


Seduced by my obsession

by biancalovesdbz1, WeAllGotLeftBehind



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Clarke, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Omega Lexa, Slow Burn, Student Clarke, Teacher-Student Relationship, teacher lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:49:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 103,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7087720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biancalovesdbz1/pseuds/biancalovesdbz1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAllGotLeftBehind/pseuds/WeAllGotLeftBehind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a street kid. She is a prisoner in a cage of pride and rage she created herself to escape the pain of her father's death.<br/>Lexa is a compassionate woman, who tries to hide this side of her from everybody else through walls of stoicism and coldness.<br/>When Lexa shows Clarke her most hidden side, will she be able to free the young girl of her cage?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, the a\b\o dinamics are a little different than usual.  
> In this, people can control the emission of their pheromones, only strong emotions can make them lose over this.  
> This is my first fic, also English is not my fist language, I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

She was running late.

She was supposed to be at school in less then 15 minutes, insted she was stuck in the traffic, on a stinking bus, mentally cursing the bus driver in all the ways she could come up with.

Anyother day of the week, she wouldn't give a damn about it, but unfortunatelly today was wednesday.  
Clarke hated wednesdays. It wasn't because of the obnouxious ring it had to her hears, or the fact that there where at least another 2 days before the weekend, nope, it was because her first lesson of  
the day was English, with miss-fucking-Woods, her general like teacher. 

Most of the kids that had the 'joy' of being in her class tought she was plauged with a bad case of 'pole stuck up your ass'. The remaining part of the students tought that she didn't get laid in ages.

Clarke re-enterd in the first group of stundets, because she belived that nobody as hot as miss Woods wouldn't be able to get laid for so long to become such the bitch she is.

The omega might had one of the most obnoxious personality in the world, but Clarke was sure that her beauty made it up for it. 

Clarke toughts about miss Woods would start as pure, she'd think of her perfect green piercing eyes, that seemed to be able to look into people's soul. Then she would think of the omega's demeanor,  
so cold and distant that would make her look like she was the twisted creation of a mad man, who achived perfection, selling the woman's soul to the devil himself.  
But then Clarke would remind herself of the woman's scent, a rich perfume of pine that seemed tainted with the sweet smeel of wet soil and that actually made her real. Not the personification of etreal and  
unattainable beauty.  
Then she would think of the woman's brown locks, that reminded her of silk, she'd think of how they'd look spread on a pillow, more specifically her pillow. From that point Clarke's toughts usually started  
to get dirtier and dirtier.

She would think of how good it would feel to touch the woman, to feel her skin under her fingertips, to lock her hands in her beautiful brown hair, to grace that same skin with her lips, to conquer the omega's smart mouth with her own. Then, she would think of how good it would be to discover new portion of that delicate sunkissed skin, of how it would feel having the entirety of her body pressed  
into her own, writhing underneat her, while the omega would be showing her neck in sign of submission, begging for the alpha to knot her thoughout the entire night and then letting her bite her neck, giving hers......

 

The blonde stopped her trail of thoughts about miss Woods, because she knew, that those thoughts would only get filthier if she kept thinking about her teacher, so the young girl decided to focus on  
her surroundings and realized she was one bus stop away from school.

When the bus stopped to drop the student off, Clarke checked her watch and discovered she still had 3 minutes to get to the class, wich obviously was on the other side of the campus from the school entrance.

The young alpha chose to run to the class, and to her own stupor she made it in 4.28 minutes.  
Unfortunatelly for her the door was already closed, so she knocked and opened it.

As soon as the wood pannel was out of the way Clarke was met with annoyed green eyes. 

They bored into her own for a few seconds before the brunette said " Griffin, you are late, again". 

Clarke still panting because of her jog, started her apology saying "I'm sorry ma'am but the bus was super la.."

The blonde girl was interrupted with an harsh "The reason why you were late doesn't matter to me Griffin. Go sit, and remember to stop at my desk at the end of the lesson." The teacher then, turned her attention back at the class, while a very angry Clarke made her way to her chair, while mumbling she was just 1.28 minutes late, wich was basically on time for any normal person.

____________

Clarke spent the entire class glaring at her teacher, she knew that she would get saturday morning detention because of her morning tardiness. She had already been late twice to miss Woods' class and  
escaped detention with her best puppy eyes. The young alpha actually tought the teacher had a soft for her, but she couldn't be sure of it considering the stoic attitude of the omega. 

She absolutely couldn't get stuck at school on a saturday morning. She had to go to work, she desperately needed the money or she'd have to sleep at the shelter again. The motel bed wasn't more confortable of  
the shelter bed, but at least there she didn't have to fear theves. 

No matter how hard she tried, when the bell rang Clarke still hadn't found a good exuse to give to the teacher, so she aproached the woman's desk defeated, thinking she'd just have to hope for the best.

____________

"Griffin, you have been late 3 times to my class" miss Woods staded. "I should have given you detention the first time you were. Do you have a good reson for wich I shouldn't give you detention this time?" the teacher said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I swear the bus was late for real!!!" Clarke answered, maybe with a bit too much enphasis. 

"This is your excuse every single time Griffin, if you know you'll be late for class taking that bus, why do you keep taking it?"

Clarke opened her mouth and closed it a few times not knowing what to answer to her teacher, so the omega started to talk again "I'm sorry Clarke but I have to punish your tardiness, I will see you on saturday morning for it."

"I have to work, please can't you just forget it one more time? I promise you it won't happen again!"

The brunette fixated Clarke with a murderous glare before saying "No Clarke, now leave before you get more detention for being late for your next class." With that the brunette concluded the agument.

After that Clarke glared at the woman a few more seconds, before deciding to leave. She didn't want to be punished even more for being rude, so she went on with her day, hoping that Raven's mom would just  
dissapear again so she could crash at the girl's house.

She felt a very crappy friend for thinking about it for the whole day.

_____________

When Clarke arrived at the cafeteria, she spotted Octavia and Raven alredy seated at their usaul table. 

She filled a tray with food, 'mmm pizza day, yey!' she tought, and then went to sit down near her two omega friends. Octavia was a feisty girl that smelt like rain and charcol, while Raven was a witty girl that smelt like fuel and metals.  
They were two atipical omegas, they had both strong personality, and both of their scent were something  
you loved or hated, just like their personalities. Obviously Clarke loved them. 

"Hey Clarkey!" Octavia and Raven greeted her at the same time, an the cuckled a little over the fact.

"Hey, girls, how are you doing?" Clarke answered.

"We're great Clarke, but we heard that today somebody finally got detention from the Commander!" Raven said, while Octavia giggled. 

Clarke groaned at them and then proceded telling them she'll have to come at school on saturday instead of working. And both her friends knew what it ment for Clarke.

"Shit Clarke we're sorry, maybe I could ask my mom to make you sleep at mine." Octavia said. 

"Naa, no need fot that O, you know how your mom gets when an alpha nears you." Clarke shuddered, she still feared Octavia's mom. She got hit with an umbrella, repeatedly, after being found on Octavia's room floor asleep. "Yeah, I agree with Clarke O, not an option." came Bellamy's voice from behind Clarke. He was fallowed by Jasper, Monty and Wells. All of their places weren't an option beacause their parents would smell Clarke from 10 miles distance. 

"Mmm, maybe my mom will leave tonight Clarke and you can come at mine, I'll text you if she leaves." Raven said with a sympathetic look. "Yeah, thanks Rae let me know if it happens. anyway let's change the subject of the discussion please." 

"Sure, why don't we talk about the fact, that the teacher's pet got detention today." Bellamy said, making everyhody at the table laugh, except Clarke. 

The friends kept making fun of each other untill the end of luch, and then they separated to go on with their day.

_________ 

After school Clarke went to the Ark café for her shift. It was boring as usual, she hated that job.  
She had to deal with rude costumers the whole time, with a fake smile on her face. But she needed the money so she kept going on no matter what.

When it finally ended, her shitty day got even worst, because she  
found out it was raining like hell outside. She also didn't have an umbrella, wich was an item she hated after what happened with O's mom. 

She pulled on her hood and started her trek towards the damn shelter, when a car pulled up near her.  
At the driver's seat was seated miss Woods, that basically commanded Clarke to get in the veicol, leaving the young alpha no other choice then the one to obey. 

"So where do I take you Clarke?" the omega asked kindly. 

Clarke had no idea of how to answer that. So she simply stared at the woman untill she herd her ask, the same question again. At that point Clarke hoped for the best and decided to give the shelter adress  
to the teacher hoping she wouldn't relize where she'd be taking the girl. 

Clarke wasn't so lucky. "Clarke, why are you staying at a shelter?" the woman asked. Clarke stared ahead of her, she did everything she could not to look in the woman's eyes while she said "If you're not going to take me there, you can just leave me here right now."  
"That is not what I asked you, Clarke." Clarke started to move to get out of the car, when a firm hand  
gripped her forearm. 

"Wait, it's downpouring outside."

"I know, but still I have to reach the damn shelter, so if you're not taking me there you'd better let go of me right now." Clarke growled losing a bit of her temper.

The omega frowned, and glared a little at the alpha, then said "Give me a minute to think about it."

Clarke knew, that the omega was thinking about calling the police or not, after all Clarke was still a 16 years old alpha, that ran away from home, even if her mom didn't declare the fact at the police,  
she would still be taken back there by them. 

After what felt like an hour, the brunette finally took a decision. 

"Fine, I'll drive you." 

Clarke smiled and thanked the teacher. The journey was made in complete silence. An awkward one. 

After a while, Clarke wasn't reconizing the streets anymore, and she remembered the way to the shelter perfectly, so she growled angrily to the driver "Where the fuck are you taking me?" 

"To my place, Clarke" the omega answered nonchalantly.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Do you mind stop cursing? I find it crass. Anyway I know for sure, that the shelter ran out of place tonight, Clarke." miss Woods paused to look at Clarke, "I volounteer there few nights a week. With such a rain we had to let everybody in." 

Clarke should have tought about this. She should've known, that with such rain they'd take in whoever would show up at their door, and not just underage people. 

The young alpha stayed silent few more moments, breathing in the calming pheromones the omega was now emanating.

"Thank you" she whispered. She couldn't belive, that this woman was kind enough to take an almost unkwon pup alpha in her house, even if it was for just one night. Miss Woods smiled at her, and then nodded just once. 

After that the silence remained, but it wasn't as awkward as the previous one, mostly thanks to the calming pheromones the omega was emanating. 

Clarke loved them, she didn't feel so calm in ages. She tought she actually felt content, one thing she'd never thought to feel again.  
The alpha knew she was staring at the driving goddes, but she couldn't help it.  
She felt a weird affection toward the woman. It wasn't simply gratitude, but real affection.  
Clarke was a little afraid of how easily this woman was winning her over, but in that moment, the alpha couldn't bring herself to care.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omegas with strong personalities, like Raven , Octavia and Lexa don't submit completelly to alphas. They feel the alpha's dominant pheromones, and they'd feel a need to submit, that could cloud their judgment for some time, but they are able to say no, even if it costs a great amount of energy

She knew what she'd want from her, a lonely omega, helping a young alpha?

She'd want comfort, human touch. She'd want a soul to share. She'd want someone to share a bed with.  
Because Clarke knew. She knew that no matter what, a kind gest must be repaid.

She knew that nobody would do anything for free, without anything in exchange.

Maybe miss Woods wouldn't ask for it directly, but Clarke had already been in this kind of situation.  
She didn't want to owe nothing to nobody.

She'd found herself thinking of the meaning of JUNAI, it meant pure love the one were you give, and   
you get, the one where you'd just get, get and get.

For a second in that car she tought she'd found it.

Maybe she was a cynic, maybe she'd lost hope, but she knew that nothing came for free.

That's why the rest of the journey was made in silence. That was why she had survived on the streets more than a few days. 

_________

The car stopped in front of a building. It was full of appartments. The building wasn't old, nor modern.  
It looked normal. It'd be the kind of building where a young copple would come to live. 

She was led up some stairs, untill she reached the 7th floor, without elevetor.

The omega said she'd get used to it, it got a weird tune to her hears. Clarke never managed to get used to anything in the last 5 months. Since she left her home. she'd always had to change somenthing. 

From her partner, Finn, to the number of steps she'd have to make to reach the bed. 

Nothing ever stayed the same. 

That was why she knew the relationship between her and this young woman would change. And soon.

That was why as soon as the door closed Clarke started what she'd think was the right thing to do.

She touched the woman, just like in her own dreams. She put her hands on petrified hips at first.   
She emited strong dominant pheromones, the ones that would make any omega submit and drip for her.  
Then she started to kiss her teacher's neck.

The omega underneat her fingertips was motionless. A good girl ready fot what was to come next, for what  
she'd asked.

She started kissing her collarbone, then proceeded with her neck, her jaw and slowly arriving   
to her mouth. 

As soon as she reached it, she tought she found paradise. It was a chaste kiss they'd shared, because the omega was still umoving, a press of her lips on a statue. It made her anxious, thinking that her   
avances fell on deft hears, it was why she startet to move her hand. It travelled under the omega's shirt, directly on her breast. The pheromones Clarke was pumping out were no longer the arousing ones, but the desperate kind.

She was desperate for an affermative response, that never came. 

She felt a soft hand pushing on her chest, the smooth lips she was kissing detach from hers as she heard a tender voice tell her "No, this is not what I want from you."

The omega stared at her for a few hearthbeats, "This is a safe place."

The woman pulled Clarke's hand from her chest, and stared in the young alpha's eyes.  
Her eyes would speak of love and nothing more, or less. Clarke seemed unable to understand it.  
Those eyes, where the ones reserved to somebody who lived on the other side of the line.  
The ones that didn't need money. The ones that had a normal life and didn't have to find a new place to sleep almost every night. The ones who believed in pure love. 

She found herself at a loss of words.

She kept emiting pheromones though, the kind that showed confusion, fear. Not the kind that alphas should emit in front of omegas.

But the teacher chose to make her pains stop, and pumped out again those calming pheromones, and said "The guest room is on the right, and the bathroom is the door in the middle. My room is the one on the  
left. Please do not wake me unless it is necessary. Goodnight Clarke."

With that the omega retreated in her room and locked the door. 

It only left Clarke with the choice of showering and then sleeping in a bed that was full of love no matter of how empty it was.

___________

She was woken up by a loud tud, and soft cursing. She actually tought of sleeping through it and not going to school that day, but she was pretty sure the teacher that was in the apartment with her wouldn't let her. 

So instead of staying in bed she decided to confront the woman she groped the previous night, before being rejected.

She was pretty sure she smelt of regreat during the night. But now, she was fucking sure of it.

She made her way toward the kitchen that was filled with an amzing nice smell of coffe. As soon as she got inside the room the air became poisoned with her pheromones.

She knew the omega sensed her waking up, Clarke started to pump out nervous pheromones, with the ones that comunicated shame. 

"Goodmornig Clarke, would you like some coffé?" the beautiful woman in front of her said. The woman was in control of her emotions, no matter how tense the situation seemed.

"Yes, please." the young alpha replayed. 

The omega poured the coffé in two cups, leaving the sugar and the milk near in case Clarke would want it, but the alpha liked her coffé black and bitter, just like the omega. She loved to taste the real   
essence of things, unpolluted by human sweet lies. 

The omega stayed in crontrol of her emotions, almost as if she wasn't part of what happened the preuvious evening. She kept staring at Clarke with that cold demenaur, that'd make all her students   
cower infront of her, and right now, was making Clarke cower.

Clarke found it hard to look in those green eyes for quite sometime, she still thougt they'd see into her soul if she'd meet them. 

But she knew she would have to look in those emerald pools sooner or later, so in the end she just did it. In those beautiful things she found nothing but understanding. Like the brunette knew what the alpha was going through, like the omega knew every simple tought that was going through the blonde's head.

Clarke was pretty sure that was the only reason why she blurted out an "I'm sorry I tought it was what you wanted. I mean nobody gives nothing for f..." istead of the 'the fuck am I here for?', that swam through her head all night. She couldn't belive this was just an altruistic gest, because if it was she'd have to rethink over all of her choices in the last year. If it was true, then she'd be the villan, and she couldn't be.

Her apology was abruptly stopped.

"I do, Clarke" it was all the glacial omega said reguarding last night. "I will come to the Ark tonight, if when you close the caffé you'll choose to walk away from me, I'll forget about everything that concernes you. If you'll choose to stick with me you'll have to live by my rules as long you'll stay here." the woman made a pause, to be sure her words where received by her silent interlocutor.  
"You have the whole day to think about it. Make the right choice and don't talk about it to anyone" with that the alpha was left in the omega's unknown appartment unsupervised, it was the kind of trust,   
that nobody would give to the person Clarke had become in the last 5 months, wich the alpha needed so desperatedly.

___________ 

As soon as the omega left Clarke started to look for something edible inside the flat, after about 10 minutes she gave up. That woman was a healthy food freak, there was no way in hell that the alpha was going to eat any of that shit.

Defeated and hungry she went to get dressed and to brush her teeth. 

She grabbed her backpack and left the lovely place that was already becoming an home in her head.

________

She arrived at school on time and spent the whole day thinking about the woman's offer. She didn't listen to a word her teachers said during classes. It seemed like she was in a daze the entire day.

If she acepted, she'd have to live under the omega's rules, but she'd have a home.

Yet, she couldn't do it. Miss Woods had to earn something from it, right? She couldn't belive the omega was doing this just because it was the right thing to do. No, there was no fucking way. So instead of   
making a decision Clarke chose to wait. Her plan consisted in making the omega spill why she'd take Clarke in and then she'd simply do what she always used to do, go with the flow.

She was so satisfied with her idiotic plan to not register the arrival of her two favorite omegas.

"Clarke? Why are you smiling like a total idiot?" Raven asked.

"Did you get laid?" Octavia added.

"Uh, no no, I was just spacing out." Clarke managed to say, wich was somenthing considering that the 95% of her neurons were thinking about miss Woods.

"Oh my god you totally got laid!" Octavia said while smirking.

"No Octavia I d..." 

"Did you find another Finn?" Raven interrupted her with a serious face.

"No Rae, you know I don't do that shit anymore." Clarke lied miserably.

"Then where did you sleep last night?" Octavia said clenching her jaw. 

Both of the omegas knew the alpha was lying, wich was somenthing that infuriated Clarke.

"Where I sleep it's none of your business, don't act like you care after most of the time you just don't care where the fuck I am." Clarke growled in a thretening way. 

The omegas knew, Clarke belived that attack is the best defence. They also weren't the kind of girls who backed down from a fight, that's why Octavia growled "It was your choice to leave your place, it's not our fault if you don't have a bed to sleep at night, you also know you can't always stay at our places or our parents will take you back at your mother's. So. Stop. Acting. Like. A. Bitch."

Clarke glared at Octavia for a while before anouncing she was leaving the table to fuck somebody to get a place to stay in tonigth then. 

Before she could leave tough, Raven grabbed her arm and softy said "Please Clarke we're worried for you, we don't want you to end up chained to a toilet in some creep's house."

The alpha knew Raven was right, and that her friends were just worried abou her. She was lucky the first time round with Finn. Yes, he was an asshole that broke both her heart and Raven's but still he was harmless, so if she wasn't lucky maybe she'd end up meeting a creep for real.

She sat back in her place, swallowed her pride and mumbled a "Sorry for being a dick."

The omegas smiled at her, knowing how hard it was for Clarke to admidt she's made a mistake and then asked again where the girl slept the previous night.

Clarke pondered about what telling her friends, and after a few moments she decide to just omit the woman's name from her story. She gave her friends a truthfull and acurate description of what happened the night before and in the morning. 

"Clarke you said you were gonna tell us the truth." Raven reminded her. 

"And I'm." 

"Rae, maybe she's not lying, maybe this chick just wants to help a kid in need." Octavia said. The young omega was always the hopefull one of the trio. 

"That'd be fucking weird O." Raven said to the younger omega.

"There's no way she is." Clarke said.

Both Raven and Octavia knew why Clarke didn't belive in altruistic gestures, charity fundations and religions. They always listened to the alpha when she'd pour her heart out while drunk. So they decided to agree that the best way of proceeding was the one the blonde's already thought to.

__________

She was locking the door of the café when she heard a car pull up. She reconised the engine noises, and knew without turning back that it was miss Woods'. 

When she turned, the woman in the car was staring at her with an eyebrow raised. It looked like she was silently asking for Clarke's answer. 

Clarke got on the car. She was going to fallow through her plan and ask the woman why she was doing this, as soon as they'd reached the house, she'd start the interogation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! I decided to write in the notes how the a/b/o dynamics works in this fic and how the alphas and omegas are meant to act for society standards. I'll write the dynamics that relates to the chapter in question.   
> The omegas have power over other people, through pheromones, just like the alphas. But there's a big difference between how they work on the receiving subject. Alphas make people submit through fear, they show the receiving subjects that they are stronger then them in anyway, and that they will be easyly overpowered by the alpha if they don't submit.   
> Omegas, instead of alphas, persude people, do to as aked.   
> Their pheromones attracts the subject sending him in a state of frenzy where they are easily convinced to do everything the omega asks. Society dictates that the free use of pheromones is indicated only for children. So if an adult alpha or omega uses them will be seen as somebody incapable of controlling their natural insticts, like somebody that still needs to grow up.

The journey to the apartment was made in complete silence. 

Clarke was sure that miss Woods had a kink for silence and that the embarassing ones where her favorites.

______________

The omega led the young alpha up the stairs, just like the previous time.

She opened the door calmly, gesturing to Clarke to get inside first, soon following the blonde and then closing the door. 

The younger girl noticed that the teacher loved routines, because this was exactly what happened the first time she was invited in the apartment, she then proceeded to leave her keys on a hook near the door and the purse on a coat hook nearby.

The omega then directed herself toward the kitchen to pour two glasses of water.   
She left one glass on the counter and took the other one, she leaned on the sink and started to sip at it while staring at Clarke with a raised brow.

She was giving Clarke the first move, and the alpha took it without second thought. "So, what do you get from all of this?"

"Nothing, Clarke" was all the omega said, still keeping her piercing stare on the blonde alpha. 

"Bullshit!" was the girl's answer. Clarke has always been an hotheaded alpha.   
It was her weakness. She was incapable of winning an argument, using only her words because she used to lose her temper all the time. She'd usually win them by making her interlocutor submit with her pheromones, which was something that would never happen with miss Woods. 

Her mom used to help her with this situation. She would have loved to see Clarke become a politician. That was why as soon as Clarke showed the signs of being an alpha she started to give the girl lessons on how to control her innate aggression. 

Clarke was trying to remember her mother's lessons. So she took a deep breath and then proceeded saying "Look I'm not stupid, ok? Also I won't tell a soul what you're about to say, so please just tell me truth, I need to know" the alpha pleaded. She thought that maybe showing herself reasonable, and a bit vulnerable, would make the omega realize she could trust her.

The woman in front her kept her features stoic, she didn't move a muscle on her face. She kept herself cold, like nothing could get through her. In that moment Clarke thought that the omega would have been an amazing politician. The woman was a master at hiding her emotion. 

"I'm doing this to help you, Clarke" miss Woods kept her tone even. Nothing could faze that woman, Clarke thought. "I can assure you I' m not gaining anything out of this, in fact I'm the one risking here, Clarke. Why can't you accept that?" 

The alpha wasn't stupid, she knew that the omega was now trying to get the upper hand, insinuating herself in her head. "What happened to you, Clarke?" the omega asked moving around the counter to get closer to the alpha. “What made you stop believing in good gestures?” every question was escorted by a step.   
“Why can't YOU trust me, Clarke?” the woman was only one step away from the blonde. “Why are you so afraid of letting me help you?” now the omega was whispering. Her tone kept low because of the proximity. It was sweet, like honey and inquisitive, her breath warm and wet on the blonde's jaw and ear. “I need you to take the first step.” Clarke's head was lost inside of a see of coaxing pheromones. She couldn't get a grip on her thoughts. It was like she was tilting, she just wanted to give everything to the omega that was pressuring her for an answer. “Please Clarke, let me in.” she was slowly articulating her words, doing everything she could to keep the alpha inside of this trance.

The omega was playing dirty. Clarke realized that too late, she was trying her best to not give the omega what she wanted. It was a power struggle that the alpha was losing. 

“I can't. If, if you're telling the truth, it means I'm the bad guy. I can't be...” 

Miss Woods moved her hand to the back of Clarke's neck. She put little pressure on the back of the girl's head, as if she was asking the alpha to put her head in the crook of her neck. Clarke settled her head where the omega wanted it. Proceeded to wrap her arms around her teacher and leaned her weight on her.   
The brunette wasn't prepared for the extra weight, and stumbled backwards until she hit the counter. “If you're one of the good guys, it means that they exist. It means I'm the selfish one, that I've betrayed him. That I've betrayed her. If it's true I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror, anymore. It means I'm one of the bad guys.” Clarke took a deep breath and continued talking. “He taught me that, you know? He always said that there are good guys and bad guys in this world. He always said that we were good guys. When he died I stopped believing it, because how could something like that happen to a good guy?”

In that position the omega's pheromones were taking control of her. 

The alpha found herself spilling everything, and not in a coherent way.  
“He was in coma, they said he would never wake up again. I couldn't let him go. I just, I couldn't. My mom, she did it.” Tears were welling in her eyes., she started to shake. “Who, Clarke?” the omega asked. 

“My dad. She said it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to believe her. I just told her she didn't want to take care of him anymore, that she wanted to just find a new alpha to mount her. I blamed her. Told her she killed him because she was a whore. ” she started to cry, after she admitted it. “She did it because she loved him. I thought she was one of the bad guys. I left because I hated her so much, I had to blame her, how was I supposed to believe bad things happens to good guys like him, he was my hero. He always taught me to be the good guy, to love in the purest way. When I left I stopped living by his rules. I started to believe that people didn't do anything, unless there was something to gain out of it. I just started to believe that only bad guys were real.”

Now the alpha was sobbing, but she couldn't stop talking. It was liberating. “How could I become this? I can't believe I'm the one who wanted to make him suffer. I can't accept I was the one to destroy her like this. How can I be the good guy now?”

Clarke lifted her head to look the omega in the eyes, showing her all of the pain she was feeling in that moment “I couldn't accept that I was the bad guy, I fought so hard to keep believing my own lie. I failed them, if you do this I won't be able to keep living in this lie.” the girl now was pleading the woman, she was begging her to give her some peace “Please just give something, anything to make me feel the good guy again.”

“I can't Clarke.” the omega was now looking at her with empathy and compassion, and she could feel her voice trembling with emotions, which emotions she couldn't understand “All I can give you, is a home. I can give you time to heal and I can tell you, that you can make amends. That you can grow up and forgive yourself. That you can make your mother forgive yourself. I can give you all the time you need.” 

“How can I make her forgive me?”

“You're the only one that knows how to do that.” 

____________

Clarke kept crying for hours after she explained herself to miss Woods.

The omega guided the girl's head to her neck again and started to rub her back soothingly while pumping out reassuring pheromones. 

Even after the tears have subsided, they didn't move. If it was up to Clarke she would have never moved again.

She was feeling safe in the omega's embrace, understood and loved. It made her remember how it felt to be hugged by her dad. She was enjoying this too much and that was why she moved to get closer to the omega, tightening her arm around the slim figure and burying her nose in the woman's neck.

Her new position made the omega release a whine. 

“You ok? Was all that Clarke croaked out after hearing the sound.

“Yeah, but I really need you to stop leaning all your weight on me.” 

The alpha blushed furiously and quickly readjusted herself so that she was still hugging the omega loosely, without putting her weight on her. Now the young girl was facing the teacher again. She was openly staring in those emerald eyes.   
Miss Woods was staring right back at her.   
The alpha was captured by her eyes, that she didn't even register the woman was re-positioning her hand to caress her jaw, and when it made contact with her face she jumped. Her cheeks tinged with pink, and the omega let out a chuckle, Clarke's new favorite sound in the world. 

“Maybe we should move. So that I could start making dinner.” the brunette said shyly, caressing Clarke's neck with her nose, inhaling the alpha scent. 

“Uhm, yeah sure” the young girl said, letting the woman out of her grasp.

The teacher smiled at her one last time and started the dinner telling Clarke to get a shower in the meantime. 

_______________

When Clarke came back from her shower she found the dinner ready on the table. The omega was sitting on the couch reading a news paper, waiting for the alpha to finish. 

When she arrived in the room, the omega smiled at her putting down the paper and approaching the dinner table.   
Clarke was surprised to see the omega wearing just a loose t-shirt and some shorts. She always saw her wearing pant suits, skirts and shirts at school. 

Without realizing, the young girl started to stare at her teacher's tights. The piece of skin that Clarke had the pleasure to see for the first time. 

She was pulled out of her little world by miss Woods, that cleared her voice to bring her back on heart. She faced a smirking omega, that was silently demanding an explanation. 

Once again the alpha blushed, and mumbled “Uhm, sorry miss Woods, but you know, I've never seen you dressed so...” 'little, sexily, provocatively...yep Griffin you're a perv' Clarke thought to herself, before finishing her sentence with a “casually.” 

“Well I don't like to sleep in skirts and shirts Clarke.” the omega smirked again and the said “also when we're alone you can call me Lexa.” 

Clarke beamed at her and nodded. “Sure thing, Lexa.” Clarke couldn't wait to know how it would feel to have her name rolling off her tongue, so she said it right away. 

They settled themselves at the table and ate what Lexa made. Clarke had no idea of what she was eating, but she was happy that the healthy food the omega was making her eat didn't taste as bad as it looked. When they were done Clarke decided to make herself useful and cleaned all of the dirty dishes. 

It was when she settled back at the table that Lexa decided to start the serious talks again. 

“I believe you are staying, right Clarke?”

The alpha stiffened, and nodded, avoiding the omega's eyes. She didn't want to have another talk full of emotion, like the one that happen before. She didn't have the energy for it.   
“I know it's been a long day for you, but we will have to talk about the living arrangements sooner or later.” 

“Yeah I know, but could it be tomorrow, please?” Clarke asked with her best puppy dog eyes, that earned her an eye roll, a sigh and a victory.

“Fine but tomorrow we will talk about it. When do you finish at the cafe?” the woman asked defeated. 

“I don't work tomorrow” Clarke said smiling “I asked for the day off, because it's Octavia's birthday and we gotta celebrate it!” She paused a little and then added “Uhm, I'm actually supposed to sleep at her place.” 

Lexa sighed “Fine, we'll talk about it on Saturday morning, oh yes you still have detention. Try to not be late.” Lexa smiled mischievously and then added a  
“Good night, Clarke” before retreating to her room.

The alpha groaned disapprovingly and then started to go towards her room mumbling a “Goodnight Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I would like to thank all of the people that left kudos and comments! Especilly the ones that left comments! Thank you very much for taking the time to write those nice words to me!!  
> One last thing. I would very much appreciate if you'd take some time to leave comments on this chapter, because I feel like in some parts I didn't explain myself clearly. Also I don't have a beta and if you see something that doesn't seem right in it, please tell me so that I can correct it, and make the reading of my fic more enjoyable for everybody! Thanks again for taking the time to read it and have a nice day! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, sorry for not updating last week, but oitnb was out and I had to watch it!!!  
> Anyway, I'll probably post another chapter tonight or tuesday, and probably two next sunday for reaching 100 kudos, thank you very much for that by the way! Then I'll go back to normal updating once a week. Thanks to the comments too, you're very kind and hope you'll enjoy this chapter that is clexa centic! Enjoy:)

Sleep didn't come easy. She was confused. How could she overcome everything that happened last year with just one talk. How could she find peace so easily, after what she's done.

She didn't get it. She should be feeling like crap, right? She has just admitted all the things she did wrong, but yet, she was now at peace. Was it because now she was starting to heal, or maybe was it because she was feeling a little bit like her old self again? 

Was it because now she had a new purpose? Clarke found it the most reasonable answer. Because for a long time she just kept surviving and not living. Maybe now she could be the good guy, what her dad wanted, maybe like this she'd keep her dad alive, at least in his teaching, she could right her wrongs, make her mother forgive her. 

It was hard for her to wrap her head around it, but still she was happy and determinate. She wouldn't let herself down, nor Lexa. 

Lexa.

That was something else she couldn't figure out . She also couldn't figure out how just one talk with the magnetic omega made her change her thoughts, she couldn't get how easily the omega made her walls shatter. Nobody before her could get this walls to even shake, yet the woman shattered them. 

Her mum tried with everything, the first few times she ran away her mother would always call the cops and denounce the fact, so that the police would actively search for her, making it impossible to stay in a shelter. She even tried to send her to a shrink. She never said a word to the guy. 

Her friends tried too. Octavia would get her drunk and then listen to her incoherent rants, in Clarke's opinion the best way to make her talk. 

Bellamy would lure her to a gym, promising her a warm meal if she'd do some exercise to get out a little bit of rage. After a while she started to go with him willingly, the first few times were pure torture, but in the end it was a good way to get her to open up. He dissipated the rage with exercise, making her hearth lighter. 

Jasper and Monty made her smoke a lot of weed. When she did that she used to make up a lot of analogy between her life and, well, food, like the time where they'd spend 30 minutes talking about why ice creams had to be so little and finish so soon and why salads were endlessly. Nobody would actually understand anything during those nights, but at least she always laughed. 

Finn, the bastard known as Finn, would tell her he loved her. That he'd be always by her side, that they'd fight everything together. Just you and him against the world. No, wait, you, him and Raven. That guy was a real dick, and now thinking about him, made Clarke's skin crawl. That guy had 2 girls. The perfect boyfriend. She hated herself for having her first time with him. The only good thing that came out from all of that was Raven. 

She couldn't believe her luck. After all that happened with Finn when Raven found her in a line to get checked in in a shelter, she still dragged Clarke to her place to make her sleep on the couch. Telling her that she should thank her because if it wasn't for the alpha she would still be dating that piece of shit. Raven was the kind of girl that would always call you on your shit. She was always ready to make Clarke face her mistakes, unfortunately for her when she did try to call her out on the ones about her family the alpha shout her out. The blonde had no mercy, and simply told her to mind her own business, more specifically her drunken mother. Since that episode Raven and Clarke never talked about family.  
The one that chose the worst approach was Wells. He tried to talk her, with no alcohol and weed involved, just an hearth to hearth talk. Not a good idea, because that released all of Clarke's wrath. Clarke didn't have anything on him to make him shut up like Raven, Wells was the kind of guy that always did everything by the book. That was why he was the one who got a punch fair in the jaw. 

Thinking about him made the girl's hearth ache in her chest. After their fight she kept a lot of distance with him. She was torn between rage and guilt. She couldn't face him, and when he did another fight escalated. After that they tried to be friends again, but it wasn't like before. Awkward silence would always be their companion, so Clarke decided to avoid him, unless they were in group. 

Thinking about her friends made Clarke realize, that was where she should start her apology tour. 

In the last months she didn't hurt just her mum, but all the people that surrounded her. She decided that she'd start with Wells at Octavia's party the next day. She'd have to swallow her pride and apologize, no big deal, right?

…...........

 

Her annoying alarm went on at 6:30 like every morning. She groaned and then turned it off as soon as she could. She totally forgot to change it last night, so now she was up at the crack of dawn for no reason. If she'd have to take the bus it would be the right time to wake up, but she'd figured that Lexa would drive her today. 

Instead of going back to sleep, she decided to start her day. She thought of trying to do something nice for her host by cooking her something. She was an awful cook, but she was pretty sure that in the cabinet above the sink was stationed a pancake mix, she'd just have to be careful to not burn it. 

She got up from the bed and moved toward the kitchen. When she got there she found that breakfast had already been made. A bowl of fruit sat on the table waiting to be eaten. Next to it there was note that said to be ready at 7.30 or she'd have to get the bus. Sometimes the omega had zero manners. 

She was in the middle of her bowl, when the front door opened revealing a very sweaty Lexa, wearing some short shorts and a sport bra. Her eyes went right to her abs. Damn those things were defined. She couldn't be blamed for the thoughts that started in her mind. She'd love to kiss them and run her tongue over her perfect muscles and do many other things to her teacher body, but she was pulled out of her thoughts by a dry “Stop staring, and finish your food. I won't be late because of you.” 

“Jezz, I didn't know you got nice early in the morning. If I knew I would have woke up before you left.” Clarke sarcastically retorted. 

It earned the alpha a glare and another rude answer. “Move your ass Clarke, I'll be out of the shower in ten, and you still have to take one. Eat and do it fast.”

“I showered last night, relax. Also I thought you found this kind of language crass, if I'm not mistaken” Clarke smirked at the end of her sentence.

“Just eat.” was all the teacher said before moving toward the bathroom. 

Clarke took it as a victory and proceeded to finish her breakfast. 

….......

 

The car drive toward the school was a torture. 

Clarke didn't want a repeat of the previous time, when she and the teacher just sat there in silence so she decided to start the radio, that earned her a “You should ask before touching, Clarke. Nobody ever taught you that or it simply didn't register?” 

The alpha chose to not reply and simply kept fumbling with the knobs. When she found a known song she stopped and started to sing along. Milkshake, that was kind of a dated song, but in truth it never gets old. 

The omega huffed and changed the station on a boring news channel. 

No matter what the grumpy omega did, there was nothing that could make the alpha lose her newfound good mood, so Clarke just started to hum the song.

“Jesus, do you mind stopping, please?” the brunette asked exasperated by the blonde's cheerfulness. 

“Only, if you stop the grumpiness” Clarke smiled at the teacher “Also, you can talk to me if something's bothering you, ya know? I could help.”

“Yeah, for sure.” the omega replied with a sarcastic tone. 

“You know just because you're the “adult” it doesn't mean that I can't help you and by the way right now you're the only one acting like a child.” the teacher just stared confused at her, so the young girl kept talking “I'm not dumb, I mean, I've been in your class for 2 years and I'm pretty sure you're the kind of person that thinks teenagers are just a pack of hormonal pups that roam around the school with just one thought in mind.”

“I never said th...” the omega was abruptly interrupted by her companion “True, but you think it” the alpha smirked victorious, she knew that she had Lexa cornered because of the pout that was forming on the beautiful teacher's face “Told you, not dumb, maybe blonde but not dumb.” Clarke now was flashing the woman a huge grin. “So are you gonna tell me what's up now?” 

Lexa sighed and said “Fine just let me park.” the duo was now stationed in front of a park that was 10 minutes away from the school in one of the alley that private school kids would never travel. 

The alpha didn't leave that school because her mum threatened to the denounce her latest escape to the police again if she didn't, she also told her to not let her grades lower too much, or it would happen the same thing. The woman said that even if Clarke didn't care about her future she still did. That was why she still kept her attendance as regular as possible, and after all that happened she was happy that her mum forced her to continue school. 

After the parking maneuver the omega sighed and started to tell the young girl the reason of her obnoxious behavior “I have a meeting with viceprincipal Wallace” just that was enough of an explanation “I want to bring back the debate team so I have to ask him for the money.” the brunette sighed again, defeated. 

Clarke now totally understood why the omega was being such a bitch. “ And you'll have to deal with the sleaziest specimen of alpha in the whole world.” Mr Cage Wallace was a real insensitive, alpha chauvinist prick and a big pig. He was the kind of alpha that thought that omegas were only breeding material. Figuring him out wasn't difficult at all, you'd just have to have the pleasure of assisting to one of his terribly boring lessons.

If an omega would ask him a question they would end up being derided and remembered of how much of a waste of money it was to give them education. 

He also loved to give them creepy overly sexualised pointed stares and viscid comments over their appearances. 

Unfortunately the bastard was as creep as smart and every one of his sexist comments couldn't be considered inappropriate enough to cost him his job, after all he was the principal's son. 

The principal himself wasn't a bad guy, but still he always covered his idiotic son's ass when things got rough for the guy. Clarke was sure she heard him reprimand the prick about his conduct more than once, so maybe Lexa could use that in her service. “Maybe you could find a way to bring the principal in the matter, or maybe get one of the alpha or beta teacher to ask him. I'm pretty sure you could manage that.” Clarke said smirking mischievously, remembering how Lexa coaxed her to talk.

The omega blushed slightly, and that made the blonde grin.

“I am not going to ask for anybody's help.” the teacher frowned and pouted at the same time. 

Clarke found it adorable and started to smile to herself, while string at the woman's features.

“But maybe I could manage to get Dante and Cage listen to me simultaneously.” the brunette said, locking herself out of the real world to strategize on her battle plan. After a few seconds she even started to smile, that made Clarke's stomach do funny things. Seeing a smile on that face was oddly rare, and she thought that it was a crime to deprive the world of such a beautiful sight. All that mattered to the alpha in that moment was to immortalize everything about Lexa, so that she could make a masterpiece out of it during the day. 

Both women were forcibly pulled out from their thoughts by a loud guitar blasting from the teacher's phone. Clarke watched as Lexa turned it down and then proceeded to explain the student that she was meant to be at school in 10 minutes and that the walk would only take her 5 minutes. 

Clarke nodded and left the car after she said her goodbyes. 

The brunette answered her with a relieved “Thank you.” and then pulled off toward the school. 

The alpha couldn't understand why, but the she found herself more and more attracted to the weird omega that never stopped to amaze her.

….......

Clarke spent her day as usual. She was bored by almost every lesson but still took her notes, or at least she tried to do that in between her thoughts and considerations over Lexa. 

It was weird how the thoughts about the woman would pop up in her brain. 

She would ponder about many unrelated things about the woman, like her eyes colour .

Was it green or grey? 

How good would Lexa look as Tomb Rider?

Was she a bottom or a top? 

What was her favorite book?

What was her favorite position in bed?

Was she the boring classic tipe?

Or was she the kind that liked to try every position on the kamasutra?

Who did she grew up with? 

How are her parents?

Who did she vote for at the last election? 

Does she have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?

Does she like woman alphas or men alphas?

Was she even into alphas?

Maybe she was a betas kind of omega, or an omegas kind of omega, you never know.

Clarke stayed on the thought for most of her history class feeling torn between wanting the teacher to like alphas or omegas. In the end she compromised hoping that the woman would like both.

She kept asking herself all of this questions throughout the whole day, and after lunch she started to be obsessed about how the brunette's meeting went. Playing in her mind many different scenarios until the end of her classes. 

She couldn't keep still for the entire time writhing in her chair, and hoping that the woman didn't break Wallace's nose. Was Lexa happy with the outcome? Was she upset? She couldn't shake those thoughts out of her mind. What if Lexa was upset and needed some comfort? What if that prick had said something sexist and the omega was now punching a wall instead of his face? Was she happy and wanted to gush about it? Would she smile again? That was what convinced Clarke to head toward the teacher's class instead of Bellamy's car that was waiting to bring her friend group to his and Octavia's place.

When she arrived in front of the teacher's door she saw Lexa stuffing away some sheets in her purse. She hovered a little there trying to understand the woman's mood, but as usual it was unreadable, so she decided to simply go inside. 

She approached the omega's desk loudly, to make sure her presence would be known in the room. 

When the omega turned around she greeted Clarke with a warm smile and a soft “Hey.” well that meant she had what she wanted. 

“Hey” Clarke started her answer with a smile “How is everything going? I mean how did the meeting go?”

“Actually, there was no meeting” the omega said happily “ I managed to get Dante involved stalking him until he took his coffee, and then I talked his ears off, sparkling his interest, so I basically bypassed Cage and got the principal's approval right away.” the omega was now grinning proudly to herself.

“Anyway, why are you here, Clarke?” 

The alpha blushed, and started to stutter out a good reason for being in the class other than the one that she wanted to know how things went for the teacher. “Uhm, well, you know, I... it's so hot in here isn't it?” she chuckled nervously. She didn't think of what to say to explain her presence. She told the teacher she'd be gone until Saturday. 

The omega fixed her with a curious stare. “Clarke, relax, what happened?” 

The blonde started to blush even more, was there a way to admit that she obsessed about her for the whole day without sounding too creepy? That she couldn't leave without knowing her state of mind. That she wouldn't leave if she didn't know that everything was ok, and today's occurrence was a minor one. Two days of acquaintance and she was whipped. Clarke's mind wasn't working any more, she was also taking centuries to answer, so she decided to play the nonchalant card, after 5 minutes of awkwardness and while she was still blushing, shrugging one shoulder and saying “Just you know, making sure everything was ok with you, ya know” and chuckled again. 

That made Lexa erupt in a belly laugh. “All of that to ask me if I was ok??” 

Now Clarke was a bright red and was also staring at her feet. “Yeah well, that's all, yep I guess I'll see you on Saturday.” she turned toward the door and started to leave. 

Before she could Lexa grabbed her arm to make her turn around. The motion left Clarke and the woman standing in front of each other with only a few inches to separate them. It was then that the brunette rested her hand on the blonde's face whispering “ Thank you, you don't have to worry for me.” the proximity made Clarke lose any kind of concern about their location, so she pressed her body to Lexa's and put her head in the crook of her neck, smelling the purest essence of the omega. 

“I couldn't leave without knowing if you were ok, I know it's stupid because it wasn't a big deal, but I just couldn't” before finishing the sentence she pushed Lexa toward the desk and kissed her neck, that made the omega shiver and the alpha smiled, pushing their cores a little closer. She wasn't hard but her blood was starting to rush there. Felling the hardening member made the omega let out a chocked moan and a warning “Clarke, the door is open.” 

“So, what?” the alpha raised her head to face the beautiful brunette who was now pumping out aroused pheromones. “ We want the same thing, don't fight it.” she pushed her body in between the woman's legs. Maybe Lexa managed to keep her body under control the other times that Clarke approached her, but now her resolution was faltering. “Let go, Lexa.” after that she rubbed their centres together, and neared her face to the omega's to finally kiss her. Unfortunately the omega recovered from the Clarke's induced haze and pushed her back. “You're 16 Clarke, I'm not some creep who sleeps with teenagers. It's illegal and most of all morally wrong, I won't do something like that just because it feels good.” the omega said while turning around panting and resting her weight on her hands that were positioned on the desk. “I won't change my mind so please stop.”

Lexa was now emitting frustrated pheromones, being torn between what she believed right and what wrong. Clarke was unmoving admiring the woman's resolution, after few moments of stall the alpha hugged the omega from behind caressing with her nose the place she kissed on the woman's neck while purring and pumping out reassuring pheromone. 

“I can't promise you to stop, but I can try if that's what you really want.”

“Yes, please” the omega said keeping her eyes closed.

The alpha released her and turned around, heading to Bellamy's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see something that you think doesn't fit in the fic, makes the charatter occ or grammar mistakes, please let me know in the comments so that I could fix it or explain my choises.  
> Have a nice day:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised another chapter:)  
> I really want to know your opinion about it, so please comment especially on the last part of it! Enjoy!

Clarke slowly walked toward the car trying to find her good mood again. Being rejected by Lexa, again, made her upset. She knew she was pleasant on the eye and she knew the brunette always liked her appearances, that was why her friends called her teacher's pet. That was what pissed her off the most.

She knew that the omega liked to stare at her chest during tests. She would never do it in any evident or creepy way, but Clarke knew it and after she told Raven the rest of her friends soon found out. It was kind of cute that when Clarke found her staring, the omega would soon blush furiously and would start to stare at some sheets on the desk. It always made Clarke smirk.

That was why when the omega brought her home she thought it was because she wanted to satiate her needs. 

She knew now for sure that Lexa had a thing for her, but she couldn't act on it because of her morality, and Clarke couldn't magically change her age. 

It frustrated her endlessly, that affected her mood poorly and right now she couldn't afford it.

She needed to play the happy girl part at Octavia's birthday. She wasn't going to be a shitty friend again and she had to make Wells forgive her. So when she approached the car she sported a huge grin on her face and said “Everybody ready for the party of the year?”

She was met with loud cheers from her friends and a jokingly “You'd be late to your own funeral, Griff” coming from Bellamy. That made her smile and stick out her tongue mockingly toward the other alpha, before hopping in his car. The boy started the car and headed toward his place. Octavia's and Bellamy's mum had to leave at lunch time for some business trip so this year they had the house to party.

….........

Once they arrived at the house Octavia and Raven greeted them with beer bottles, Clarke was pretty sure they where a gift from Raven's mum with the rest of the alcohol bottles inside. Right now only her closest friends were here, everybody except Wells who had to do something for his dad. Clarke's typical luck. The rest of the guests were supposed to arrive around 10 pm and the alpha was informed by Jasper and Monty that Wells would probably arrive with his football buddies then. 

She was already angry because of Lexa and now she'd have to talk to Wells in the middle of a crowd with blasting music, so she thought that she deserved few drinks with her friends to relax before facing the other alpha. 

…......

The group cheerfully chatted while drinking beer and smoking some weed before the piazzas arrived. Octavia ordered 8 pizzas, 4 of those were devoured by the two alphas and the rest were equally shared between the two betas and the two omegas. 

After dinner they set chips, plastic glasses and everything that was needed for the party on some tables in the living room and started the party with some games. At first they played alcoholic Russian roulette, they basically filled some shot glasses with alcohol and some other with juice positioned them over the number board. You had to spin and drink the glass on the number, easy and light, because Bellamy was the one who filled the glasses. He didn't want anybody to get drunk before the actual party. 

Then Raven proposed the King game. Clarke's kryptonite. All of her friends knew that Clarke had a love/hate relationship with that game. She loved it because it always got her drunk and she hated it because she always ended up being Raven's and Octavia's drink buddy and that meant she'd have to drink every time a card was revealed. 

…........

During the game people started to show up, so a small crowd gathered to assist their game, and laugh every time Bellamy pulled out an 8, because Octavia put it as rule that whoever pulled out an 8 had to peck Clarke on the lips. Clarke didn't care much about her partner gender, she liked the person not their attributes, but Bellamy was straight as an arrow and every time he pulled an 8 he huffed, complained and scrunched up his nose before pecking the other alpha who kept teasing him sending kisses his way during the game. 

The game made everybody pretty drunk and it ended with Clarke who pulled out the last king and then drank the concoction that was the king cup. It made the alpha really, really drunk, so Octavia and Raven dragged her out in the back porch with a bottle of water giggling and stumbling everywhere. They seated the alpha in a chair and told her to drink the water and that they'd be back in half an hour to give her the ok to go back to the party. While they were telling her this Clarke kept saying that she wasn't drunk at all and she could keep drinking but it only made the omegas giggle harder before leaving the alpha to sober up. 

While the blonde was sobering up drinking her water and mumbling to herself that she wasn't drunk at all, she was approached by Nyilah. She and the omega girl had a light and fun agreement. 

“Well, I see you're as sober as usual” the omega opened the debate. 

“Don't look so disappointed, everybody knows I'm more fun like this” Clarke answered, giving a charming smile to the omega.

Niylah took a sip of her beer and then smirked “I have to agree.” still smirking the omega sat in her lap “So, are you ready for some real fun?” 

Their noses were almost touching and Clarke was staring in her eyes pensive. She was now choosing between sex and talking to Wells. Few days ago she'd have totally chosen sex but right now she'd have to decline, or better postpone. “How about we have fun later, just an hour or two, I got to talk to Wells first, then I'm all yours.” the alpha smiled drunkenly. 

“Fine for me,” the omega said and pointed to Clarke Wells' position, adding a “make it quick though.” before leaving. The girl smiled and approached his alpha friend. 

She arrived to the group of people where Wells was statíoned. Unfortunately for her he was with the football idiots as the alpha called them. They never liked her because of her sexual orientation. They thought that alphas should only sleep with omegas and female betas. Even if they didn't like her they never voiced it mostly because Wells told them to shut up the first time they tried to say anything bad on her. 

She opened her way in the conversation with a drunk “Ehy guys, do you mind if I steel Wells for a while?” it earned her many glares but still Wells followed her to a more secluded area of the back garden. 

They were now facing each other and Wells said an “So, Clarke what do you want to talk to me about?” the alpha might have been a little drunk, but she was sure that her friend said that in an annoyed tone. Something he never did, especially to Clarke, no matter how bad they had fought. 

“Just wanted to talk to my best friend, no big deal dude.” she stalled, trying to find the courage to apologize. 

Wells snorted and said “Just drunk Clarke wants to talk the her best friend. The sober one loves to run away instead” the boy snarled.

His sarcastic remark didn't help with the alpha's mood, but most of all it surprised her. The boy wasn't the kind of guy who attacked unprovoked. It was weird but Clarke thought that she deserved it, so she ignored it and started her apology “Look Wells I know I acted like a dick in the past few months, but now I really want to make up for all the stupid things I've done.” the blonde gave the other alpha her most sincere look “and I wanted to start with you because you're my best friend. I know I hurt you ok? I know I just hurt you when you were trying to help me, and I'm sorry for that. Please just give me another chance I don't want to keep pretending to be your friend. I want to be your friend.” the alpha smiled at the end of her speech. She wanted to give herself a pat on the shoulder for making a mildly convincing speech without having it prepared before.

She saw Wells eyes soften for a second and then they were back at being hard again. “ You think that a drunken apology is going to make everything ok between us again?” the boy said angrily edging closer to her “You always pull this shit when you're drunk. You punched me twice in the face while I was just trying to help you, and you think that is enough?” he was now facing her with only few inches to separate them. Crowd another alpha personal space was a sign of aggression and Wells knew it, just like he knew that he was making the girl lose her temper. Clarke kept a straight face and said in warning “You need to back off and stop acting like you can't make mistakes.”

She was bewildered by his behavior. The other alpha was often mistaken for a beta boy, because he always acted composed and non-aggressive. 

Wells smirked at her and took another step closer. “Or what? You're gonna hit me while you're trying to apologize?”

Clarke wasn't an easy girl to trick, she knew that Wells was trying to piss her off, so that if she'd hit him she'd prove him right and even if she didn't know the reasons behind his actions she wouldn't let him talk like this to her, that was why she kept her cool. He was nothing compared to Lexa. She was the only one who could manipulate the alpha. 

“No, and I know what you're trying to do, if you think I'm that stupid, maybe you should go get checked 'cause I think you need help.” the blonde knew that Wells hated to be called dumb. He always said that being in the football team didn't make him stupid, like his dad always said, it was also why he only had straight As. 

That comment pissed him off, and made him push her backward “Are you saying I'm stupid?” Wells growled threateningly pumping out aggressive pheromones. She knew she fucked up the moment Wells emitted them, because now she'd have to submit or fight. And Clarke would never submit in front of anybody. “That's exactly what I'm saying, well and if you didn't get it you totally are.” she kept talking, not thinking that Wells would make the first move.

He punched the girl in the face catching her left eye, while she was trying to dodge it. It made her stumble back a little, she was also happy that he didn't get her precisely, or she'd end up with her back on the ground. She positioned herself in the basic defensive pose and took a few steps back. She was really happy that her dad taught her to fight when she was little. Her smart mouth needed some muscles as back up. 

“Are you already running from this fight, Griffin?” Wells snarled, trying to provoke her, while he advanced on her. There was no way in hell that she'd fight Wells in a strength contest. He was twice of her size and twice as strong. She knew she could win this. She'd just have to use his own strength against him. So she waited for the right time and when he tried to punch her again she moved to the side, caught his wrist pushing his body weight forward and took his balance away with a firm kick to the ankle making him fall to the ground on his belly. “I don't really want to hurt you Wells so you'd better stay the fuck down. Understood?” she said pumping out submitting pheromones to make the boy's will bend to her own. Wells groaned rolling on his back trying to catch his breath again, but clearly submitting to the stronger alpha, showing her his neck. 

All of the noise coming from his fall attracted the people in the back yard., that meant that now Bellamy, Octavia and Raven were running toward their position demanding an explanation. Clarke told them what happened while they were helping Wells back on his feet. They gave her a confused look, because she usually was the one to start those fights. She didn't blame them for not believing her right away.

Thankfully Niylah arrived backing up her story, and took her to the kitchen while the others were finding a ride home for Wells. The omega looked for some ice in fridge, and then wrapped it in a cloth before putting it on Clarke's left eye. She smiled at the alpha and said “That was some crazy kung fu moves out there.” 

“It was actually taekwondo.” the blonde answered while smiling. Clarke was leaning on the counter and Nyilah was between her legs, when the omega pushed her body flush against the muscular one of the alpha. “It actually turned me on.” she said sensually “do you want to have some fun now?” the omega took the alpha's lobe between her teeth before grinding onto Clarke. 

That made the girl desire sparkle, so she grabbed the other girl's hips and started to grind in time with her, while kissing her aggressively. 

She wasn't sure for how long they did that before somebody screamed to them to get a room. 

It made Niylah chuckle and rest her head on Clarke's chest. “I think we'd better move.” the alpha said smiling while grabbing the omega's hand to lead her toward the garage. They had sex at parties enough times to know that the bathroom wasn't an option, also at Octavia's, rooms weren't either. If they'd get caught Clarke would end up neutered by her friend. 

As soon as they reached the garage the alpha pushed Niylah toward a table behind the parked car and then ground a little more on her behind while kissing her neck and playing with her breasts.

The omega was now emitting some sinful sound, they were music to the alpha's ears. Maybe it wasn't the right voice to sing for Clarke but she'll make it work for tonight.

One of her hands started to descend toward the omega's centre, she made sure to caress her belly and when she got to her prize she cupped it giving a more powerful push on the girl's rear, so that she could feel it better on her clothed core. The omega moaned loudly and Clarke whispered in her ear “You like that don't you?” before biting her lobe, earning a whimper. 

She kept grinding for a little longer just to drive her parter crazy.

She decided to stop the teasing when Niylah commanded her to get to the real thing. 

She couldn't deny it, she had a thing for authoritarian omegas.

The alpha smiled and pushed her hand underneath the girl's dress, pushing down her underwear, freeing what she wanted the most in that moment. After she got rid of the panties she didn't waste time and started to rub the omega's clit. She started soft and then put more pressure on it, making the girl release another moan, before pushing two digits inside of her. She waited a few moments for the girl to adjust and started a slow rhythm. She kept going before Niylah let her know that she was ready to take her in. 

She opened her jeans button and zip, all she needed was enough space to pull her member out after all.

Then she pulled out a condom from her wallet and wrapped it on her hard cock. Giving it few thrusts with her hand before approaching the omega and pushing her legs apart and ordering her to bend on table. As soon as her order was fallowed she pushed the girl's dress up and started to enter the omega. She went in slow, she knew she was big, her lovers always told her so. 

When she bottomed out she started to pant in Niylah ear, after pushing her front on her back. 

Niylah was breathing irregularly too, and after a few heartbeats, gave her the nod to start. Clarke pushed herself back, grabbed the omega's hips and started a slow and deep pace. The omega was tight, and Clarke loved how Niylah felt wrapped on her, but tonight it seemed to not be enough. 

She ignored that thought and kept her slow rhythm, that the omega loved. She could fell that Niylah was enjoying herself much more than she was. The taller girl was never shy and was always very vocal about her pleasure. After a few more gentle thrusts she realized something was wrong.

The alpha didn't have problems keeping her cock hard. She was having problems with the making it soft again part. 

She started to go faster, and sneaked an hand between the omega's body and the table to pinch her nipple. It made the omega clench a little on her cock, but still Clarke was having problems, she still felt herself far away from orgasm. It never happened before she never had problems coming. She started to panic a little because she didn't know what to do. She'd never leave this garage sporting a full erection in front of all of her school mates. 

She started to fuck the other girl hard and fast keeping one hand on the girls hips, and moving the other to sustain her weight on the table. She could hear the sound of flesh slapping together loudly and Niylah was enjoying herself a lot, she knew that the omega was going to come pretty soon, it also meant that she'd have to pull out, the girl was very sensitive after an orgasm, also Clarke had no idea at how the omega would react to her still hard length. Would she help her out? Or leave her to a match of five against one? 

She didn't know and also didn't want to know. She was getting frustrated, her orgasm was still eluding her. There weren't many things she could do to help herself reaching the edge while having a quickie in a garage. 

That was when she started to think about brown locks, green eyes and tanned skin. The visual of the other omega always helped her during her lonely nights.

It was her last resort.

Not having to face the omega made thinking of Lexa a lot easier for Clarke.

Lexa. 

The simple name of the teacher reverberating through her head made Clarke get closer to come than what Niylah did the entire night. Thinking of the woman made Clarke reach the edge a lot faster than she anticipated, making her knot pop. She started to rub “Lexa”'s clit with two fingers, knowing that she'd come pretty soon and that that would assure the omega's pleasure before hers. 

“Clarke” Niylah moaned “I'm gonna come!” the girl warned Clarke, before starting to clench hard on her hard member. 

The alpha barely heard her, too preoccupied with her thoughts of Lexa, and when the girl started to clench on her she said “Jesus, Lexa, you feel so fucking good.” before thrusting a few more times and coming in the condom. 

She didn't even register what she said and that was why when the omega pushed her off of her, she let out a surprised “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Niylah repeated Clarke's question angrily “You said another girl's name before coming, you dick!” Niylah screamed in her face, before pushing her out of the way “Jesus, you know everybody at school are right, you are an asshole.” she said before gathering her underwear and leaving. 

Clarke tried to stop her by catching her arm, but the omega pushed out of the way rushing out the garage. The blonde threw the condom away and closed her pants defeated, knowing that tonight she had fucked up big time. She also couldn't blame anybody but herself this time. 

The alpha was so mad. She fought with Wells again earlier, she almost ruined Octavia's birthday and now she hurt Niylah. 

She needed an out for her rage, but she couldn't pick another fight with somebody who had done nothing wrong, so in the end she started to punch the wall to hurt herself until her knuckles were bloody and started to feel her hand go numb. She thought she deserved the pain she was enducing to herself as a punishment for her incapability to do one thing right. She felt so powerless in that moment. So vulnerable. That was when her mind played the most sadistic trick on her it could. She thought about the fact that she wanted to run back home to Lexa so that the omega could make it all go away. 

So that she could be wrapped in the woman's love and nonjudgemental arms. 

That was the thing that completely broke her. Nothing was as far as Lexa in that moment. It scared her, making her drop her proud mask, leaving the tender flesh of her heart open in the air.

She started to cry like the child she was feeling right now and slid down in a seated fetal position with her back against the wall, sobbing in her self pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual let me know if something doesn't sound right to you:) Have a nice day!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Sorry for not updating last week but I've been really busy! Also I would like to apologize for not responding to your comments, which I loved, I didn't mostly because I don't want to give you spoiler on the story. I promise you I will answer all of them if you leave some from now on! Without giving spoilers. The a\b\o dynamics involded are explained in the chapter as you read it this time because I have very little time and its already 2am. Also I didn't proof read the last part of the chapter so there could be more mistakes than usual, but I really wanted to publish it because I'm out of town this week end. I hope you enjoy it and hope you'll have a nice day:) One last thing in this chapter I answer to one of guest who question and probably I will answer to the other one in the next chap!

Clarke remained in her position on the floor for quite some time. If it was up to her she would never move again. 

Standing still and breathing were the only things she could manage to accomplish. 

A cathartic state was probably her best decision. She'd lose all of the warmth of the living, but the hurt would stop. 

She'd stop her ravaging parade of sadness. There wouldn't be raw and blistered heart after her passage.

Now she understood addiction. She craved something that'd make her still and numbed everything. 

She'd also sold her first born to have something that'd make the guilt end. 

Because the guilt was what left her feeling impotent and crying on the dirty floor of the garage. 

Miserable and lost. An easy prey for any predator passing by. And a raw receiving soul for any good Samaritan near. 

Whoever found her next could be crucial in the life of the young alpha. 

And it was when, Raven came inside of the garage.

Clarke had pulled her legs up to her chest, with her head between them and her hands had a dead grips on her shins. She was still crying when her friend entered and her sight was a pitiful one.

“Clarke?” the latina girl asked trying to get her attention. “Clarke, what happened?” still no answer.

Clarke was racked from her sobbing it was hard to breath and talk was out of the question. The alpha was hoping to get through this hysterical episode without having to face anybody.  
When she heard her friend's voice she panicked even more making the sobs louder and her breathing more erratic. 

She tried to ignore the brunette hoping that she'd just leave her alone. She should have known it was not the case with Raven. 

The omega approached, bringing her body to the ground and resting her hand gently on Clarke's knees. That made the girl jump and release a terrified gasp. Curling more in herself.

“Clarke, please look at me.” the girl tried to get to the alpha once again “You're having a panic attack, please look at me. You need help to get out of it.” her voice was gentle but firm. The omega must know how to help somebody in that kind of position. The blonde needed guidance to make her breath normal again. 

“You can trust me, please just look at me. I'm not gonna hurt you.” Raven cooed again. “You're gonna pass out if you don't let me help you.” the omega said releasing comforting pheromones and putting an hand under the alpha's chin to make her look at her.

Clarke was in no state to keep denying the help from her friend. The mix between gentle touch, soothing pheromones and the inability of focusing on anything different than the kind command from Raven, made her listen to the older girl. 

She looked up to be faced with a loving smile and calm features. Just that made her feel weirdly a bit more in control of herself. 

“Good girl” the omega said “Now at my three you're gonna inspire through nose, ok? And then you'll expire through your mouth” the alpha nodded frantically, then the raven aired girl proceeded to show her what to do. Clarke fallowed her lead and after a few attempts guided by Raven she started to calm down, still doing the breathing exercises that her friend showed her, while the omega kept telling her how good she was doing. 

After many excruciating minutes the blonde finally calmed down and Raven moved to sit beside her remaining in silence. 

Surprising both of them Clarke spoke first. “Thank you” a simple sentence in which the blonde hopped to convey her infinite gratitude toward her friend. 

The older girl smiled, moving one arm to side hug the alpha, squeezing her a little. “You're welcome sweety.” she said kindly and then asked “Are you gonna tell me what happened with Niylah, in here?” 

“Nothing really” the blonde said lowering her head again.

“Oh, please, I'm not buying that bullshit blondie” the latina huffed. “I saw that chick storming out of here and then you crying so just spill” she added, showing Clarke that she wasn't leaving without an explanation. 

The blonde kept her head low pondering a little more about what she should say, but in the end she simply told her friend the truth.

“I said another girl's name while we were fucking and she told me that I'm a shitty person” 

That earned her a belly laugh from the omega, that actually spilled a few tears with it. 

“Oh come on Rae, that's not funny at all!” Clarke exclaimed shoving her friend playfully while pouting. Her voice was still hoarse from all the crying and the smile bittersweet, but still she was happy to be able to smile so soon. That was the effect Raven had on people.

Raven pretended to lose her balance and laughed a little more before drying her tears. Remaining in an Adonis position. “Oh my god Clarkey you're like the worst.” she said still smiling. “But I don't get why you reacted so bad. I mean it's not the first time you forget the name of the girl you're banging.” the omega said giving her a worried look.

It was true that the alpha missed the names of her one night stands sometimes. She wasn't an asshole, it was just hard to get their names over loud music or remember them after she drank an entire bottle of tequila. But with Nyilah it was different. She imagined a different person underneath her. It was the first time that happened with anybody. It was true that the girl didn't have feelings for her, but she considered the older girl a friend. She didn't want to hurt her.

Also there was the Lexa thing to think about. It was probably what freaked her out the most. 

She was never the kind of person to think of somebody else during a sexual encounter.

She'd never want to devalue somebody like that. She was not a pig headed alpha.

But still she did it the same, and she couldn't find a reason for it. 

She did fancy her teacher and thought of her while masturbating, but that was it. Just a crush. 

Maybe it was the fact that now the omega was a little more real than a fantasy during long sleepless night. It also could have been the fact that she felt something for her. Or that slowly she was becoming her obsession and her saviour all at the same time. She didn't know and she couldn't think about it in that moment because Raven snapped her finger in front of her face, reclaiming all of the alpha attention on her. 

“Are you gonna answer me or what?” the omega asked showing her eagerness. 

The alpha sighed and started her explanation “I don't know, I think it was a mix of the Wells thing and the fact that she told me I'm an asshole” Clarke thought a little before adding the last part, not knowing how much she could share with Raven “and maybe the other girl thing too.”

“What other girl?” the omega asked without missing a beat. 

“The one that is letting me stay at her place” Clarke admitted reluctantly. 

The omega made a shocked face and then smirked. “Are you telling me that the infamous Clarke Griffin's got a bad case of feeling?” 

The alpha blushed and tried to hide her face again answering the other girl “No, I mean, I just, it's not what it looks like. Also it's not how it was with Finn.” she said making Raven lose her grin, but kept talking because she needed somebody to listen to her. “She isn't like him. She just lets me stay there and listens to me. I mean she just want to help me and she never tried to seduce me and I tried to sleep with her. She told me that it's wrong because I'm still underage and that it will never happen. I feel good when I'm with her, and I just want to stay there, close, and make her feel good in retourn. Even if nothing is ever gonna happen between us.” the blonde said smiling shyly to herself. 

Raven watched her and smiled genuinely at her “I'm happy you found somebody like that Clarke. I mean, I'm sorry if little you is not gonna have fun, but damn it looks like you found a good woman that would give you the moon if you asked not wanting anything back.” the omega grinned. 

“It' more like big me, Rae, not little remember.” the alpha scowled, making her friend laugh again.

“Of everything I said you just got the part when I called your cock little you?” she laughed even harder. 

“I just wanted to make sure you knew it was not little. Ask Octavia if you don't believe me.” The alpha smirked at the disgusted and shuddering omega. 

“Please, please, please, stop bringing up the sex between the two of you, I'm begging. I don't wanna remember what I saw that night in my head ever again.” 

Clarke was the one laughing this time, thinking about the one time she and her friend had slept together. A one time thing to get their sexual frustration out of the way. The only one that knew about them was Raven because she busted them, but otherwise nobody knew. She didn't want Bellamy to find out or she'd piss him off too.

“If you never call her little me again, I'll stop.” Clarke smiled and offered her hand to her friend.

“We have a deal but maybe you should wash your hand before I shake it.” the omega said while scrunching up her nose “it's a little... bloodied.” 

“Um yeah right.” the alpha answered remembering what she did to it “Maybe I should go do that before it gets infected.” they both smiled at each other and went toward the house to get rid of all of the grim on the blonde's hands. 

Before they could reach the door Clarke chose to ask Raven for some more of her wisdom “Um, wait I wanted to ask you something else before we go back.” 

“Yeah sure, spill it Clarkey” the omega said smiling again.

“Do you think Octavia is mad at me right now?” the younger girl asked. “Because of what happened with Wells, I mean I didn't ruin the party or whatever?”

“Are you crazy?” the latina grinned at her “Octavia is in ecstasy. She said that this is the party people are gonna talk about for the whole year.” the brunette smiled brightly.

Clarke let out a relieved sigh and “Good, that's great, I can't lose another friend.” she said hoping to convey her regret for everything she did in the look she was giving Raven. 

“Naaa, relax Octavia is fine.” the omega said giving the alpha a pensive glance, fidgeting a little with her hands.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she seemed unsure of Clarke's reaction. 

After Raven saw her break down she was pretty sure there was nothing the two couldn't talk about any more. 

“Talk Reyes, what is it?”

“Well” the brunette started “I don't want to make you angry or anything, it's just that maybe” the omega licked her lips “I don't know, maybe you wanted to talk about Wells. I mean if you're not ready that's fine with me.” probably the omega was still thinking about the time the alpha flipped when they talked about her mum.

“That's fine Rae, I promise.” the blonde said “I really wanted to know what was wrong with him tonight. He's never been so aggressive toward anybody before.” 

“Well Clarkey, you almost made out with the girl who humiliated him in front of him. I think that's kind of a normal reaction for an alpha, no matter how nice he is.”

“What?” the blonde blurted out, now that was news.

The omega scoffed and looked at the blonde confused. “You're joking right?” Clarke didn't know what the other girl was talking about and proceeded to give her a questioning look. “Wait, how could you possibly not know it, the entire school knows about it.” 

“Rae, I have no idea of what you're talking about. I don't listen to gossip.” the alpha said even more confused. 

The omega was bewildered, she was sure Clarke knew, everybody knew, “Ok, Clarke, you live in a different world than ours, so I'll update you on it.” the older girl said seriously “Tell me you at least know that they were seeing each other.” 

The alpha didn't even know about that either, but it kind of made sense because Nyilah told her she was seeing someone last month and paused their arrangement, she answered Raven with a “Kind of.” and an imbarassed smile. She really should start to pay more attention to her surroundings. 

“Jesus, Clarke why do you have to be like this?” Raven moaned exasperated because of her friend “Well anyway, they were seeing each other, it was pretty serious actually, Wells was crazy about her. And you know they were supposed to do it, but you know, Wells had mechanic problems so they never managed. One day they had a huge fight about it in the yard at school, they started to yell at each other and Nyilah broke up with him screaming that he was a pussy and that if he couldn't get it hard she'd find someone else to get her off. From that time, the idiots at school started to make fun of Wells and bully him, you know seeing you and her like that must have triggered his alpha or something.”

Clarke was horrified. She didn't know what to tell her friend. Now she really fucked up with Wells. Now she totally understood why her alpha friend was so mad at her. 

Almost kissing his ex in front him like that and then going to talk to him like there was nothing wrong, was really stupid of her. 

Her actions were screaming “I'm a bigger alpha than you.” Without realizing it she started a challenge with the boy. She was supposed to apologize and help her friend, not make him look weaker and give bullies something more to tease him about. She really was an asshole, an unaware one, but still an asshole. 

“Oh my god I'm a royal asshole.” the alpha said, rested her head on the wall making a soft tud and groaning lightly “How could I not know about it? Jezz, I can't believe it he's going to kill me Monday.”

“I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson tonight.” Raven said rubbing her back with one hand. “Also he shouldn't have started a fight only to show people his alphyness, or whatever. I fell sorry for the guy too, Clarke, but he was kind of an asshole too. He could have dropped it when you went there to apologize.”

“I'm sorry, Rae, but you can't get it. It's an alpha thing, I deserved it.” as soon as the sentence left her mouth she earned a slap on the back of her head and an insult from her omega friend. 

“You alphas are a bunch of idiots, you think people are 'challenging' you if the look you in the eyes for more than 3 seconds, and you always have to act tough, you all need to understand that biology doesn't define us and that you just have to act like adult human being.” the brunette said with a serious look on her face, daring Clarke to contradict her. 

It totally made the alpha want to contradict her more than ever, so she smiled mischievously and said “Well, Ra...” she only started her sentence before Raven slapped her again on the side of her head. “You are not allowed to talk any more 'alpha', now let's go clean your hands and then go to bed.” it was the omega turn to smirk now “You still have detention with the commander tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual if you find any mistakes or you just want to talk about the plot please comment! A thank you to all the people that left kudos too! Let me know what you think of Wells story, good or bad things.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been working like crazy. Anyway I'm on vacation now and I hope to update a few more times before leaving. Thank you very much for leaving kudos and especially for taking the time to leave comment. As usual I hope you enjoy the chapter, it's all clexa.

Clarke was seated in the last row, on the right side of the classroom. Her eyes were staring at her bandaged hands, and avoiding at their best some greens that were trying to cave a hole in her temple.

Her entrance hadn't been one of the best. She slept over, lost the bus and entered the class while the bell was ringing. All sweaty and stinking. 

She was a mess. She didn't shower, she didn't tame her hair and she also didn't have sun glasses to hide her puffy red eyes. Oh yes, and she also had blood on her clothes because of what she did to her hands.

Yep, not the best entry. 

Being almost late to her punishment for being late seemed not enough for her.

What must Lexa be thinking of her?

Obviously nothing good or nice considering the cold murdering glaces she kept sending her. 

Which she was feeling and not seeing, and that was because she was great at avoiding things. If you can't see them they don't exist right? 

Right? 

Nope. Because this time no matter how hard she tried she still felt it and that made her panic. 

It also meant that she was sweating, writhing and possibly emitting pheromones. This lovely mix smelled sour and pungent and wasn't something easy to avoid in a closed room. 

The first and only one, brave or stupid enough, to address the situation was Murphy. 

“Jesus Griffin, keep yourself under control, you smell like sin and regret!” he said smirking “You already stink like a distillery, would you mind keep it under wind and not spread it?” 

Before Clarke could even get the words he said pass through the pounding in her head when a sharp and dry voice interrupted them. It also made the alpha look at the source of it.

“Silence, Murphy!” it said with no room for arguments, “If I hear somebody else talk, I will make sure they get suspended. Understood?” the class nodded afraid that a yes would earn them a suspension and possibly death. “Now do your homework.” the velvety glacial voice said. 

While speaking Lexa stared at her the entire time. Her features were calm but her eyes were a completely different story. 

They were stormy, they promised thunder and lightning to the sailors who dared approach, a sure wreck heading for them. 

And it was heading toward Clarke who hadn't had the time to avoid the storm eye and was now hexed by its beautiful fury. 

“You, as well Griffin.” the infuriated omega commanded. 

“Uhm, I, well you see...” the alpha nervously started to say, passing a hand through her knotted hair “I forgot to bring school stuff, so I don't have any with me.” the brunette looked even more infuriated now, she took the book she was reading and stood, making her way toward the cowering alpha. The blonde was pretty sure she was going to get beat up by the beautiful omega. 

She was hearing the heels clicking on the floor getting closer while she was staring at her hands again. 

The pace was slow and certain. Yep she was sure she was going to be brutally murdered by Lexa in the middle of detention class. 

Instead the omega slammed a book on top of her desk startling her, making her raise her head and look at her with a perplexed expression. 

“You will read this” the teacher ordered “and you will bring me the detailed analysis of it in two weeks. This is the punishment for not bringing your homework with you.” 

Clarke nodded frantically and took the book.

The omega stared at her with her angry eyes a few more seconds, before turning around and sitting at her desk again. 

Hybris. 

That was the title of the book she left.

Now what the fuck did that mean?

…..............................

The rest of detention went as expected. 

Clarke read the book Lexa gave figuring out the meaning was pride. Old Greek stories about humans who kept displaying their greatest source of elation in the face of the gods.

All of them ended being punished for it. 

The young alpha found it quite ironic that Lexa gave her a book about pride. 

Especially after last night. It was her pride that made her humiliate her friend. 

Her incapability to step out of a fight, to show the world her superiority over someone else.

The show of her strength.

It was true that she might have lost a friend, but without her pride what was left of her?

A young teenage alpha lost in a world too big for her. What happened after Niylah left was the apotheosis of her insecurities. 

She was asking herself how she could keep her pride without being alone. Was it even a possible feat? 

She didn't find the answer to her questions during detention, as while she was thinking about it the bell rang. With the sound of freedom came the beautiful cold voice she longed to make warm again. 

“Griffin, stay behind. I need to talk to you.”

“Good luck with the commander, princess.” Murphy whispered sarcastically next to her, before running out of the class after he received a murderous glance from Lexa. 

Clarke stayed in her spot seated waiting for the omega to speak. The brunette said it herself she needed to talk to her after all. 

After many minutes of awkward silence and a staring contest the woman still refused to speak, she only gave the alpha this steely unwavering look with rage enclosed in it.

The only thing the alpha was focusing on was not to divert her eyes. 

Their dynamics were upside down. 

The omega should be the one to cower in front of the alpha. Still Clarke was the one who was struggling to maintain eye contact.

This omega emitted only power from her. It was weird how the alpha found it both arousing and terrifying. She wondered how much of a fight the omega would make before finally submitting to her and taking her knot.

Lexa looked like the kind of woman who loved to defy her alpha in bed, that needed to be kept down during a fuck. Clarke loved that kind of omegas. 

Unfortunately this omega has already told her no, her thoughts were pointless, so she decided to break this pregnant silence. 

She cleared her throat before speaking. “So, what did you wanted to talk to me?”

“Nothing” the brunette answered coldly. 

“Well, why am I still here, then?” she asked passing her hand nervously through her hair only to have it stuck in it. That gesture was meant to make her release a little of her nerves, not to add more to them. 

“Because you're coming home.” the brunette answered keeping her stoic features and voice the same. 

“I can't I have to go to work later.” Clarke raised her voice in surprise and offense, Lexa knew she had to go to work later, still she was indirectly commanding her to not go. 

“No, you won't.” the brunette clearly ordered her. 

The command irated the alpha.

“You can't control me Lexa!” the blonde roared standing abruptly, letting out a tsunami of aggression toward the omega. Those kind of pheromones she was pushing out were the kind that would make anyone drop to their knees. 

They hit their prey making it fell the pressure of a thousand horses charging, the weight of a tonne over their chest, they made the target unable to control their breathing, dropping them in a state of anxiety, the bull eye felt the need to fallow instruction and the only to way to rid of all this was to submit. The teacher was supposed to do that. 

Instead she seemed unaffected. No. she seemed irked, angry just as much as the alpha. 

Just like her the omega raised fast from her chair. “I can, and you will do as requested. You know the consequences.” Lexa said raising her voice a little trying to contain a snarl that twisted her beautiful features. 

The brunette was emitting sour pheromones. The kind that would warn anybody of the danger she represented. That dumbfounded Clarke. Many were unaware of the fact that some omegas ere able to even produce that kind of pheromones. It was rare for those soft beautiful creatures to pump out willingly such an aggression. In fact it was only in moments of extreme danger that a normal omega would emit them. Some didn't even have this capability at all.

Lexa kept staring at the astonished alpha a few more moments before taking a deep breath to calm herself down and school both her expression and her pheromones. 

She clasped back in place her stoic facade, and said with an even tone. “I'll wait for you outside. If you don't come out soon enough I'll leave you alone forever.”

After that she started her trek toward the car.

The omegas actions angered Clarke even more. 

The alpha gripped her table shaking angrily. 

Why did everybody around her wanted her to sacrifice a piece of her dignity for them?

She let out a roar full of wrath. 

Why did they have to take everything from her?

She threw the table to the ground. 

Why did they think they were entitled to teach her how to live her life?

She started pacing. 

Did they really need to kick her, when she was already on the ground?

She brushed her hair from her face back angrily.

Couldn't they just give her something? 

She rubbed her temples trying to calm her breath. 

Why they couldn't they understand?

Why couldn't they show that they cared?

Why was she the only one that needed to prove it?

Why couldn't they open their door for her?

Why couldn't anybody love her?

She started to growl and pace even faster. The angry voice in her head was screaming making all of the sounds around her dull.

She started to breath like Raven taught her the previous night. 

It looked like the start of another panic attack.

It seemed they always started with uncontrollable anger for her. 

Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.

She kept going until the angry voice subsided in her head. She felt empty and alone without the rage to keep her company.

She glanced outside the window and saw that Lexa was waiting outside for her like she promised.  
She was lighting up a cigarette. Something that didn't affiliate with her character much at all.

Clarke found herself entranced by the sight in front of her.

The omega was such a beautiful paradox.

The kind of sporty lifestyle she was fallowing were the exact opposite of the sight in front of her.

Her being an omega the complete contrary of her strong alpha personality.

Her soft velvety voice was a conflict with the words that left her mouth.

The way she spoke, cold and detached, were the complete opposite of what she showed with her action. Of what she did for Clarke.

And that she herd it. The timid soft voice in her head, that kept saying over and over again the same thing like a mantra. 

She did. She opened her door for you. 

She gave everything to you. 

Without even thinking her feet knew what her heart wanted, and it wanted to bask in the light of Lexa's warmth.

She realized she didn't care if she'd have to give up a little of her pride to get it. 

So as soon as she reached the car she hopped in showing the omega exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about this, and if you find grammar mistakes. Have a nice day.:)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody the new chapter is here! It is mostly Clexa!  
> I hope you enjoy it! And as usual let me know what you think about it and if you see any grammar mistakes! Enjoy!

The travel back at Lexa's place was uneventful. The awkward silence stretched even after their arrival. The brunette was still royally pissed off. 

The only thing she said to Clarke before disappearing was “I have work to do, do not disturb me unless you need something important.” after that she locked herself in her room and didn't come out for a very long time.

It left Clarke with nothing to do. Free time was something she was no longer used to have. Since she left her home she always had to look out for money and a place to stay. Now she needed something to fill the time and she had no idea of what she could possibly do.

Leaving the house was not an option. She already angered the omega, she didn't want to be murdered in her sleep. 

She realized she was grounded. Something that never happened to her. 

That thought made her laugh. Now she knew how Octavia felt. The girl was a magnet for trouble, she also wasn't subtle and her mum ended up finding out all of the stunts she pulled. 

Maybe she could ask Octavia for a piece of advice about what she should do to make time go faster. 

She slumped on the couch and grabbed her phone. 

That made her remember that she still had to call her manager, Harper to let her know she couldn't make it to work. 

As soon she was done with that task she opened the group chat, and texted her friends. 

Princessa: Guys, I need help!!!!

BellBoy: What is it princess? Everything ok?

RavenJay: U ok?

OctaviaTheGrounder: What's up?

Princessa: I think I just got grounded guys. I don't know what to do! I can't leave the house! I need help!

RavenJay: ahahahahah! OMG u got grounded! I can't believe it!this is one of the funniest thing I ever heard! 

Princessa: Not funny Rae!

OctaviatheGrounder: How could you be grounded if you're still using your phone? 

BellBoy: How could you be grounded if you're living on your own? 

Clarke grimaced, she forgot she didn't tell Bellamy about her new life arrangement.

RavenJay: I'll fill u up, Bell!

Raven said before she started to explain him everything about where Clarke was staying.   
Without forgetting to mention Clarke's failed attempt to hit on the woman.

BellBoy: Oh ok! Got it!

BellBoy: You're so horny Clarkey!!! Poor chick! 

OctaviaTheGrounder: I still don't get how she manages to be so horny all of the time! 

RavenJay: Agree! U'r the one who gets laid the most among all of us!

BellBoy: They're right C, I mean even for alpha you're over the top!

Princessa: Shut it Bell! you're just like me!

OctaviaTheGrounder: Stop, I don't want to know about it!

RavenJay: U sure u don't wanna know O? I got some fun stories about him!

OctaviaTheGrounder: ahhhhhhhhhh! No, please don't! 

OctaviaTheGrounder: Just focus on C's problem, please!

BellBoy: She's right think about helping Clarke!

RavenJay: U'r no fun guys, anyway, u could do ur homework Clarkey!

Princessa: I just got out of detention, I've done already too much homework for today!

OctaviaTheGrounder: You didn't have school stuff with you when you left the house, don't lie!

Princessa: I'm not lying! The commander gave me more homework when she found out I didn't have my stuff with me.

BellBoy: Ohh poor Clarkey! 

Princessa: Fuck you Bellamy!

OctaviaTheGrounder: Go take a warm bath dude! That's the only thing I can do when I'm grounded! 

RavenJay: Or just a shower! I'm pretty sure u still hadn't clean urself since last night!

BellBoy: You're so gross! Go shower right now!

Princessa: I already told you Bell, GO FUCK YOURSELF! 

BellBoy: I'll do that when you shower!

OctaviaTheGrounder: He's right C, you're gross! I can smell you all the way down to my place! 

RavenJay: Yeah me too!

They were right Clarke was still stinking. She was smelling so much she could smell it herself.  
She really needed a shower.

Jazzpetto: Yeah we can smell it too!

GreenMonty: Yep, go shower! 

Princessa: Uhhh! I hate you all guys! I'm done texting with you all!

After that she threw her phone on the coffee table and went to finally take that needed shower. 

….................

Taking a shower turned out to be not an easy task with her hands conditions. Removing the bandages was torture. She ended up opening her wounds again and making a mess in the perfectly clean bathroom. 

Clarke groaned because now she had to clean it too. 

She cleaned it as fast as she could and entered the shower. 

The warm flow of the shower felt amazing on her aching hands. 

It felt so good to feel it on her tired muscles. 

Last night hadn't been easy on her body at all. She was still stressed by its events, both mentally and physically. 

First she dedicated herself to untie the knots in her hair and then to wash it.

She then scrubbed her body removing some of the sourness she was feeling in her muscles, except on a particular spot that seemed to need more attention. 

She grabbed her semi erected cock in her hand, giving it a few thrust to wake it completely from its slumber. 

The friction made her moan and her pheromones floated in the steamy air of the bathroom. Her thought flew directly to the brunette working on the side of the hallway. 

She thought about continuing her movements for many moments. 

If she kept going the omega would find out, her pheromones and the prolonged time she was spending locked in the room were an easy give away. 

She wasn't ashamed of pleasuring herself, she was ashamed of her incapability to accept a no from the beautiful omega. 

Dinner was going to be awkward on its on, she couldn't add that too. She'd have to wait until the woman's morning run. 

Wound up and still hard Clarke proceeded to dry herself and wear a loose pair of boxer and a tank top. Her favorite sleep clothes.

She left the stinking clothes in laundry basket to wash them later. 

When she reached the kitchen again she realized it was almost dinner time. 

She thought about making some dinner for the brunette to get back in her good graces again but she couldn't cook at all. Burning down her house was not a good idea considering that she was already in her black list. 

She opted to order Japanese take out. She thought Lexa would like it considering the fact she found chopstick around more than once. 

As soon as the food arrived she proceeded to place it on two plates and then moving to call the woman. 

Considering the fact that she didn't come out from her room not even once she was pretty sure the brunette wanted to skip dinner. 

She was sorry for being the reason the teacher felt she needed to hide in her own room. She never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. Especially in her house. 

She took a deep breath and the knocked on the door. 

The soft voice of the woman told her to come in. 

It was the first time she'd have a look at the omega room and she was excited and scared by it. 

Taking another breath of Lexa untainted air she opened the door. 

The beautiful strength of the brunette's scent was the first thing that hit her. It smelled so good and strong that Clarke felt her knees go weak. 

There was just one place where the scent was stronger, and it was in the crook of the omega's neck. 

The alpha salivated at the memory of when she was blessed to smell it from there.

She was so lost in the reminiscence, that the brunette had to clear her throat and ask her what she needed. 

“Oh, uhm, I wanted to tell that I ordered some food if you wanted to eat.” the alpha smiled shyly. 

The omega smiled faintly at her from her position seated at her desk. She was at least recognizing her attempt at peace.

“Of course Clarke.” she said standing up, signaling at the alpha to lead the way. 

As soon as Lexa stood the blonde found out that she wearing her pjs, that consisted in a tank top and very short shorts. The woman's outfit made her very happy.

The dinner was minefield full of awkward moments but at least they were both trying to act civil toward each other. 

When both of them finished to eat Lexa proceeded to clean their plates and put them back in their rightful place. 

Clarke tried to tell her she'd take care of it, but the omega was adamant, if the alpha had purchased  
dinner she'd at least clean the table. 

When she was done with the plates she said “Thank you, you didn't need to buy dinner for me too.” looking sincere. 

The alpha beamed at her and answered “It was not a problem I promise. I just wanted to do something nice for you, after all you do for me.”

Clarke wasn't expecting a murderous glance directed toward her after her answer. A shy smile or a nod were her aim not what was coming next. 

“You need to stop doing that.” the brunette said angered. 

“What do you mean?” the blonde said standing up from her seat. “Why are you getting mad? I did something nice for you.” she approached the woman.

The teacher kept looking at her angrily “Yes, you need to stop doing that! And you need to stop coming back smelling like....” the brunette looked uncertain, like she didn't know if she should finish her sentence “Fuck!” she said exasperated “This is pointless, just forget it.” she finished turning around to go back in her room. 

Clarke was shocked but she wanted to finish this conversation, she didn't want to keep walking on eggs shell for as long as she stayed at the brunette's. 

“Stop, Lexa you need to tell me what is wrong, I can't keep staying here like this.” she said starting to chase after the beautiful omega. “We have to tell each other when something is bothering us about the other or this will never work!” 

She was took by surprise from what the woman did next. Lexa turned around effectively pinning her on the wall. The omega positioned her hands one on each side of the alpha's head, while molding her body to Clarke's. The alpha was pinned to the wall keeping her hand attached to it. Her eyes pointed on the floor.

She didn't want to make the brunette more feral than what she already was, unfortunately the teacher didn't agree with her and moved her head searching for the alpha's blue eyes. 

As soon as they connected the blonde wasn't able to look away anymore. Her eyes were like a cataclysm, the destruction force she was emitting from them was something that made the blonde shiver to her core, but like any other tragedy she never managed to divert her eyes. 

“Do you really want to know what is bothering me, Clarke?” the omega snarled in her face “You do. You're fucking confusing. One day you try to get in my pants and the next you come back smelling like another omega.” Clarke was panting just like Lexa because of the pheromones the omega was washing her with. 

They smelled like sex. Like the rough kind. Nothing nice or anything else. The message they send were one and only one, I want to fuck you until you pass out. Ride you until you can't stand from the bed. 

“Then you act like this, so fucking nice I can't help but to want you more.” the woman kept her rant.   
“You're driving me fucking crazy. I can't stand it. I didn't want you to leave today because I was fucking jealous!” the omega moved as if she was leaning to kiss her, Clarke fallowed her movements chasing after her lips. Lexa didn't let it happen instead she run away from it and pushed gently Clarke's head back resting her forehead on hers.

They stood there breathing each other in for what seemed to be hours, looking into each others eyes. 

When Clarke felt Lexa was moving back she found the courage to remove her hands from the wall and put them around the omega in an unwavering dead grip to keep her still. 

She also found the courage to speak “I wanted her to be you” the brunette kept looking at her with a mix of disdain and lust in her eyes. The alpha took another deep breath and kept talking. “I thought of you the whole time, I couldn't help it, I want you too Lexa. We can do it, nobody has to know. I promise I won't tell anybody.” Clarke was in a haze she was completely lost in what was Lexa, she didn't know if she was emitting pheromones, she didn't know anything other than how the omega felt pressed on her body. 

The brunette was torn, Clarke was sure of it. She couldn't imagine how hard it had to be for Lexa. The brunette looked like a righteous woman, to her morality meant everything, it wasn't just that she was risking, she was risking her freedom too. She might have already broke some laws taking Clarke in but nothing that would risk everything she had. 

The alpha couldn't take the silence anymore she needed an answer so she asked for it.

“Lexa, please say something, please.” she begged. 

The omega looked still deep in her thoughts. She observed the alpha a few more seconds, before leaning down to kiss her. 

At first it was just a touch of the lips, soft and tender. 

Clarke was already addicted and she couldn't leave it at just that, so she gripped the woman's neck bringing her back to her lips. She pressed more forcefully and bit on the omega's bottom lip to coax her to open her mouth to let the alpha explore it. 

The brunette obliged moaning. The blonde slid her tongue in her mouth making contact with the omega's. As soon as they touched they started caressing each other, playing the dangerous game of the cat and the mouse. 

Lexa's tongue was timid and sometime tried to escape Clarke's retreating back in the security of her home with the weak excuse to change the angle. But it always came back to tease the alpha merciless.

It was the exact opposite of the girl's that kept attacking and insinuating deep in her mouth relentlessly. 

The blonde didn't know if she loved or hated this game. She found the woman infuriating. 

She couldn't take it much longer so she decided to take control. 

When Lexa started another timid attack she grabbed her tongue with her teeth and sucked hard on it,   
It elicited a loud moan from the brunette that pressed her body harder on the blonde's, who was already gone. 

Hearing that sinful sound from her teacher made her alpha break from her cage. 

She grabbed the woman turning around and pinning her on the wall. She started to kiss her languidly taking complete control of the kiss forcing the brunette to keep her pace and stop playing games. She also started to grind on her realizing she was already hard like a rock, grabbing her leg to expose Lexa's heat to her. 

The woman underneath her was a mess whimpering and shivering, while she moved her hands in the blondes thick mane. 

That forced the young girl to separate her mouth from the omega's to free herself of a loud moan while the omega attached her lips on her neck. Her hair was a weak spot for her. If somebody touched it even with the purest intention they would turn the alpha in a sex beast.

And it did exactly that. Clarke now had one thing in mind and only one, penetration.

She needed to be buried inside of her omega in this seconds, so she started to fumble with the woman's waistband trying to push it down the toned legs. She released the leg she was holding on for dear life to help her other hand in the task. When she managed to push it down enough to have the space needed she got rid of her boxers. She grabbed the woman's leg again to expose her most intimate parts to her, aligning her throbbing cock to the glistering warmth. 

As soon as she started to press her length to finally be buried inside Lexa, she felt the brunette push at her shoulder commanding her silently to back away from her. 

Clarke moved her eyes away from what she wanted the most to meet the brunette's eyes trying to make her understand her confusion with only her look. She wasn't able to talk. 

Thankfully Lexa understood. “Clarke, stop, please” the beautiful woman begged “We can't do it, we both know it is wrong.”

The alpha moved her glance from her eyes to where they were almost joined, She was so close, all she needed to do to finally be tied to her omega was push. Her hips were trembling from the effort to refrain herself. She was so close to ecstasy she could almost feel it. All she needed to do was to let her alpha take control of her again. It would just push all of her length inside. She was almost giving up her control and taking her omega, when Lexa whined loudly her name. 

It made Clarke slip back in control. She would never hurt Lexa, not mentally or physically.   
She removed herself from between her omega's legs but didn't move her body away from the brunette, hugging her and inhaling the sweet scent Lexa was still emitting. Her woman's body wanted her, it was her mind that couldn't accept that leap.

“You did good, Clarke” Lexa praised her sensing her uneasiness. Emitting calming pheromones and running her hands soothingly on the expanse of the girl's back. Almost the entire alpha population would never remove themselves from such a situation. The blonde had showed she had an immense self control. 

“Could you please, just hold me tonight? I want to just be close to you Lexa.” the blonde asked to her omega.

“Yes, Clarke, I can do that.” she said bringing the blonde's head to her level so that their eyes could meet. “You did really good.” she said again stroking the girl's cheek. “Let's go to sleep.” she said before pulling her pants and Clarke's back in place and leading the blonde in her room with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts you wanna share?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Clexa! kind of :) I hope you enjoy the new entry:)  
> A warning this chapter is full of grammatical mistakes because it was a pain in the ass to write,

Sleep didn't come easy that night. Lexa walked her to her room and got in the bed, patting the space next to her to signal to the alpha to get there with a soft smile on her lips.

Clarke moved her glance back and fort from the spot on the bed to the brunette a few moments before finally deciding to join her omega on the bed. She crawled on the bed bypassing the soft mattress to lay atop Lexa instead. 

She put her torso on top of woman's with one of her legs in between hers and the other laying on the soft sheets. Her head flew without thought to the crook of the brunette's neck.

The woman beneath her stiffened at the first touch of their bodies, she sighed her name a bit defeated. As if she already knew that Clarke was not going to lay on the bed no matter what she said. And she was right. 

She started to kiss the brunette's neck bringing the hand that was not carrying her weight to caress one of her smooth cheek. She started to pour out soothing pheromones in a desperate attempt to calm their feverish bodies. 

The omega did the same, starting to rub circles on the strong back of the alpha. 

It was almost impossible to forget about the blonde's hard length between their bodies, and the wet clothed folds that were grazing the blonde's leg. 

“Clarke” the omega whispered in the still silence of the night “I don't think this is working.”

Their minds were seeking rest while their bodies activity. The struggle lighting a waking fire between them. 

The alpha took her time to answer running her nose up and down the column of her neck inhaling as much of the sweet scent she could to ground the words floating in her head.

“Just give it time, Lexa.” she whispered stopping her movements to let her lips caress her ear.

The brunette turned her head, to lock their eyes together before nodding. She wondered if her eyes were a mirror for hers, hooded for the lack of release. 

She never moved her gaze while running one of her hands over the omega's side under the tank top conquering new portion of the tanned skin. The woman did the same with her back slowly savoring every inch of it. 

They were both comforting each other for their incapability to let the other have what was craved. 

They preyed for their touch to learn the ability of pouring in the other the calming essence they were forcing their glands to make against their bodies wishes. 

The battle seemed at a stall, but it was true time was the only thing needed to get their starved minds access the oblivion they desperately demanded.

…...............

The hard music blasting from the omega's alarm clock gave a brutal awakening to the inhabitant of the bed.

Clarke woke up disoriented by the moving weight over her that was desperately trying to turn off that devilish machine. 

The alpha was shocked to find herself lying beneath the omega. That woman managed to take control even in her slumber. It brought an amused smile to her face. 

While she was smiling to herself with her eyes still closed the brunette completed her task and tried to resume her position on top of the alpha. Unfortunately her thigh met, a little too roughly, the sore resident of the blonde's boxers. 

The contact made the alpha hiss in both pain and pleasure, sprinting from her position to a seated one to cradle her most loved part of the body.

The sudden movement scared the woman who was now straddling her leg “Oh my god, Clarke what's wrong?” she asked resting one of her hand on the blonde's shoulder. 

“Nothing” the alpha said with a pained voice “it's just, you kind of.....” she huffed annoyed because of the awkward situation “nevermind.”

“What is it?” the brunette inquired again trying to make her meet her eyes. “What did I do?”  
she asked again.

“Well, you see” the student said embarrassed “you bumped with your leg on my...” she tried to find a better word other than cock in her mind but couldn't “on me and you know its kind of sore because, I mean, you know” the blonde let out a nervous chuckle “I mean you know why.” 

She found it quite ironic to not be able to talk about her member to the woman she almost fucked the night before. 

Lexa looked confused and stared at her eyes for a few seconds before realization dawned on her. 

“Oh.” she said “Oh, I understand” she said moving off of Clarke. 

“I usually don't react like this, I swear, its just that after last night and then sleeping with you..” the girl rumbled. 

“Clarke, it's fine I get it.” the woman stopped her awkward rant “you don't need to be embarrassed. It's only natural, ok?” she smiled an understanding smile.

The alpha nodded at her, she didn't even know why she was acting like an hiper sensitive pup. Well, she knew why she was acting like that, because the woman in front of her made her so hard it hurt. 

“I'm going to go for a run so that you...” the brunette awkwardly tried to pull herself out of the conversation “so, that you can take care of it?”

Did she really had to phrase the sentence like that? Clarke asked to herself.

“No, sorry” the brunette said running an hand through her hair “I'm just going to run. See you later.” she said before grabbing her running gears and leaving the house as soon as she could. 

The blonde let out a frustrated growl when she heard the front door close, slumping her head back on the pillows. 

She shoved her in her boxers to assert the damages Lexa has made to her cock the previous night. 

She was hard like a rock with a fully formed knot equally hard. Even touching it gently hurt a little.

She huffed in annoyance. She'd have to take care of it or it'll just get worse. 

She gripped herself starting to massage it slowly and gently. She was so sensitive. She gave it a few pump and moaned in a mix of pain and pleasure. Being surrounded by the brunette's scent didn't help much. It actually made her cock harder. 

She thought about continuing her ministration on the woman's bed, but soon decided against it. She didn't want to make the room stink of her release even if Lexa deserve a little of torture after her teasing. 

She stood from the bed and went to gather what she needed to take a shower. 

She was walking slow because of how tight her balls were. She'd probably walk funny for a day or two. 

Stepping under the warm spurt of the shower felt amazing, the gentle flood of water on her hard member was exactly what she needed. She hugged it with her hand and started to tug slowly at it.

She started to think of what would Lexa do if she were here. 

She'd probably place herself behind Clarke, run her hands slowly down the alpha's abs until she reached her big cock. 

The alpha moaned at the thought. 

She'd grip it in her soft hand, she would slowly start to massage the angry knot at the base, giving it the attention it craved. Then she'd use the other hand to grip the member and start pumping it slowly. The alpha was sure that the brunette would be gentle with her given her current condition. 

She would do that for a while keeping the pumping steady, alternating the other hand between massaging her balls and her knot. The girl hummed, she loved when her partners gave enough attention to her balls too, especially if they were giving her a blow job. She'd bet all of her possessions that the woman would remember about them if she were to give her one. 

She changed her fantasy, biting her lip and starting to think about the teacher on her knees in front of her. 

Lexa would tease her sucking and licking at her shaft before taking it into her mouth, massaging her balls all the while, she was sure of it. 

The thought made her buck her hip into her hand. 

She'd take it agonizingly slow, she'd lap at her head first, then she'd take it inch by inch staring all the while in the blonde's eyes. She'd force Clarke to grab her head and push herself in.

“Jesus” the alpha moaned thinking about the omega. She was already close she could feel it. So she thought about Lexa standing from her kneeling position and letting the blonde push her on the walls of the shower, assuming the same position they were in last night.

The alpha started to recall how wet the omega was for her last night, how ready she was to be fucked and knotted. 

How tight her pussy was. 

“ahhh” Clarke moaned moving her hand faster on her throbbing cock.

She remembered how good it felt to be opening up her tight ring of muscles at the entrance, even if it was just a little. She'd bet that the omega would scream in pleasure at that. 

She'd go slow letting the woman adjust to her girth. She'd pump inside of her slowly, repaying her for all the teasing she performed before. She'd make the brunette beg for her cock. And then she'd grip her hips keeping her still, to start pound merciless into her. And when she'd feel the brunette start to clench around her she'd knot her with one push. 

“Fuck” Clarke moaned massaging her knot and pumping even faster with her hand. Thinking about sinking her knot in the omega made her come like nothing before. She kept thrusting into her own hand to make sure she'd release everything that had been locked inside of her. She went slowly riding her aftershocks to prolong the orgasm, emptying herself in the drain. 

The lack of sleep combined to one of her best self given orgasm made her feel pretty spent. She thought about going back to sleep in the woman's bed but she decided against it. Now she had the freedom to roam around the brunette's house undisturbed. 

She went to grab her last clean pair of loose boxer from her room, it consisted in white cotton, dotted with hearts of different shapes. 

They were a gift from Octavia and Raven, They said they were the perfect mansion for her lady loving bits. Idiots, Clarke thought to herself.

Instead of grabbing a tank top she chose to wear a sport bra so that she could leave her abs in full display for the brunette to admire. 

….................

The alpha was left alone for the first time in the omega's territory. She had a whole house to discover, little pieces of information on the woman she craved to know. 

The first thing she learned about the brunette's was that she loved order. It wasn't something that surprised her, she already understood it with a glance to the teacher's clothes. They were always perfectly ironed, it looked like Lexa's worst enemy were creases. 

Her house was just like her clothes, spotless, everything had a place and everything was in the right place. The furnishing was minimal, the smart kind that left plenty of space to move around. It was full of sharp edges and clean lines a little like her personality.

Nothing seemed to speak much of the omega, except of a wall full of pictures and her degree in English. 

It soon became Clarke's target and she started to study it.

The first one portrayed a man in military attire holding an infant who was pulling his beard. The man had tears in his eyes and a huge grin on his face, it almost looked like it was the first time he was holding the beautiful creature he made. 

The blonde thought the two in the image were Lexa and her father.

From that photo the alpha realized from were the omega took her stiff and commanding ways, she was a soldier's kid. She must have been raised strictly. She hoped her dad was still alive, she'd never want the woman to experience the same trauma she had.

The next picture she contemplated showed a younger and smiling version of Lexa between a stern looking dark woman and the immense bearded man from the first picture, they both had an arm around her. This must have been a family picture.

The omega looked carefree and happy, like she had nothing to worry about. It also looked like she felt comfortable with her parents and that the both of them were full of pride for their little one. That picture brought a smile to Clarke's lips. She was happy that the woman had what she had lost. Before her dad died her family was just like that, she was just like that. She also noted that she was an only child just like her. 

The next few images were pictures of the woman and her friends during high school. Nothing that got Clarke's attention. 

Then she saw the ones that belonged to college. The first ones didn't tell much to the alpha just like the ones before, but pretty soon she found herself staring at an image that portrayed Lexa hugged from behind by a beautiful asian girl. That was a picture of the omega with her girlfriend.

The girl had beautiful almond eyes and silk black hair, she was resting her head on the brunette shoulder. 

That damn photo sparkled a fire of jealousy inside of her. She found herself hating the girl hugging her omega with all of her heart.

After too many picture of the woman with the mysterious brunette, for the blonde's liking, the graduation picture arrived. It portrayed Lexa standing proud with the degree on the wall. 

Clarke felt her heart swell with pride at her woman's accomplishment. She was so proud of her. She felt the need to run down the street and stop random people and show them how amazing her omega was. 

Before she could do that she moved to look at the next picture. If she kept looking at that one she'd surely run down. The next photos surprised Clarke. She always thought that the brunette started to teach right after her college graduation, she didn't expect to see the woman dressed in battle attire in the middle of a group of bulky strong men with guns clutched to their chest. The only difference between her and the others in the picture was that Lexa was holding a camera as her weapon.

So before being a teacher the brunette was a journalist. The kind that risked her life to report the news about the soldier back to the states. That send a shiver of fear down the blonde's spine. She could never imagine how hard it must have been for the asian brunette she saw in the picture before. Her hate toward her lessened. It mustn't have been easy loving a distant and reckless Lexa.

With her heart still heavy with worry for a time long gone the alpha moved her gaze to a new picture, this one painted a perfectly shaved laughing teenage boy being attacked by a teenage blonde asian girl. The two seemed to be fighting over the couch while the brunette from few pictures back was trying to separate them.

Lexa must have been the one to take that picture. This brought a smile to her face, but also confusion to her mind. How did the two teenagers fit into the lives of a young couple?

Because they appeared again in the following pictures. One was showing the two on a Christmas morning opening presents, The blonde asian had tears in her eyes while the boy was making fun of her. Another one was a picture of the four of them smiling in front of the statue of liberty. 

There were a few more with them and the asian brunette doing different things and then there was a photo with only the two teenagers dressed in dark tuxedos and stoic faces.

After that picture the asian brunette stopped to be on the wall. The white surface then showed their graduation, same year, and the first one or two years at Polis college. Sometimes Lexa would appear with them on the photos, but no sign of the other woman. She felt bad to feel released that she was no longer in her omega's life. She hoped it was just because they broke up. 

Before she managed to finish studying the entire wall she heard the shuffle of keys in the door. 

She approached the sound, readying herself to greet the brunette. 

When the door finally slung open she was hit in the face with the realization that it was not the brunette she wanted that was entering the apartment, instead it was a much, much bigger version of the boy in the pictures.

He seemed startled to be greeted by blonde locks instead of brown. 

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked getting out of his stupor and into aggressive setting,

Shit an alpha. 

“Wait!” Clarke said raising her hands in a surrender manner “I can explain!” trying to show him she was not a treat. 

“Like hell you can!” he answered, before jumping on the blonde alpha twisting one of her arms behind her back and then throwing her on the ground to accommodate his weight on her back.

“I'm calling the cops, you fucking weirdo.” he said fumbling to reach his cellphone in his pocket.

The blonde was struggling to get free under his weight not making that action easy for him. 

“Get off of me, bastard!” she screamed still struggling “I live here!” 

“I don't believe you!” he answered trying to reach the phone that fell on the ground because of the girl's struggle. 

The air between them was full of aggression. They were both pouring out their strongest submissive pheromones in an attempt to make the other stop to struggle. 

They found themselves in a stall when the boy realized he couldn't reach the phone without letting go of the girl, and the blonde couldn't get him off her back. 

None of them willing to submit to the other. 

It was then that the right brunette decided to enter the flat. Clarke has never been happier to hear her angry voice. 

“Lincoln, what the fuck are you doing!” she exclaimed “get off of her now!”

The boy seemed startled by the woman's order and the blonde alpha took it as her cue to free her arm and push herself up on both of her hands, making the guy lose her balance and finally pushing him off of her. 

Lincoln ended up crushing with the back of the sofa, so Clarke managed to find the time to stand up. The guy challenged her and she was not going to let this go. Especially because he made her seem look in front of the omega she wanted. Nobody could do that and think to be able to walk again after. 

She started to charge at him. She effectively plated him throwing him on his back and straddling him. She started to land punch after punch on his forearms that came up to protect his face from her fists. 

She was rabid, seeing red because of the rage and the embarrass to be found pinned under somebody else by her omega. She would have killed him if Lexa didn't come to his rescue. 

The omega managed to throw her down on her back and grab her arms, that were pushing to get free of her hold. 

The woman put them in an x position over the blonde's chest putting all of her weight on them. 

The blonde kept struggling to get free and continue her fight with the other alpha. 

“Clarke” the brunette tried to reach her “Clarke! Stop, please stop!” she said pleading to the girl to calm down. 

“I'm gonna kill him I swear!” she roared “let go of me, now Lexa!” 

“No Clarke! Please stop! He didn't know about you, it's not his fault!” she pleaded again. 

“I don' fucking care!” she snarled in the omega's face. 

The brunette managed to hold both of her wrists with one hand, using the other to grab her face to make the alpha look at her.

When their eyes met the teacher said “You don't need to fight to prove anything. I don't think you're weak.” she said with all the sincerity she could muster. 

The blonde struggled less but her breathing remained erratic. 

“I wasn't going to attack him.” she said in an apologizing tone “He didn't even give me the time to explain myself, Lexa.” her eyes filled with tears. 

The young alpha seemed to have calmed down from her anger, but now she was entering a state of panic and regret.

“I believe you Clarke.” the omega said, showing her neck to let the alpha smell her soothing pheromones from the source. 

When the blonde raised her head to put her nose on the woman's neck she caught a glimpse of the boy. He was clutching the kitchen counter with one hand, the other was covering his nose. He seemed petrified by the scene unfolding in front of him. 

She cut him out of her thoughts as fast as she could. She couldn't care less about him when Lexa was showing her neck to her. She took many deep breath of the earthy scent the woman was pumping out just for her. When her breath started to be kind of regular again the brunette said “I'm going to let of your hands now, ok?” and then did as she said. 

As soon as her hands were free the alpha made one of them flew to the back of the omega's neck. 

She brought the woman closer to her forcing her to rest her weight on top of her.

“Clarke, I'm not going anywhere.” she whined. 

“I'm just making sure of it, now relax.” she ordered. 

She was happy that Lexa fallowed her order right away. She didn't know if she did it because she didn't want to pose as a threat or because she was starting to trust her. She liked to think it was the latest. 

The boy in the kitchen left them more than enough time to calm down before clearing his throat. 

“We have to get up, Clarke.” the omega whispered. 

“Fine” the girl growled, before letting her go. 

As soon as she stood up she realized that the guy had closed the front door and had already bandaged his former bleeding nose. The alpha managed to get a few good punches before he took his arms up, she smirked to herself upon discovering that piece of news. 

“Clarke, this is Lincoln. Lincoln this is Clarke.” the omega said as introduction.

“Nice to meet you.” the boy said not believing to his words, stretching out his hand, signaling to the other alpha that he wanted to shake hers.

Clarke glared at him and didn't shake his hand “Nice nose.” was all that she said. 

Lincoln smirked at her mischievously and answered “Nice boxers, pup.” lowering his hand. 

The blonde growled in fake annoyance, saying “Fucking boxers.” under her breath. 

She declared she was going to get changed before turning around toward her room cursing Raven and Octavia for being idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual let me know what you think about it and if you find grammar mistakes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Sorry for the delay, but finally I finished the chapter! I really wanted to update one last time before leaving for my trip. I'm going to stay away for a week so I won't be able to update for as long as I stay away. I finished this chap in a rush, so there are a lot of grammatical mistakes. Also I think I have found a beta, so if you're patient enough she'll manage to correct all of the story chapters :) So if you fell like it say a thank you to biancalovesbz1!!!! as usual I hope you enjoy!

Clarke went to her room to put on a tank top and sweatpants. She changed her boxers to a pair of tight ones. She liked to wear the loose ones only to sleep. 

Resurfacing from the room she heard the final part of conversation that, she pretty sure, was not meant for her to hear.

"Look, I know you think you can handle her, but she could end up hurting you for real Lex." Lincoln said "what if you're the next target of one of her rage episodes."

Lexa was sending murderous glances toward him but before she could speak Clarke did. 

"I would never hurt, Lexa." she said, hurt from what the other alpha said. 

The duo seemed startled from her voice. 

Lincoln looked at her sheepishly he obviously didn't want her to hear him. 

“I know it, Clarke.” Lexa said in a steady voice, looking softly ate her.

“Look” the boy started his speech “I'm sure you'd never do it intentionally, but what if you go crazy like you did with me earlier? What if you do that when there's no one else here to get you off of her?” he said looking concerned about the omega's well being. 

“You're the one who attacked me earlier” the blonde answered starting to get angry. 

“That is true” the older alpha conceded “but what you did after Lexa walked in was not self defense.” he said standing his ground. 

“I can take care of myself. This conversation is pointless Lincoln.” the omega said trying to stop the conversation. 

“Yes Lex, I know you can, but what if she manages pin you down.” the boy countered. “I couldn't throw her off, you think you can manage?” 

“I said I won't do that.” the blonde growled clenching her fists at her sides. “This is pointless.”

“Listen, I'm sure you're a good kid, Clarke, or Lexa would have never took you in, but tell me truth now, if Lexa didn't stop you what would have happened?” 

The younger alpha was petrified. Everyone in the room knew that she wouldn't have stopped. That she wouldn't have stopped until he was lying unmoving on the floor. 

“It's useless to dwell on the ifs” Lexa came to her rescue “it didn't happen, so please drop it.” 

The two of them started a staring contest. And the boy seemed to be the one losing. 

“Fine” he finally gave in “but don't think that Anya will be as comprehensive as me. She's gonna throw a fit for sure.”

Lexa groaned at his statement, as he laughed.

“Who's Anya?” the blonde asked. She was annoyed because the guy knew more about her omega than her. She wanted to show the brunette that she was the right alpha for her, even if she didn't know what Lincoln was for her.

“Well, well well.” the boy said making a fake pensive face “Where do I begin to explain the person of Anya?” he then, asked, himself.

“She's Lincoln's siter.” Lexa said, stopping his sharade before hand. 

The boy pouted, and exclaimed “She is not my sister!”

“You might not be blood related, but she is.” the omega said teasing the him.

“No, I will never accept that” he said shaking his head.

The woman laughed while the girl looked at them confused. She didn't get an answer to her question. And still she didn't know who this alpha was. From their interaction she could see they were close, but in which way? It was obvious they were not lover.

The alpha was happy to know at least this. Friends? It was weird to befriend a college guy for an adult like Lexa. Maybe he was some sort of nephew? Nope, she was an only child, Clarke was pretty sure of that. It frustrated her, not knowing who he was.

“Why are you here now, anyway?” the teacher's voice said pulling her out of her thoughts. “You were supposed to be her with Anya late in the afternoon.”

“Anya kicked me out of our dorm room last night, she was still busy this morning so I decided to come here early and spend the whole day with you!” the boy said wiggling his eyebrows. “Aren't you happy I'm here?” he added pouting. 

“I am Lincoln I promise, it's just that a call before wouldn't be a bad idea.” she said. 

“Sorry about that, I didn't think I'd find a new occupant.” he said smiling at Clarke.

The blonde alpha found the older alpha weird. She almost broke his nose, and he didn't seem to hold a grudge against her.

He still had doubts about her, but he kept trying to charm her with his boyish charisma. 

What the fuck was wrong with him? The girl thought to herself. 

“Touché” Lexa said “Anyway would the two of you like to out for brunch? I haven't eaten, yet.”

“Why did you go running without eating?” the boy asked puzzled. 

“I...I forgot.” the omega said stealing a glance to Clarke while her ears where tinging pink. 

Now, that was something that the younger alpha knew on Lexa and he didn't, she smirked thinking they were even for now. 

“You're weird Lex” he laughed “I'm in I didn't have breakfast.” 

“Yeah, me too.” the blonde stated. 

“Great” the woman said “I'll go shower and then we can go.”

…........................

After the omega left the two alpha fell in an uncomfortable silence. The didn't know what to say to the other, even if Clarke had tons of question she was not going to break the silence. 

It was kind of a passive aggressive game of power. First one to break the silence looses. And the blonde alpha was not a loser, so she'd keep her mouth shout until the other guy spoke or until Lexa resurfaced from the bathroom. 

Before the omega could break what the alpha thought would be a permanent silence, Lincoln spoke. 

“So, how did you meet Lexa?” he asked in an unsure tone.

It was a weird tone to get out of his mouth. He seemed like the kind of guy who was always confident, the girl was happy to be able to shake his strong personality. 

“I'm one of her students.” she answered dryly. 

The older alpha nodded at her. She thought about leaving the conversation at just that, but curiosity was eating her alive, so she asked what she wanted to know since she saw him on the pictures. 

“Who are you?”

“I'm Lincoln.” the boy answered confused. The blonde knew that, and she thought about answering that with something like 'I know that already, smartass.' but she chose the polite road. The guy was trying to be nice so she should too. 

“Yeah I know that.” she said “What I wanted to know is who are you for Lexa?”

“Oh!” the guy exclaimed as if Clarke reveiled him where the holy Graal was. “I'm like..” he looked a little pensive before finishing his sentence.”I'm like her son.”

“What?” the blonde alpha asked. She found that hard to believe considering that the omega was 10 years top older than him. 

“I mean not biologically, but more like her adopted son or something” he said being unsure of his answer “I mean she never adopted me, but I lived with her and Costia until I finished high school, she also wanted to pay for college so I consider myself a little like their son.” 

“So you're going to college with her money?” Clarke asked showing worry on her features. She didn't want people to take advance of Lexa in any way possible. And if he was she was going to kick his ass for real.

“No, no, relax dude!” he said putting up his hand “I have a scholarship for sport.” he pointed his thumb toward him “Track runner.”

“Uhm, cool, that's cool” the girls said happy because of his answer “And who is Costia?” she wanted to know everything she could on the omega, even it meant getting the answers out of his... spiritual(?) son.

“Well you see,” he said looking as if he was pain “she was Lexa's mate. She was like another mom to me. To us.” he said lowering his head, as if keeping it high was too hard.

“You mean for you and this Anya girl?” she inquired.

“Yeah” he said stoically. 

“Where is she now?” Clarke asked greedy for his knowledge of her omega. 

“Uhm, she di...” the boy cleared his throat, after it cracked under the weight of his words “she died” he finished simply. 

“Oh” the blonde started “I'm sorry” she said. It was all she could muster. She didn't want to think about her woman's suffering. A fading biting mark was like an open wound for both the soul and the body. She experienced it with her mother. She didn't manage to get out of the bed for weeks after her dad's death.

“It's ok.” the boy said, still trying to not shed tears “It happened 2 years ago. I should be over it.” he explained defeated. 

“No” the girl said “You shouldn't. Everybody needs different time for grieve. Sometimes you never get over it.” she finished her statement, thinking about her dad. If there was something she knew, it was grieve. All the people around her kept saying that the only thing she needed was time to get over it, but it wasn't true. She waited and waited but time didn't help. She still felt like her old man died the previous day even after almost 2 years have passed. 

He looked at her as if he knew. His look resembled a little the one that her omega used to give her when she felt with her something sad. It showed sorrow, but also solace in finding another soul able to understand that pain. It didn't make you feel alone in this harsh world. 

The young alpha smiled at him. Maybe she could find a friend in him after all, he was a good man.

…..................

As soon as the brunette was out of the bathroom they left for brunch. Conversation with Lincoln was good, the boy seemed to know what say always. It was kind of funny that Lexa kept her glasses on the whole time she ate, and spend most of the time looking around as if someone from school would pop out any moment. They went to a restaurant 45 minutes away from town. It was almost impossible to find somebody they knew here. 

They left the place happy and with a full belly. On their way back home the boy started to pout and beg the omega to buy him an ice cream too. He looked like Lexa's spoiled child. 

The teacher easily gave in. It was so funny for Clarke to see who she was used to call Commander indulge to the wishes of a way too big baby. 

The blonde realized soon enough that he loved to be in the spot light. He loved to receive attentions, especially from Lexa. He reminded her of Octavia. 

As soon as the alphas entered in possession of their treat Lincoln pointed his thumb toward the omega and declared she was going to pay for them at cashier, before bolting out of the shop, dragging Clarke with him.

The younger alpha almost snorted when she heard the brunette whisper “Idiot” to herself while they were going out. 

They were waiting for the brunette to join them when the girl heard two familiar voices. “Clarkey!” they said at the same time. 

“Shit” she whispered, before saying “Hey girls, what's up?” 

Lincoln looked intrigued by the interaction. 

“No biggie” Raven said checking the boy out shamelessly, just like Octavia was doing.

“I thought you were grounded.” the older brunette said, while the younger asked “Who is your friend?” smiling provocatively at him. 

“I'm Lincoln.” he said sticking out his hand to shake the omegas'. He gave to them both of them his best smile.

As soon as the introduction were done, Lexa reemerged from the ice cream shop. Clarke saw her freeze when she realized with who the two alphas were talking. She looked around as if she trying to find an escape root, but before she could start to run the boy shouted “Hey, Lex we're here!”

If the shades weren't hiding her eyes Clarke was sure she would have read panic in them.

Her friends turned around spotting the Commander and looking surprised to see her. 

The older omega composed herself and walked toward the group greeting the two new entry, with a cold voice “Reyes, Blake.” she said nodding to the both of them. 

They were receiving any other students treatment from the woman.

“Miss Woods.” the duo greeted their teacher, before looking at the blonde alpha confused as why she was spending time with her. 

She shrugged telling them with her eyes that she would explain it to them later. 

It was weird how the three of them managed to communicate with only looks, but they did from the first time they talked. 

“So, Clarke” the boy said grinning “Why were you grounded?”

The blonde alpha was pretty sure he caught up about the situation, and he was now torturing both her and Lexa. 

Before answering she gave him a murderous glance “I came home too late so my mum got angry.”

She couldn't say anything about the truth in front of any of them. All of the people in the small group knew bits of what her situation was. The only one that knew the whole truth was the blushing omega. 

The two of them knew why she ended up 'grounded'. Because Lexa was jealous. She loved to see the embarrass on her omega's face for being so possessive of her. And she loved to see that her little ears were crimson red because of it. 

“Oh” the older alpha said “Is that it? You're not gonna spill the juicy details?” he teased her. 

“No” she said annoyed by his childish behaviour.

“I can do that if you want” Octavia said smirking “She's a party animal!”

Raven chuckled before whistling to show her support to her friend. 

“What about you?” the boy said flirting with the omega unabashed. 

Clarke was pretty sure she saw the omega roll her eyes even behind her sun glasses. As if it was something typical for him. 

“Well, there's only one way to find out about it.” the shorter omega said flirting back, after she glanced at a stoic uncaring Lexa. 

“And how do I do that?” he said biting his lip.

“And that is something I don't want to know so stop answering, Blake.” the older woman ordered stopping their flirting “I'm leaving, if you don't want to walk back home you better fallow. See you in class Blake, Reyes and party animal.” she bid her goodbyes to the girls turning around not waiting for their answer. 

The younger alpha blushed furiously while her friends laughed at her. They managed to embarrass her twice in a day. Thank you very much assholes.

“Don't really wanna walk, sorry girls, see you around.” the other alpha said sending an apologetic smile especially toward Clarke before fallowing the omega. 

Fucking asshole, Clarke thought to herself. 

“So who was the hottie Clarkey?” Octavia asked. 

“I don't really know, I just met him.”

“So you're telling me you came here to get ice cream all alone and then started to talk to a random guy that was with the Commander for no reason?” Raven said wanting to know, why her alpha friend was with their teacher. 

Why couldn't Raven focus on the hot guy like Octavia? 

“No I was just walking by, when I met the Commander I said hello, we started to talk and then she bought me the ice cream, end of the story.” Clarke said wishing she was a better liar. 

“You managed to have a conversation with the Commander? How is that possible?” The shorter brunette asked “If I didn't hear her speeches in class I would say she only knows monosyllables.”

“Yeah” Raven agreed with her.

“Uhm I talked to the guy mostly” the alpha said “And it's not true, Miss Woods talks with normal length words.” she cringed at how she phrased her sentence. She was trying to be subtle in defending her omega from her friends, but didn't seem to be making a good job. 

“What the fuck was that Griffin?” Octavia asked laughing her ass off.

“Normal length words? Is that even a thing?” the other omega asked laughing too.

“Assholes” she told them “It's a thing yes, I'm making it a thing, now.” they laughed even harder.

If they were making fun of her at least they weren't talking about Lexa. She took it as a win.

“Please Clarke, go do English in college! I'm sure you'll be the next generation poet!” Raven said still laughing. 

“Ahahah, very funny.” the alpha said in the best unamused voice she could muster. “Can you drop it now?”

“Yeah, yeah Griff we'll stop.” Octavia said drying her tears. 

“Yeah sure” the other part of the duo said “Fell like coming at Monty's?” 

The blonde thought about it for a few seconds before agreeing “Yeah sure, but I have to get back home for dinner.” 

She was not going to miss the arrival of this infamous Anya. If she was anything like Lincoln, she was pretty sure they'd go along together very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about the story :) I'm very happy to know it! as usual if you see grammar mistakes let me know:) have a nice day:)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about it as usual:) especially on the end:) sometime I feel like at the end of the chap I rush things just wanna make sure it did not happen :) have a nice day:)

She went with her friends at Monty's. There she had to go through an interrogation from both Raven and Octavia. The younger girl wanted to know everything about Lincoln and the Latina wanted to know why she was eating ice cream with one of their teacher. 

As soon as she satisfied the need of information of the younger Blake, she started to ask questions about the same topic as Raven. 

“I met her there, we started to talk and she bought me ice cream. Why can't you believe me?” the alpha whined. She had given the same explanation to the omegas over and over again but still they didn't seem satisfied with it. 

“That's because the Commander hates everybody!” the shorter brunette exclaimed.

“Yeah, when she sees us she pretends not to, so she doesn't have to say hi to us!” the other brunette said to support the other.

“Maybe, it's because she hates the two of you.” the blonde reasoned “You always make noise during every class. This could be the reason why she never waves at you.”

“Naa, I mean I'm a good guy but she does that with me too sometimes, or simply nods.” Bellamy intervened “she never bought me ice cream.” he said pouting. 

Why couldn't he mind his own business? Clarke thought.

The guy loved gossip more than the two omegas.

“Don't you have somewhere else to be?” the girl alpha asked, glaring at him.

“Nope.” the boy smirked at her “I also need to know everything I can on my little sis' new crush so I can scare them away before they try anything.” 

“You're so annoying” Octavia said, glaring at him.

“I'd love to see you try to scare Lincoln away.” Raven snickered.

“I could scare anyone away.” the boy said confident “I'm top alpha.”

That statement made Raven and Clarke erupt into laughter, while Octavia shook her head. 

“I wanna be there too when he tries.” the blonde said between laughs. “For now I'll just go grab another beer.” the girl disentangled herself from the conversation.

She wouldn't have to lie anymore like that. She went into the kitchen to look for her drink and take a minute to herself. 

“Hey, you!” the younger omega said to make the alpha's attention shift from the window to her “We haven't talked just us in ages.” she smiled kindly to her. 

“Yeah you're right.” the blonde agreed, sighing. 

It was true. They didn't have a real talk in a very long time. It's not like she was trying to actively avoid her, it was just hard to talk to her sometimes. 

Octavia was a stubborn omega. And they often didn't see eye to eye over things and the both of them would never let the other win an argument.

She still remembers how hard it was to get pass what happened with Finn. They both needed sometime apart from the other, it was hard to not agree, but accept the other's way of thinking. 

“So...” the omega started “You know, Raven told me what happened with Niylah after the party, and that you were sorry for the Wells' thing.”

It wasn't surprising to Clarke. She, Octavia and Raven always told everything to each other. 

“Yeah” the alpha answered lowering her head “I didn't want to ruin your party.”

“It's fine Clarke” the brunette smirked at her, as if she was about to say something mischievous “Everybody is gonna talk about it for ages at school! And I never liked Wells so I don't care.” she said shrugging. 

The alpha chuckled “You and your weird obsession with popularity.” she said shaking her head.

“What? It's not weird!” the brunette said pretending to be offended “Everybody needs to know I'm the queen!” she pumped out her chest. “And it's not like Bellamy's top alpha thing, it's just the truth.” 

The alpha laughed again. “Whatever you say O.” she said compliant. 

“You're not a good liar blondie.” she groaned. 

“You should be happy about it.” she said smiling.

“We are no worries.” the brunette chuckled “It's only annoying when you don't want to tell the truth but we all know you're lying.” she said with an accusatory look on her face. 

It was true the alpha couldn't lie. She also hated to lie. 

But this time she had to think about Lexa's well being before hers.

She understood from the interrogation that her friends put her through that they had made some connection between the teacher and the woman that was accommodating her.

She wanted to tell the truth about what was going on in her life to them, but she couldn't. She could never hurt her omega. 

“I can't tell you the truth O.” the blonde answered after a few moments of silence “This isn't just about me anymore. Please trust me.”

“I want to trust you, we all want to trust you, Clarke.” the omega said sincere “but we care for you and we know that yours is a shitty situation, but we worry. We don't want you to get in troubles.”

“I know guys, don't worry.” the blonde said moving a hand through her hair “I promise you, I can't tell you what is going on. But everything is fine.” 

They stare in each others eyes for a few heartbeats, they were both challenging the other to see if they would back down. In the end it was Octavia who let Clarke win this one.

“Fine” she said, moving her hands up in a sign of surrender “Just be careful ok?”

“Promise.” the alpha said beaming at her and offering her pinkie finger to her friend. 

“I'm not doing pinkie finger promise with you, Clarke. How old are you?” the omega asked narrowing her eyes and shaking her head. 

“Ass.” the alpha answered feigning offense. 

The brunette stuck out her tongue and then said “Let's go back to the others, pup.”

…...........................

The rest of the time she spent at Monty's went greatly. The other stopped asking her questions about Lexa after she promised them she'd be careful. 

After that Monty and Jasper came back from outside where they were smoking a joint and started a conversation about the fact that time didn't exist and it was just an invention of a stupid guy. 

After that she excused herself from her friends who booed her and told her there was a falò at the lake if she wanted to go later in the evening and that she'd find all of them there.

Octavia told her to bring Lincoln and Bellamy faked to gag behind the couch. 

She waved them all goodbye and left to take the bus toward Lexa's apartment, she said she'd think about going.

When she reached the building she realized she didn't have the keys and she'd have to ring the bell to get inside what she was now referring to as her house.

“Who is it?” came a female voice she didn't recognize from the intercom. 

“Umh, it's Clarke” she answered hoping she'd pressed the right button. 

“Who the fuck is Clarke?” the voice asked annoyed to somebody in the house. 

She heard some shuffling, as if they where fighting for the control of the device until she finally heard Lexa's voice that was letting her know she could come in, opening the entrance. 

When she reached the flat floor, a little breathless she entered. 

She was met by Lexa and the blonde asian girl from the pictures having a glaring contest.

The girl was an alpha as well, and Clarke found her smell revolting. She smelled like musk, strong and pungent. Clarke hated that smell, even now that she was not emitting aggression but was firmly showing that she would not back down, she was making the younger alpha want to throw up. 

Even when she met Lincoln that was showing full aggression she didn't feel the strong need to make him leave her den as soon as she could. 

“Hey, Clarke.” the boy greeted her from the couch. He was kneeling on the soft pillows with his head leaning on his arm that was resting on the back of the piece of furniture. His features seemed concerned.

He must have sensed the young alpha distress, or he saw it written on her face and was now trying to make her focus on something else. 

“Hi, Lincoln.” the girl answered, happy to have that distraction. 

The two women were still staring in each others eyes not bothering to listen to what was going on around them. 

She felt the need to intervene. The asian girl was challenging her omega. It was as if she was challenging her, as if she wanted to fight Clarke's will making her omega submit to her. 

She needed to protect her omega. Her animal side was screaming that at her, while her logical part was begging her talk to Lincoln and let her omega handle this. 

“How are you doing?” he asked trying to get her attention.

It was not working. The alpha wasn't good at listening to logic in this situations. 

She didn't even bother to answer him and went to take place between the two.

She put Lexa behind her.

“Back off.” she growled to the other girl. That was now staring at her as if she wanted to kill her. 

“Fuck off” the taller alpha growled in response, taking a step closer to her. 

Clarke did not see it coming. This alpha was a lot taller than her and was now towering over her. 

But the girl had butted head with many other alphas before and made sure to not show her surprise at that. 

“Drop it! The both of you.” Lexa said trying to get away from behind the shorter alpha, that was keeping her in place. Her order fell over deft ears. The both of them kept staring at each other waiting for the other to make a wrong move and start a fight. 

“Clarke, let me go!” the omega ordered from behind her. The girl was keeping an iron grip on her forearm so that she wouldn't get in the middle of the two alphas. 

“Let her go.” the taller blonde growled.

“I'll do that when you back off.” the younger girl growled back.

“If you don't let her go right now, I will hurt.” the asian girl promised. 

Before she could even answer she saw Lincoln move behind the blonde and grab her. She couldn't see what was happening, because Lexa chose that exact same time to do the same with her. 

She felt the arm she was holding hug her waist, then the omega turned them around and pushed her toward the isle of the kitchen. 

“Let go of my arm right now, Clarke!” the brunette snarled in her ear, as soon as she managed to trap the alpha between the front of her body and the isle.

The blonde did as she was told. Lexa was livid. 

“I'm sorry Le..” she started to apologize but was soon cut off from the omega's harsh words. 

“I've had enough of your apologies.” the brunette hissed “You need to stop thinking with your cock and start using your head instead!” she commanded “Do you understand?”

Clarke's alpha wanted to tell her she couldn't control her and start to struggle to get out of that position. But fortunately for once her logical part won. 

The struggle could have hurt Lexa, the woman that was only trying to help her. 

She already hit Lincoln, somebody she considered as a son and now she tried to start a fight with the girl she considered a daughter.

What the fuck was wrong with her?

She needed to calm down and do something right for once. For Lexa. 

So she started to breath slowly and calmed down, pumping out submissive pheromones to her omega.

“I do.” she said answering to the teacher. 

“Good” the brunette whispered before she rubbed her nose on the alpha's gland, as if she was asking for more of the sweet scent.

Clarke obliged to her omega's wishes and pumped out more pheromones. They made the brunette's tone down to a sweet scent as well, opposite to the threatening one she was emitting a few seconds ago. 

The woman let out an appreciative hum and pushed her front harder on the strong back of the alpha, before trailing her nails on Clarke's abdomen from left to right, slowly.

Clarke let out a sigh of pleasure because of the woman's action, unfortunately for her it was over way to soon and Lexa detached herself from her as if she was burnt when she didn't find more supple flesh to ignite. 

The alpha took a deep breath to calm down before turning around and seeing that their actions went unnoticed by the other two still struggling alphas.

Lincoln was holding at the best of his abilities the struggling blonde. 

They were facing the wall now. The boy managed to turn her for 90 degrees more or less. 

The bold alpha was trying to do the same thing Lexa did with her, but it looked like the other girl was though. 

A shiver run down her spine. If Lincoln couldn't manage to take her down, what would have happened to her if they fought?

Even if she'd managed to win she would have probably ended up in the hospital.

When she saw Lexa approach her fearlessly she took a step closer. She'd never let anybody hurt her.

Lincoln tried to put the other alpha in a straighter position. He must have seen Lexa getting closer to talk to her. 

Clarke was getting apprehensive, and took another step closer. She stayed out of the other blonde alpha visual to not make her more feral but close enough to jump in the struggle if needed.

As soon as the older blonde was within the brunette's reach her hands flew to cup the girl's face.

“Anya, you need to stop.” she said sternly “There is no threat here, it's just Lincoln.” 

The blonde stared in the omega's eyes as if looking for some answers. 

It looked like she didn't find any and started to struggle again less vigorously. 

The omega managed to grab her face again “Anya! You're safe.” she said tenderly this time emitting the soft loving pheromones that Clarke loved. “Nobody wants to hurt you, ok?” 

The asian girl started to calm down, it seemed as if she was taking control of her body again. 

The scene unfolding in front of the younger alpha unleashed in her an empty feeling. She felt her heart crush under tons of weight. She wanted to stop her omega, she wanted to be the only one to receive that kind of attention. She craved to be the one and only. 

She started to feel hate toward the other blonde alpha. She could not let anybody steal her omega's attention. 

She even considered to throw another fit to get it back, but restrained from it. 

The brunette just told her to stop thinking with her dick. 

She'd have to take it back in different ways. Even if getting angry was the fastest way to catch her attention it was also the wrong way she realized. 

If she did that she would always be considered a pup from the omega. Somebody unable to control her urges, somebody she could not trust as a person and would have to care for. She couldn't let the woman start to consider her like Lincoln or Anya, if something like that happened she'd never get a chance at being something more, she'd always be considered as a pup. 

She'd have to show her she was fit for the position of a mate. She'd have to show her that her age was just a number and that she was mature enough to be her mate. She'd grow up, she'd do it for Lexa. She'd do it to have a chance with her.

“Lincoln is going to let you go now, don't do anything stupid.” Lexa's sweet voice said to the older alpha girl, it also made Clarke snap out of her thoughts. 

Anya nodded and Lincoln freed her. The brunette kept cupping her face which annoyed the younger alpha endlessly.

Her omega smiled at the blonde alpha before hugging her.

She hated that sight even more than the previous one. 

She started to pace trying to swallow down the bile rising in her mouth. She wanted to throw the older alpha as far as she could form the inviting arms of her omega. Her omega. She was the one supposed to be in her arms and no one else. 

Her animalistic side was screaming at her to get rid of the other alpha and remind the woman that she was hers. 

Its voice was loud reverberating inside her skull, making all of the other sounds numb. 

Her jaw was clenching blocking the roar that wanted its way out. 

Her heart was burning because of its denied release. 

Alpha were not supposed to be denied, it was instinct. No matter how much society tried to block this kind of behavior some still didn't have enough self control. 

Clarke was one of them, she was not used to deny her feelings a voice, and was now losing the battle against her alpha. 

“You need to walk away.” Lincoln steady voice intervened to soothe the screams in her head. “Come on, fallow me.”

He led the way to the roof. 

As soon as they reached it Clarke freed the earthshaking howl trapped in her lungs. 

The boy had to put his hands over his ears to block the sound. 

“She can't do that.” she said on the brick of tears. Her voice shaking with unshed emotions. 

“She can't touch her she is mine.” 

“Mine.” she said through gritted teeth. 

The boy stayed quiet while the young alpha ranted out her rage incoherently. 

“I cannot stand by and watch that dog touch her.” she started to pace again.

“She is mine!” she roared to the city lights. 

It took her over half an hour to regain control over herself and face the boy who witnessed her feeling for Lexa being released for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from now on all the chapters are going to be betaed:)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody:) Sorry for the delay but I don't know why the last two chapters didn't come out the way I wanted and took me a lot of rewriting:( anyway from now on I'm going to write mostly Clexa alone time, finally:D And Lexa will talk about her connection with Lincoln and Anya too:)
> 
> Last thing, something about the world of the story. In this omegas have 4 heats every year and when the fourth one arrives they can't take suppressant, because if they use the pills for too long they could end up sterile or they could have health problems.

On the roof the air was still.

Lincoln did not dare to speak and the wind did not dare to blow.

Clarke was seated on the floor, looking in the distance.

She let out her rage with the screaming and pacing, but the weight that threatened to crush her heart was still there.

Her hatred toward Anya still present.

The itch in her hands remaining.

Walking away from this fight was supposed to be the high road.

This was supposed to make her feel superior.

Then why was she feeling like the loser? Like the weak one. 

She felt like she was not strong enough to take her omega back from another alpha. After all, right now Anya was the one with her.

Even just thinking about the other alpha name made her blood boil.

Facing her again would test her new born self-control, but staying on the roof forever was not an option, no matter how much she wished it would be.

She took one last clean breath of fresh air and stood up.

It was time for her to face life like the young adult she should be.

“Thank you,” she addressed the boy who was leaning on the wall near the door.

“You don't need to thank me,” he said, “I didn't want to witness another senseless fight. I've seen enough of those to last me a life time.”

She turned around to face him.

He looked stoic, with his jaw clenched and deep brown eyes staring in the distance, behind the younger alpha.

“We should get back inside,” she suggested.

His eyes moved to meet hers. 

His features turning even more serious, if possible.

“We should talk before that,” he said dryly.

He expressed it as a suggestion, but Clarke knew it was an order.

“As you wish,” she answered, hoping to mirror his stance.

She didn't know how he managed to claim all of the attention to himself, without letting out his aggression.

Without submitting his audience's will to his own.

People simply listened to his words, just like they did with Lexa's.

“You shouldn't stay with Lexa anymore,” he said.

“You're not the one who decides it,” she said back to him, trying and failing to not growl.

“You're right. I'm not the one who takes that decision, but I can influence Lexa.”

“I told you I would never hurt her,” Clarke repeated again to him.

“I got it the first time you said it. But so far you have only proved the opposite.”

“I walked away from the fight. I didn't throw Anya off her. I'm trying!”

Lincoln expression softened after that. He could see that Clarke was trying.

“I see that you're trying, but after what I just witnessed do you think I'll be able to sleep at night,” he sighed. “That I could leave her alone with somebody who wants to kno-...with you,” he said, shaking his head while gesturing to her.

“I would never do something against her will! I get it that I gave you the wrong impression, but I swear I'm trying and she can protect herself, if I'd lose control, but I won't. I would never,” Clarke rambled. “You saw it yourself when she tells me to stop, I do. I can stop. I know I can.” the girl looked in his eyes determined. She knew she could stop. She stopped the night before when Lexa asked her to. 

Lincoln seemed torn. The blonde thought it could be because he could see that she was trying and that everything she said was true. But he still had some concerns.

“Yeah, but if she gets into heat? And if you get into rut?” he said, trying to make her understand his point of view, “If she gets into heat, she won't be able to calm you down. She might be an irregular omega, but she works just the same into heat, and you truly think you'd be able to walk away from that?”

“No,” the younger alpha answered truthfully. She turned her head not wanting to show the boy that she was ashamed by that.

She licked her lips and thought a few moments before answering. She knew that she had to be careful with her answer.

“But there are suppressants and she doesn't look like the kind of person that gets caught with her pants down.”

“No, she isn't,” he agreed, “But her fourth heat is nearing and she can't take them.”

“Shit,” Clarke cursed.

“Shit, shit, shit!” the alpha said again, pacing a little and throwing her blonde locks back away from her face.

If they'd get caught unprepared, she'd end up knotting her omega. She'd knot her repeatedly for a whole week.

Her alpha jumped up exited by the prospect.

While her animalistic side was celebrating the news in her head, her logical part had to think of a way to not let that happen.

She hated to have to think of a plan to restrain herself from what she wanted the most.

“Shit,” she growled again. “I can leave until it ends. I don't know. I'll stay in a hotel or something. I can find enough money to do that,” she said. It seemed as if each one of her words were pulled out of her against her will.

His eyes softened more. Clarke was sure that he understood her, after all he was an alpha as well.

“Look, I can see you're trying ok?” he gave her at least this. “Fuck!” he said frustrated by the situations. The girl could see that he wanted to give her at least the benefit of the doubt.

“Look,” he tried to compose himself. The word look must have been something he used to help himself calm down. “I get your struggle. I've been there too, and you look like a good kid. I've seen it today, but if I step down and leave it alone and something happens I won't forgive myself. You have to understand that.”

“I get it Lincoln. I swear,” she said, trying to convince him to keep quiet, “Please I know I can do it, just give me a chance. Let me prove it to you.” She swallowed down both her bile and her pride before uttering the next sentence. “I'm begging you.”

The older alpha clenched his jaw. He was still deciding, she could tell that. But before giving her his verdict, he took his time to deliberate.

After what seemed to be an eternity to Clarke, he spoke again, supporting his words with aggressive pheromones.

“If I do it, I need you to swear on everything you have that you'll walk away if something like that happens again, and I don't care if it's with Lexa or anybody else. Do you understand?” he asked her, waiting for her nod before continuing.

She did submitting to him. Accepting his will as superior. She knew he did it to test her.

So she kept her mouth shut and let him talk.

“If I hear that you started a fight with anybody, I'll grab you and I'll drive you so far that you won't know your way back here,” he said, stepping toward her.

“I don't care if you end up beat up. You will not attack anybody else, even if it is to defend yourself,” he said as he stared at her pointedly, until she nodded again.

Then he closed the distance between the two of them, until he was towering over her.

“And if I find out you hurt Lexa, or if she ends up in jail because of you, I can promise you that I will hunt you down and kill you,” he said looking more serious than ever.

Clarke gulped down. She could see it in his eyes that he would keep his promise.

“I understand.” Her voice shaking because of fear.

“Good,” he said dryly. “When we go back inside, Anya will voice her own concerns so let me handle her. Don't let me down,” he ordered her in the end.

….......................

 

When they arrived back in the apartment, Anya and Lexa were in the middle of a conversation. Or better, Lexa was trying to ignore her busing herself with dinner while Anya was quietly talking to her.

They were startled by the noise of their entry and the omega took a quick glance to Clarke before lowering her gaze as if caught doing something inappropriate while the alpha kept staring at her angrily.

The younger alpha paid little attention to the taller blonde and stared at the woman, hoping she'd raise her head to tell her everything was fine.

The first one to break the silence was Lincoln.

“Happy to see you've calmed down.”

Anya didn't bother to even change the target of her glares before speaking.

“I'm not calm. Not at all,” she said coldly, “Why the fuck is the mutt still here?”

Clarke wanted to punch her as soon as she opened her mouth. She was a bastard that needed to be reminded of her place.

But she didn't. She promised to Lincoln she wouldn't do anything stupid anymore and breaking her promise less than 10 minutes after making it wasn't something she was willing to do, so she kept her mouth shut.

“I told you to stop, Anya,'” the teacher hissed to her, but was highly ignored by the older girl, who was too focused on giving Clarke dirty looks.

“Because I'm saying so,” the boy answered firm.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“That she stays.”

Lexa looked surprised by his statement and seemed to look grateful at the bold alpha.

“Are you crazy? You were meant to take the garbage out and leave it there,” Anya said indignant.

The younger alpha was fuming. She had been repeatedly offended in front of her omega and had to keep quiet. This was not her. She was not impotent. She was the alpha. She was not used at being seen and not heard so she bit her tongue until she draw blood, but didn't make a sound.

“This isn't fair Anya. Drop it,” the boy said in her defense.

The older girl now started to look daggers at him, instead of the younger alpha.

“Why are you defending her?!”

“Because she is like us,” the boy reasoned, “We were two pups when Lex took us in, and we were both unable to control ourselves. You are still unable to keep calm. You should be able to sympathize.”

“It was different,” the girl tried to hold her ground, “We were not dangerous to Lexa.”

“We were Anya. We both know it. She stops when Lexa tells her to,” he said, trying to convince his friend.

“Yeah, but if she doesn't? What happens when no one is around to throw her off her? Costia isn't here anymore to protect her!” the older blonde said.

“Enough!” the only omega in the room roared, “I can take of myself alone! Clarke stays! It is my choice not yours!”

“Lex, please listen t-” Anya tried again to convince her.

“No, I will not hear another word on the matter. You don't get a vote on it. You don't have power over me. You can't control me. I will do as I please. This is final Anya,” the woman said annoyed.

Clarke saw the other alpha visibly flinch when the woman was done with her speech.

“I know it, Lex. I'm trying to look out for you. I'm just worried for you,” she said, losing her the arrogant glow that seemed to irradiate from her.

The younger alpha didn't feel disgust for her right now, when she wasn't trying to be superior to her.

“I know it Anya, and I'm grateful to have you and Lincoln,” the brunette said as she smiled kindly at the taller alpha. “But you need to understand when to let go.” she said, gently resting her hand on the alpha's forearm.

“Ok, Lex, I'm not gonna get involved anymore. But I wanna say one more thing,” the alpha compromised with the omega. “That if she'll hurt you, I'll end her. Understood, pup?” she asked Clarke, moving her hazel eyes onto her.

“Yes.” the shorter girl spit out of her teeth, hoping to catalyze all of her hatred in a single syllable.

…....................

After receiving two lovely dead threats, she finally sat down at the table for dinner to eat with the ones who threatened her.

An amazing evening was in front of her.

The food was amazing, at least.

Well, for Clarke anything that Lexa made was amazing so she might be a little biased.

Lincoln tried to be friendly at the best of his abilities, but Anya didn't seem to be willing to follow his lead. 

“So Clarke, playing any sports?” the boy asked, hoping to break the silence that fell over them.

“Mmm...Not really. I'm more the artistic kind of a girl.”

“For real?” he asked surprised but still delighted by what he has heard, “I'm an artist too!”

Clarke almost chocked on her food. Getting a scholar ship for art at Polis University wasn't easy, it was exactly what she was after.

“Wait, you have a scholar ship for art at Polis?” she asked surprised. Lincoln was starting to become his idol.

“Nope,” he said sheepishly, “I'm studying psychology, actually. I just love to draw.”

Well, he kind of took a step back from being his idol but still he was very close.

Before she could answer, Anya scoffed and spoke.

“If you're gonna say you wanna be an artist, please stop talking.”

Asshole, Clarke thought to herself.

“Ouch,” she heard the other girl say. “Why the fuck did you kick me?” she asked bewildered to Lexa.

“It was a silent way to tell you to stop acting rudely.”

“I was not acting like “rudely”,” she said, mimicking the quotation marks with her hands. “I was just expressing my opinion,” the alpha said, looking smug.

“Whatever,” the omega mumbled annoyed, while rolling her eyes.

“And what do you study?” the blonde alpha asked curious. It was probably a pompous degree like  
Cultural Anthropology, Ethnology and Ethnolinguistic or Philosophy of the Prick and communication verbal and non of the asshole.

“Criminology,” the older girl answered still smug.

Well Clarke was not expecting for her to have chosen a very pragmatic line of study.

Her arrogance made her look like the kind of girl who only cared about making a lot of money and not helping people with minimum wage.

In the end, the younger girl found something nice in the older one.

“Oh, it sounds cool,” she said, hoping the other girl would let it slide without a mean comment.

Instead, she whined.

“Ouch! I haven't even answered!”

“I'm just being preventive,” Lexa said, smirking.

She earned a snort from the younger alpha and a belly laugh from Lincoln. 

“Stop laughing ass,” Anya growled to him.

….................

Dinner went well, after the older girl stopped talking.

Lincoln, Clarke and Lexa chatted the whole time after Anya decided to keep quiet in order to protect her shins.

When they were done, the two alpha excused themselves, saying that they were going to meet with one of their high school friend and then they'd go to take the train to get back to Polis.

After they were done saying their goodbyes to Lexa which consisted in hugs, something that irritated the younger alpha endlessly they bid their farewell to her too.

Lincoln hugged her warmly and gave her his number.

“If you need anything or you just need to talk give me a call, ok?” he said.

“Will do,” Clarke answered, smiling at him. She was happy that in the end they managed to be friends even after a bad start.

Anya, instead opted for a total different tactic, which consisted in staring weirdly at her for quite some time.

The younger alpha stared at her in silence, with a face that was the perfect representation of the question ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

During their silence, she thought that maybe the girl was trying to make her head explode with her wishful thinking or she had to go the bathroom. Most likely the second.

In the end, the older alpha decided to talk and said, “You better remember that I can work a gun, pup.”

After that, she turned around and started her trek for the exit.

“I'm sorry about her,” Lincoln said, shaking his head a little amused and went to follow his sister.

As soon as the two of them were out of ear shot, the alpha asked to the omega.

“The fuck is wrong with her?”

“I don't know. I think her parents threw her up and forgot to catch her after, when she was a baby. And please don't start talking like a sailor, Anya is already enough.”

“It makes sense,” she answered. “I promise to stop talking like a sailor,” the girl smiled brightly at her omega.

“That's good,” she said.

It was weird but as soon as they were done talking about them an air of awkwardness settled on them.

Lexa stopped looking at her eyes and was now fascinated with her hands.

“What is it?” the alpha blurted out, without realizing it.

Her need to calm her omega's distress was too strong to make her think before acting.

“It's nothing,” she said, turning her head to look at the wall. She seemed a little embarrassed too.

“Oh come on Lexa. I can see there's something wrong. Tell me.”

“Just forget it,” she said, moving toward the couch.

“Oh come on Lex. Don't make me beg. You can tell me.”

“I don't think you really want to know.” she said, looking at the ground again.

“I do. I wanna know everything about you,” the blonde said truthfully, rising her omega's head with the point of her index finger.

When their eyes met, she smiled, seeing firmness in it. She kept holding her chin and stared to use her thumb to caress her.

“I heard your screams earlier.”

“Oh,” she said, dropping her face and shifting uncomfortably in her place.

It also meant that Anya heard her screams too.

“I didn't hear all of them, but it was obvious what they were about.”

She was staring at the ground now.

What was Lexa now thinking of her?

She must be thinking that I'm a weirdo.

A few kisses and then I scream from the roof that she is mine. Shit. Shit. Shit. And shit.

“I'm sorry… You were not meant to hear them,” the alpha whispered, feeling insecure.

“It's a little too late now,” her omega said, “Clarke, please look at me, we need to talk about it. You can't just close yourself up into your shell.”

“There isn't much to talk about,” the alpha snorted, trying miserably to cover her insecurities.

“Clarke, please we passed that,” she said, “There is no need to hide behind sarcasm when we are alone. Please talk to me.”

The blonde snapped, “You already know it. Now it comes the pitiful part were you try to let me down easy.”

“Clarke I-”

“Stop. I wasn't done. Now I wanna tell you something you don't know. That I'm not accepting that, and I don't care how long it will take me or what, but I will make you realize that I'm the only one for you. That I'm yours and you're mine.”

“Clarke, we can't and you know it.”

“We can't right now, but I can wait and in this time, I'll show you that I have what it takes to be a good mate.”

“Shit,” her omega hissed. It was the first time she heard her curse. “You don't know what you're talking about! You're 16 for Christ's sake. 2 years are an eternity for you and when you realize that you'll start to run after somebody else.”

“I'm going to be 17 in less than a month. It's not years, and I won't change my mind. You’re the only one I want,” the alpha said determinate. She'll prove it to her, she'll make her change her mind.

“Jesus, listen to what you're saying!” Lexa snapped, “You're talking about mates, Clarke. Mates! Married couples don't do that for years, not after 5 days! Getting rid of a mating bite takes years and it's fucking painful! It's not something to take lightly.”

Instead of answering with her words, the blonde chose to let her body talk. She cupped the back of the teacher's neck and pushed her with her front until the woman's rear hit the back of the couch.

The brunette's body automatically let the blonde's in. She opened her legs to let Clarke get closer. 

The alpha proceeded to rest her foreheads on hers, while she wrapped her hands in the student's shirt at the shoulder height. She didn't know if she did that to push her away later or make her stay.

She stared in her omega's eyes for a while.

The woman in her arms seemed to be quivering for a kiss, instead the alpha spoke.

“You feel it too,” she said already breathing heavily because of their proximity.

“Chemistry doesn't make us good mates. Just because my body wants you, it doesn't mean I'll let you bite me,” she said, pushing her back softly.

Clarke disentangled herself from Lexa, but didn't go too far.

“I'll make you change your mind. You'll love me,” she said, smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kudos and bookmarks! And the comments too:) As usual let me knoe what you think about it:)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a complete sap after writing this chapter:):) I also had to go to the dentist because of it! Hope you'll enjoy!:)

Lexa smiled softly at her after her declaration.

She might be thinking she was looking at a pup a little too excited for a crush, but Clarke knew better.

She might sound crazy, but it wasn't just that their body were perfect for the other and their pheromones, the miraculous draft for their aching hearts.

It was her mind.

It was the mystery hidden behind those beautiful jaded eyes.

She loved every words that came out of her soft lips. She knew exactly what to say to lull her to sleep or awake her from numbness that settled over her for long time.

She knew she could manage to be that for her omega as well.

Age didn't matter.

“Stop smiling. I'll have you wrapped around my little finger in no time,” she said, smirking cockily again.

The teacher smiled brightly, showing her beautiful teeth as well. An accomplishment that made the alpha swell with pride.

“I'm sure you will,” she said as a compliant, patting her shoulder and moving toward the table to grab the dirty dishes still on the table.

“I'll help you,” Clarke said, not wanting to let silence settle over them and also not wanting the omega to deal with that on her own.

“As you wish,” she said, smiling at her again.

Every time a smile would pull up her lips, she's find herself more proud of herself.

It wasn't easy to accomplish such things with Lexa.

They started to grab all of the remains left on the table and brought them to the sink where the older woman washed them and the blonde dried.

She had offered to wash them, but the brunette turned her down.

“What? You don't trust me with washing the dishes?” she asked, feigning to be hurt.

“Yep. I don't trust anybody with the cleanness of my belongings,” she said, keeping her smile in place at the theatrics of the alpha that was now showing disbelief on her face.

“You're weird,” the girl said, still joking.

“I know and I'm not afraid to show it,” the brunette said as she stuck out her tongue to her.

Her childish behavior something unseen so far and they knew each other for two years in the classroom.

It made the blonde erupt in laughter. She found herself so intrigued with the brunette.

She loved this paradox of a woman. It was things like this that made her want to be her mate.

When her laughs stopped, they found themselves in a comfortable silence, each fulfilling their task.

Sometimes, Clarke would steal a glance of the omega and when she was caught doing so, she always earned a shy smile, that she would return with one of her own.

The silence gave her time to think about what happened this week.

Since she started to live with the woman, she never had a calm day.

Well, she had been staying here for 5 days, but damn, they were the most emotional ones she had in a very long time.

And today was the weirdest of all with the two alphas showing out of the blue.

“Who are Lincoln and Anya?” she blurted out.

The woman seemed a little confused by the question, but recovered soon.

“You met them. You know who they are,” she said, trying to avoid it.

“Who are they to you?” the blonde inquired again, wanting the answer.

She was desperate to know something about her omega's past.

“It's a long story, Clarke.”

“I have time,” she said, smiling, “and I want to know.”

She rested her hand on Lexa's forearm to steal her attention from the washing.

When their eyes met, she said “I want to know you,” with all the sincerity she could muster.

The jades nestled in her eyes place softened and opened the gate of the past.

She saw bitter sweetness in them. The love for time long gone that would never rewind.

“Ok,” she whispered.

“They are my family,” she said, going back to her task.

Clarke let her have some silence and waited for her to find the right words to explain them to her, drying the things Lexa passed her.

“We took them in when they were young. They were both 15.”

You and who? The alpha wanted to ask, but stayed silent to not break the magic that was making the woman talk.

“At first, I didn't even want to…” she laughed a little to herself. “Or better I didn't even know that they were moving in,” she said, smiling and shaking her head to the wall in front of her, to the blonde it looked as if the surface was showing her a movie that only Lexa could see.

“They are not blood related. They met when they were 10 in a foster house. Lincoln lost his parents at that age. He only had an old grandmother who was recovering in a hospice, incapable to take care of herself, so he was put in the foster care. That's where they met.”

This story made her lose her smile. Clarke ached because of it, but she needed to satiate her hunger for knowledge.

“Anya was abandoned when she was 2 days old in front of a firefighter station.”

She took a deep breath before continuing.

“She never found a family that kept her because of her temperament, and Lincoln was too old to find one. When I met them, I thought they were just two misfits Costia found on the side of the road.”

Costia, it must be the name of the other Asian girl she saw on the pictures. The one that looked like her lover.

Her name made liquid jealousy start to run in her veins.

“I was so wrong. She was a social worker. One of her colleague went in pension and she found herself having to care for them. They kept changing foster houses. If it wasn't for a fight with one of the other pups, it was because of a fight with the den's sire. But they always were on top of their classes. She found herself intrigued by them. One night, she received a call from the hospital, they told her that Anya had been severely injured. She run over there and found out she had a fight. The police was there too. They said that the two of them were approached by gang members. They wanted to recruit them and when they refused the fight started. Lincoln was bruised as well, but not as badly as her. She took the most of the hits. After finding that out, Costia decided to take them in. She already put them in the best house she could find, but they needed to be taken away from that environment completely and the couple that was housing them couldn't afford it so she took that decision. This is how they ended up in my life.” 

She stopped herself from the painting that her lips ware creating for Clarke to take a deep breath.

“Me and Costia became their legal guardians on their sixteenth birthday.”

As she finished her story, she found herself done with her task as well. The alpha finished hers in silence.

Now she could understand why Anya was so guarded and why Lincoln said Lexa was like a mother to him.

She also found herself selfish for leaving her house and a loving mother.

It was true that the older Griffin made many mistakes but she never abandoned her pup.

“Who is Costia?” she asked to have something to get out of her head and also because of her lack of knowledge.

Lexa cringed when she said her name, as if she hurt her physically.

“She was mine,” she said with her voice unsteady, “She was my wife.”

Wife that word never brought her such discomfort as it did now.

Her blood boiled. She hated to know that her omega had somebody before her to call mine.

She wanted to be the only one. She knew that it was impossible, but reason never had control over her feelings.

Even if she couldn't be the only one, she still craved to be hers and her use of the past was something that was noticed by the blonde.

“Where is she now?”

She wanted to take her question back as soon as it was out of her mouth.

Her omega's eyelids filled with unshed tears, her jaw clenched and her features hardened all of a sudden.

The only thing that kept showing vulnerability were her eyes. They remained soft and open.

She could see the pain they irradiated.

Before she could even think about what to do, her alpha took control of her.

Its need to nurture her omega stronger than anything.

Her logical part, the one that was pure in her wanted the same, but its lack of instinct left it frozen.

Clarke has never been happier to let her animalistic side take control of her.

She enveloped Lexa in her arms. She brought her woman's head to rest on her chest.

She felt her small calloused hands travel up to fist her t-shirt over her shoulder pulling her even closer.

Her omega was trembling. She was shook to the core her from the strong emotion, wishing to be freed from their cold bars. 

She forced the air around them to shift from its apathetic stillness to the flame of a summer deluge, suffocating the whole room with the soft waves of her affection.

Clarke wanted to make the omega drawn in her pheromones.

She then moved her head to smell the change in the brunette's.

They smelt like the deadly cold funeral of the forest swallowed by the winter fangs.

Her body was as cold as them.

She dragged her nose up and down the column of her neck, making sure to expose her own neck to the mercy of her omega.

She pressed a sweet kiss on it, while from deep inside of her a low rumble erupted. She was purring for her.

The woman was shaking even more. The hearth quake that was Clarke amplifying her own.

Her cold smell was roaring against its barrier to be released. The stubborn woman was still trying to be the strong one, not showing the weaknesses that made her perfectly flawed.

“Lexa,” she said, hoping to coax her to let her in.

It worked faintly. She felt the glacial wind the brunette shoved against her flesh penetrate into her bones.

She gasped because of it, breaking the purring.

The way in which her woman was trying to protect her raw soul was shaking Clarke to ground.

It clawed at her insides and pushed her away, but her omega needed her to be still. Her clenched hands had its purpose. She needed someone to hold her while ridding herself of the snow walls around her beautiful heart. 

“Lexa,” she repeated, letting her body produce the sweet guttural sound again.

“You can be weak with me.”

She kept her song playing even while she pleaded to be stricken from the torment.

“Please, Lexa. I won't hurt you. I could never,” she begged before stroking her soft hands on the expanse of her back, trying to calm the sob that broke her already uneven breathing.

“She died. She left me alone.” She barely heard her broken whispers.

It brought with it thunder and the smell of ice, but she was prepared for everything this time and stood still holding her closer, harder.

She didn't let the wind blow her away. She didn't let the cold freeze her or the snow block her passage.

She'd never let any of those things stop her from reaching her omega.

She'd turn into stone if that was what it takes.

“I love you and I'm not leaving you alone.”

The tiny hand on her shoulder clawed to her skin, sinking into her flesh with the wish to be closer.

The alpha's pheromones started to downpour stronger, to fight the storm that was now infuriating out of Lexa.

It showed itself in the end, breaking the woman with tears, sobs, and whimpers.

The wind blew at its most powerful strength. The snow was falling in shapes of hailstorm with thunders and lightning breaking down the pines she loved to smell and the ice covering its soil.

To be reborn again, the forest needed to succumb to the winter.

“I won't go anywhere. I swear.”

Lexa couldn't breath. She was inhaling with guttural sounds and exhaling through sobs.

Her only concern was air.

Clarke felt her omega weaken. Her poor legs were not able to continue holding her for much longer so she swept her in her arms, bridal style, to bring her to their sanctuary and rest her on the altar, where she will worship her in every way possible.

Tonight she'd just give her the pure side of herself to the woman.

As an offer to her goddess, she gave the power over her, showing her neck to be smelled, tasted or bitten.

She didn't care which one and she'd never want anything more that to have them all in one night.

The brunette still had her shirt in one tiny fist while her other hand sneaked on her strong back to pierce unprotected skin.

Her nose settled over the glands.

She could feel her tears fall over her cheek and ragged breath over her collar.

The tempest still fierce but now losing its mordant over the two lost souls.

They waited and waited and every time Clarke whispered she was staying, she could feel it slowly dissipating.

It left her love drained and before its end she took her in a deep slumber, pitying her for having to be the catalyst of its fury.

It didn't grace the alpha with the same mercy that kept her wake until the smell of pines and wet soil was the only thing she could sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well let me know what you think if you feel like it:):) Also if you see something that seems out of place, or you don't understand I'll be happy to clear it for you. Have a nice day:)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy:) sorry for the delay:) I hope to not break the schedule again! As usual please let me know what you think about it and thank you for all of the kudos and bookmarks!

The first time she woke up, it was because of Lexa's alarm.

The omega moved away from her arms to stop the annoying sound, finding a bit of resistance and then re-positioned herself in the alpha's arm with her back pressed to Clarke's front.

The blonde let out a content sigh over the brunette's neck and tightened her arms around her waist to make sure not an inch of their bodies were separated. She earned a sleepy and satisfied hum from Lexa that was almost asleep again.

She followed gladly.

…...................

The second time she woke up, it was because of Lexa's calloused hand, that was gently caressing her cheek, and silky voice.

“Clarke,” she called, trying to rouse the sleeping alpha.

“Hi,” the girl whispered, still sleepy.

She was entangled with the omega and happy in her warmth.

The woman was propped on one arm with the blonde wrapped around her. Her face was firmly pushed in her chest and her arms were tightly holding Lexa close.

Her legs were parted by one of the brunette's and her hardness was pressed in the toned thigh.

If she kept sleeping in the same bed as her, she'd have to deal constantly with morning woods.

 _If only Lexa would take care of it!_ She thought.

She huffed annoyed on the woman's chest and then rubbed her face against it, trying to push herself as close as she could.  

“Hey,” the brunette said, pushing gently Clarke's face away from her chest to look in her eyes.

The woman was smiling softly, giving the alpha the first one of those looks that made her sure she managed to make Lexa fall in love with her.

“What is it?” she asked with a scratchy voice and smile of her own.

“It's 10:30 Clarke. You are late for school,” the woman stated.

“I'll just make a fake of my mum's signature,” she said, pushing the omega down to effectively use her bosom as pillow.

The wild animal that was Lexa allowed that.

Sometime the alpha thought of her as a wild animal that needed to be approached with caution, as usual the roles where reversed here.

A few moments of calmness passed before the brunette spoke again.

It was weird for the teacher to be the one to break her beloved silence.

“I'm sorry about last night,” she spoke softly in a low tone.

The blonde brought one of her hands to lay on top of Lexa's heart to rest her chin over it without hurting the omega.

She didn't say anything only stared at the sight of the woman that was staring at the ceiling, tilting her head to study her better.

She let time follow its course, simply enjoying the warmth of the omega.

She always wondered why this lovely scented creatures were like little stoves.   

They emitted such a heath from their bodies, that only intensified during the heat.

It was something that was constant and Clarke loved it. Especially Lexa's.

She reached the perfect temperature for the blonde, not too hot but not too cold, a little over the comfortable.

“Are you not going to say anything?” she asked, keeping her glaze locked on the tantalizing wall.

“Will it make you feel better?” the alpha answered with a question of her own.

She knew that Lexa was a woman of facts and not a woman of words. She was not going to waste her breath over a lost cause. She'd just have to hold her in rough times, showing her it was ok to be weak.

“No,” she answered simply.

“I'll show you,” the blonde said placidly, “I'll show you that it's ok to feel down sometime.”  
   
Trying to convince her now was useless, so Clarke tried to get the best out of the situation, resting her head on the soft pillow that the brunette's breasts was and started to doze off again, warm in her little cocoon of happiness.

She was floating in the limbo between sleep and wake, slipping in the realm of Morpheus, when the brunette spoke again.

“What if people feel down all the time?”

The question perked the girl's interest.

Her natural instincts were waking her up to console her omega's distress.

She moved her head to see the woman's face and felt her heart beat faster. It was obvious that the brunette was trying to keep her heart rates under control and failing.

“Then they should do something that makes them happy,” the blonde answered simply.

“What if it is wrong?”

“If something makes you feel happy, I don't think it is wrong,” the student kept talking lightly as if she wasn't invested in the debate, like they weren't talking about their situation..

“What if hurting people makes me happy?” Lexa asked with her voice raising and emotion flowing out of it. “What if killing makes me happy?” she said, urging Clarke for an answer, dislodging the blonde from her chest to lay on her side and stare into those beautiful zircons. “Is this still ok if it makes me happy?”

“I never said that, Lexa,” the alpha spoke determinately, “As long as you don't do anything against someone else's wishes, then you don't do anything wrong. There are people who enjoy pain and there is nothing wrong with giving them what they want, as long as you stay within their limits. There are also people who think dead is a blessing instead of a sin. There are situations to be considered. The world is not black and white.”

The woman gave her again that look.

The one of affection, of love. Clarke basked in it and wanted it to be permanent.

“What if I hurt you?” she whispered.

“I don't care as long as you love me.”

That look was still there and it was getting more intense.

She knew she was making Lexa fall in love with her, not her biology or her appearance, she was making her falling in love with her being, with her soul.

She has known it for a while and right now, she was beholding the proof of that.

Now was the right time.

She leaned in, crossing the few inches that were separating their lips.

She did it slowly to give her lover time to refuse and this time she didn't.

The first touch was just a timid brush of their lips. Clarke leaned back after it to search for the teacher's eyes, to see if there was any doubt in them.

She only found the look before the brunette bit her lower lip. Something that the alpha wanted to mimic to make the tingling stop. Instead she opted to press her mouth back against the brunette's.

Not a smart idea if she wanted them to stop pulsing, but in reality she only wanted to make them burn with the feeling.

She sucked on her lower lip, while Lexa did the same to her upper. The alpha did not try to deepen it, she simply enjoyed their first real kiss. The one that was not poisoned by jealousy or obligation.

She was sliding her lips with the woman's on perfect sink, letting the woman rearrange the angle and have the pleasure of tasting her bottom lip.

She was very satisfied with that concession when she felt a shy tongue asking for the permission she gladly assured.

Her tasting buds exploding with the taste of Lexa, her organ thrilled by the gentle caresses the woman was giving it.

Her English teacher was a good kisser, and when she felt her move to get some air, she palmed the back of her neck, denying her lover of the much needed air they both required.

It was weird how much better the kiss was getting, with less air in their lungs.

The lack of it sent their movements into a frenzy, letting the animal, their instincts, control the kiss.

Letting the body enjoy its addiction.

The brunette started to lightly scratch her back with her nails, sending shivers down her spine.

She could already taste the jolts of pain turning into pleasure for when the teacher would put more pressure into the gesture. It reminded her of the lonely bird in her boxers, that jumped for attention.

It made alpha release a gasp, letting the both of them breath again.

Clarke closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to Lexa's, breathing the same air as her, maintaining her hold steady.

The teacher kept running her hand up and down her back.

The blonde let herself enjoy the motion and proceeded to grab the brunette's thigh to make her slide and be flush against her body.

The woman whimpered at the show of strength of the alpha, aroused by it.

It made the student smirk and start to leave kisses on her pulse point, where the glands were situated and nipping at it sometime.

Lexa was enjoying it and as a reward she rolled up the girl's t-shirt to scratch the bare skin, making the girl grind a little over her naked thigh.

Clarke wanted to give herself a pat on the shoulder for removing their jeans before sleep last night.

The woman after a few moments of indecision started to mimic her movements.

The friction was the sweetest torture the alpha has ever endured, with the amazing smell of her omega's arousal.

It smelt like pine's resin, sweet and pungent enveloping her in a bubble of heat, making all the blood rush to her nether regions.

She wanted to taste it badly.

She reached the brunette's lips with her own, trying to suppress the very little alpha whimpers that were threatening to leave her mouth and started to move her hand between their bodies. At first, she didn't find any resistance, but when she was about to slip her fingers into Lexa's panties and reach her prize, she felt her wrist being grabbed.

The omega then proceeded to pin it over her head, push her on the back, and straddle her at incredible speed.

“You are not allowed to that,” the woman said sternly.

“I need more Lexa!” the alpha whined and rolled up her hips to get a little pressure where she needed it the most.

The brunette leaned down to kiss her chin and whisper on her lips.

“If you can't control yourself, we should stop.”

“No,” the blonde whined again, grabbing the woman's leg and rolling her hips up, “No, I want you.”

The omega sighed in pleasure over her lips.  
   
It was obvious for the alpha that they wanted the same thing. the woman was unable to stop the grinding.

“Please, Lex, I need you,” she begged into her mouth.

“Clarke I-” the teacher was interrupted by the ringing of her phone.

The blonde knew that the damn thing had broken the moment. As soon as the woman heard it, her eyes started to focus again and she leapt off the girl to reach the device.

The alpha tried to play as interference, grabbing her wrist at a time and a leg at another, but the omega easily freed and took her phone to answer somewhere else.

Clarke rolled on her belly defeated, growling into the mattress.

She was finally getting somewhere with the omega.

Sooner or later, she'd destroy all of the phones in the world because of this, but for the time being she reached her discarded pants and pulled out her own.

She found several unread texts and 5 missed calls, each one from one of her friends.

She opened the group chat to see what the fuss was all about.

 **RavenJay:** Yo, Griff r ya comin' tonight?

 **OctaviaTheGrounder:** Clarkeeeeee?

The previous text were sent one five minutes before the other, while the rest were sent half an hour later all in quick succession.

 **BellBoy** : Clarkey, you can at least let us know you're alive!

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : She must be hitting on the chick.

 **RavenJay** : Somebody should tell poor Clarkey she's never gonna get in her pants!

 **BellBoy** : You're so lame Griffin! I'm sure I would have already managed!

 _Fucking idiot,_ She thought, _As soon as I see him I will punch him in the balls._

 **Jazzpetto** : Yeah me too!

_He too._

**GreenMonty** : Clarke is going to kill you guys! XD

_Smart Monty._

After that the text from last night bonfire finished and she saw the ones from this morning.

 **RavenJay** : Where the fuck are you?

Raven must have been very worried, because she never text with actual words.

 **GreenMonty** : Dude we're worried!

 **Jazzpetto** : Yeah, where are you?

 **BellBoy** : Why the fuck do you have a phone if you don't use it?

 **BellBoy** : As soon as I see you I'll stuck it up your ass! It will be more useful as a vibrator than as a phone!

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : If you don't answer before lunch I'm calling the cops.

It was the last text from the morning and Clarke started to type back her answer.

 **Princessa** :  Guys, I'm alive!

 **Princessa** : I'm sorry for not texting you back but I was busy!

 **Princessa** : I didn't hear the alarm and slept too much! I'll be at school in the afternoon, I'm so sorry for making you worry!

 **RavenJay** : Finally!

 **BellBoy** : I'm still sticking your phone in your ass!

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : I'm helping him!

 **GreenMonty** : You made the two Blake agree on something!

 **Jazzpetto** : Ahahah oh my god, you managed the impossible!

 **RavenJay** : I'll make the video guys!

 **RavenJay** : Don't do that ever again!

 **Princessa** : I promise! Sorry guys!:(

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : We are still going to do it! It's useless to apologize!

 **Jazzpetto** : Shit Pike saw me use the phone, I have to give it to him! I hate you all!

 **Princessa** : Ahahah! Great job Jazz! I'll see you later guys! Put the phones away if you don't wanna end up like him!

 **BellBoy** : We're not that dumb!

 **RavenJay** : Said the guy who had it retreated 3 times.

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : Mom is gonna kill you if it happens again, put it away dumb ass!

 **RavenJay** : Ahahah! See you later guys!

 **OctaviaTheGrounder** : We'll wait for you at the benches!

 **GreenMonty** : Later!

 **BellBoy** : Whatever.

….....................

When Lexa came back from her call, she told Clarke that she'd have to leave later to get coffee with some friends, and that they should have that talk they were supposed to have Saturday after detention.

While the woman busied herself with breakfast, the girl went to take a shower and get rid of her erection.

When she sat down at the table, her omega gave her a knowing look tainted with jealousy.

The brunette hadn't had time to get off since before the weekend. A weekend full of strong alpha pheromones attacking her from everywhere, she would pity her, if she wasn't turn down from the task less then half an hour ago.

The teacher sat at the table with two plates full of pancakes, that the student assaulted.

Her appetite made the woman chuckle and she started to pour a cup of coffee to the both of them.

“So what do you wanna talk about?” the alpha asked.

She remembered that Lexa mentioned it was about living arrangements or something like that.

The woman swallowed before talking, unlike the alpha. “I wanted to talk to you about the rules that I want you to follow while you are staying here.”

The blonde gave her a questioning look.

 _Somebody tell me she's joking!_ She thought.

“Lincoln and Anya had to follow the same rules when they stayed here.”

_Hell no._

She was not going to follow puppies' rules. She was going to be her mate, so no rules.

“Yeah, but they were more like your puppies and I'm more like your mate.” she said determinately.

“Please stop with the mate thing, Clarke.”

The girl felt hurt by what she said. Even after what happened, she was still refusing to accept it.

“I won't. You can't tell me you don't believe it after last night and this morning.”

“Please drop it. Just for awhile ok?” she asked, almost begged the alpha to stop, “It's already a mess like this and you keep throwing words like mate in the mix as if it is nothing.”

The blonde's eyes softened a little. She has already found her resolution, but Lexa was still struggling to find hers.

And she knew she sounded crazy with all her talking about mates, but she couldn't help it. It was how she was feeling. She already had to hide it to the whole world. She didn't want to feel restricted with her omega too.

But she understood that the woman was already reticence with the prospect of being more than teacher and student and therefor found the concept of mates delirious, so she agreed but just for sometime.

“Fine, but I'll start again sooner or later,” she said, showing her contrariety to it.

“Thank you,” Lexa said earnestly, resting her hand on top of the alpha's.

After the motion, she gave it a weird look.

A mix of surprise and fear was slowly leaving her eyes and before her muscles understood to remove the limb, the blonde grabbed it.

“Leave it there. It's where it's supposed to be,” Clarke said calmly.

She wanted to show to her omega that they were normal, that their exchanges of affection should not be considered wrong.

She knew it was hard to eradicate believes that were taught to her from young age, but she had to try at least.

“Ok,” the brunette said, looking shy and biting her lip.

“What were you saying?” the blonde continued in her task to make this look normal.

“I was talking about the rules,” the woman reconnected to her previous statement, “I'll tell you what they are, and maybe if you can't accept some, we could negotiate, only if they are not of vital importance.”

 _Much better,_ she thought. “Yeah, it sounds perfect to me.”

“Ok, so you are not allowed to skip school anymore, unless you are ill. You need to keep your grades up, at least at B level. Curfew is at midnight during school nights and inexistent during weekends. You are not allowed to touch my things, enter my room without consent and sleep in my bed...”

“Not gonna happen!” the alpha whined.

“I was not done, Clarke. We'll talk about it when I'm done,” her omega admonished her, “And you are not allowed to start fights. Now I'll tell you the not negotiable ones. You are not allowed to drink and/or smoke, no matter what the substance is. You can't tell to anyone about me. You can't tell to anybody anything related to me, such as my job, the apartment address, my age, not even the color of my eyes and the most important rule you can't take anybody here, for no reason.”

The brunette calmly waited for the blonde to think about what she didn't agree to.

“I agree to all of the not negotiable ones, they are reasonable. I don't agree with the no drinking, all BS rule, the no touching your stuff and the no sleeping in your bed, especially this one.”

She could give up weed, but not beer. There was no way in hell that she could get something more than a C in math. She didn't own a laptop so she'd have to use the teacher's and there was no fucking way that from now on she was sleeping in a bed without Lexa.

“The no drinking stays Clarke. It is against the law.” the woman said stoically, setting her jaw and staring at Clarke as if daring her to challenge her.

It seemed like this one was not going happen. She'd just have to not get caught.

“Whatever,” the girl growled.

“Explain to me why you need the rest to change.”

“Well, I can't get more than a C in math and I have tried. My laptop was stolen so I don't have one anymore and I need to use your computer. The last, well, even if you say no I'm still going to sleep with you.” she finished shrugging her shoulders.

“Clarke,” the woman said, pinching the bridge of her nose inhaling. “You know we can't.”

The alpha was annoyed by all of the rules already, and the woman's stubbornness in thinking she was just an horndog made her furious. But she kept her calm, at least she tried.

“I never said I was gonna bang you. And I don't give a fuck about what you say I'm sleeping with you from now on,” she said before crossing her arms.

She was not dealing with the matter very good, but her temper was starting to get the better of her.

This was not negotiable for her. She needed it as much as she needed air to survive.

“I will buy you a new laptop,” the woman said, ignoring her statement and rubbing her temples as if the alpha was giving her an head ache. “And I will find you a tutor for Mathematics. Look out for tutors in other students if you don't want a professional help.” she said, disreguarding what Clarke considered to be the most important of the things in that moment.

“I don't have time for a tutor. I gotta work everyday after school,” she said still annoyed, “And I'll buy my own laptop. I don't need your money.”

The brunette sighed again, “Then work less...You don't need to work as much as before now. You will accept the new laptop and repay me if you'd like to. You will have to do homework from there so you can't stay without it much longer.”

“Whatever,” the girl answered again, turning her head to stare at wall, not intending to do anything the woman said.

“Clarke...please, look at me,” she said softly, receiving no answer from the stone the girl has become.

“I know it's not easy to accept rules after living without them for sometime, but you need to understand that they are for your own good too. I'm not trying to control you.”

The woman sighed again.

“We'll talk about it later. I have to get ready now. Go to school later.”

Then she turned and disappeared in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, I knoe Lexa in this chapter migt sound a little lunatic and Clarke just an annoying alpha but if you wait for the next chapters everything will be explained:) have a nice day:)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Female alphas and male omega are born with penis and vagina from birth so it's easy to recognize them. They expirience the first rut or heath between the age of 12 and 15. From that moment on their parents or tutor should teach them how to control the ormonal excess or defect of them, that bring the alphas to be dominant and omegas submissive. Their "lead" should be able to make them function like regular human being, teaching them how to control themselves. Anya, Clarke and Lincoln for example hadn't had that guidance, so they had to learn it by themselves, or had to relearn it from the beggining after finding the right "Sire". Once trained the alpha inside of her won't be as obnoctious. Think of it as when you train a dog.
> 
> This is just to explain a little some behaviors in the fic:)

When Lexa was ready, she gathered her things and went to say goodbye to a still angered Clarke. 

“Clarke, I'm leaving,” she said after the alpha completely ignored her entry and was busing herself with washing the dishes. 

It wasn't fair for the omega to still treat her as a pup. She showed to her she was more. 

It wasn't fair to her that one moment the woman treated her like equals and the next second she was being treated like her opinion didn't matter. 

Keeping her cool and taking out her rage on an annoying stain, she didn't answer. 

Yes, maybe the silent treatment wasn't the most mature option, but it was better than stomping her feet on the ground like a capricious pup. 

She'll wait to calm down and then she'll approach the subject again, or she'd simply ignore the brunette's wishes like she was doing with hers. 

Focused on her task, the blonde didn't hear the teacher moving and stepping closer. 

“Clarke,” she repeated, moving her hand to touch her, but refraining from it. 

The blonde could see from the corner of her eyes that the brunette clenched her fist before positioning it back at her side. 

“I have to go,” she said as if the words pained her, as if she touched her this time she wouldn't leave forever. 

And just like that the woman left. 

….........................

She took the bus to get to school for her afternoon activities, arriving fifteen minutes earlier of the bell that would signal the beginning of her Art class and went to the benches in the yard.

It was pretty warm outside. She still needed a jacket for early mornings and evenings, but during the day she was fine with a t-shirt and jeans. 

Just as Octavia promised, she found her friends there, deep in conversation, with most of their attention turned on the Blake siblings. 

“Jezz Bell, back off! You're not my dad!” she heard Octavia exclaim as soon as she reached them.

Bellamy was showing his shoulders to her so she couldn't take her revenge on him, but Jasper was standing in front of him near a fuming brunette, so engrossed in the argument to forget his surroundings and missing her arrival. 

As soon as Jasper was within arms reach, she punched him on the balls like she promised to herself earlier. 

She didn't do it strong enough to block his growth, but hard enough to make sure he felt it.

She was saving that blow for Bellamy.

Being the drama queen that he was, the boy with the goggles fell to his knees, holding his junk faintly saying that he was never going to have children after this.   

The entire group attention went directly on her.

Raven and Bellamy erupted in laughter while Octavia was giving her a disappointed look and Monty was helping his friend on his feet again.

“I love it when you sneak up on people just to punch them like that!” the Latina said with tears in her eyes. 

Even before the girl was added to the group, it was normal among her friends to play this stupid games.

Usually whoever had a penis was smacked there while whoever had boobs got more of a slap in that case. 

The blonde, unfortunately for her, could end up being the target for both. 

It all started because of the older Blake.

When the boy hit puberty, he started to find this kind of stuff funny and re-proposed this gags to the group.

There was a time in which Clarke, Monty, Wells, and Jasper had to wear protection because of how obsessed the shaggy haired boy had become with this kind of pranks. 

Thankfully one day, Octavia put an end to all of this, repaying Bellamy with a kick in the nuts after he pissed her off for some reasons nobody remembers and made him realize it was not as funny as he thought. 

From that moment on, it became justice's sword for them. 

Whenever one of them annoyed one of the others, the offended part could call for the 'Judgment'.

It consisted in uniting the group where the ones involved told the problem and the others voted for who they believed was right. The one who got most of the votes had the right to apply the punishment. It could happen right away or in time.

Sometimes it could happen that the 'Judgment' involved more than 2 parties, like the one happening near the benches.  

Even if Clarke had not called for the rituals, she knew she had the votes to do as she pleased.

She and Raven had a deal. No matter what, they'd always vote for each others, so that was one.

Octavia refused to take part in this games as juror. She also refused to take part as one of the defendant, but it was not up to her to decide if she could or couldn't stay out of it. 

Monty was a jolly, you never knew what he'd do, but the alpha knew she had him on her side as soon as she read his text.

“Why did you do it?” Octavia asked. She believed this kind of behavior was childish.

“Can't tell,” the blonde alpha answered, “I still have somebody on my list.”

It was well known to them that Bellamy was not going to accept his punishment without putting up a fight, that's why they added the rule to do it whenever it pleased them. 

The older boy narrowed his eyes before asking, “You're not talking about me right?”

“Can't say. It's a surprise.”

“You're all a bunch of idiots,” his sister commented.

“You didn't call for the Judgment. It's not fair!” Jasper exclaimed when he finally managed to get to his feet again.

“I didn't need to. I knew I had enough votes to do it,” Clarke smirked.

“But what did I do?” he whined.

“As soon as I'm done with the punishment, I'll tell you. Anyway, how did the bonfire go last night?” 

When she finished asking, she saw Bellamy grimace and Octavia glaring at him. 

While the other smirked, except for Jasper who kept a pained expression. 

“Nobody is gonna answer me?” the blonde alpha asked. 

“I'll tell you, Clarkey,” Raven started her speech, “You know that Monty has a crush on one of the seniors, Miller?”

“I don't have a crush on him!” the Asian boy interrupted. 

“Yes, you do.” the younger Blake and Clarke shushed him.

“Well, he was there too, so the lover boy here had to go say hi! Unfortunately he was with his boyfriend, Brian, that is in college and guess who we met because of him?” 

“Who?”

“Lincoln!” Octavia chirped in.

“And Anya,” the girl with the red jacked smirked, “You know her too?”

The blonde growled and with a disgusted face said, “Yes.”

“Looks like she doesn't likes her too,” the older alpha said chuckling. “It looks like you're the only one that likes her.”

“Seriously Raven!” Clarke exclaimed, “You couldn't chose any other person at that bonfire to bang?”

“We didn't bang unfortunately. We made out and played a little with our hands,” she said, huffing in defeat, “I really wanted though!”

“God, I'll never understand your shitty tastes,” the blonde moaned. 

“That's kind of a lie,” Raven smirked victorious.

“Touchè,” Clarke accepted her defeat in the argument. “Couldn't you like Lincoln better?”

“Naa, O called dibs as soon as her eyes landed on him.”

“Good choice,” the blonde commented. 

“No,” Bellamy grumbled, “He's too old for her.”

“He is only 3 years older than me Bell!” Octavia complained. 

“And you are only 16!”

“It's still 3 years! God why do you have to be so annoying!?”

“I'm your brother, Octavia!” he said as if it explained everything, “I must protect you!”

“They just exchanged numbers Bell. It's nothing serious.” Monty intervened, “And he looks like a good guy.”

“Yeah, he's right Bell,” Clarke agreed with Monty, “I can vouch for him.”

“I still need to make sure he's not an ass,” the boy said. He seemed to be a little unconvinced, but he was relenting. 

“You should be grateful it's not Anya,” the blonde said looking at Raven.

“She's not that bad when she's not trying to prove she's top dog,” the older omega said, rolling her eyes. “Stop being an annoying second Bellamy.”

“I'm not as annoying as him,” the girl pouted, “I just hope it's a one time thing.”

“Nope, it isn't,” the younger brunette said, “You should see how cute she looked, trying to play the big bad alpha, while giving her number to our little bird!”

“Yeah, she was more awkward then me!” Jasper introduced himself in the conversation.

“She looked like a tomato,” Raven said, smiling softly, remembering the previous night. 

“Still don't like her,” the blonde growled. 

“Don't care.” the Latina said, sticking out her tongue to Clarke, who looked at her disgusted. 

“Anyway,” Monty said as he stole all the attention for himself, “My parents are out of town, so if you want we could all hang out at my place after school.”

“I have to go to work,” the blonde said sadly.

“I can pick you up princess.” Bellamy chimed in. 

“Mmm. How about I'll text you later to see if I can come?”

“Can't you ask Harper for a day off?” Octavia asked.

“I already asked for 2 days. She'll kill me if I do it again with such short notice.”

“Oh come on Clarkey. What's the point of having your manager have a crush on you and not exploit it?” Raven asked as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Yeah, I'm sure she'll give you the day off if you show her what's in your pants!” Octavia teased.

“And you'd also get some!” Raven said before giving an high five to the other omega. 

“Yeah but only if you wear our boxers!” the younger Blake said before falling in a fit of laugh with Raven, Monty, and Jasper. 

“Just let me know if I should come to pick you up,” Bellamy said trying to contain his laugh. 

“Idiots,” she said rolling her eyes before the bell rang, signaling it was time for them to part their ways. 

…....................

Not having the teacher's phone number was starting to become a big problem for Clarke. 

She had no way to contact her to inform her that she didn't need a ride home and would not be home until later or the next day. 

It was not in the rules, but she'd figure it might be a problem for the woman.

If she doesn't care about what I think, I don't care about what she thinks either, She thought. 

When she entered the Ark cafe, she went directly to the locker room to leave her belongings and wear the uniform, that would inform the costumers that she was a waitress, and wear her hair in a bun.

The Ark had mostly business clients; guys with suits and women in smart dresses. Stuck up fuckers basically.

When she was buttoning her white shirt, Harper entered the room. 

She went for an hug, surprising the alpha that returned it, leaving her task undone and the shirt open. 

“I'm so happy you made it!” she cheered in her ear, “I seriously don't know how I was going to survive today without you!” 

“Couldn't leave my boss without the best employee for too long!” Clarke answered confident. 

It was true, she was the best employ they had. She was the best one at dealing with the kind of clients that came here. 

“Now, that's a little exaggerated!” she said, slapping her arm and letting her go. 

“No, it isn't,” the alpha said, starting to close the shirt again. 

The girl's eyes fell to her chest. Pretty soon after that, she was so preoccupied with the ogling that she didn't hear what the alpha said. 

“You know, Harp, my eyes are a little higher,” Clarke husked, raising her head with her index finger under her chin.

The manager blushed furiously, before slapping her arm and ordering her to move that pretty ass and start working. 

“Sure boss!” she answered, smirking closing her shirt finally.  

Harper was an omega that attended the second year at Arkadia college in town for business. 

The college was well known, like Polis. 

She was in a long distance relationship with her high school sweetheart Monroe, but considering that they could see each other only during festivities, she tended to look out for attention in other alphas. 

Clarke was one of them. She didn't mind all of the attention the omega would give her. The fact that every time she was getting off work, she would smell like her or the fact that every time she was having a night out with her colleagues, the girl would always end up sitting on her lap. 

Nothing ever happened between the two of them. One time, they were about to kiss, but the alpha stopped everything. She hated the concept of cheating and she was not going to take part in another triangle. 

After that, Harper apologized and explained the whole story to her and how much she missed having somebody by her side. Clarke understood what she meant even if she never had to experience it and promised she was not going to say anything.

They kept flirting from then on, but with the knowledge that nothing was ever going to happen between the two of them. 

It was like friendly flirting if it existed. 

…......................  

She considered herself lucky. 

During her working time, only one costumer made her want to kick his ass. That was why with only fifteen minutes away from closing time and only two tables occupied, she was laughing and jocking with her manager.

“Come on Harper! Don't lie!” the fairer blonde teased, “I don't believe you when you say you never done it in the shower!”

“I'm not lying! I swear! We always did it in the car, 'cause our parents never left the house!” the omega explained.

“You totally need somebody that'll make you try it,” the alpha smirked suggestively. 

“You know somebody that could help me, sweety?” the omega rebutted, biting her lower lip. 

It was in that exact time that they were interrupted by somebody clearing their throat. 

They both looked like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“I'd like to have a black coffee, no sugar to take away. Please.” Lexa ordered with her jaw clenched. 

“I'll take care of it, Harper,” the alpha said before she could answer, “Just go do something somewhere else.”

The older girl gave her a confused look, but disappeared in the back the same. 

“Lexa, it's not what it looks like,” she tried to salvage the situation. 

Her omega's eyes emanated three distinct feelings: betrayal, pain, and anger. 

“Do I look stupid to you, Clarke?” she asked seething. 

“No, Lex, I swear, just let me explain.” 

The brunette gave her a disgusted glare, but kept her mouth shout so that the alpha could talk. 

“We were just joking. She's got a-”

“Clarke we need to start closing soon.” Harper said sheepishly from her place near the back door, “The other costumers left, you should serve her.”

“Yeah sure. One sec,” she said, begging her manager to let her finish this conversation. 

Thankfully the omega was quite smart and a nice person, so she left with just a “We're closing in five, ma'am. I'm sorry.”

“Please give me five minutes and I'll explain everything to you, Lex. I promise.” 

The woman glared at her a little more but nodded, leaving the shop without a word. 

The alpha started to clean the tables right away and charge the washing machine, in the middle of that task the younger omega stopped her. 

“I can finish this up. Go clear things!” 

“Thanks Harp I owe you one” she said running toward the locker room. 

…......................

She didn't know if Lexa waited for her or not, so she stormed out of the cafe, hoping to find her. 

Thankfully the woman was there, leaning on her car, smoking. 

When she approached, the teacher threw the stub in a manhole with perfect aim, stuffing her hands in the lather jacket waiting for her to get closer. 

“Isn't it a bit hypocritical to smoke and tell me not to?” she opened the debate. 

“No,” the omega said in an even voice, “That's why I know how hard it is to stop.” 

“Point taken,” Clarke rebutted. “What you saw inside was nothing, Lex. We just mess around and she's got a girlfriend.”

The brunette gave her a bitter smile, shaking her head. “So you think that, that excuses you. Unbelievable...”

“I haven't done nothing wrong! It's not fair of you to make me feel guilty!” 

“It is!” the brunette exclaimed exasperated, “What should I think when I see you do all of that and then throw the mate bullshit in my face at any given chance?” 

At that Clarke didn't know what to answer, she opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. 

Time was going by without her managing to muster up any kind of apology for Lexa. 

“That's what I thought,” she said, finishing the conversation for now and most likely ever, “Just get in the car.”

“I have to go at Monty's,” the alpha said, surprising herself with that statement, marring the omega even more. 

The woman stared at her, showing all of her emotion on her beautiful features. 

There was pain, disappointment, and defeat written all over her face. 

“When are you coming back?” she asked with sorrow in her voice. 

“I-I think I'm gonna sleep there tonight and maybe tomorrow too,” the alpha stuttered out, “I'll go to school. Don't worry.” 

She knew she was doing everything wrong, but she couldn't stop. She needed to run as far away as she could from that eyes right now. 

From the pain she was causing to her omega. 

She couldn't face it anymore, but right now she couldn't help but look at it and feel like a shit for not stopping for not even trying to take back her words. 

For not being a better person for her mate. 

“As you wish,” was all the woman said turning her vulnerable features into an emotionless mask and disappearing inside the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go easy on me:) and Clarke please!! She'll make it up to Lexa:)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I would like to apologize for the long wait!   
> I needed sometime to sleep, a lot of time actually, and recover because life has been kicking me ass lately and it looks like she is not going to stop. Anyway, I'm back and I will try to keep the update weekly:) 
> 
> I also would like to apologize if the chap is a bit of a mess. It was very hard to write. 
> 
> I also had to write it from scratch 'cause I was out of things that I already wrote. 
> 
> That's it!:) I'm done talking, I hope you enjoy!:)

Clarke sent a text to Bellamy letting him know to come and pick her up.

During the ride toward Monty's house they didn't talk much, when he asked if everything was ok she simply told him that she didn't want to talk about it, maybe later. 

When she got there she ate the cold pizza her friends left her, drinking a cold beer, while they talked about something she didn't really pay attention to. 

Probably Jasper's failed attempt to find himself a girl. 

When she was done eating she spurred the whole group to play Kings and went to grab something heavier than beer. 

She saw Octavia and Raven trying to exchange furtive looks among themselves but she ignored them in favor of pouring in her cup a good amount of gin to mix later with the tonic. 

Jasper stole the blueberry vodka,  labeled Moonshire, for him and Monty, while Bellamy prepared himself a rum and coke, with Havana n.7, Octavia and Raven went for Jack and coke with very little Jack. 

Monty's parents never locked the alcohol cabinet, so everybody knew that staying at his place meant drinking, 

They played happily chatting among them minus Clarke, more interested on the drinking. 

She ended up being Octavia and Jasper's drink buddy, and by the end of the game she found herself still standing after 5 strong cocktails and being the one who had to drink the toxic concoction in the central cup. 

“Clarke you don't really have to drink it, ya know?” Raven tried to stop her, with concerned eyes. 

“I know, but I want to.” she drunkenly smiled at her friend, grabbing the cup and swallowing a portion of its content. 

“Go, Griffin!” Bellamy exclaimed from her side clearly drunk. It looked like Octavia, him and Raven would sleep at Monty's too.

The cool liquid burned her insides and after two gulps she stopped, coughing for a good five minutes after. Tears escaped her eyes from how strong it was. 

“Please don't throw up!” Monty said giving her a glass of water when she stopped “Or at least do it outside.” he knew that when Clarke set her head on something she would do it, no need to try and stop her. 

“Whatever.” She muttered grabbing the cup to drink it outside. 

“She's gonna be sick if she drinks it all” she heard him say “Try to stop her please.” 

“We're on it.” Was Octavia's rebut.

When she stumbled outside she drank another sip, a little one this time and grimaced because of it, before finding herself in Octavia and Raven's company.

“You know what we should do guys!?” she exclaimed “We should go out clubbing or something like that! We should use the fake Ids Murphy gave us!” 

“Clarke we have school tomorrow.” Octavia said with a stern face. 

They always played good and bad cop with her, she already knew the drill, so simply shrugged before answering “Who cares, we can go without sleeping, some sunglasses and we're fine!” 

“And who's gonna drive us there? Bellamy is already drunk.” Raven rebutted trying to use logic with her. 

“We'll get a cub or something.” she slurred stubbornly. 

“With what money?” Octavia asked annoyed. 

“Mine. I got some, c'me on guys, don't be party poopers! It'll be fun!” she tried again. 

“No, Clarke, because you're drunk and we don't want problems.” the younger omega said trying to close the debate. 

“The fuck you're talking about?” Clarke growled threateningly, showering both omegas with submitting pheromones.

They flinched, and it actually made the alpha smirk seeing that somebody was feeling her power, but the two were not going to step down.

“You always start fights when you're drunk.” Octavia stated through clenched teeth, with heavy breath and stiff body trying to resist her pheromones. 

“That was the old me!” the blonde said pointing with both hands to herself, making some of the liquid spill form the cup and letting her pheromones dissolve in thin air “I have changed! I'm like the coolest person ever.” she slurred stumbling on her feet “I'll show you guys, I'm chill now, let's go!” 

“No, Clarke. Just sit down and drink some water for fuck's sake!” Octavia commanded exasperated. 

“Why can't anybody have some fucking trust in me?!” she roared in their faces “Not even my fucking friends. I said I'm changed.” she said starting to pace in front of them “I'm not a fucking pup people needs to babysit! I'm an adult, I can take care of myself! I've been on my own for over a year dealing with my shit on my own! I don't need nobody to tell me what to do!” 

“We know it, Clarke.” this time Raven spoke “Just calm down and let's talk about it.” 

“No! You're just like her, you don't listen to what I say! You don't even acknowledge how hard I try! She doesn't get it, I do everything for her and she still treats me like a pup!” she said moving her hands in the air. 

“Who are you talking about?” the older omega asked with a soft voice “Talk to us, Clarke we can help, please.” 

“Lexa!” she roared again “She keeps treating me like a fucking pup! I'm changing for her! I didn't beat the shit out of Anya 'cause she cares for her! I let that fucker walk all over me for her 'cause she didn't want me to hurt her. I let that dog touch her without doing shit 'cause I wanted to show her that I cared about what she says but she doesn't give a shit about what I say!”

“Clarke, calm down. So this is about not fighting Anya? I don't get it!” Raven said trying to gather more information from the inebriated alpha. 

“No, this is about me telling her that I'm in love with her and her treating me like a foul who doesn't know what she's talking about!”

“You don't even know her, Clarke! How could you say that?” Octavia asked bewildered. 

“I know her! And I love her!” the blonde said growing more and more agitated by the second.

All of her friends fell silent, so she kept talking instead of waiting for an answer. She realized that Bellamy, Monty and Jasper came outside as well.

“I know she needs a woman to be her mate and that's what I'm trying to be! But every time we get closer she takes five steps back like I'm just a pup and gives me shitty rules to fallow like I'm 5!” 

“Than try harder!” it was Bellamy's deep voice to speak this time “If you want her to think of you like a grown up than act like one!” 

“I told you I'm doing it!” She rebutted. 

“No you're not! Or else now you'd be with her talking about your situation not here drunkenly screaming at your friends, just complaining.” 

“I already did that! You think I haven't tried!” 

“Then fallow the fucking rules! If she doesn't want to back down maybe it means that shit matters to her!” he screamed matching her voice. 

Sometimes when he was drunk he was actually smart. 

“I'm not a fucking 5 years old!” 

“You're worst if you can't fallow rules given to kids that age!” Bellamy also loved to show his best English when he was drunk. 

“I'm no fucking pup, take it back!” she growled menacingly. 

“You are a pup.” he said getting closer to her. 

They started a glaring battle when they were within arm reach from one another. 

It was stopped by Raven that snuggled herself between the two bodies resting an hand on each chest pushing them in opposite ways. 

“That's enough guys!” she said effectively putting an end to it “You are both acting like pups now, just calm down.” 

“Whatever.” Clarke said walking away, wanting to keep at least one promise even if the smug look on the boy's face made her blood boil. 

She walked a few meters away, trying to calm herself down, feeling that the alcohol she drank before was making her tired, only wanting to sleep when the adrenaline was gone. 

After a while she was accosted by Octavia that gave her a bottle of water. 

“You know Clarke, he isn't wrong.” she said looking at her with concerned eyes. 

She didn't have it in her to start another argument to prove a point she didn't believe in anymore so she said “I know, I just didn't want to admit it in front of him.” and then gulped down some water. 

“I don't think you should go back at her place.” Octavia blurted out after a few moments of calm “Maybe I can talk to mum and we could make you stay at our place.” 

“O, your mum barely has the money to get just the three of you through every month, I can't ask you to do that.”   
   
“You were not asking. I was offering, Clarke I don't think it's healthy for you to stay there.” she said earnestly. 

“I-I....” she stuttered “I know, ok? It's just that I don't want to leave her. I just have to butt my head on the wall a few more times before giving up. But I appreciate your concern, I'm sorry for being a jerk and screaming at you guys, I really am.” she said lowering her gaze to the floor. 

“Ow! Get over here you big pup!” she said hugging Clarke. 

“I'm not a pup.” she growled playfully in her ear.

“We're gonna start to call you that from now on, you know?” she teased. 

“Yeah, I kind of deserve it.” the alpha agreed wrapping her arms around the omega, leaning her weight on her, with her eyelids closing. 

“Don't fall asleep on me, you drunk ass!” the brunette said jokingly.  

Clarke just grumbled against her neck but did nothing else. 

“Can you promise me something?” Octavia asked caressing her hair. 

“Anything.” 

“Don't do anything stupid, ok?” 

“I promise.” 

….....................

Managing to get inside Orpheus' lands wasn't easy. 

The room twisted and whirled around her until the God had pity and made his blessing fallow upon the alpha. 

But everyone knows, for each blessing comes a curse, and it was the hellish hungover that Clarke could feel drumming her brain. 

Her alarm rang from her phone and the act of getting into a seated position made her feel sick, but she wasn't going to miss the day, she promised to Lexa, so she swallowed down the bile. 

“I'm not driving you.” Bellamy mumbled with his face in the pillow. 

She didn't even answer him and went to the kitchen. She stole some pills for the headache and then proceeded to take the bus. 

Riding it wasn't a walk in the park and she expected none the less. 

For every twist and turn the vehicle took she felt the bile getting closer and closer to its floor. 

Thankfully when she was sure she could not resist anymore the school came into sight and she flew herself over solid ground. 

She was pretty happy to have set the alarm in order to get at the school half an hour earlier then everybody. 

She also wanted to see Lexa stroll inside from afar, considering that in the past two days she did not seem to be able to be around her without pissing her off. 

But with her luck instead of watching her from distance she found herself faced with her. 

She was sitting on the ground with her head between her legs, hoping that the need to retch would stop. 

“On my God! Clarke, are you ok?” she asked with the softest voice she ever heard, resting one hand on the gold locks and squatting down trying to look in her eyes. 

“No, not really.” she stuttered. 

“Shit.” she heard Lexa curse standing up to look around the parking lot and crunching down again. 

“Come on, I'll drive you home. Get in the car.” 

“Lex, I can't take it.” Clarke whispered clutching at her pants with a fist. 

“I have some bags in my car, and I don't care about the car, the only thing I care about now is that if someone sees you like that you will end up in troubles, big ones.” she said softly “We need to go. Now Clarke!” 

She then opened the passenger seat door and the alpha crawled inside the vehicle.

Before starting up the car the omega gave her the plastic bags in case of need. 

She then started the drive toward the house. 

….......................

The drive was filled by Clarke's noises. 

The tremendous and guttural sounds she made while getting rid of the poison inside her belly. 

She didn't even realize they got to the apartment and Lexa turned off the car and went to help her off. 

The stairs were the worst part, the omega had to drag her to the third floor, stopping every time she felt her inside wanting their way out. 

When she finally managed to get the alpha inside she quickly sprawled some towels on the bed and made the blonde lay down, promising to come back as soon as she got rid of the bag that the blonde clutched in one hand and calling the scjool to let them know she was ill. 

She returned with a trash bin that she settled on the alpha side of the bed and then went to be her big spoon. 

“I'm sorry. I can't do anything right.” the blonde whispered while the brunette caressed her hair “I can't.” 

“Shh, shh. Just sleep, we can talk later.” 

“I'm so sorry. I failed everybody, I failed you, my family, my friends, everybody. And I can't seem to be better. I don't know why I do this.” the girl said, with shaking and frustrated voice, freeing the tears that needed to be shed from long time. “I don't know why, I try, but nothing helps. I should disappear, like that you can all be happy, you won't have something that throws you down.” 

“Don't you ever say something like that.” the omega ordered after leaning on top of her and grabbing her face to make their eyes meet “Ever.” 

“I-I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me. I'm sorry.” Clarke said one last time before the sobs took away her ability to speak. 

Lexa leaned her forehead on hers before speaking “I don't care if you're a mess. I don't care about anything else. Clarke, I care about you. I want you in my life even if you end up destroying me.” she stroked again her hair before gently ordering to sleep with a wave of soothing pheromones. 

…............. 

She woke up to an empty bed and house. 

Lexa must have left while she slept. To say the thought didn't disappoint her was an euphemism, but truly she was not in the position to judge anybody's decision. 

Instead of laying in bed and being lazy the whole day she decided to help Lexa out washing the towels and the sheets on the bed and then herself. 

When she came out she found Lexa re-entering the flat. 

She did not meet her eyes and instead went to sit on one of the stools near the kitchen aisle. 

She kept her gaze low, waiting for the lecture she was sure was about to come.

Instead of harsh words she felt a gentle hand rest on her back, another tangle in her golden locks and a body pressed flush against her side. 

“Don't do anything like that, ever again, Clarke.” she felt the breath leaving her mouth directly on her ear, while the hand in her hair was making her tilt her head and expose her neck. 

She let the omega do as she pleased 

She circled her waist with one arm and brought her between her legs so she could feel the front of Lexa's body against her front. 

The brunette did not let go of her hair and kept her head pinned on her shoulder while she peppered her neck with kisses and sometimes whispered the word ever, on her skin. 

Clarke was pretty sure that the encounter was not meant to be in anyway sexual at least for Lexa, but she couldn't help to feel herself excited with her proximity. 

She trapped the omega between herself and the aisle, pressing their bodies as close as she could maintaining  her submitted posture to be sure not to pose as threat. 

It was as if her body moved of its volition, even if her mind was not behind it. 

“I'm sorry, Lexa.” she whispered “I'll do anything you want me to from now on, I won't disappoint you, just please forgive me.”

“That's not what I want, Clarke.” she said making the alpha raise her head “I'm not trying to castrate you, bending you to my will. I'm just trying to help you. You don't have to do everything I say because you think I will be disappointed or that I'll kick you out. It won't happen, I just want you to realize that the rules I gave you were for your own good. I want you to understand that, Clarke.” 

The alpha basked under the loving glaze Lexa set upon her. She loved being cared for by the omega. She understood what the teacher was trying to tell her, and well the rules were not something she think she needed but she wanted to try. After all the no drinking one seemed to be already something she should do because she always tended to exaggerate in everything she did. 

“I understand. I can try to fallow them, I will. I just...” and there she went again to the point of their fight “I just want to be close to you, at least when we are here. I don't know why, I just need to be near you. I'm sorry for being needy and for pushing you, I'll stay away if you don't want me to.” 

She was already breathing heavier then she should because of simply being close. 

Lexa looked at her vulnerable, she could see the battle in her. Her jaded eyes were clouded and glossy. The alpha knew it was desire the same she was feeling, she knew she was emitting mating pheromones, but still not doing it unconsciously.

“I won't be able to deny you for ever, Clarke.” the omega said with her voice cracking while she was pronouncing her name “I can't... We can't. I don't think i- I don't think it will be good for you either. You don't need a lover now. If we do it I will get lost in you, and I-I won't be able to discern  good form bad, I won't be able to be what you need now. I won't be able to lead you. I want you, more than I ever thought was possible, but I care for you more. I won't resist you much longer, please stop torturing me.” she said leaning her forehead over the alpha's. 

“I-I...” she started her sentence, she wanted to tell her that she didn't care of what happened. She just wanted one moment. But the truth was that she wanted much more of that, and if she pressured Lexa into the burning flames with her tonight, the omega was never going to forgive her or herself, she would destroy everything they could be before starting. “I'll stop.” she said forcing her body to step back from everything she wanted. 

Every limb felt stiff, as if they wanted nothing less than encase the brunette in ever lasting cage, but she crushed the marble and stepped back. 

“I'm sorry, Clarke. You are free to do everything you want.” Lexa whispered probably thinking about what she saw with Harper “It hurts me too.”

The blonde could see tears forming in her eyes, in letting her go. But for her it wasn't forever.

“This is a not yet, Lexa. When the time will be right you and I will be more. I don't need anybody else as long as I have you close. I promise you that I won't need anybody else until that moment.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would very much love to know what you think about it!   
> I also wanted to thank you for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks and tell you that the next chap will have a little time jump! Yeeeeeee! 'cause seriously it was moving at snail pace, my bad, sorry:) Have a nice day:)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably add a bonus this week with what they did on Clarke's birthday, cause I didn't manage to put it in here:(   
> I'm a little unsure if maybe this is a little rushed, so if you want let me knoe what you think:):)

One of the hardest thing for Clarke to do during the time she stayed at Lexa's was watching the woman retire in her room alone. Night after night, she stared at her back while her omega was distancing herself from her.  

It drove her crazy.

She wanted to follow, and sometimes she crept in front of the door and paced, longing to be inside with her.

She didn't know why. She knew it was stupid to torture herself over something that was not in her power. 

It felt wrong at some point to battle her nature and not barge in and take what she wanted. 

There were nights her alpha roared inside her head, unable to find rest and caged in bars of steel will. 

She found herself terrified by the animal inside of her. 

She never lingered to ponder over the violence of her emotion and the blandness of this modern life. 

They were both scattered and opposite in shape and form, yet, they were reality, an impossible oxymoron proof of the chaos of human life.

Was life supposed to be a struggle between martyrdom and freedom? 

She knew what she was asked to do and how to be, but being led was not part of herself. Ever since she hit puberty and the alpha inside of her reared its proud face, nothing was the same. 

Even when her dad was still alive, it was hard to control her.   
   
Abby started to be stricter and controlling. Her sire wanted her to do what she was told, no questions asked, and Clarke always battled her. 

She was the opposite of Jake, who tried to make her understand her mom's ways. 

Together, her parents were giving her the education every alpha should receive, but after the fatal accident, she was left with an overbearing mother and nothing else. 

The only way she found to react was to make her voice louder than her mother. She stopped listening and when her mother did the same with her she left. 

She felt proud doing so. She felt it was the only way to be free. That feeling lasted for months and even before Lexa talked to her, she was second guessing her decision. 

She found many similarities between her situation with Lexa and what happened with her mom. 

She destroyed her relationship with her mom for a moment of bliss, to feel like a god for a few months. 

It was not happening the same with her omega. 

This time it would be Clarke in charge. She didn't care how, but she'd make her animal bend to her will. 

She was the alpha.

….................... 

Time slipped through her fingers.   
   
She couldn't believe how exhausting it was to play by the book. 

Going to school everyday, then work and homework, obviously with Lexa perched on a chair next to her like a hawk, controlling she did all of them.

The first few times, it annoyed her and she started long arguments with the woman that lasted hours and simply made them both lose valuable time in which they could do something useful instead of fighting. 

After a week of that, she gave up and started to appreciate the time spent together.

It was the only time during the day, when they could be themselves and not pretend to be strangers. 

Clarke always stole soft caresses and little touch from those moments spent together, giving weak excuses like she needed to grab something from the piece of furniture Lexa was standing in front of and that was why she rested her hands on her hips, to signal her she needed to move. If the woman pointed out the fact that the alpha always made sure to run her nose over the expanse of her neck and kiss softly her gland. The girl always denied the event, lying shamelessly. 

It was a bonus she always earned a smile from her omega after doing that. 

After sometime Lexa stopped to complain about it and started to gift her with little affectionate gestures. 

She started to kiss Clarke on the cheek every morning, after the alpha dragged herself to the kitchen isle and sat on a stool, saying good morning. 

The first time it happened, the blonde smiled like a fool the entire day, earning glares from her friends for her giddiness.  

She wondered the entire night why Lexa did it and if the action would occur again the next morning and it did. 

When she only wanted to sleep for the entire day, it was the only thing that made her crawl out of bed. 

Lexa also started to caress her face softly with a tender expression randomly during their alone time. 

She never knew what triggered the need to do so in her omega, but never inquired on it, fearful that it would make her stop.

She didn't need a reason if they kept coming. 

Those insignificant touches always made her day, and no matter how exhausted she was sometimes she found herself happier than ever. 

All of the people around her realized it. 

Octavia and Raven cared to externalize their discover while drunk at her birthday party, saying that she didn't look like the grumpy cat constantly anymore. 

She laughed and agreed, giving each of them the beer they required from the alpha. 

She was the only sober enough to open the keg without turning the beer in foam and the only one sober enough to bring it to the two omega. 

The two alphas that were supposed to be their date were already too drunk to fulfill this requirement and even if it was her birthday she happily obliged. 

She also loved to make fun of drunk Anya with Octavia, Raven and Lincoln. She loved that all the other alpha could do was glare and mumble incoherent things. 

She would never admit it, but she was starting to like the girl. 

She was forced to spend her Sunday dinners with her, and after she proclaimed to Lexa that, that day was going to be her lazy day she never managed to get out of them. 

She and Anya started to have some sort of competitive friendship. 

They both showed Lexa their accomplishment, trying to win the unofficial pissing contest that was happening between the two. 

One time, they fought over which one them would set the table. 

Anya, telling her she was too much of a slob, while Clarke was rebutting, telling her she was a stuck up bitch that needed to descent from her pedestal. 

In the end, Lexa settled their arguments by making Lincoln do the work. 

As soon as the teacher was out of earshot, he growled at them that they owed him and that he would collect sooner or later. 

He collected his favor pretty soon, asking her where he could take Octavia out for their first date. 

He seemed to be quite insecure when her answer was at the arcade, but in the end followed her advice.   
   
Octavia said it was the best first date ever, while Clarke kept her smile on lips, hoping she could not see the envy under the mask. 

She was jealous of how easy things went down for her and Lincoln. 

She wanted the same with Lexa. 

She wanted to follow the teacher every time she was leaving the house to go meet with her friends. She wanted to meet them. 

She didn't want to be left at home alone, like she was something the woman should be ashamed of, like she was her dirty little secret. 

She'd never say anything to Lexa, but she was upset when it happened and it happened often. 

The woman had quite the social life, something that surprised the alpha and made a sparkle of jealousy settle in her heart. 

Sometimes when the teacher left the house, Clarke felt so angry that she could barely breath. 

Where is she now?

Who is she with?

Is she seeing someone?

She is mine. 

I should go find her.

What if someone touches her? 

What if she doesn't want to? 

What if she wants them to?

The alpha kept repeating those questions inside her head and always waited for Lexa's return to smell her. 

She always found relieve in doing that.

Lexa always smelled like herself. She never had insistent smells over her that signaled somebody had stayed too close.

She also appreciated that her omega let her made sure there wasn't other scents on her she should worry about. 

She knew that her action were wrong under too many aspects, but she couldn't help it. She needed it to put her mind at ease. 

Lexa spoke the truth that night. She never tried to castrate her. She proved it by letting Clarke smell her. 

The teacher acted dominant only when Clarke was acting overbearing and tried to submit other people to her every whim. 

She never understood how, but Lexa always knew when to let the alpha take the lead to balance the impotent feeling that resided inside of Clarke's heart when it came down to their blurry relationship, if you could call it that. 

Those nights left her drained and frustrated. 

During those nights, Clarke always found herself pacing in front of Lexa's door restless. 

She never knew if her omega could hear her, but she didn't care. 

After months of containing her feelings about it, she confronted her. 

“Who are you texting?” the alpha asked after the woman left her place on the couch to retrieve her phone. 

It was one of the rare night when Clarke had little homework to care about and Lexa little work. 

They always ended up watching TV. 

At first, they always settled on the opposite ends of the couch, but after quite sometime and many attempts from the alpha, she finally managed to conquer the spot next to her omega. 

She even manged to cuddle her without complains. 

“A friend,” Lexa answered giving her little attention, while she was settling herself between the girl's legs, again. 

The couch was L shaped and gave her the option to rest her back on it while the woman rested her back on her front. 

“What's their name?” the alpha asked annoyed, by the brunette's carelessness. 

“Luna.” 

“Is she an alpha?” the blonde asked with venom spilling from her lips and glands.

“She is,” the teacher said placidly, turning her body so that she could face the girl, looking defiantly. 

“Do you fuck her?” she asked with hard voice, freeing submissive pheromones at full force.

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Answer me. Do. You. Fuck. Her?” rationally Clarke knew she didn't because she never found the smell too strong on the woman, but she wanted Lexa to confirm. 

“I'm not answering you!” she said, standing up and starting to leave, but stopped by the alpha who stood up as well.

“We're talking! Don't you dare walk away from me like that!”    

“We're not talking! It's just you screaming at me, and accusing me of things I haven't done! I will not stand here and let you do that!” she screamed back at the blonde and turning around to leave. 

The alpha grabbed her forearm, making her turn around once again. 

“Do you want to fuck her?” 

“This is ridiculous!” 

“It isn't! I don't know where the fuck you go, who you are with, and if they hit on you! I don't know shit! I can't come with you and make sure you don't let them!” 

“I'm not some sex starved dog!” 

“Then answer me! Do you want to fuck her?” 

Instead of using her words, Lexa pushed her back on the couch. Clarke was pretty sure that this time she was going to receive a slap, if the look of pure anger on the woman's face was anything to go by. 

Instead, the omega climbed on top of her, straddling her legs. 

She grabbed a fistful of hair with one hand while the other rested on her neck. 

She tilted Clarke's head upwards, with the alpha completely submitted underneath her and breathed on her lips “You're the only one I want to fuck.” before kissing her. 

The blonde could barely understand what was happening and let the omega slip her tongue in her mouth, ravishing it. 

She felt Lexa lowering her weight on her and start a ferocious rhythm. 

She needed to breath and struggled to free her mouth from the omega's. 

The woman was controlling her every move, the only thing Clarke could do was rest her hands and aid her grinding. 

She could not believe what she was doing when she started to slow her down, with little avail. 

She was thankful that at least Lexa understood that she needed to breath and let go her lips to start sucking a bruise on her gland. 

Clarke threw her head back, while her eyes were rolling in the back of her head. 

“God, Lexa...,” she said breathlessly, while the woman kept grinding on her. 

The alpha hadn't touch anybody since their talk almost three months earlier and had very little time to masturbate.

Having the brunette grind on her was more than she had in weeks, it made her cock hard and her knot showing. 

The hard member was pressed on her stomach between their bodies, while the woman was grinding her core on it. 

It was heaven sent.   
   
Clarke wanted more, but she was afraid that if she asked the woman would stop, so she kept silent, and instead grabbed her omega's ass and every time Lexa was thrusting toward her, she would stop her to grind upward her hard cock. 

The brunette was enjoying the motion and every time she did it, she could feel the sharp intake of breath on her neck, until her omega released her neck to moan. 

She let go of the girl's neck and arched her back, distancing the top of her body from hers, but nearing their pelvises more, holding herself up on the blonde's shoulder and emitting the most sinful sound the alpha ever heard. 

Clarke was left with only the possibility to stare at her. 

She wasn't aware that her resistance was already thin and the vision in front of her made her reach the edge.

She held down her lover's hips, grinding a few more times before releasing her cum inside of her boxers, being aided by the woman that was meeting her every thrust while chocking on a liberating moan of her name. 

She released spur after spur of thick, warm cum, breathless, while the brunette seemed to have no intention to stop. 

It drove her crazy, watching Lexa chase her own orgasm using her body. The only problem was that she was too sensitive to let her finish. 

She grabbed her hips, trying to stop her. Something that wasn't easy and her omega kept bucking her center but with less efficiency. 

“Lex, stop, stop,” the blonde whispered in her ear. Her omega was back at sucking her gland and was paying little attention to anything else. “I can't keep going, I...I've already cum.” 

As soon as the words left her lips, the woman stopped. 

The alpha had no idea of what to do, she was already embarrassed by her performance, so she said “I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't done it in a while and I'm.... I... I can make you cum in an another way if you want.” 

She waited for the brunette to answer her. 

It took quite sometime while the woman kept hiding her face, and Clarke recovered her breath, but finally Lexa met her gaze. 

She seemed to be on the brink of tears.

“Lex..,” the alpha started to talk, while the omega was standing up. 

Of course Clarke stopped her, circling her waist tightly with her arms. 

“I'm sorry,” she said with trembling voice.

“Why are you apologizing?” Clarke asked, staring in the green watery eyes, “It was amazing.” 

If only dry humping Lexa felt so good, Clarke could not fathom how good it would feel to be inside of her. She only hoped to resist more then two thrusts.

“I...I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have jumped on you like that,” she said panicking. 

“Don't. I wanted it, more than you could ever imagine,” she said caressing on of her cheeks “It was amazing. You should never apologize for making me feel good.” 

“Clarke, I...It's wrong. I can't....” 

“No, stop with that!” the blonde cut her off, “It wasn't. We are not wrong. I wanted it and I can decide for myself.”

“Yeah, well I don't think that will avoid me jail,” the brunette sassed, struggling to get off the alpha. 

“It won't happen, Lexa!” the blonde fought to make her stay in her position, “Stop, stop struggling. I just want to talk. Please do it for me. Please?”

Clarke could not believe it, but that sentence made the omega stop. 

She was filled with an immense sense of warmth irradiating through her body from her heart. Lexa listened to her. She stilled her movements for her. Instead of talking, she leaned up giving the woman the time to reject her if she truly wanted and seared her lips in a passionate kiss. 

The alpha kissed softly, sliding her tongue on her bottom lip, asking for permission. After two attempts, it was granted and their tongue started to dance. 

For each one of her caresses, Lexa would reward her with one of her own, whimpering softly after every stroke. 

The two kissed languidly for many minutes, not in a rush to stop.

They only did that when breath came short, 

“Tell me this is wrong,” Clarke whispered on her lover's lips, after her omega rested her forehead on hers, “Look me in the eyes and tell me this is wrong.” 

Lexa opened her mouth over and over again, but no sound managed to make its way out of her throat.         

“We can do this. We can hide from them, until I'm done with school and then what they think won't matter anymore. We can love each other in here. You just have to say yes, and I'm yours.” 

“You still have two years.” Lexa said already defeated. 

“One, I can graduate early if I have enough credits. And then we can move somewhere no one knows us. We can do it Lex. You just have to trust me. I will protect you, from everyone.” 

“Clarke, you-” 

“I can,” she interrupted her ,“No one will know. Trust me.” 

Lexa looked at her for long moments, studying her expression. She searched for insecurities, a wavering heart Clarke did not possess. Anything to make her doubt of the alpha, but there wasn't. 

“I trust you.” 

And then Clarke kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note from your most likely least favorite beta: I am sorry for posting this so late guys. Our loving author wrote this for us on her tablet as her computer is in needs of repairs now. Your beta is a stressed out lesbian in the US..(if you seen the news lately you know why). Here is something to make you all forget the world for the minutes you read. You will be very happy. I hope we got you to smile and grin today. We are not abandoning the story. Read on fan-peoples

* * *

 

 

Thum, thum, thum.

 

That was all Clarke could hear, the frenetic beating of her heart in her ears, insistent, constant and overbearing.

 

She could barely understand her thoughts, but she wasn't thinking much, so it wasn't a problem.

 

Especially, because Lexa was topping her and she loved every second of it.

 

From the frenetic kisses to the fast canting of her hips that thankfully directed their movements to her thigh, instead of her soft cock.

 

It was everything she ever dreamed and at the same time the opposite.

 

In her dreams, Lexa would already be on her knees, getting mounted and knotted from behind.

 

She had to put her head in the fucking game.

 

Not even her first time, she was being so useless.

 

She was going to show Lexa that she could satisfy her woman much better than any other alpha of the past or the future.

 

So she detached her lips from hers, something of which the omega was not satisfied, because the hand holding her neck started to scratch the soft skin, pushing it back were the teacher wanted it.

 

It took an hand under her chin, on the front of her neck to make her back off enough to talk.

 

The look Lexa gave, god, the look she gave her, it was something raw, animalistic, aggressive. It was angered and yearning for revenge.

 

God, that look made her want to submit to her, to an omega.

 

She was a bit scared of it, but she was mostly turned on by the power her omega was emitting, almost as if it was her accomplishment.

 

“Let me go down on you., she ordered, more than suggested.

 

“No.” was all the brunette said with finality, and stopped to push herself toward Clarke, standing up in front of her.

 

“Where are you going?!” the alpha asked, admonishing her and possessively sneaking an arm around her waist.

 

Lexa ignored her and instead fell down to her knees, in between her legs, opening them wide to get closer.

 

Her eyes were fixated on the appendix between her thighs and nothing could take her focus away from it.

 

It was the last time that Clarke could take a breath before Lexa did what she wanted with her.

 

The teacher's hands that were resting on the joints of her legs started to travel upwards toward her pelvis, scratching lightly her skin.

 

When her fingers met the cotton of her boxers, instead of skimming over it, they carried it all the way to the top.

 

The fabric stretched over her member, giving the omega quite the insight of what was hidden behind them.  

 

Lexa bit her bottom lip. Her eyes still on her cock, unmoving.

 

It looked like the woman was an animal starved for days and now was about to get to her prey.

 

And the alpha couldn't wait much longer to feed her.

 

Clarke felt the finger slid over the cotton and hook in the waistband of her boxers, and the eyes she had been staring at, finally met hers.

 

The green in them was vibrant, she could see how little focus they held, hooded and filled with arousal. They were begging for one thing, for her approval, that the alpha promptly gave it with a quick nod of her head.

 

The brunette kept her gaze on her eyes, slowly pulling down the garment, while the blonde raised her hips to help their travel off of her body.

 

When the task was done, Lexa moved her eyes back on her member and let out a surprise gasp before licking her lips delighted.

 

“You're big... bigger than I thought,” she said confident with the sexiest husky tone Clarke had ever heard, leaning down to kiss the skin were her cock met the pelvis, gently.

 

“W-wait for when I'm h-hard,” the student stuttered on her words, earning a tender smile from the brunette knelt in front of her.

 

She wanted them to sound confident. Not like she was an over-agitated pup about to go in hyper ventilation because a beautiful omega was about to give her a blo- “Oh God” she gasped, panting. Who gives a fuck about how she sounded when Lexa had just taken the head of her cock in her mouth?

 

“Fuck,” Clarke moaned to the skies, facing the ceiling.

 

Everything Lexa did was perfect, from her firm fingers massaging her knot, to the pressure she was applying with her tongue on the vein on underside of her cock, to the vibration she emitted every time she hummed or moaned, and the perfect chocked sound she made when the alpha was finally hard and unable to hold her hips down and her her hand away from the chestnut locks.

 

“God, keep going Lex!” Clarke spurred her on before grabbing her hair to have a better visual of her lips wrapped around her hard dick, were they belonged.

 

The omega moaned and started to bob her head faster, while the alpha kept thrusting her hips in time with her.

 

“Fuck, I'm gonna c-cum,” the alpha panted, ready to unload inside the brunette's mouth, but before she could it was gone.

 

Clarke opened her eyes and asked, “Why did you stop?” with her raspy voice low and threatening.

 

“For as much as I want to taste you,” the omega said, standing up to her feet. “I can't help but want to cum, myself, first,” she whispered directly on her ear.

 

Instead of a verbal answer, the alpha pulled both her shorts and panties down her toned legs in one swift movement, getting rid of the offensive garments, while the brunette let out an husky laugh for her eagerness.

 

“Come 'ere” the blonde husked after grabbing her thighs, pulling her in her lap.

 

She grabbed her cock ready to position it for the entrance, but was stopped by Lexa's hands, that after lacing their fingers together brought them over the sun kissed locks against the wall.

 

“Let me do the work,” the teacher breathed on her lips, only an inch away from hers, while the alpha was canting upwards her hips, trying to sneak inside the woman, feeling her wetness in the soft curls she was gliding over.

 

“Do it. Fuck.. just do it.” the alpha whined, losing the little control she had and bearing her neck to her, submitting.

 

Lexa, bit her skin teasingly and with one hand, she grabbed her dick and with the other, she made Clarke look at her face, grabbing her neck, while she sunk on her hard cock.

 

The brunette's face was twisted in an expression of pure concentration, her eyes shut, with sweat falling on her temples and her bottom lip squeezed between her teeth, holding inside the sinful noises the alpha was desperate to hear.

 

The blonde wanted nothing more than to push herself inside to the bottom in one thrust, but now she understood why the omega wanted control. She was fucking tight. No matter how wet she was, and she was dripping, it was hard to push only her head inside.

 

She tried hard not to push, letting the woman go at her pace, but it felt like torture at one point, only stimulated on the tip of her sensitive head. She then gave an hard push with her hips, finally encasing half of her member inside the silky insides of Lexa.

 

She felt her walls quivering, already clenching hard. It wouldn't take long before the both of them would cum, while the omega let out a pitiful whine, letting the upper part of her body fall over hers.

 

“Don't do that ever again!” the brunette growled angry for the alpha's insubordination.

 

“I'm sorry, Lex. It's just...” she started, showing her neck again, “It's just that if you'd let me sta-”

 

“If I'd let you stay on top, I'd be already knotted, Clarke,” the teacher snarled in her ear, biting hard over her gland as a revenge while it was the blonde's turn to let out a whine.

 

“Please Lex. I need you,” she whimpered, hoping for her plea to be heard.

 

And by some miracle the goddess on top of her took pity on her poor subject and decided to fulfill her prayer, slipping through the clouds to wrap the beggar in her love, her acceptance, her lust, her bliss and all of the things that her flesh, her sex represented for a common mortal that did not possess the words to describe this moment, simply because they did not exist.

 

The alpha stilled every movement, enjoying each and everyone of the other gifts this ethereal creature brought with her descent, like the stinging pain of her predatory fangs dissolving from her skin, leaving a warm stain engraved in her mind and body. She wanted nothing more than for the omega to shed a tear of her blood and mix their essences like the sweat to whom it belonged they didn't know no more, and the little seed that was already lost in the blazing fire of her womb, not enough to cause an offspring to bloom, but that it would soon be a tidal wave to release them both of the suffocating need and joy of their first love making. So hard and with hindsight too fast in its imperfection but flawed enough to be real and carved in her memory.            

 

Like the black orbs she saw next, that devoured the green in their wake. When the higher born woman straightened her spine, scratching her way to the flesh of her neck and lifted her center, letting the cold air hit the blessed child in her most delicate part, only to return bringing with her more pleasure than before, and the most melodic sinful syllable that on its own could bring armies full of rough, crude and rugged warriors to their knees, worshiping her like the alpha beneath her, and like her, they would only beg for more, whimpering, moaning, groaning their own guttural, due response to the delightful sound their bodies would make the dark haired beauty produce, that they'll never touch for she belonged only to this alpha.

 

And only this alpha would have the honor of pleasuring her, of being inside of her and make her swell with her seed. Only this alpha would have the pleasure of staring at the hypnotizing peaks that stood from beneath her last damp barrier that left the tender and welcoming body to the mercy of the starved beast she already conceded the privilege of grazing her with her fingers, of darkening her skin with the strength of their hold on her hips and the power of her loins, before her palms traveled to forgotten skin she was now regretting of neglecting. Because for when she did, for when she manipulated the pliant muscles under her fingers, scratching and pitching with both hands each tip the warm rings of muscles that were spoiling her cock clenched harder, quivering and ready to snap and convulse for both their pleasure.

 

“Clarke,” Lexa moaned, bringing her face closer to her bosom with one hand and with the other she raised the cotton, letting the awaiting lips curl around the pebble nub of nerves, sending a new wave of excruciating convulsion to her goddess’ cunt and a shock of crazed satisfaction to tired hips, that could never stop their frenetic fast and short thrusts in the most beautiful oblivion, ready to give all of the fruits of their tireless fatigue.

 

The alpha was not sure for how long she could hold back. She knew from the beginning that her seed would not be wasted anywhere else than in the womb her omega. She wished to fulfill her every need this time, and so she locked her hand on her hip, forcing the woman to stop her movements and then slammed her pride inside just harder, keeping her rhythm, biting on her nipples, and listening to her horse voice scream her name again and again. When she felt her calloused fingers on her own redirecting her hand toward the most delicate bundle of nerves in her body, making sure the alpha knew what she wanted, guiding each slide of her fingers on her clit with firm and precise hand, and rough pressure, bringing an earthquake to her pussy.

 

It was the last thing Clarke remembered clearly of their first mating.

 

Because in between the throbbing of her core and before the first spurt of cum from the blonde's cock, the omega, her omega slipped her knot inside her entrance encasing it there, thundering it with her flesh, tight like the skin of a drum with each snapping of her muscles, while the alpha went crazy, maybe for the pleasure her first knotting brought, the sound of the pop it made getting inside, or just because it was Lexa.

 

She didn't know why. She only slightly remembers her mate's screaming her name before she bit over her gland tasting everything that was Lexa, drinking her in, with her taste buds exploding in her mouth and her fangs pouring all they could inside of her gland. Her hips were frenetically thrusting upwards with absolutely no rhythm, while the omega took her cook perfectly and all of her cum floated her womb, while her balls where tightening and releasing, her eyes rolling in the back of her head, her toes curling and her hands bruising harshly the skin of her hips.

   

* * *

 

 

“You didn't bite me,” Clarke stated placidly, maintaining alive the motion of her hand on the teacher's spine.

 

She won't lie. She was disappointed by the woman's action, or lack of it, but she was more than satisfied with her own.

 

Lexa was hers, only hers, and right now, they were both enjoying the following benefits of the mating thanks to her, well, mostly, because she was not expecting for brunette to take her knot, or let her bite her.  

 

That was why she was not throwing a tantrum like she usually did for everything.

 

“I liked the couch better,” the brunette answered with an hoarse voice, spent and seemingly bored, but only because of her exertion.

 

The alpha turned her head and a little of her body to be able to see where the omega left the imprint of her teeth on the cushion,  and managed to see it with the added bonus of after shocks, due to the fact that they were still tied.

 

Lexa moaned tired, sliding closer, making the pleasure reverberate through their body, extending its duration.

 

She also snuggled closer rubbing her face in the crook of Clarke's neck, kissing over her gland.

 

It felt bittersweet to the alpha to have the consolation prize and not the real thing.

 

“Why?” she wanted at least to know.

 

“It's hard to get rid of one of those,” the brunette stated calmly, not wanting to let the peaceful atmosphere escape from their grasp.

 

“Then why did you let me bite you?”

 

“Because I don't want to get rid of it,” the woman said with shaken voice, heavy of emotion, sneaking an arm around the blonde's neck and another one between her back and the couch, under her tank top.

 

“I don't want to get rid of yours, either,” the girl stated with low fierce voice, moving away the hair that was concealing her lover’s face, before placing a kiss on her jaw.

 

“Clarke, our scent will match,” she sighed. “They will find out. They'll take me away from you,” Lexa whispered on her neck, on the brink of tears, hiding her face against her skin more.

 

Clarke wondered how she could breath when they were so close.

 

“I'm sorry, Lexa,” She whispered in return, earning a rough laugh from her lover.

 

“Because you're young?”

 

“Yeah, I should have been born at least five years earlier,” the alpha said, smiling on the omega's cheek.

 

“I'm sorry for being too old, then,” the woman rebutted, smiling against her neck.

 

“I forgive you,” the blonde chuckled, letting silence fall over them again.


	19. Chapter 19

She didn’t know how it happened but now she was on top of Lexa, in their bed, inside of her, again, thrusting frantically, barely in control of herself, while the omega clung to her.

 

Her back was now an intricate mosaic of red trails, while _her_ nails were still digging into her flesh to complete the masterpiece along with her mouth that was carving an angry red mark on her neck.

 

Clarke loved every second of it, with the lithe body arched and smeared under hers, always trying to reverse their position, still accepting her gift, pliant and eager, meeting each of her movements in the little space the alpha conceded to her lover.

 

While the girl tangled her fingers in the sheets, her hand in chestnut locks, tearing the dirty mouth of her lover away from the forbidden fruit that was her love, only to busy it with her own mouth, only to please her woman with all of herself, to conquer every inch of her already offered in a silent confession of their sins.

 

In that moment she knew.

 

She knew that she was born only to be with Lexa.

 

No one has ever made her feel like this and no one has ever made her need to please them.

 

To love them. Only Lexa. Only Lexa…

 

“I love you so much,” the alpha breathed on her mouth. Her hips moving like a tidal wave, only withdrawing to return with more intensity each time, stronger, deeper, harder, slower, only to please her, only to love her, making her moan, with her sultry voice, rough with her passion but high in tone and eyes tightly shut.

  
She shed their bodies, beholding the sight under her, holding down the wild omega that couldn’t deny her own selfishness anymore. Her own need to be pressed against her lover, now clutching at her ribs trying to pull her down on her again, wrapping her legs around the strong muscles of the alpha’s waist covered in sweat, flexing with each of her effort of pleasing the omega, holding her down with one hand, and with the thumb caressing her bite.

 

Her goddess of sin, always so unruly and wild, always so, so hard to bend to her will and never accepting it.

 

She was now carving a hole in her skull with the intensity of her eyes, battling against her in ways only a seasoned lover could, breaking her resolution down with every sweet caress of her womb on the alpha’s pride, trying to hold down her own bliss for excruciating minutes over petty matters she would not care seconds after. Before she was singing her demise under the girl that was tying their sexes together again, while new galaxies were born behind her eyelids and millions of lives saw light on each rock in them, tasting the black goodness concealed behind already bruised skin with hard unruly thrusts inside her goddess’ reign until she was trembling and unable to breathe nothing, but a string of air in her aching lung, collapsing over her lover’s reckless body.

“Keep going,” her rough voice panted on her temple, not ready to let her worshiper rest after her prey.

 

“Lex, I’m…” the loving alpha was about to refuse for her own good at least she thought.

 

“Just go slow,” the unrelenting omega ordered, demanding to be satisfied over and over again and how could her young lover deny any of her wishes?

 

So she did, starting the soft motion, trembling with her omega, giving her all of herself, in a reckless dance of bodies, while her lover’s womb drained her of all the love she was offering again and again, repaying her with bliss.

 

* * *

 

The young alpha woke up early in the morning, too early after a night of mating, missing her partner.

 

Though her mate was the reason of her rousing.

 

After she rubbed her face against the pillows and inhaling the residual scent of their shared passion, she wore some boxers and the t-shirt that Lexa ripped from her body last night.

 

She was not expecting to be met with the mad thing Lexa had become.

 

When she heard a loud clattering, almost like the sound of a glass breaking in thousand pieces she hurried to kitchen.

 

“Lex, what happened?” she asked, feeling concerned for her omega, because the woman looked on the brink of tears, with her shaking hands in her hair. Her eyes lost, unfocused in the panic swirling around in her brain.

 

“What the fuck have I done?” the woman asked to the thin air, “Shit!”

 

The young alpha hurried toward her lover ready to encase her in her arms, begging to take away all of the pain she could feel her mate was feeling, to take away all of her fears. But she was pushed back against the furniture, away from her.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare!” her omega roared, pointing a finger at her, “You already reek of me!”

 

“Lex, just calm down. We can fix this if you just talk to me,” the alpha pleaded.

 

“Calm down?” the woman mocked her. “How the fuck am I supposed to calm down when we smell the same?” she spat out. “I’m just a fucking idiot… I shouldn’t ever let you get close to me! I should have been stronger!”

 

“I can shower the smell will go away. You didn’t bite…There’s no need to freak out!”

 

“But you bit me! Your knot has been inside of me for hours! I’m just as much inside of you as you are in me!”     

 

“It’s not permanent. It’ll go away. Please, I’m begging you just calm down. I can fix this. We can fix this. But please stop screaming at me…Please,” the alpha begged, moving closer in submission to the omega with her throat tight. She was feeling again like a pup when her mother chastised her for not thinking something through, like she should have, and ended up with a nagging guilt eating at her guts.

 

“I’m sorry,” the omega whispered on her hair, placing a hand in her locks, light scratching the nape of her head, letting her cling to her body like a baby koala, “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m just scared, Clarke. I’m not blaming you. It’s not your fault. It’s impossible to control instincts the first few mating and I should’ve known better. I’m sorry.”

 

The alpha only nuzzled closer, pressing her nose over her biting mark, thinking of how to fix everything. “Maybe I can ask my mum. She’s a doctor, you know. Maybe she’ll help…” she started her sentence hesitant and unsure, but she never managed to finish it.

 

“No,” the omega said almost sternly before using a soft tone again, starting her movement in her hair again. “I’m going to end up in jail right away if she finds out. She can’t know anything about us.” Then the teacher sighed. “I have a plan. I was just… I just needed to let out the steam. I was trying to calm down before you’d wake up. It didn’t work very well,” she laughed a humorless laugh.

 

“I’ll do anything you want me to do,” the alpha said as she raised her head, looking determined in her lover’s eyes.

 

“Just don’t say that, before you know what this is about.”

 

“Then explain it to me.”

 

Lexa disentangled herself from the blonde, reaching to the plastic bag on the counter, and pulling out a small box of pills. “I’ve asked the pharmacist on the other side of town and she said you won’t start to metabolize my hormones for a while. She told me those pills don’t work if taken after 12 or 15 hours, so we’re still in time and that you’ll most likely sweat out so much after you’ve taken those that the hormones you’ve absorbed throughout the skin will be expelled like that.”

 

“That’s great!” the alpha said almost beaming. “How many of those do I take?” she said, trying to grab them from Lexa’s hands that took them away from her grasp.

 

“Clarke, those pills are the same used for gastric lavage. You’re going to throw up for days, and you won’t be able to eat too. You’ll barely hold down water. This isn’t a toy. This stuff is serious, so take it seriously!”

 

“I’m taking it seriously!” the alpha defended herself. “This isn’t a game for me Lexa, and if I can help you in anyway. I’ll do it. I don’t care if I’ll be sick for a few days if you’re safe for the long run,” she said and then caressed the biting mark with her thumb, “This isn’t a game to me.”

 

Her omega smiled and casted her eyes away from hers, blushing, before kissing the palm of her hand, earning a sweet kiss from the blonde girl.

 

“Are you going to get rid of this?” she asked, referring to the biting mark she was still caressing.

 

“I can’t. It’s not so easy with this.” she sighed, feeling frustrated.

 

“Why?” Clarke had absolutely no idea of how a biting mark could be dissolved. Nobody talked about it, like it was something you be ashamed of. In school, they always taught it’s impossible to get rid of it so she always thought if you bite, you’re stuck with it. Even if right now she didn’t mind one bit being stuck.

 

“Because it’s a pain in the ass,” the omega grunted, “You have to go through psychological evaluation, only that takes almost a year, and then you’ll have to stay in hospital for the duration of the treatment and it hurts. It feels like they’re pumping bleach through your veins, trying to destroy something that has its root deep inside of you without killing you. In some cases, the treatment doesn’t work at all and some others the patient ends up dead or with severe damages for the rest of their life. The shit they put in your body could destroy in one blow, pancreas, kidneys and liver. But when you just want to get rid of the constant reminder that your mate is dead, that they just don’t want anything to do with you anymore or that you never wanted to be their mate, that nothing could make it go away, that you can’t move on because no matter how much you’re bitten over it, it will always stay with you. When you start believing death doesn’t look as scary as it used to, that’s when they start the treatment.”

 

The young girl gulped. Even if Lexa was trying to hide she felt the sorrow behind her words, she knew all she was saying was because she went through it. “But you’re ok, right? I mean you don’t have problems. You got out of it just fine.”

 

“Yeah, kind of. I have diabetes, but it’s minor and I can deal with it.”

 

“I can start helping you with it,” Clarke offered, eager to be of any use, now she realized what the little vials in the fridge were, and the reason of following the healthy diet. She felt an ass for not asking about them before. “I can give you the injections. My mum taught me how to do them.”

 

“I can take care of it. You don’t have to worry,” the brunette said as she smiled and kissed her sweetly for a few seconds, making the alpha want for more.

 

“We still have time, before I have to take the pills,” she breathed on Lexa’s lips, while her hands were already unbuttoning her jeans, and pulling them down her legs with her panties.

 

“No wait… wait,” the omega said unconvinced by her own words, already panting for her alpha. “I have to go to work. I don’t think we should stay ho- Oh my God!” she moaned when the blonde had planted her mouth over her clit, ignoring her words, after she threw one of her legs over her shoulder while she gripped tightly the counter behind her bottom.

 

The alpha licked and sucked at everything Lexa was giving her, eager to please her enjoying each of her sinful sounds, humming pleasured for her lover’s taste and roughness. She simply loved the way her omega used her face to rub her sex and chase after her orgasm, but before she could catch it, she retreated standing up to get rid of her boxers, while the brunette, already sprawled on the counted, reached for the forgotten plastic bag, and the alpha was already entering her mate.

 

“Wear this,” the omega moaned with her back already arched to have her body pressed against her lover’s.

 

“You’re joking?” the alpha asked unamused when she realized her omega was giving her a condom, between thrusts.

 

“I’ve already taken the morning after pill,” she panted against her ear. “I don’t want to risk it. Wear it or stop,” she ordered. This time she was sure of her statement. 

 

“Fine,” she growled, snatching the little packet from Lexa’s hands, and giving one last strong thrust before pulling out to her dismay and opening it with her teeth, still glaring at Lexa, who was watching her while rubbing her clit with two fingers, waiting for the alpha to put on the protection. 

 

As soon as she was done, she plunged back in, slamming herself inside making her omega release all of the air in her lungs in one obscene huff, and bearing her neck, still rubbing her clit, before lowering her body and keeping her punitive pace.

 

“They’re small,” she growled on her exposed skin.

 

“They’re the biggest I’ve found,” the omega panted before moaning, “I’ll buy you new ones,” while the alpha was pulling her back against herself, making her slide on the marble.

 

“I can buy my own condoms,” she growled, going even faster and harder.

 

“Clarke, I’m-” the brunette didn’t even finished her sentence before her womb closed over the hard shaft of her alpha, bringing Clarke to her own release panting and grunting, milked by her lover’s soft walls, kissing her with all the passion she could muster.

 

“I love you,” she said when she needed air, still riding their aftershocks, working on the teacher’s neck to bruise a new mark.

 

* * *

 

“That’s fucking bleach,” the alpha affirmed disgusted, passing the bottle she was holding back to Lexa.

 

“It’s not bleach,” the omega countered, “It just smells like it.”

 

“Then what’s the difference?”

 

“That it doesn’t burn your skin, and that you’re going to shower with this even if you end up smelling like bleach,” the brunette ordered, “You have to use it before leaving the house so that you won’t smell like me just because we’ve been in the same room.”

 

“But I love smelling like you,” the blonde grumbled under her breath.

 

“I don’t care,” the brunette said chirper than ever, even smelling like mostly bleach. Clarke was pretty sure it was because of the 3 orgasms the alpha had given her.

 

“Are you ready to take the pills?” the woman asked, already losing her cheerfulness, presenting to the alpha a glass of water and two pink tablets.

 

“Yeah, Lex relax. It’s not like I’m dying. I’ll just be sick for a few days. No big deal.”

 

“Maybe I can stay home with you to make sure you’re all right. I mean no one is gonna think anything bad if we’re not in school the same days,” Lexa asked, abusing of her lower lip with her teeth.

 

“No, you’re right. We can’t take the same days off. Relax, I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time I’m throwing up.” the alpha assured the teacher.

 

“Just keep the phone near you and text me or call me if you need anything. I’ll keep mine near. Please, Clarke promise me.”  

 

“Yeah, I promise. Now go or you’ll be late,” the alpha said, kissing the gauze that covered her bite and her lips.

 

“Ok, I’ll be back as soon as I can. I just have three classes today and I’ll skip the reunion. I’ll ask Maya what they talked about and then I’m back.”

 

“I didn’t think you were the apprehensive type now leave!” the alpha chuckled, opening the door for her mate.

 

“Fine, just keep your phone near.”

 

“Sure, bye!” the alpha chuckled, closing the door, amused because her omega was fussing over her.

 

She went to look at the pills, giving them a nasty look, before grabbing them and swallowing it all with the entire glass of water.

 

“Disgusting,” she muttered when she was done, waiting for the first symptoms of sickness, that didn’t arrive right away.

 

Piece of cake, she thought.

 

* * *

 

Less than half an hour later, the blonde was lying on the bathroom floor.

 

She loved the cool sensation it brought. Her body shaken by the heaving and the retching. Her trembling fingers held down the floor when it tried to move to bury her. Her throat held back an acid desert and her stomach pure poison.

 

She had already finished to shed herself of the food and everything she had been eating for the past ten years and now, only her bile was raising from her guts to her mouth, live fire ready to be released.

 

She was glad that she managed to answer the text her friend sent her. She had forgotten that Octavia and Raven had their first period with Lexa. It recited.

 

OctaviaTheGrounder: What the fuck did you do?

 

Princesa: I’ll explain everything on Monday. I’m sick so I’m staying for a few days.

 

And then, it started, the piercing pain in her gut. The riot. The shaking hands and the sweating, it all came right before the first surge of her insides that lasted for minutes that felt like hours.

 

She never thought of it, but when you’re drunk it’s a lot easier.

 

RavenJay: Right now, Clarke!

 

Princesa: Sijck. Mpndsay.

 

And that was the last thing she managed to do for Lexa, before it all started again.

 

It was like a purge, a fatidic literal rendition of the world.

 

She was sure this must have been her punishment for biting the forbidden fruit.

 

And God liked to act fucking fast.

 

“Not again, please,” she whispered to the heavy air, shedding desperate tears, before the strength of the retching brought new painful ones.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa found her in that exact same spot when she came back home, falling in and out of consciousness. She wanted to sleep so badly but the pain was bringing her back every few minutes, her head exploding and her eyes pulsing. 

 

Nothing was coming out of her anymore. She just felt the need to expel her own organs.

 

She was an aching mess. The bun containing her hair useless while they fell back on her sticking forehead and she had long given up at cleaning the mess her face had become with every fluid she had expelled, when her beautiful mate came to her rescue.

 

It was all made in somber silence. The omega’s guilt obvious in her tender eyes, while she was disposing a towel under her shivering body and one under her throbbing head, before cleaning her face with a damp one and placing her mane back in its place.

 

She cuddled there on the bathroom floor, curled around her aching bones, whispering just once “I’m sorry.”

 

It was almost like she knew Clarke couldn’t deal with it, like she knew she couldn’t anything to stop the tears and wrecking sobs that were now escaping the alpha’s lips.

 

Even the blonde didn’t know why she was crying. Maybe it was her frustration, her pain. She didn’t give a fuck about what it was but God, it just felt right so she kept weeping and weeping letting her omega hold her.

 

* * *

 

Fearless Lexa, took her back to bed when she finally stopped crying and sleep seemed possible for more than 5 minutes at a time. She knew the alpha would never manage to stand up enough to shower and put her to bed and then cuddled her again.

 

* * *

 

The night was restless. She kept turning around in bed succumbing to the pain, trying to fuse with the material, whining and moaning pitifully, while her lover was there, witnessing her pain, not sleeping with her.

 

* * *

 

She woke up, after one of the few times she managed to actually sleep that night to an empty bed.

 

She could hear some clattering from the other room and waited for the omega to come back. She felt too weak to walk and her head was never stopping to spin.

 

“Hey,” she heard Lexa’s tender voice say, “Do you want to try to drink some water?”

 

She simply shook her head, keeping her eyes closed and her face pressed in the mattress.

 

“Come on. Try to sit up, babe,” Lexa cooed, “You need to drink.”

 

She signaled no again, while the omega put insistent hand on her bicep.

 

“Clarke, please, you have to drink. You spend the whole day throwing up yesterday. You’re going to be dehydrated if you don’t. You need to try at least.”

 

“No,” the alpha tried to growl but instead she barely whispered painfully. Still Lexa seemed hurt by it and angry.

 

“That’s it. I’m calling 911!” she said frustrated, “This is getting out hand. Shit. I can’t risk your health anymore.”

 

“Wait!” the blonde whispered again, grabbing her wrist before she could reach the phone, “I’ll do it.”

 

“It’s better if I call, Clarke,” the omega said stoically, “This has gone way too far. It’s better if I stay in jail. Look at what I did to you.”

 

“Then it’s for nothing,” she huffed.

 

“What?” the omega asked, unable to decipher what was coming out of her mouth.

 

“I’ve done this for nothing, if you call. It’s for nothing,” she whispered hoarsely, looking straight on her eyes, commanding her to stop, “I’m fine. Help me to sit, please.”

 

The woman did and positioned a basin on her legs, bringing water to her lips.

 

The first few attempts were fruitless. The alpha’s guts kept rejecting everything, heaving to every sip. Finally after many painful attempts, she drank. The omega smiled at her success.

 

“Do you want me to stay home?” the teacher almost pleaded to her, to be relieved of her duties, but Clarke denied it. It was risky.

 

So she left her alpha back in bed, promising to the blonde a warm bath in the evening, leaving the annoying water on the night stand.

 

* * *

 

The blonde slept throughout the whole day. It was evening when Lexa came to rouse her, taking her directly to the bathroom to brush her teeth, something that almost started the retching again and then stripped her.

 

Her omega washed her hair and body, and God for how much the alpha wanted to turn the encounter into a sexual one. However her body did not seem to agree.

 

Even when her beautiful woman washed her most intimate parts it gave no effect at all. Now she really understood impotence.

 

“This feels amazing,” the blonde said, her voice rougher than usual and sore.

 

“I agree,” the omega hummed from behind her in the tub, filled with warm water and something that smelled like pine.

 

“I’m sorry for being such a whiney bastard,” the alpha apologized. She was sick and in true stereotype fashion, she had turned in an annoying, whiney and dramatic alpha.

 

“I’ve had worse,” the woman chuckled, “I was just worried for you.”

 

“Let me guess, Anya?”

 

“Lincoln,” the teacher deadpanned, making the blonde laugh, “He wanted me to feed him when he had flu.”

 

“Oh, my God, that guy’s an idiot,” the girl said, chuckling.

 

“I agree. He always said to me that if something happened to him, Anya could not have his XBox.”

 

“Wait there’s an XBox, in here?” the alpha registered only that, not understanding how she could have missed it.

 

“No,” the brunette chuckled, “Anya threw it out of the window during a fight with Lincoln.”

 

“That girl is evil.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys so good news and bad news. Good news first we have chapter 20 in the works right now. Bad news is that after its posting, you won't be getting another chapter until April....Things are getting a little busy for the two of us this month. I apologize -hides the author and tries to be brave beta- We love you guys and will try to have chapter 20 out soon. I hope you guys are willing to wait for our lovely WeAllGotLeftBehind


	20. Chapter 20

* * *

 

Clarke was walking toward the school. Lexa suggested her to stay home today as well, but the alpha refused.

 

She was sick of staying home. She was sick of staying home, alone.

 

The weekend flew by. Just her and Lexa cuddling, on the couch, on the bed, in the bath tub, everywhere.

 

Just the two of them, learning about each other, thriving in their little pink bubble.

 

Anya and Lincoln also didn’t come this Sunday to have dinner with their ‘mother’.

 

Lexa was fearful of what they’d say when they’d see what the alpha did to her, so she lied to the two of them, saying she was busy with work, some tests she really, really needed to correct and mark.

 

Lexa was going to tell them when she felt ready.

 

The blonde also made sure to intimate to her two omega friends to keep their mouth shut about it. She had never been happier that her friends had a long (even if it was only an hour and half distance by train) distance relationship.

 

And considering they knew that Clarke had a thing for the young teacher who was now bitten they had assumed it was the blonde alpha who was the culprit.

 

Her suspicion was also confirmed by the brunette that investigated on why the two omegas were sending her nasty glares throughout her lessons. Lexa pretended to ask candidly about it, but the alpha could see under the false act of her naive questions.

 

The teacher had already picked up the motives behind Octavia’s angry glances and Raven’s smug smiles. She knew, they knew and then dropped a “If you trust them, I trust them” after Clarke’s failed attempt to deny their knowledge.

 

“They found out at the ice cream shop, with Lincoln. I never confirmed or negated their suspects,” the alpha sighed, already defeated. The lecture that Lexa was about to give her was well earned.

 

“They are smart girls, and they also knew to look for signs, I can’t say I’m surprised,” the omega sighed, “It was bound to happen, secrets can’t be kept forever. It is better them than someone less malleable.”

 

“Malleable?”

 

“Well, I trust you can convince them to not disclose our relationship status.”

 

“You know that there is something called free will, right?” the blonde smirked, teasing the woman.

 

“With a face like this? And those eyes?” the brunette smirked to her, “I believe they cannot deny any of your wishes.”

 

“Can you?”

 

“I can’t,” Lexa said earnestly, leaning down to kiss her and grant the alpha all of her wishes.  

 

But before she could dive in her memories of yesterday, her arm was grabbed by a tiny strong hand and she was yanked toward a secluded area of the school parking lot.

 

The usually fervent alpha only grunted to the mistreating the owner of the hand imposed to her tired body.

 

Those pills were shit.

 

“What the fuck happened?” was the first thing Raven said when her minion brought the blonde to her. “Are you ok?” she then asked after she metabolized the other’s girl appearance.

 

Dark blue circles under her eyes, dropping eyelids and the loose jeans she was wearing, well looser than usual. Spending an entire day throwing up and the next three only managing to ingest soup did that to a person, maybe she should have stayed home that day as well.

 

“I’m fine,” she almost snarled. “I told you I’ve been sick,” she said glaring to Octavia for her poor approach.

 

“What did she do to you?” this time Octavia’s voice came sharp as knife, trying to cut through her skin, sinking deep in her heart.

 

“She did nothing!” the alpha hissed, annoyed by the brunette’s typical self-assured righteousness. God she loved Octavia with all of her heart, how fierce, loyal and compassionate she was. But she hated how she always thought only her opinion was the right one, the one that mattered and walked as if she was born on a higher level.

 

“Why were you sick?” Raven asked before the two of them could start a fight.

 

“I had the stomach flu,” the alpha deadpanned.

 

Octavia scoffed, not buying the lie “Yeah sure. Let me guess you also didn’t bite Miss Woods,” she said sarcastic.

 

“I haven’t,” the blonde said seething, lying to their faces.

 

“She smells like you, Clarke. Don’t lie,” Raven coaxed with a soft voice.

 

“No, she doesn’t smell like me. It could have been any other alpha that resembled my scent. It doesn’t mean it was me,” Clarke gritted through her teeth, “And I don’t smell like her, so you can’t prove anything.”

 

“Why are you doing this?” the shorter brunette asked, her voice rough and accusatory.

 

“The hell you’re talking about?” the blonde kept talking with her dry and angered tone, keeping her sentences short, disclosing nothing about herself.

 

“Why do you keep talking to us, like we’re the enemy?”   


“Because you are,” the alpha answered in kind, “You’re trying to destroy everything that keeps me sane right now. The only good thing that has happened to me in the last year, so yes you are the enemy and I will deny everything ‘till my dying breath if I have to.”

 

“Clarke, we are your friends. We’re your people!” Octavia said confident “We don’t want the Finn situation to happen again. We’re trying to protect you.”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare to bring him up!” the alpha growled, low and menacing, “She’s not like him! She doesn’t want an alpha to bend on a table and fuck! She has never tried anything with me! She just wanted to help me and that’s it. I’ve been better than I’ve ever been and you need to stop. It’s my decision and I won’t let anybody take that away from me!”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Clarke!” this time Raven spoke “You don’t see it, but she’s messing with your head! She’s trying to isolate you, making you push away the people that loves you!”

 

“No, you’re the only one that’s doing it! She never told me to stop talking to anybody. She lets me take my decisions and she encourages me to follow them. She’s been encouraging me to talk to my mum and Wells, to finally alpha the fuck up and face my mistakes, and she is the only one that cares enough for me to put her life on the line to stay with me! So this is enough, I won’t let you talk shit about her when the only things you can do is criticize my decisions. If you really cared for me, you’ll just accept it or leave us the fuck alone!” the alpha growled throughout her entire speech, before turning her back to her friends and going to class, hoping that they’d finally respect her judgement.

 

* * *

 

“Wells! E-hi! Wells stop!” the blonde said running after the other alpha. “Jeez, you walk fast!” she panted when the boy finally stopped to face her with hard features and cold eyes.

 

“What do you want?” he asked, annoyed by her presence.

 

“I just wanted to talk. If that’s ok with you?” the girl said, sporting an insecure smile.

 

“I have nothing to say,” the other alpha spit through gritted teeth.

 

“But I have, you just need to listen and I won’t take much of your time. I promise!”

 

“Fine. Talk.”

 

“Uhg, do you wanna go somewhere a little more private?” the blonde asked, considering they were standing near the cafeteria entrance and every students that passed them was giving them curious looks, some even hovered near them, greedy for new gossip.

 

“Yeah, lead the way,” the boy agreed after he looked around himself.

 

Clarke brought him to the bleachers that were thankfully free of students and then sat in front of her friend.

 

“So, uhm, I wanted to say I’m sorry for everything.”

 

“Wow that was a great speech. You’re forgiven! Nice talking to you!” Wells said sarcastic, standing up to get ready to leave.

 

“No wait!” the blonde said, grabbing his hand and making him sit again, “I didn’t know you and Niylah were a thing, and I know I’m an egoistic jerk for not even knowing the things that were going on in your life. I’m sorry, ok? I just want to be friends again.”

 

“I don’t care about that,” the boy sighed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Exactly what I said. I liked Niylah. Don’t get me wrong, but that was it. She likes drama and I don’t. Now that it doesn’t matter anymore. I can see it clearly for what it was. I really don’t care about that,” he shrugged.

 

“So you’re not mad at me for that?” the blonde asked, tilting her head on the side like a lost puppy.

 

“No, I’m not mad at you for that,” Wells said.

 

“So I guess we’re cool, I mean we can be friends again. We can be us again.”

 

“Clarke,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, frustrated by her words, “We haven’t been us since we started high school. You made new friends, and you left me on the side. I don’t blame you for this. I tried to make new friends as well, but us being not friends isn’t because you made a mistake at a party. This is you leaving me behind...”

 

“That’s not true! You always go out with us! The guys are your friends too!”

 

“Clarke, the only one that has ever tried to be friendly with me is Bellamy. I only hung out with them because you were there! But I never fit in,” he sighed, “This doesn’t matter anymore. I’m leaving at the end of the school year. This is pointless.” 

 

“Wait! Why?”

 

“I-I can’t stay here,” he said, licking his lips, “My dad, h- I think he has gone mad. I don’t want to live with him anymore.” 

 

“Thelonious?” Clarke asked surprised. She knew the man since she was a child. He was a good alpha, equilibrated, nice and serious, a lot like Wells. “What happened?” the girl asked, dead serious.

 

“It’s none of your business,” Wells snapped.

 

“I want to help you, Wells. But I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” the blonde said earnestly.

 

“You just want to feel good with yourself. Now that you think I’ve got a problem, you want to help me and be my friend! I’m not some sort of toy you can use to fulfill your superhero complex and when you’re done, you can go back at ignoring me.”

 

“I’m not doing that!” this time Clarke sighed, realizing all of her nerves with it, staring at her shoes, frightful of a well-earned refusal, “I’m the one who needs you. I’m the one that needs help, ok? I’m the one that needs a friend, but it doesn’t mean I can’t help you too.” 

 

Silence settled on them.

 

It took way too many heartbeats for Wells to say anything and when he did, it surprised Clarke.

 

“You’re an asshole,” he said with a shaking voice, making the other alpha raise her head to look in teary chocolate eyes, “I always forget how good you are at speeches.”

 

“I’ve got a gift, but seriously Wells, I don’t want to lose you,” the blonde said earnestly, touched by her friend’s commotion. They must look like idiots, crying but smiling at the same time.

 

“Uhm, maybe we can try and put everything behind before I leave. I mean it’s just a month but we can still try and keep in touch, while I’m away,” he said tentative.

 

“Yeah I want that! We’re such saps.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke and Wells made plans to see each other when the blonde was done with work. He even agreed to be her tutor in math until he had to move and the alpha was now hovering in front of the English class, waiting for the students to leave, so she could inform her mate of her improvements.

 

It didn’t look suspicious. She was just going in the class to ask about homework. She did it in all of the previous classes, so that she knew everything that she had missed while staying home.

 

Before she could enter the class, she realized that Murphy stopped by. The boy was talking to Lexa, and Lexa didn’t seem happy at all with the topic of their discussion.

 

The alpha tried to stay out of it, battling her instincts to go and comfort the woman that was now rubbing her face in frustration, while the boy was smirking to her.

 

Clarke observed the two and considering the frustration on the woman’s face and the boy’s smirk, she was pretty sure that Murphy had find out.

 

She was picturing all the worst case scenarios and before she could think it through she entered the class.

 

“Uhm, can I talk to you, Miss Woods?” the alpha said after she earned the two omegas attention.

 

“Yes, come in Miss Griffin,” the teacher said, gesturing for her to approach her desk. “John, I’ll look into it that is all I can promise,” the woman said, sighing.

 

“I’m not lying.”

 

“I know, but maybe there is another explanation for this. We can’t just jump to conclusion without knowing for sure.”

 

“Whatever,” Murphy scoffed, “I told you so I’m done with this shit.”

 

“John,” the woman reprimanded him, exasperated.

 

“Sorry, crap. See you around Miss Woods,” he smirked again and then left the classroom.

 

“What was that about?” Clarke asked as soon as the boy was out of earshot.

 

“Nothing he can prove.”

 

“What do you mean?” the blonde said, already panicking, “You think he knows about us?”

 

“No, no, he doesn’t. He told me something about Cage and I really hope he’s wrong,” Lexa admitted with a faraway look.

 

“Ehi, what did he tell you?” the alpha asked, trying to keep her hands to herself away from the woman she wanted to comfort.

 

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. What did you want to tell me, anyway?”

 

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m meeting with Wells at the library, so I’ll be home later than usual. He also agreed to be my math tutor,” the girl said beaming.

 

“I thought Raven was your tutor and that you had a fight with Wells.”

 

“No, I don’t think I’ll be talking to her very soon and she always spent our time studying, screaming at me for not understanding her explanations. I sorted things out with Wells today, so we’re good.”

 

“What do you mean?” the teacher said, feeling concerned, “I thought you were supposed to talk to them, not fight.”

 

“I told them to butt out of my business, that’s it. They can’t prove anything and they know it. We’re safe. Don’t worry about that. Sooner or later they’ll forget about it.”

 

Lexa looked in her eyes for a little longer before surrendering. “Fine. I trust you,” she said, sighing again, “Do you need a ride to the coffee shop?”

 

“No I’ll walk there. I still got half an hour to waste away,” the blonde said, smiling.

 

“Ok, so, I’ll see you back home?” the brunette asked, biting her bottom lip, craving for the blonde’s touch, but refusing to take action.

 

“Yeah,” the girl said, stepping closer to her, recklessly submitting to her own desires, her need to touch her mate.

 

“Then go,” Lexa said, freezing her, pinning her in place with cold eyes.

 

It hurt Clarke, but she knew it was better that way. She knew that it was better that Lexa kept control of both of their instincts even if it hurt.

 

“Ok,” the alpha said at last, leaving her omega behind.

 

* * *

 

Clarke strolled calmly from the library to her place, chewing on an apple Wells had offered her.

 

She and the boy had been catching up. Wells talked to her about how his dad has gone crazy about this weird cult, The City of Light, and that he kept rambling about the fact that there is no pain and no death in it. It was paradise on heart and all it took to join was swallowing an abnormally large pill.

 

The boy even showed it to her, and Clarke was baffled by the fact that Thelonious had managed to swallow it without water. It seriously surprised her.

 

His dad had been trying to convince him to join the cult. Wells had refused every time, but now he was starting to be disturbing, more and more zealous in his sermons.

 

His mum agreed with him. It was better if he stopped to live with him, but considering that Wells had always been a kind hearted boy, he didn’t want to leave Thelonious until he tried his best to make him see reasons.

 

He also said that Thelonious started with this after her father’s death. He felt guilty for it, after all he was Jake’s boss and he was the one supposed to make sure their work environment was safe. After he took that pill, Wells said he forgot about everything.

 

He didn’t even recognize the other’s man face and only talked about the cult.

 

Clarke felt sick to her stomach. How could anybody forget everything about a friendship that lasted almost 30 years?  

 

“Is he hurting you? Trying to make you take the pill with strength?”

 

“No, no he’s not!” Wells said, almost jumping in his seat, “It’s not how this works. You can only take it on your own volition. You can be persuaded into it, but not forced…Now that’s enough about me. How are you doing?”

 

The blonde hoped this month could go by faster for him, but for herself, she hoped it would freeze.

 

She told him that she wanted to talk to her mum, that now she was finally starting to understand her position. That she wanted to make amends for leaving while she was grieving over her dead husband, over her father.

 

She also told him she had found a place and that she had a girlfriend now, a real one but couldn’t say the name. It was a secret.

 

“Oh, ok. I get it’s Beyoncé!” he said,, excited.

 

They went on with him trying to guess and then proceeded with math.  

 

She was thankful that Wells was a much more patient teacher than Raven and that she had finally understood equation. She even asked Wells if that was it, because she had been trying to learn them for the entire year and just now, in less than two hours of studying, she understood them.

 

“That’s it, Clarke,” the boy said, laughing, “They’re pretty simple as long as they are explained well.”

 

The blonde agreed with him and after almost four hours spent with the boy catching up and studying, she decided to head home, saying goodbye to him.        

 

She entered her house, panting, because seriously? Seven flight of stairs? And no elevator?

 

“Babe, I’m home!” she said as soon as she caught her breath. She had been waiting the entire day to do that.

 

Lexa didn’t even turn her head as if she didn’t even hear her.

 

The woman was seated on a chair at the table.

 

Essays were sprawled all over it, but awaiting to be corrected and marked.

 

The brunette was ignoring them, favoring the wall in front of her, with pensive eyes and arms crossed on her chest.

 

“Lex, are you ok?” Clarke asked, startling the omega with a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Uhm, yes, everything’s fine. I didn’t hear you come back.”

 

“That’s ok,” the girl smiled, pecking the woman’s lips now that she could.

 

“There’s food on the counter if you’re hungry,” the brunette said, distracted.

 

“Did you eat already?” the blonde asked.

 

“Not hungry,” the woman said, reaching out to all the sheets that were spread on the table and ready to put them away.

 

“Lex,” the alpha stopped her with gentle hands on her biceps, “What is it?”

 

“It’s what Murphy said,” the brunette sighed.

 

“Tell me.”

 

“I don’t want to bother you with this. It shouldn’t concern you.”

 

Clarke patted the chair from which Lexa stood to make her sit again. “Lex, I’m your girlfriend. If something bothers you, it bothers me too.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m getting lectured from a teenager on healthy relationship,” the teacher sighed, only earning a glare from Clarke who was now stuffing her face with food, “He said he saw Cage buy something from one of his father’s friends.”

 

The alpha only raised an eyebrow at that prompting Lexa to continue her story.

 

“Well, to explain why this is bothersome, I have to explain Murphy’s story. When John was about 5 years old, he started to be sick. His illness attacked lungs from what Costia told me, so he was recovered in the hospital. His family, a working class family on minimum wage, couldn’t afford the hospital’s bills and Jack Murphy started to get involved with sketchy people. He became a drug dealer and I’m not talking about weed. I’m talking about cocaine and heroin. He needed a lot of money and he needed them fast. He was ready to do anything for his family’s wellbeing and the money coming from selling. Even if more than he’s ever seen in his life, it wasn’t enough, so he started to guard and move the drugs, and that was when the police decided to burst into the storehouse. That night officer Samwell Thompson died for a shot wound and Jackson Murphy was sentenced to death two weeks later. He claimed his innocence until his dying day. Nobody really knows who fired the gun and all of the gang members pointed their finger to the outside man. That is why talking to one of Jackson Murphy’s “friend” isn’t something I can’t take lightly.”

 

“I think you should tell the police,” Clarke said, pushing the almost full plate away from her, having lost her appetite.

 

“I can’t do that,” Lexa said, swallowing, “I can’t send Dante’s son to jail. I can’t do that to him.”

 

“But you can’t let it go either,” the alpha concluded for her, sighing.

 

“He could be dangerous for the students. I don’t know what to do,” the woman sighed, rubbing her hands on her face.

 

“Lex, this is something big. Bigger than you. I don’t think you should deal with this.”

 

“I have to Clarke,” the woman said stubbornly. “If I don’t, who else will? I don’t want someone to get hurt for people to do something.”

 

“Then go to the police. That’s what they are for!”

 

“I can’t do that.”

 

“Then what Lexa? You’re going to take down an entire criminal organization on your own and proceed to save the world? Think about what the fuck you’re doing! You could get hurt. You’re not bulletproof. Please think about yourself for once!”

 

“You don’t understand!” Lexa roared frustrated, standing up, “Dante gave me a job when I was a mess! When I knew nothing about teaching and I was more of a soldier than a civilian, when I thought that around every turn there was someone ready to shoot at me! I know where my loyalty lies! I won’t betray him!”

 

“This is about Cage!” Clarke stood up as well.

 

“He is his son!”

 

“I don’t give a fuck! You can’t do that and that’s the end of the story!” the alpha roared this time. If Lexa wasn’t going to see reason, she’ll make her. She would control her omega. It wasn’t a petty fight. This was something more. The woman needed to understand it was time for her to back down, to listen to her alpha.

 

Lexa stared at her, astonished. She stood there, battling each pheromone thrown at her, until the room was crowded and divided between the omega’s acid resistance and the alpha’s blizzard.

 

“I will never let another alpha think they control me,” Lexa snarled coldly, “Don’t you dare to think that only because I’ve taken your knot you can dictate my life. Listen carefully Clarke, because this is the only time I will tell you. I will do as please, always, and you can do nothing to stop me.”

 

“Why?!” the blonde surged forward, grabbing Lexa’s wrists to push her arms on the wall where she cornered the teacher. “Then why did you take it? If you don’t fucking listen to me?” the blonde yelled, before dropping her voice threateningly. “Because you’re the one that took it. You were the one to jump on me, to knot yourself over me. Now, tell me Lexa, if you don’t want a mate, why did you take it?” the alpha didn’t wait for an answer she only pushed the omega flat against the wall, trying to stop her attempts at freeing her arms. “Or did you just want a silent fuck toy to please you?!” Clarke roared, while the brunette managed to free her right hand and her five fingers made contact on her cheek with a harsh sound. The girl felt her skin tear where her ring landed, stumbling back.

 

“If you touch me again, if you dare to grab me like that again, you will be out of this house, out of my life forever,” this time the woman growled menacingly, only a few inches away from the girl’s nose, passing her ready to end the discussion. 

 

“We’re not done talking!” the alpha growled, ready to grab her wrist, disregarding the omega’s warning completely, but the woman dodged her.

 

“Do it,” Lexa challenged her, turning to face her again.

 

“Lexa,” the blonde said angrily, “You have to listen to me! I’m trying to keep you safe!”

 

“You’re trying to keep safe?” the brunette scoffed mocking her “You do that pushing me against the wall and keeping me there, Clarke? That’s your idea of keeping me safe? Where are you ready to get to keep me safe?”

 

The girl was left speechless. Cold, with a gaping mouth.

 

Where was she ready to get to keep her safe?

 

Only excuses were floating in her brain, guilt, apologies, regret but most of all questions. What was her limit? Did she even had one?

 

“I….That was not-” was the only thing that left her mouth.

 

“Stop,” Lexa snarled, “I don’t want hear your excuses.” The omega let minutes, hours, days pass before speaking again, or at least that was how it felt for the alpha. “If you need an omega that bends to your wishes to keep you sated, to keep you sane, I’m not her. If you need to stay here until you can care for yourself, you can, Clarke. But you need to stay the fuck away from me. I won’t let you be my master. You don’t know how much I care for you. You have no fucking idea, but I won’t let you control me.”

 

“Lexa wait! It won’t happen again, I’m so-”

 

“No! I don’t want to hear another one of your empty promises!” the woman’s wrath still present, still burning her eyes, “I will not exchange my submission for your love. Think about it, think about it for real.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa left the house early in the mornings and came late in the night, after that night.

 

Clarke only saw her in class. Every time their eyes met, Lexa’s turned cold and her joy for speaking of an author she loved disappeared from them.

 

She always lowered her eyes when it happened.   


But her traitorous orbs always gave the image of her blue wrists hidden under the cotton fabric of her shirts, emerging every time the woman flexed her arms.

 

It always felt like a blow to her guts.

 

But she deserved it.

 

She deserved it, and that thought only made her want to cry and hide in bed.

 

But she didn’t.

 

If she did, she’d have to think. She’d have time to ask herself the same questions over and over again.

 

Was that her worst? Or was it just a glimpse of the monster she could be, when denied?

 

She always thought she’d never hurt Lexa. She promised it to Lincoln. She promised it to herself.

 

She thought that that was her limit.

 

And now?

 

Now she was scared of herself. She was only a little a child lost in the dangers of her mind.

 

She didn’t want to be that. She never wanted to be that.

 

Her frustration raised while her hope died.

 

She wanted to change, but how?

 

How?

 

How?

 

How?

 

How?

 

“How?”

 

“How, what?” Wells asked from near her. The two had forfeit their math lesson in favor of spending the day at the park.

 

It was Clarke’s fault. She was too distracted by her mind so the boy proposed to just waste away the day in the sunlight.

 

“Nothing,” the blonde murmured, turning to look in the distance again. She was grateful to her friend for not saying more.

 

Her mind had become a trap and the questions burned behind her eyelids. She was still asking herself how, but the answer never came. She needed something to make her brain shut the fuck up. She needed an answer.

 

“Wells? I think I need help.”

 

“Sure. What is it?”

 

“I-It’s important.”

 

“I’m listening, Clarke.” he said serious, putting himself in a seated position.

 

“I did something bad,” the blonde said worrying her bottom lip.

 

“Are you in trouble?” the boy asked, concerned.

 

“No. I don’t think. I’m ok. But I…” she said, licking her lips, “I can’t stop thinking about it. I fucked things up.”

 

“Does this have something to do with the cut on your cheek?”

 

“Yeah, it does,” she said, staring in the distance.

 

“Tell me, Clarke. I’m here to listen,” he smiled encouragingly.

 

“You can’t tell anyone,” she said serious and he nodded.

 

“A few nights ago, I had a fight with my girlfriend.” she said running one hand through golden locks “It got bad and I… I grabbed her. I pushed her on the wall and kept her there, while I was screaming an-and then she managed to free her hand and she slapped me,” she concluded, not looking at the boy, not wanting to meet his disgusted eyes, she was certain she’d see.

 

“What happened then?”

 

“I stumbled back. She told me if I did it again she was going to dump me. I tried to grab her again when she was leaving and she dared me to do that again. She said that she’s not going to submit to me and I got scared. I got scared of what would have happened if she didn’t slap me, if she didn’t wear the ring. I got scared of would happen the next time we fight and she doesn’t want to submit.”

 

A somber silence settled over them. The only noises around them were the leaves shaking against the air. Clarke stared at her fidgeting hands, playing with her fingers.

 

“So you don’t even think I deserve an answer?” she sneered, feeling her blood pump faster, boiling, the anger rearing its face.

 

“I think you need help,” the boy said carefully.

 

“Thank you very much. I knew that already,” the blonde mocked him.

 

“I mean professional help, Clarke.” he said disregarding completely her mockery, licking his lips, before proceeding with his words, “I think that you’re not like this. I have known you since we were kids and I, I think that maybe if what happened to your father didn’t happen in that moment, your parent would have sent you into therapy back then.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“It happened sometime before your dad passed away. Jake was talking to my dad and he said he was worried for you,” the boy concerned eyes met hers, “He said that he still had to talk to Abby about this, but he was worried for your need to dominate. I didn’t get most of his words, but he said he wanted you to talk to a specialist.”

 

“I’m not crazy, Wells,” the girl said with flaring nostrils.

 

“I’m not saying that!” he said, raising his hands, trying to look non-aggressive, “I’m just saying that some people need to talk to psychologist when they present, and it’s mostly hormonal stuff. Maybe you just need to take suppressant or things like this. I mean Stallone did for his entire life, because he was too much of an alpha.”      

 

“So you’re telling me that I just need to take some pills and I’ll be normal? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” the blonde said hopeful.

 

“That’s because you would’ve probably hit me if I did,” the boy chuckled “And maybe you just have to go to therapy, pills won’t be required. But first of all, you need to talk to Abby.”

 

“Yeah, uhm, well that requires time.”

 

“You know in a few days, it’s her birthday. You could go visit her. Mothers love that kind of stuff!”

 

“I think I will.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to leave WeAllGotLeftBehind some comments. They make her day I think. I hope you guys don't throw things at us now..
> 
> Clarke you need to get your shit together...-from the fist shaking beta of this tale-


	21. Chapter 21

Happy birthday mum.

 

Clarke send the text right before getting inside the school entrance. The place was deserted…

 

It was Abby’s birthday. The alpha wanted to surprise her mother stopping by that evening, but Wells pointed out that her mum might be working.  


Abby rarely took time off from work, even when her dad was alive. Now the blonde was pretty sure she worked constantly.

 

It was Friday. She directed herself to her locker to put down some of her books and went back outside to wait for Wells.

 

She arrived half an hour earlier, because the busses had shitty schedules. If she took the one that was supposed to get her here on time, she would end up being late. 

 

The boy was thankfully awake and promised Clarke to bring her muffin and coffee. She loved Wells.

 

Since her fight with Lexa, she started to skip meals and rarely ate anything green. It was like she was being homeless again, except for the fact she had a place to sleep.

 

At least she tried her best to always be in school and do her homework. At least it was something.

 

She was tinkering on her phone when a gruff voice startled her.

 

“You’re an asshole Bell!” the girl said while the boy laughed.

 

“Long time no see, princess,” he said, bowing to her.

 

“What do you want dumbass?”

 

“Nothing, just chat with a buddy,” he said, smiling, “You’ve been avoiding all of us for the entire week.”

 

“Uh, I know and I’m sorry,” Clarke sighed, “But I guess you know what happened, so there’s not much to talk about.” She shrugged.

 

“Of course I know, but you should remember that not everybody thinks like Octavia.”

 

The blonde snorted at that. “Yeah, but we all know how much she loves to force people to think stuff like her.”

 

“I can’t disagree with you,” he chuckled.

 

“What are you doing here this early anyway?”

 

“I needed to talk to Professor Pike about homework and considering that I have him on first period and I want a delay, I had to come here earlier.”

 

“Good luck with that. He never gives delays.”

 

“I know. It’s just my last attempt,” he said, shrugging, “I also wanted to talk to you, and I guess now it’s the perfect time.”

 

“Sure what is it?”

 

“Nothing important. I just wanted to remind you that this is my last year here and Raven’s too.”

 

“I know, Bell. Please don’t make me feel guilty about that too,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

 

“Then have lunch with us today! Let’s just forget about what happened between you and O. I mean it’s only for a month. Then you can go back to hating each other.”

 

“Does she know about what you’re doing?”

 

“Nope,” he said as he popped the p in the word.

 

“So I guess this is not going to happen,” she said, chuckling.

 

“Oh come on, Clarkey. Be the mature one and take the high road. Do it for me!” he said with his best puppy eyes.

 

“I really don’t want to start a fight,” Clarke said while she trembled at the thought of what could happen. “I’m not in the right state of mind to fight with anybody.”

 

Before the boy could add anything more, Wells arrived.

 

“I’m wounded, Wells. I thought we were buddies! Yet you bring coffee to her and to me, what? Nothing?” he said dramatically.

 

“I didn’t even know you were going to be here,” the other alpha said, smiling.

 

“Bad buddy!” Bellamy scoffed.

 

“You’re so dramatic, Bell! I didn’t have breakfast stop being annoying!”

 

“Fine, fine,” he said, raising his hands up in a sign of defeat, “I take it you two finally made peace!”

 

“Yeah. We did finally,” Wells smiled broadly.

 

“That’s great guys! We should have a get together then, all of us!”

 

“I don’t think it’s a great idea, Bell,” Clarke sighed, knowing that Bellamy was a persistent guy.

 

“Wells convince her. Please, it’s a great idea!”

 

“I’m sorry, Bell. I’d love to pick up our bromance from where we left, but I think Clarke’s right,” he said, exchanging a look with the blonde.

 

Wells knew of what happened with Octavia and Raven, and even if the shorter brunette had most of the faults in that fight, the other one was surely not blameless, just like Clarke.

 

“I feel like there is something you’re not telling me here,” the floppy haired boy was too smart for his own good.

 

“There is, but I really don’t feel like talking about it now and you need to go meet Pike. Maybe we can catch up after school. I mean all of us,” she said, smiling to Wells.

 

“Yeah, sure I’m free.” and a “Sounds great.” were the boys answers.

 

* * *

 

During lunch, Clarke felt her phone vibrate in her pockets.

 

Mum: Clarke?

 

She had completely forgotten that Lexa had replaced her phone with a new one and her mother didn’t have her new number.

 

Clarke: Yeah, mum it’s me.

 

Mum: Baby, thank you!

 

Clarke: You’re welcome.

 

The alpha knew this conversation was getting awkward with every text, but she had no idea how to ask her if she could drop by at her mother’s.

 

Mum: Are you ok, baby?

 

She just took a deep breath and asked.

 

Clarke: I’m fine. Are you home later?

 

Mum: No, I’m at the hospital, but if you need me I can go home or come to pick you up at school, just say the word I’ll make sure to be free for you.

 

Clarke: No, it’s fine. When are you going to be home?

 

Mum: Sunday.

 

Clarke: Can I drop by?

 

Mum: Of course! I’ll wait for you!

 

Mum: Do you want to have dinner together?

 

Mum: Or lunch?

 

Mum: Or both? 

 

The blonde chuckled at her eagerness, but she thought it was understandable considering that the woman hasn’t seen her daughter in over a year and when she did, it was always because she did something stupid and her mum had to be involved to get her out of trouble.

 

Clarke: I’ll let you know later, if that’s ok?

 

Mum: Of course! I can’t wait to see you!

 

Clarke: Me too.

 

“You’re going to talk to your mum?” Bellamy’s voice startled her again that day.

 

“What the hell? What the fuck are you some sort of ninja?”

 

“I’d like that very much!” he said with a dreamy eyes. “Unfortunately no. You’re just deaf. I always told you to stop listening to loud music with headphones, but what do you do? You don’t listen to me!” he said, laughing to his bad joke while Clarke glared at him, “Get it? You can’t hear and you don’t listen?”

 

“I got it. I just don’t think it was funny.”

 

“Someone’s in a mood,” he said as he made a face to her, “So…What’s up with your mum?”

 

“I just want to see her,” the blonde sighed. She needed many things from her mother, but those could wait. What she wanted the most was to hug her and finally she could.  


Two more days and she could finally be wrapped in her scent again.

 

“I thought you hated your mum,” the boy said through a mouthful of food.

 

“I…I don’t hate her. I think I never did. I was just too stubborn to admit it.”

 

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said, smiling.

 

“Why are you sitting here anyway? Octavia is going to kill you if she sees you.”

 

“Well, I’m actually trying to end this rif. Be a beacon of hope for the future generation and stuff like that.”

 

“Wells is going to sit here anyway. I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable with everybody’s presence,” she sighed. God she felt like a five year old. “Did you know that Wells never felt comfortable with us?”

 

“Of course I did, Clarke. It wasn’t so hard to understand.”

 

“I’m a real idiot, then. I always thought he felt good with us.”

 

“You were going through a rough time. It was normal. You didn’t notice things around you.”

 

“Ehi guys!” Jasper voice interrupted them when he slumped himself on the other side of the table with Monty right behind him. “You and the girls finally stopped fighting?”

 

“Not really,” Clarke said, shrugging.

 

“What?” Jasper exclaimed, with a panicked look on his face. The boy was already looking for another table.

 

Everybody knew that Jasper had the biggest crush on Octavia and was basically her puppy even if the girl wasn’t interested one bit.

 

He tried to stand up as soon as he saw a free table, but Monty pushed him back on the chair shaking his head at him.

 

“I don’t want Octavia to be mad at me!” he said, trying to defend himself.

 

“She’s never going to be your girl, Jazz. You need to stop,” Monty said, trying to put some sense into his head.

 

“I’m rooting for you, buddy! You need to keep trying. I’m sure sooner or later my sister will understand what a great guy you are!”

 

“Thanks, Bell!”

 

“Are you afraid of Lincoln, Bell?” Clarke snorted.

 

“He is huge, Clarke! Like, seriously huge!”

 

“He’s a teddy bear. He’ll never hurt Octavia.” He’s a teddy bear when he doesn’t threaten to kill you or drive you so far away that you won’t know your way back.

 

“Wells! Here!” she shouted as soon as she saw the boy entered the cafeteria.

 

“Are you trying to piss off Octavia even more?” Jasper whispered to her.

 

“No, Jas. I’m just trying to have lunch with my friends.”

 

“Can I go sit alone over there?”

 

“No, just stay here!” Monty said, sighing.

 

“Whatever,” he mumbled.

 

“Hey,” Wells greeted everybody there, and was answered back with smiles from everybody, except Jasper that was prompted by Monty’s elbow.

 

The group chatted a little about their day, until Octavia and Raven arrived.

 

“Hey, guys!” Raven greeted everybody at the table chirply, while Octavia glared at Clarke.

 

They always solved their fights like this, Octavia glaring and making mean comments, while Clarke ignored her until she would finally suck it up.

 

With Raven it was much harder, she’d have to actually talk to make things right. The point was that she was unsure if she wanted to.

 

The group chatted happily, until Monty asked about Clarke’s cheek.

 

“Nothing. I just had a fight with somebody,” she shrugged, hoping they’d drop the matter.

 

Unfortunately Octavia didn’t agree.

 

“Let me guess…that nobody is Miss Woods?” she scoffed, while Wells gasped at the revelation.

 

“It’s none of your business.”

 

“She’s not just a perv. She’s also violent?”

 

“I can assure you. She isn’t the violent one,” Clarke sneered, eyes sparkling dangerously and hands flat on the table.

 

Octavia gave her a confused look, but she could see that behind her confusion fear was lurking like a predator. She could even smell it.

 

Before anybody at the table could say anything, the bell rang and Wells was the first one to recover from what he had just learned.

 

“Clarke, we need to go. We have English,” he said a little uncomfortable, hoping to convince her to move.

 

Thankfully the alpha’s desire to see her omega won and she left with a bored “Bye, guys.” that she was sure left her friends frozen.

 

* * *

 

“I need to talk to Lexa. Wait for me outside,” she whispered to Wells as soon as the lesson was over.

 

The boy had been sending her the “We need to talk” looks the entire lesson and she was sure he wanted to talk about what he had just learned. Thankfully the boy only nodded and went to wait for her outside as asked.

 

“Lex?” she said, while the teacher was erasing her writing from the blackboard. As soon as she spoke, she saw her back tense.

 

“What is it?” the woman asked without turning around.

 

“I made plans with my mum to meet up on Sunday.”

 

“Ok,” Lexa said this time turning around to lean her bottom on her desk.

 

Clarke’s eyes turned to the floor when she saw that the woman still had a few yellow persistent bruises on her wrists as she crossed her arms.

 

“I just wanted to check in with you, if it was ok. I didn’t know if Lincoln and Anya were coming and you wanted me around. Or stuff like that. You haven’t been around much lately, so I-I don’t know what you want me to do.” She shouldn’t have added the last jab, but she couldn’t help it. She was wrong. She was so wrong in everything that happened that night, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt from Lexa’s absence. It did feel like she has been dumped.

 

“I don’t need you around,” Lexa said dry, making her tongue click harshly.

 

“I said want!” the alpha snapped, trying to put her breath back under control, while she was wiping the sweat on her brow with one thumb. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she said after a few deep breaths. “I just think that we should start to communicate again so we can avoid talking at school, about private stuff.”

 

“Do you have an answer for me?” Lexa asked out of the blue.

 

“What d-” Clarke started, but was interrupted.

 

“I asked you a question that night.”

 

“I don’t know, Lexa. I don’t know if I can accept you not submitting to me and I don’t know how far I could go to have my way. I don’t even know if I have a limit,” the alpha said, rearing her face to show her lover the eyes of a predator.

 

She wondered if Lexa knew she was the prey or still thought of herself as the predator.

 

“We have nothing to talk about,” the woman said stubbornly.

 

“This is much more complicated than this. I need you to understand that.”

 

“And I need an answer.”

 

“It’s stronger than me, Lexa. I’m scared,” the alpha said, trying to best herself, trying to reach for help.

 

“Clarke, I can’t let this go. I can’t do that to myself.”

 

“I know, Lexa. Just help me. That’s all I’m asking you.”

 

“I can’t do that if you don’t want to change.”

 

“I want to.”

 

“You have proven me over and over again that you don’t.”

 

“This isn’t fair, Lexa,” the blonde said pained.

 

“But this is the truth,” the brunette sighed.

 

“Clarke?” Wells called from the door. “We need to go, or you’ll be late for work,” he reminded her.

 

“Yeah, just a sec!” she said, turning her attention back to Lexa, “I want to change, Lex. That’s my answer. I know you’ve had enough of waiting for me to do that but that’s all I can give you. I’m here, if you’ll ever change your mind, if you want to take another try, I’ll wait for you.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa was nowhere to be found on Saturday.

 

The alpha texted her to know if she was coming home to eat at least. The answer was “I’m busy. I won’t be home for the entire day. Don’t wait up.”

 

So Clarke focused herself on homework and laundry duty.

 

The omega being gone for the entire week had very little time to do anything at home.

 

She was usually the one to keep the house clean, having more time to do it, considering that Clarke was only at work 3 afternoons of the week.

 

After that, she went to look at the Polis college website. If her mother agreed at having her make two years in one, she should start to focus on her future.

 

She’d love to study Art there and if Lexa decided to stay in Washington, it would be perfect.  


She could even decide to stay home and travel back and forth for lessons.

 

If Lexa wanted to stay with her.

 

All of her plans were bound to the woman that was nowhere to be seen for an entire week.

 

Clarke found herself frustrated pretty soon and decided to close everything up.

 

It was useless to duel on the if’s.

 

It was already late and the next day she was meant to meet her mother, so she crawled in the guest room and tried to sleep, knowing it was useless with the brunette’s absence.

 

She always waited to hear the keys noises in the lock before falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

It must have been sometime after 3am that the blonde had finally fallen asleep.

 

Lexa didn’t come home and her slumber had been light and unfulfilling.

 

When she finally heard the damned keys, the sun had been up in the sky for hours.

 

She bolted toward the living room to meet the woman and make her malcontent well known.

 

“Where have you been?” she barked as soon as the woman was in her sight, going directly to smell her omega to make sure nobody had laid hands on someone that was hers.

 

Lexa let her without complaints. When the alpha was satisfied, she asked the question again, softly this time, keeping the brunette in her arms loosely.

 

To her surprise, the omega hugged her, tightly, a bones crushing hug.

 

“What is it, Lex?” the blonde asked, disoriented by everything the teacher did.

 

“I just needed this.”

 

“Come on, babe, you know you can talk to me.” the blonde whispered in her hair, still holding the woman.

 

“I can’t,” Lexa said, disentangling herself from her arms.

 

“Please, Lex, I won’t make the same mistake again. Try me,” Clarke begged, resting her hand on her lower back, insistent but not overbearing she hoped.

 

“I’m not in the mood to fight right now. I’m too tired,” she sighed, “And you need to meet your mother later. Let’s just drop it.”

 

“Lex….”

 

“Not now, Clarke!” she snapped, “Please… not now…”

 

“Ok...” the student said defeated, while the woman was grabbing the camera she had placed on the table as soon as she entered, “But, I need to know if you need me home this evening.”

 

“No.” Lexa said stoic. “Just stay as far as you can from here. I’ll let you know when you can come back,” she said, licking her lips before adding, “I’m sorry.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke was standing in front of the enormous gates of her mother’s house.

 

Abby, being a hotshot surgeon and her father a nuclear engineer, gave them the possibility for such a house, complete with a jacuzzi on the back.

 

She rang the bell and from the intercom came her mother’s voice. “Who is it?”

 

“Me, mum.”

 

She heard the electronic buzz and the gate was opening.

 

She never thought of it, but being face to face with their wealth made her feel inadequate.

 

She looked at what was she was wearing, a ratty sweater and ragged jeans. Inadequate probably wasn’t a strong enough word to describe her feelings.

 

She wondered for a second how Octavia and Bellamy felt when met with this house the first time Clarke invited them over.     

 

Maybe just like her, in that moment.

 

But it wasn’t the time to duel on everything she left behind, now it was time to deal with the present.

 

A present that had the shape of a running Abigail Griffin.

 

Because her mother was running to meet her, she was running to hug her. A hug that made them both, almost fall to the ground.

 

“I missed you so much!” it was the first thing her mother said, when she put a little distance between their bodies, still holding her daughter at arm’s length, caressing her cheek.

 

“I missed you too,” the blonde said, choking on the lump in her throat with her vision foggy because of unshed tears.

 

“You’ve changed so much!” her mother said, grinning from ear to ear, with happy tears running down her face. “I thought you’d still be shorter than me,” she said, chuckling.

 

It was true. Abby had always been a petite alpha, but Clarke as a child always thought of her as a giant, because of her mother’s carriage. She always defined it as majestic.

 

It was so weird to be the one to look at her from higher ground.

 

“You’re a grown up, now,” the older alpha said, making the younger one start the next hug.

 

Clarke held her mother tight to her chest smelling the crown of her head, inhaling her scent.

 

The blonde always found it weird when people said that Abby smelled a little impersonal and bland.

 

They were wrong.

 

Abby didn’t smell like cookies or freshly baked bread like the perfect mum did.

 

She smelled like antiseptic, like the disinfectant and strongly of mint.

 

It was the smell Clarke associated with protection as a child and she still did. She thought of that smell as salvation.

 

It was the absolution serum the girl needed to breathe.

 

“I’m so happy you came to see me, baby,” Abby said, disentangling herself from the hug. “Come on, we should get inside! I don’t want to burn the chicken,” she murmured, taking her daughter’s hand and leading her in the house.

 

* * *

 

Clarke had unbuttoned her pants.

 

She had been stuffing her face with food. Her mum cooked her all of her favorite things and now was giving her a huge cup filled with pistachio ice cream, from that fancy ice cream shop she used to love as a child.

 

Abby still looked on the brink of tears, with soft and wet eyes, never letting her gaze travel away from Clarke, almost as if she thought the girl was going to flee if she didn’t keep an eyes on her.

 

“This is amazing! Thanks mum!” the alpha said with her mouth full.

 

“That’s ok, sweety,” the older alpha said, gently brushing a golden lock behind the girl’s ear, “Are you eating ok? I know it is because you’re growing up, but you look so thin.”

 

“I’m eating ok, mum. Don’t worry about that,” Clarke said with a gentle smile.

 

“I always worry for you,” Abby whispered tenderly to the blonde. It felt like her mother was sharing a secret with her.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be. Sooner or later I knew I’d have to let you go. It just happened much sooner than I expected.”

 

“But I came back,” Clarke blurted out, trying to dissolve the sad smile on Abby’s face.

 

“But you’re not staying.”

 

“No. I don’t think so,” the alpha admitted, feeling ashamed.

 

“So why don’t you tell me what do you need.” It wasn’t said like a jab or as a reprimand. It was said like the older alpha was ready to give of herself, all of her wealth to her, only to buy one more second of her company.

 

“I need a lot of things, mum,” Clarke said, licking her lips, “But tonight I just want stay with you. I missed you a lot.”

 

“Can I ask you something?” Abby asked apprehensive and the girl nodded. “Do you, maybe, want to sleep here? I know it’s stupid, but I want to tuck you in bed and do what we used when you were little. I want to feel like a mother again.”

 

“Yeah, sure. I just need to send a text,” the girl said with a soft smile, grabbing her phone and telling Lexa she wasn’t coming back that night. The answer was one word, “Ok.”. And the alpha had almost thrown the device on the wall, instead she put it back in her pocket with shaking hands and labored breath. 

 

“Baby, are you ok?” her mother asked, putting a hand on her thigh.

 

“I’m fine,” the younger alpha stated through gritted teeth, “I just need a second to calm down.”

 

“Clarke,” her mother said serious. She only ever called by name when she was about to scold her or talk to her about important matters. “Please tell me what’s bothering you.”

 

“I don’t want to ruin tonight. It has been good and I don’t want to ruin it by asking you for help.”

 

“Please, please do it,” Abby begged, “There is nothing more in the world that I want more than helping my kid.”

 

“I’ve been feeling weird, lately. More than usual,” she sighed, while her mother wore her professional face, “I get angry more than usual. Wells said dad had been thinking about sending me to the shrink.”

 

“H-He did. He had proposed it and then the accident happened and... well, I did what I thought was right and you left,” Abby said with a pained expression, “I thought that it was the right thing to let you go. That maybe you could’ve healed on your own. I just thought you were confused.”

 

“I didn’t,” the blonde whispered, “I thought it got worse. I don’t think I can deal with this on my own anymore. I have started to get violent, mum, if someone isn’t willing to bend to me. I don’t want to be that. I just need them to submit, everybody. And it feels right when I do it. I don’t think that’s normal. I don’t want to hurt the people around me.”

 

“Baby, it is normal. I mean on an instinctual way. I understand that. I don’t understand why you can’t control yourself, why you can’t stop. It’s like the Id in you overbears the super-ego, but the education me and your father gave you contradicts it. We have always tried to enforce the rules,” the woman said with a focused expression on her face, before she rubbed it with both palms, “I don’t understand.”

 

“Uhm, me neither,” the blonde said, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“I’m sorry,” her mother said, chuckling, “It’s a Freud’s theory of how the human psyche works. There is the Id, which is the instinctual part of people. Then there’s the super-ego, which is the part of us that controls the rules, what we’ve been taught since birth, about what to do and what not, what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. And then there’s the ego, the combination of the two, ourselves, basically. The result of the adding of the two. I know it might be a little too much, but one of my classmate in college explained this to me like that. When you see someone you like on the street, the Id tells you to mount them right in the spot you see them. The super-ego tells you it is wrong, public sex isn’t acceptable, and you should get to know them before going further. The two battles in your head until the ego arrives and compromises the two, that makes you walk up to them and ask them out.”

 

“You couldn’t use a different analogy?” the younger alpha muttered, feeling embarrassed.

 

“Well I just wanted to cite it the same,” Abby chuckled again, “That’s why I don’t get it. I’m not saying we were perfect as parents, but we did a good job.”   

 

“You don’t think it’s something related to that.”

 

“I don’t, but I can’t exclude it, I’m not unbiased. There could be hundreds of explanation for your aggression. It could be hormonal or neurological. We should run some tests to make sure why that happens.”

 

“When do you think we can start, then?” Clarke asked as she started to feel determined.

  
“We could wait until the end of the school year. We’re close and I don’t think you want to repeat it.”

 

“I need to start right away mum. I can’t wait one more month.” Lexa won’t wait one more month.

 

After a few seconds of excruciating silence, Abby finally sighed and said “You can come over to the hospital, so that we can run some tests.”  

* * *

 


	22. Chapter 22

“Hey?!” Clarke let out a surprised but soft greeting, “You’re here?”

 

“I live here,” Lexa chuckled, eating a piece of melon.

 

“I wasn’t expecting you home. That’s why I’m surprised,” the blonde said, feeling confused since Lexa hadn’t been home for the past week in the evenings. She was always out when Clarke was in.

 

“You should start to. I’m done with my extra curriculum activities.”

 

“What were those activities?” the alpha asked, sitting down at the table and stealing some food from the omega’s plate.

 

“Nothing you should be concerned about,” the brunette said stoic, “How did things with your mum go?”

 

“They were good. I’m going to meet her later actually,” Clarke said, avoiding to start a discussion on the ‘activities’ Lexa didn’t want to talk about.

 

“Mmh, that’s good,” the woman hummed, trying to cover the sparkling interest her eyes were showing, biting down questions that never found their voice.

 

“How did it go with Anya and Lincoln?” the alpha asked in return.

 

“They were… good, I guess...” Lexa said a little unsure, probably trying to find a good word to explain it without exposing herself.

 

The blonde knew they were playing the same game. Neither of them was giving more than the other, both hesitant to let the other in.

 

She knew it was a power game. She knew she wasn’t going to let the omega win, no matter how much she wanted the woman to know about her life, no matter how much she wanted to know what was going on in Lexa’s head.

 

She was not going to be the weak one, succumbing to her desire of knowing or sharing. She wanted to change and be mature enough to let this kind of things go, but sadly that wasn’t going to happen overnight.

 

She had already swallowed down her pride too much for her mate in the past week specifically. She needed a win no matter how small, so if the woman wanted to play this game, Clarke was more than ready to be the perfect challenger. She won’t let Lexa have all the power, no matter how much this stupid games were going to estrange them from one another.

 

Everything had become a battle.

 

And Lexa couldn’t have a piece without a war.

 

* * *

 

 

“Sweety, hi!” her mother said as she came to hug her when she entered the E.R. doors.

 

“Hey mum!” Clarke said, smiling, “How are things doing?”

 

“They’ve been slow, tonight actually. I shouldn’t talk too fast though. I’d rather it stayed that way,” she said, smiling.

 

Abby was a trauma surgeon so her workload depended mostly on how busy the E.R. was.

 

“I hope that too,” the blonde alpha said as she smiled, “So, you’re going to be my doc?”

 

“Oh, no. Honey,” the brunette chuckled, “For as much as I would like that, I can’t. I’m surgeon. Unless there’s something to cut, I don’t have to be involved. Plus there’s hospital policies.”

 

“Uhm, ok. Who is it then?” Clarke asked with a shrug.

 

“Nyko. He’s the best attending we have in internal medicine. He’ll decide what tests we need to run and if there’s the need to involve the psychiatric department,” her mum explained swiftly, “If you’re ok with it, I’d like to be with you every time you meet him and talk to him. I know you’re a grown up and you’ve learned to deal with life on your own, but you’d still need my signature for certain procedures and I want to make sure he’s not doing anything too extreme if the answer isn’t easy to find.”

 

“I’d like for you stay...” the younger alpha said as she licked her lips nervously, clenching her hands into fists, “Uhm, I’m a little scared of it actually… and I-I want you to be near me.”

 

“Of course, baby,” Abby said, throwing her arms around her pup’s frame. “I’ll be with you the entire time,” she said before gently kissing her temple.

 

“Ok, uhm, let’s stop with all the mushy feels for tonight,” Clarke said, trying to lighten the mood as soon as her mother let her go.

 

Abby chuckled at her daughter. “I think it’s better we do. Your appointment is in ten minutes.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke was not expecting for the doctor to be a huge beta that looked more like a shady Harley biker than the typical intellectual.

 

Never judge a book from its cover.

 

“So Abby had hinted about your problems, Clarke, but I’d like to hear from you what is the problem.”

 

“Uhm, I’m way too aggressive…” the blonde said, unsure of where to start.

 

“Well, you are an alpha. It kind of comes with the title,” the man said, almost as if he was taking this lightly. It rubbed her off the wrong way. “Why do you think you need medical help?”

 

“I can’t control it. Sometime I get violent. I haven’t hurt anybody seriously so far, but I think I might.”

 

The man looked surprised by her admission and sat up straighter on the chair, picking up his pen and writing it down.

 

“Ok. I’d like you tell me the episodes in which you get violent.”

 

“Uhm. Is it really that important?” Clarke asked, glancing at her mother uncomfortably .The woman had her arms crossed on her chest and her lips were pressed together in a thin line. It was the perfect non-verbal expression of disappointed.

 

“It is,” the beta said, certain. “I need to establish what triggers your violent behaviors. Knowing what happens in those cases is fundamental,” he said before he looked toward Abby and added, “If you feel uncomfortable, I can make your mother wait outside for you.”

 

“No!” Clarke blurted out as soon as she could. No matter how much her mother might scowl during this encounter, the alpha wanted her there, having her mother’s scent near made her feel safe, like any of her bravados hadn’t consequences. “I want her to stay here.”

 

“Ok,” Nyko said, scratching his beard, “You can start whenever you’re ready.”

 

“Sure,” Clarke said, scratching the back of her head .“Uhm, I think the first time it happened was less than a month after I presented. I came back home drunk from a party,” the alpha stole a glance from her petrified mother as she spoke, “And mum was coming back from work. She was supposed to be already asleep, but she heard the lock open and she and dad came to see who was. She started to scream at me. I don’t remember what she was saying, but I got mad and grabbed the first thing that I found and threw it at her.”

 

“Do you remember if pheromones were involved? If yes, can you tell me at what point?”

 

“No… I don’t really remember. It was 3 years ago and I have hazy memories of those events. I was also drunk,” Clarke said, shrugging.

 

“Abby?” the man said, pointing his attention on her mother.

 

“They were,” the woman said, dry, “Clarke was the first one to use them, so I answered in kind. I was not expecting for her to throw a vase at me.” _That’s what I threw!_

 

“Why didn’t you bring her in for a check-up back then?” the man asked, mostly curious if his expression was anything to go by.

 

“She was drunk and she had just presented. I didn’t think of anything more or less. It was the first time it happened.”

 

“Hmm, I see.” Nyko said pensive, pushing his back against his chair. “I would have done the same thing with the data you knew if I have to be honest,” he scratched his beard again before adding, “Keep going, Clarke.”

 

“Yeah, uhm, after that, I’ve been ok for a while…until dad got into coma. Me and mum started to fight about what to do. She wanted to unplug him, while I wanted him to live. She didn’t listen and made her decision. After everything was done, a fight happened and I told her she killed him, and blamed her for everything. I’m pretty sure I let out a bunch of pheromones and she did too until I grabbed her shirt’s collar and pushed her on the wall. She flashed me those eyes, like a deer caught in the fire light… I don’t know why, but they stopped me and the next thing I remember, I was knocking on the Blake’s door.”

 

“She had just lost her father, Nyko..” This time Abby spoke without any prompting, with shaky voice.

 

“Nobody is blaming you, Abby. It’s not easy to find hormonal dysfunction even under normal circumstances. This could all be easily tied to her loss. It would’ve been my first guess also. It could still be a possibility,” the man said with tender eyes.

 

“So, you think this is hormonal?” Clarke asked with soft and insecure voice, “It means that I’m not crazy, right?”

 

“I can’t give you an answer now, Clarke. All I can say is that I have enough information to decide what tests we should run first. I take it that since you had your first rut, you haven’t done any blood tests.”

 

“No,” the younger alpha said, blushing furiously. She’d rather not discuss ruts in her mother’s presence.

 

“We can start with that. I’ll ask for the hormonal ones, estrogens and testosterones levels,” He said, typing something in his computer and starting the printer, “I also recommend for you to see a psychologist. I have a few names that could interest you, Abby. I’ll let you have a list as soon as I can.”

 

“Thank you, Nyko. I appreciate it.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just happy to help, Clarke,” he said, smiling to the blue eyed girl, “Your mother always talks fondly of you. I’m sure we’ll get through this.”

 

“I hope so,” the blonde said as she smiled to his caring attitude. Her mother made the right choice picking him to be her doctor.

 

* * *

 

Clarke was coming out of her mother’s house, heading to the bus stop.

 

It was a few days after the encounter with Nyko. They had finally received the list of therapists the girl could go see and after her mother researched all of them with her daughter. They had settled for Luna Adriatic and booked an appointment for Friday.

 

The bearded doctor also suggested to start seeing the woman before they started the process of the tests to find out the problem.

 

He said that Clarke might need someone to talk about her insecurities over her medical condition.

 

The alpha agreed with him and her mother suggested to postpone the blood works after the therapist’s ok.

 

The girls had already an unsure situation at home and didn’t want to wait much longer to have an answer so they settled on waiting two more weeks. It meant 4 session with Luna without counting the one on Friday.

 

She had no idea on how to tell all of this to Lexa.

 

They were still not talking to one another, only useless pleasantries to fill the silence and muted questions.

 

The omega still sore for not getting the answer she craved, the alpha still bashful for her actions. Both too proud to let this go, both too immature to take a step toward the other.

 

Clarke wondered if it ever changed. If her ego was always going to stop her from having what she wanted, to beg for what she wanted.

 

Because Lexa, a functional adult had the same problems. They might be milder, but still they brought the same sorrow. 

 

Will it ever get easier?

 

Will there be a day in which she was free of it? In which her pride was not going to be sacrificed, but she could still get what she wanted?  

 

She was in a loop, the same questions asked from the beginning were now running in her mind again.

 

She just had a new perspective on them, one she formed on her own.

 

Her pride was not going to be a scapegoat again.

 

Lexa was right in punishing her, but she wasn’t right in controlling her.

 

At first, the woman, so confident in her methods, seemed like a goddess to the alpha’s eyes. Her word were not to be vexed. Clarke realized it was wrong. She was a human being trying her best, sometimes achieving and sometime failings.

 

She could and she must be challenged.

 

Was it weird that the girl loved her even more in the light of this realization? That her fallibility and perseverance in chasing what she thought, was right made her even more beautiful and unattainable than before?

 

Because both of their prides were in the middle, both angry and foaming, both begging to not be crushed.

 

She wondered if it ever gets easier.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s focused on the pendulum swinging.

 

A huge case of glass encased the piece of steel stood in the corner. She had been staring at it since she and the therapist shook hands.

 

“You can start whenever you’re ready,” the woman, an alpha that smelled like sand and water, said calmly.

 

Her confidence was something the girl admired. It never bordered on arrogant and was weirdly comforting, while it should have spooked her.

 

From time to time, the blonde stole a glance of the woman. It was returned in kind, with a curious smile.

 

The needle obscured the ten minutes mark. 

 

She had just burned 25 dollars, waiting out for the something to come of her mouth.

 

She had just burned 10 precious minutes of an hour session.

 

She couldn’t wait any longer for her mind to adjust at this new setting. She would have to force the words out.

 

“My mum hasn’t told you anything about my situation?”

 

“No. I’d rather hear it from you,” the woman smiled again, patiently.

 

Clarke nodded and instead of talking, stared at her hands.

 

“Is it normal for you to just stare at your clients silently?” the young alpha asked, frustrated by the awkward silence.

 

“Is it normal for you to just stare at your clients silently?” the young alpha asked, frustrated by the awkward silence.

 

“Only with the alphas,” the therapist chuckled.

 

“Why?” Clarke asked, tilting her head to the side. 

 

“Well, I could tell you all of the intellectual philosophies about the topic, of why an alpha should not be asked questions, but the truth is that those are only conjectures. All I know is that in my career I’ve been attacked twice by angry alphas and I don’t want to repeat the occurrence. That’s why I’m waiting for you to open up.”

 

“You know. It’s kind of funny,” the blonde said, chuckling, “I’m here for my anger issues, so I guess you took the right course with me.”

 

“And I’m glad I don’t have to remodel my study again,” Luna said with a grin, making the blonde follow her lead. Her smile was contagious, but after their little moment of connection, the silence settled back on them.

 

“I really need this to work,” Clarke said nervous. She liked Luna. She seemed a smart woman and a good doctor, but for as much as she wanted to follow her methods and take her time with the process, she couldn’t. “And I need it to work fast. So I guess I want some sort of shock therapy.”

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s a long story,” the blonde sighed, thinking of when Lexa told her no one could know anything about her, not even her eye color.

 

“You’re paying me to listen to you, Clarke. So why don’t you just start from there, telling me why you need this to go faster, and I’ll ask questions about whatever interests me.”  Seeing Clarke’s reticence, Luna added, “I’m bound to keep personal information to myself. I can’t even relay what you tell me to your mother. You can tell me anything you want.”

 

The girl’s eyes brightened at the perspective, but inquired more on the risks.

 

“What if I did something bad? I mean jail bad stuff. Would you still keep the professional secrecy?”

 

“It depends. If you could hurt yourself or others, those are the only reasons for which I’d break my vows.”

 

“And what if, I wasn’t the one to have done the bad thing?” Clarke licked her lips, “Would you rat them out?”

 

“It depends on what they did,” Luna frowned. It looked like she was not catching the drifts.

 

“What if I told you about a hypothetical scenario? Then you couldn’t act on it, because it is all fictional, right?”

 

“And this hypothetical scenario has not happened in reality?” Luna asked with mirth in her eyes.

 

“Nope. All of what I’m about to say is made up,” the younger alpha said as she smiled at her.

 

“Then, I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I’d rather not break my professional vows. Whenever you’re ready, you can tell me what it is.”

 

“Ok,” Clarke took a deep breath before letting out the air, before explaining what happened with Lexa that night, “I think if I don’t get better soon, she’ll leave me. And I know, I know. This isn’t the right thing to think about when I’m only supposed to think about healing, but that’s the only thing I can think about. I just want to go back and keep my hands to myself!”

 

“Keep going,” Luna said with tender eyes.

 

“I’m just sorry. I just want her to forgive me, to believe me, to trust me again. I’ve had a glimpse of what life could be like when I’m with her and I don’t want to go back at living my old life. It’s just so unfair! It seems I can’t live fully without her!” 

 

“So you want to change for her?”

 

“Yes!” Clarke said with vibrant eyes, determined and burning. “I want to be what she deserves! Whatever she wants me to be! But I just can’t seem to do it! She drives me crazy! I don’t know how to explain it, but when I’m with her, I just need to be me, the bad and the good parts. I feel like I… I don’t know. It wasn’t like this with Finn. After him, I promised to myself to not let anybody else tell me what to do, but I don’t maybe I was wrong. To never owe anything to anybody. She made me rethink a lot of things. I don’t know,” the blonde said, frowning.

 

“What do you mean when you say you want to be what she wants you to?” Luna asked with a grimace.

  

“That I want to be my better version? I dunno, isn’t that kind of the same thing?” the young alpha asked, as if she thought this was the wrong answer to give Luna.

 

“Clarke,” the therapist said after a few seconds of looming silence. “What makes you think that?” she said carefully, taking her time to decide each of her words.

 

“She likes it when I do things by the book. Isn’t that a good thing?”

 

“It is when you agree with the book,” Luna said calmly, but with burning eyes, “If you don’t agree with what she wants, you’re not forced to do it.”

 

“What am I supposed to do then?” the girl asked, disoriented.

 

“What you want to do? Not what you think she wants you to do,” the brunette said tenderly, “What do you want to do, Clarke?”

 

“Uhm, I don’t know,” the girl shrugged.

 

“Do you even want to be here? Or is it something she wants you to do?”

 

“I want to be here. It was my idea. She doesn’t even know!” the blonde said, sitting up straighter in her armchair.

 

“Why did you wanted to come, then?”

 

“Because I want to change.”

 

“You want it?” Luna asked without missing a beat, “You’re the one that thinks your behavior is acceptable? Or is her reaction that made you think it?”

 

“I do. I’m not an animal!”

 

“That’s good.” the therapist smiled, returning to her relaxed position, writing down something in her notebook, leaving a completely lost Clarke to her own advice. “We’re done for today,” Luna added, pointing at the watch. It showed that the session lasted 25 minutes over what was arranged.  

 

“What do you mean? What did all of this mean?” the blonde gestured to the air in between them.

 

“It means that this is a start,” the woman said with a warm smile. “Changes don’t happen overnight, but I think you are already at a good point on your own. Also I’d like to schedule 2 hours session from now on,” she said, writing something else down.

 

“Uhm, yeah, I’ll tell that to my mum,” the alpha said, still confused by the brunette’s behavior.

 

“It is pretty normal to feel confused after the first session, Clarke,” Luna said calmly, sensing her discomfort, “This is not about me giving you the right answer, but it is all about you deciding what’s right and what’s not. And for what I’ve seen from today, you’re already in a good place.”

 

“Uhm, ok. I guess that’s good,” the blonde said, sending a sheepish smile to her therapist.

 

“It is. It truly is.”  


	23. Chapter 23

Maybe she was a coward or maybe she was just smart, but that Sunday she spent the whole day at her mother’s, avoiding Lincoln and Anya completely.

 

She’d rather not incur in a fight with not one, but two grown up alphas.

 

One she could handle, but the both of them?

 

Nope, it was out of question.

 

And being the pragmatic girl she was, she also took her time with her mother to talk about school. She needed her to talk with the principal about doing two years in one.

 

Her mother didn’t agree fully. She said that she was already being subjected to a lot of stress. She shouldn’t add more, but Clarke was adamant and in the end convinced her mother.

 

She should try with the puppy eyes with Lexa too. They seemed more efficient than aggressive.

 

But right in that moment, that was only one thing she wanted to do, after spending the entire day outside.

 

She wanted to merge with Lexa’s comfy couch and become a potato.

 

And that was exactly what she did. She was sprawled out on the couch, watching tv while Lexa was doing God knows what in her room.

 

She was so thankful that her teacher had a Netflix account that she wanted to cry. She needed to watch the latest season of How to Get Away With Murder so bad!

 

She was just about to witness Frank doing the only good thing in his entire existence when her vision was obscured by a beautiful ass.

 

The owner of that ass paused the tv and turned around to give her a sheet of paper, clenching and unclenching her jaw.

 

“What the hell, Lexa? I was watching that!” the alpha said, refusing to grab the piece of paper, putting herself in a seated position.

 

“Just read,” the woman seethed through her teeth.

 

The blonde only grunted and took the paper.

 

I, Alexandria Alycia Woods, submit my resignation from the Mount Weather educational institute.

 

Those were Lexa’s resignation from school. Clarke only looked up from the sheet in shocked silence.

 

“Do I need to submit them?” the teacher asked. She looked pained and angered. Clarke knew it was because she was swallowing her pride.

 

“.....I don’t know,” the alpha admitted. Seeing the woman’s nostrils flare with anger, she added, “I think we should talk before you do that. I’m…I’ve been doing some stuff and my answer is not changing, but if you’d know what I’m up to, maybe you’ll change your mind.”

 

“What is it?” Lexa asked with a clipped tone.

 

“I don’t want this to be another screaming match, Lex,” the student said, sighing, “I just want this to be an adult conversation. Can we put both of our prides on the side for just five minutes? Then we can go back at ignoring each other.”

 

“Fine. I’m listening,” Lexa said, sighing and sitting next to the alpha, leaving a good amount of space between their bodies.

 

“Wells told me that sometime before my dad died, he talked to his worry about my aggression. I asked my mum about it and she told me that I couldn’t control myself very well when I first presented and she thought it was because maybe there’s something wrong with me…So we went to see a doctor.”

 

 

“Clarke… I… What did the doctor say?” Lexa asked with her eyes filled with concern.

 

“He gave me some blood tests. I might be like this because of a hormonal dysfunction. He recommended therapy, and in two weeks, I’ll do them. I still don’t know where the problem is, maybe I’m fine and I just need therapy, but I’m trying, Lex. I promised you I would and I’m doing it. I haven’t changed yet, but I’m working on it.”

 

The omega latched her hand with the alpha’s, looking in her bright blue eyes she said, “I’ll give those to Dante tomorrow.”

 

Clarke grinned from ear to ear, looking just like an overexcited puppy, leaning in for a kiss.

 

It had been too long since she had last tasted those plump lips, but her mouth landed on Lexa’s cheek.

 

“I’m sorry, Clarke,” the woman said with tender eyes, “But I don’t think this is a good idea.”

 

“Why? Lex, I’m trying! I can’t do much more! I don’t know what else you want from me!”

 

“I want you to be fine,” the teacher whispered, “That’s all I want.”

 

“I’m getting there, but I need your help too. I need your support.”

 

“You have it, Clarke. But I can’t forget what happened that night. I think about it over and over, and keep asking myself how far you’d get if I hadn’t managed to push you back.”

 

Silence settled over the couple. The alpha knew what those words meant and she couldn’t help but ask. She couldn’t manage to crush the last shred of hope that kept saying she misunderstood. 

 

“Are you afraid of me?”

 

The question was met with silence and teary green eyes. The blonde couldn’t resist.

 

She surged forward, encasing the teacher in her arms, bathing her in her pheromones until the rigid form of her lover became puddle in her arms.

 

She tried to speak of safety and protection. She tried to kill her beast in tender gestures.

 

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”

 

“I believe you, Clarke.”

 

“I’ll wait till you trust me again, Lex,” the blonde murmured as she kissed the chestnut locks. “But, I…” she said, leveling their eyes, “I just… I want us to be better too. I want us to talk. I don’t want to play this stupid games anymore. I feel like we don’t listen to each other.”

 

“I won’t submit,” the omega said stoic once again while the alpha was retreating, leaving some space between their bodies.

 

“Me neither,” Clarke said, lowering her eyes to the ground.

 

“That’s not what I want. I never asked you to do that.”

 

“But you did and I’m doing everything you said. You gave me tons of rules and I’m following them!”

 

“I gave you those rules because you’re a teenager. It’s normal for you to have rules!”

 

“It’s not normal to have my girlfriend bossing me around though,” the alpha said, meeting the omega’s eyes.

 

The woman looked just like a train had just hit her.

 

She opened her mouth over and over again with no sound coming out of it until it did. “Do you… Do you want to go back living with your mother?”

 

“No!” the blonde said, feeling disgusted by the idea of leaving her lover, “I want to be with you. I’m not going anywhere!”

 

“Clarke, if this is confusing for you, we need to stop.”

 

“No no no no! Absolutely no!” the alpha said, standing up, “That’s not what I want! I want you to trust me. I want you to not be afraid of me ruining everything. I want you to treat me like your mate, not a child. I need your trust to prove myself.”

 

The girl kneeled in front of Lexa, trying to meet her eyes. “Can you do that? Can you do that for me?” she asked, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.

 

“I… I just want you to be fine. And what if this is wrong for you?”

 

“It isn’t. I know it isn’t. I would have never asked for help if it wasn’t for you, Lex,” she said as she gently grabbed the teacher’s hand laying her lips there, to kiss her palm, “I love you. You’re the reason I want to change and be better, but I can’t do that if you don’t stay with me, if you don’t meet me halfway here. Please, Lex, can you?”

 

The seconds felt like hours and she almost saw what the woman was thinking in her bright green eyes before an “I can.” was murmured.

 

* * *

 

“I haven’t realized till after she was soundly asleep but I get it, now!”

 

“What do you get?” Luna asked while sipping at her tea. She had just been listening to Clarke’s enthusiastic recollection of the night before. The alpha launched herself in the story as soon as the therapist door was open.

 

“What you were telling me during our first session! That I was the one that needed to make the decisions for myself! I didn’t even know the shit you say had been sinking in me, before that moment!”

 

“I’d rather use a different word other than shit, but I take it as a win,” the older alpha shrugged, making the younger one chuckle, “So I take it you’re fine now?”

 

“Yes, but no? I mean she still keeps her distance. I can see her stiffening when I get too close, but at least we’re sleeping in the same bed again,” the blonde said while Luna arched an eyebrow at her.

 

“Literally sleeping, me on my side and her on her side. No contact involved,” the girl huffed.

 

“Well, that’s good. It is a step forward the right direction for the both of you.” 

 

“It is.”

 

“Why don’t you tell me about those tests? We have time and we can’t talk about your  “fictional girlfriend” the entire time.”

 

“Uhm, yeah sure! Maybe I should’ve talked to you about this at first. But I thought she was more important,” the blonde said, scratching the back of her head and starting her tale about her meeting with Nyko.

 

“When your father died, how did you feel?” Luna asked, after she told the stories she said to Nyko.

 

“I felt desperate, I guess…impotent, because I couldn’t save him and angry, angry at my mother for not listening to me. I didn’t even go to his funeral. I was so mad. I thought I would have strangled my mum if I saw her.”

 

“And what made you change your mind?”

 

“She did,” the alpha said with dreamy eyes.

 

“Your “fictional girlfriend” seems to be brilliant,” Luna said with a dry tone.

 

“She is. There’s something wrong with that?” the alpha said, making herself ready for a fight.

 

“There isn’t, unless you’re putting her on a pedestal,” the therapist said calmly.

 

“I’m not! The things I’ve told you happened just like I told you!”

 

“I’m not saying that all of that you told me hadn’t happened. In your speech, you’ve used words like wonderful, amazing, great, best, and many other adjectives that proves my point. You have been idolizing your girlfriend, in some way. It is not a bad thing, but I need to warn you, you’re leaving her no space for mistakes. You are excluding her human condition completely. She is a good person from what you’ve told me, but she is not a god.”

 

“I don’t think so. We always fight, because we don’t agree.”

 

“I believe you have taken her as your integrity model. It is normal to look for one. After all, she is a determinate woman with a strong sense of duty. But my fear is that you make her the good one in your head, while you are the bad one.”

 

“I think I get what you’re trying to say. But I don’t agree… I mean she had always thought that being with me was wrong, but I knew it couldn’t be and I’ve changed her mind.”.

 

“Hmm…I see,” Luna said, scribbling something in her notebook. 

 

* * *

 

 

RavenJay: Can we meet?

 

To say that Clarke was surprised might have been a understatement.

 

Raven reaching out first to speak was something to mark on the calendar.

 

Clarke was the one to contact her after the Finn thing. Well it was most likely she just bumped into the omega at school.

 

Raven had been following some sort of space program for young geniuses in another state.  However when she came back, she had missed her boyfriend too much and she found him in a new relationship with Clarke.

 

One thing leads to another and Finn had a black eye while Clarke was sleeping again on the Blake’s floor.

 

The blonde had never seen the omega before but from that day on, it seemed like Raven was everywhere.

 

She was at school, at her lunch table, at parties, and even at Ark’s cafe as a dishwasher.

 

Her brace didn’t let her move around easily in between the tables so Harper put her in the kitchen.

 

It was unavoidable for her to start talking to the brunette and in one of the alpha’s drunk rambling, she told her that she was staying at Finn’s because she ran away from her house. After that, the brunette made sure she stayed with her every time the Latina’s mother was nowhere to be found.

 

She still remember how good Raven could merge a tender look with still burning rage in her eyes. It was something that left Clarke speechless.   

 

But her initiative to start a dialogue made her lose her voice, in a good way though.

 

Princesa: Yeah, sure. When and where?

 

RavenJay: At the Grounder’s pub tonight?

 

Princesa: Sure, I’ll meet you there.

 

“Lex, I’m going out later,” the blonde told the brunette while she was cooking. It earned her a glare but nothing else.

 

She could almost feel Lexa swallow the “You have school tomorrow.”

 

“Ok,” was what she said and then she added, “Do you need me to pick you up?”

 

“Dunno… it depends on how things go with Rae.”

 

“Ok,” the brunette added, twisting her lips on her teeth.

 

“How did things go with the principal today?” Clarke asked, knowing that Lexa had no intention of talking for some time.

 

She had learned that when the teacher did that, she was irritated by something she had just said.

 

After their talk, she wasn’t voicing her thoughts anymore. She only gave her that face to make her know of her worries, but let her make her decisions.

 

Luna might be right when she said she was putting Lexa on a pedestal, but how could she not, when her omega was this good?

 

“He seemed relieved, actually. I’ve been bumping heads with him lately.”

 

“Why? Everything’s ok?”

 

“Just school stuff,” Lexa mumbled. “Set the table,” she ordered but then added a “please.”

 

Then the woman grabbed a vial from the fridge and went to her room.

 

Instead of doing what she had just been told, the alpha followed the omega.

 

“I can do that, if you want,” the blonde said, resting one of her hand on the omega’s, the other holding the syringe now filled with insulin.

 

“I can take care of it.”

 

“I know, but I want to take care of you,” the girl said, gently kissing her cheek. Lips were now forbidden, again.

 

“Ok,” the teacher said, biting what she could not have.

 

“Turn around and bend,” the alpha ordered with her voice way too deep to be an innocent command.

 

As soon as the omega was in position, the girl let her hands travel from her hips to the button of her jeans slowly.

 

When the woman shuddered under her touch, she felt her boxers cling uncomfortably to her growing member.

 

She licked her lips, slowly unbuttoned her pants, and then unzipped them, tugging them down gently.

 

It could have been an incident that she pulled down a little her panties as well, showing her bare hip on one side, or maybe it wasn’t, watching the hand on the desk clench in a fist.

 

“Ready?” she asked sultry, directly on her ear.

 

“Yeah,” the omega breathed right on her lips, turning a little her head while Clarke busied herself, picking up the syringe again.

 

There were many theories on how to make a shot painless, but she was sure that doing it fast was the best option, so she did.

 

Lexa jumped a little, startled by the rapid movements, but before she could say anything, the alpha was already done.

 

“All clear,” the young girl said, disinfecting where the needle had penetrated the skin before she pulled Lexa’s pants back on.

 

The omega still had her back almost pressed to her front, and twisted herself a little to look in the alpha’s eyes during her task.

 

Her eyes kept jumping from her lips to her eyes. She seemed unsure at which she wanted to look at, while Clarke’s hands were resting on her hips, stroking her skin with her thumbs, leaving the pants unbuttoned.

 

“What is it?” the alpha rasped with how hoarse her voice had become.

 

Lexa seemed to settle on nowhere and instead closed her eyes, leaning in a soft peck at first, that later escalated in a passionate dance of tongues, aggressive and frenetic.

 

Clarke could feel how much the omega had missed their more intimate moments, just like her maybe more than her and pressed the entirety of her body to hers, pushing on her belly to add more friction where she needed it.

 

“I can cancel,” she blurted out when Lexa needed air, “I can stay here.”

 

The teacher seemed to be pulled out of her trance by her words. “No, I-” she cleared her throat when her body was betraying her, ”I think you should go. It seemed important.”

 

“Ok,” the young girl growled on her neck, lightly biting a random spot on the almost clear skin, finishing her work, buttoning her pants, while Lexa was still shuddering in her arms with the alpha’s breath blazing on the back of her neck.

 

* * *

  

After a shower and a match of five against one, the alpha directed herself to the pub.

 

It was one of the few places in the city that didn’t ID. It was also one of the few ones of those that didn’t look like a dumpster.

 

It was a cute Irish pub with friendly waitresses.

 

All of her friends loved the place and loved to enjoy a few beers there during lazy nights.

 

When she arrived, she spotted Raven immediately.

 

She was seated in a booth that could host five people all alone.

 

It was obvious that tonight Wick worked. The beta boy had a huge crush on the omega and every time they, the whole group, went there, they had a discount, but only if Raven handled the check.

 

“Hey,” Clarke said, sitting down.

 

“Hey,” Raven said back, taking a large sip of her dark beer.

 

“Wick’s working tonight?” the blonde asked, smirking, gesturing to the large table between them.

 

“Yep,” the omega said, smiling, “I think his boss had assigned him another section, because he had been annoying me the entire time before you arrived and now is nowhere to be found.”

 

“Please, as if you don’t like the attention.”

 

“Not his. He had been talking too much about himself and too little about me for my tastes.”

 

“I bet Anya is much better at that,” the blonde sneered.

 

“Actually she is, when we do talk, but her mouth is mostly busy doing other stuff most of the time,” the brunette said, smiling slyly.

 

“God, just stop. Don’t say another word,” Clarke said, fake gagging.

 

“Whatever,” Raven said, shrugging, “But, if you’ll need advices on how to do a good job, I suggest you ask her, ‘cause she really knows what she’s doing.”

 

“I told you to stop,” the alpha said, playfully glared at her.

 

“I’m thinking about Miss Woods here, C. You should ask my girl for her benefit.”

 

“That’s enough, Rae,” the alpha said serious.

 

“What? I can’t even joke now, if she’s involved?” the omega said venomously. 

 

“Did you make me come here to fight?”

 

“No,” the brunette sighed, “I just wanted to hang out.”

 

“Ok, we’re hanging out,” the alpha said dumbly, trying to maintain the peace.

 

“Hey, what can I get you?” a waitress asked chirpily. Clarke was thankful that she had arrived in that moment, because she was sure that awkwardness was on its way.

 

“Yeah, an ice tea, please.”

 

“Of course,” the girl tinkering on her pad before disappearing.

 

Raven simply raised her eyebrow at her.

 

“I don’t feel like drinking,” the blonde shrugged.

 

“Yeah, sure, you don’t,” the Latina scoffed.

 

“Why don’t you tell me, why I’m here? Instead of mocking me,” the younger girl asked, feeling irritated.

 

“I’m leaving in September, Clarke, that’s why you’re here. Bell is leaving in September as well, but you don’t seem give a shit about it.”

 

“You can’t blame me for your own mistakes, Raven.”

 

“Where did I go wrong, exactly? I’ve just been trying to protect you.”

 

“Not everybody is Finn, for fucks sake!” the blonde seethed, “Lexa isn’t Finn and Anya isn’t Finn. If you’re allowed to move on, so can I.” Clarke was also implying the fact that the two weren’t dating, because Raven refused to. 

 

“She’s fucking worse! What is she ten years older than you, or more?”

 

“It’s none of your business!” this time the alpha said angered, making a sharp noise with her first colliding with the table. Many other patrons were startled by the noise just like the omega that was looking at Clarke with wide eyes. “If you can’t accept my relationship with Lexa, there’s nothing to talk about,” the blonde said, taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.

 

“Look at what she made you become, you’re not the kind of alpha that would ever treat her friends like this!”

 

“I am, Raven, that’s the point! I’ve hurt Wells and I humiliated him. That is who I am.”

 

“You’re not! You’re a sweet girl and you’d never let me do what you’re doing with that woman. You’d never let anybody hurt me the way Finn did.”

 

“You don’t know what she’s like! You only know the teacher, but she’s completely different at home! You can ask Anya! She saved her and Lincoln. If you knew her, I’m sure you’ll change your mind!”

 

“Anya doesn’t talk about her,” Raven said with a faraway look, “The only thing she said on the topic was that as soon as Miss Woods realizes you’re a mistake, she’ll make you disappear.”

 

“A fucking charmer,” the alpha said bitterly.

 

“This isn’t about Anya.”

 

“It could be though,” Clarke said, earning a guilty look from the other girl, “She’s good for me.”

 

“You bit her! You’re seventeen and you bit her!”

 

“It was my choice! That’s what you don’t get! She’s tied to me, but I’m not! I could leave anytime, but I want to stay.”

 

“You would never leave. I know you, Clarke. Even if you’d hate her, you’d never leave because she has your bite. You’d just be miserable in a relationship you don’t want, because you’ve taken a vow with that bite and you’ll respect it until your last day.”

 

“I… I know, but I want to stay with her now. I can’t think of the ifs.”

 

“But I can!” Raven said, ready to launch herself in a new speech.

 

“No! I’ve had enough of this! I love her, Rae and I’m not leaving her! You can accept it or just fuck off!”

 

“Very mature behavior, Clarke. Bravo!” the Latina said, clapping.

 

“I don’t give a fuck. If you can’t accept my choices, you shouldn’t call me ever again. I don’t agree with you and Anya fucking, but I’ve never said shit about it, because I trust your judgement! I’m not stupid and I know what I’m doing!”

 

“Clarke, I, you’re my friend, one of my best friends. I love and I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

 

“You’re the only one hurting me Raven.”

 

“I just want to protect you!”

 

“It doesn’t change what you’re doing. I get what you’re doing, but I want to make my own choices and in the end if you’re right, you’ll get bragging rights, but for now nothing will change.”

 

“Clarke, please, just listen to me! You need to stop this before this gets worse!”

 

“It’s already too late, I’ve bit her and I’m staying.”

 

“Fuck! Why do you have to be such a shithead?!” Raven almost screamed, frustrated.

 

“I was born this way,” Clarke shrugged.

 

Finally a sheepish waitress approached their table with what Clarke had ordered.

 

“I’m sorry for the long wait, but you were talking animatedly and I didn’t want to disturb you,” the girl said, positioning the tea in front of the alpha.

 

“Thanks,” the blonde smiled, making the girl blush. “You made the right choice,” she said, complementing the omega while the girl chuckled and left.

 

“You could have anybody you’d want. I don’t get why you gotta be like this!” Raven whispered while the waitress was walking away.  

 

“I don’t care. I already got what I want,” the alpha said as she shrugged again, “I don’t even look at other omegas anymore.”

 

Raven gave her a surprised look. “Jesus, who are you?”

 

“Fuck off, Reyes,” the alpha scoffed, “I’m not a pig head.”

 

“Uh, I beg to differ. I’ve never met anybody other than you that could turn any situation in a sexual one.”

 

“That’s because you can’t meet yourself.”

 

“Ah! You’re so funny Griffin!” the omega said in a sarcastic monotone, only earning a glare from Clarke, “Anyway, let’s move on more important stuff! Monty’s got the house clear for the last weekend of school, so we’re throwing a party. The ‘we’ includes you too by the way. Anya and Lincoln are coming as well. No worries. They’re gonna behave.”

 

“Are you asking me to come to the party or are you telling me?”

 

“I’m telling you sweety. Also stop being an ass and ask Bell to hang out. The dumbass is feeling abandoned.”

 

“Whatever,” Clarke grumbled, looking at the time on her phone, “I need to head home now, though. Can you drive me?”

 

“Oh, for fucks sake you have curfews now?”

 

“We have school tomorrow,” the alpha deadpanned.

 

“Deflection is not an answer,” Raven grinned.

 

“I have can we please go, now!”

 

“It depends. I wanna know if she withholds sex if you’re late,” the omega smirked.

 

“She withholds it anyway,” the alpha huffed. “Can we please go?” she asked again, standing up, to pressure the other girl.

 

“You’re already grounded?” the brunette snickered.

 

“Something like that. Now move your ass!”

 

* * *

 


	24. Chapter 24

“Clarke, dinner’s ready,” her mother said, entering in her little art study.

 

“Yeah. I’ll be there in a sec,” the alpha said, cleaning her hands on a cloth.

 

“Why are you painting two people kissing with their faces covered with a sheet?” her mother asked, concerned.

 

“It’s for the art class, mum. We’ve been told to pick a surrealist painting and copy it.”

 

“Couldn’t you choose something a little less… disturbing?”

 

“Nope. I like this too much.”

 

“Ok,” her mother sighed, looking at the painting warily, ready to go back in the kitchen.

 

“Umm mum, can I ask you something?”

 

“Yeah, sure. What is it baby?” her mother said, re-entering the door.

 

“I need a piece of marble or maybe red stone? Do you know where I can find them?”

 

“Yeah, I have a friend that works in construction I can ask him. What do you need them for?”

 

“I’ve never tried sculpting. And with the techniques of the surrealism, it just looks amazing. I guess that maybe the red stone is better, less pricy for a beginners. I’ll probably need to make a few tries before it comes out right… Let me know how much it is and I’ll pay you back,” the younger alpha said absentmindedly.

 

“No,” her mother said, determined, “You’re not paying for anything! I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense. Come on, now or it’ll get cold.”

 

“Mum, it must cost at least a couple hundred dollars. Let me pay you back.”

 

“No. Move it now, young lady. I’ve made lasagna and I won’t eat it cold.”

 

“Mum, mum...” the blonde said, trying to call back her mother, but the woman had already escaped from her and the conversation. “Stubborn woman,” she grumbled under her breath.

 

* * *

 

“It is a beautiful piece, Clarke,” Dante’s soft voice praised her. The young girl was putting her tools away. She had brought the painting at school because she’d have to show it tomorrow to her teacher.

 

“Thank you Mr. Wallace,” the blonde beamed to the old alpha.

 

The man irradiated power and security in such a peaceful way that the blonde found herself fascinated with the specimen her principal was. 

 

An old time alpha. They didn’t need to be aggressive to exude their dominance. You just felt the need to respect them. 

 

“Oh darling, you don’t need to thank me. I’m just stating a fact,” he smiled to her, grabbing a stool to sit next to her. “Your mother came to see me last week,” he added calmly, “You want to make two years in one apparently.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Do you already know what you’d like to do in college?”

 

“Uhm, well I’d like to take art, but I guess I should settle on something that could actually give me a secure paycheck. So maybe graphic?”

 

“Well, this might not be the best answer from a principal, but I think you should follow your dreams. Not relay on the second best just because it’s easy,” the man said with a mischievous grin on his face, “I have a degree in Art, and before I’ve met my wife, I have tried the life of the starving artist and it was the best time of my life. Every time I sold a piece happiness would try to make my heart burst. It is the best feeling in the world.”

 

“It sounds amazing,” the young girl said, being hung on every word he said, “But, why did you stop? Your wife didn’t accept your lifestyle?”

 

“Oh, no darling, she was a free spirit like me,” he chuckled “We would sleep under the sky and bathe in the ocean every day, but then she got pregnant with Cage and we realized that we couldn’t do that anymore. Her pregnancy was hard and she needed to lay down most of the day. We couldn’t live in a roulette anymore so I became a teacher at Polis University and then I came here. When I realized I couldn’t spend the right amount of time with my family, the job was eating up all of my time.”

 

“Oh, my God! You weren’t a starving artist if you landed a job like that! I know for sure that Polis has only the best teacher in art and offers one of the best scholarships in the field! I’ve been eyeing the program since I was fourteen.”

 

Dante chuckled, showing the gap between his front teeth. It gave him even more charm than Clarke thought possible. “I was rather successful for a period of time.” He then scratched his nonexistent beard and then said, “I shouldn’t get involved with the students decisions on their future, but I haven’t seen anybody as talented as you in a very long time, Clarke. Polis University is cooperating with the Gilford association to give the opportunity to some students to travel Europe during their college years. They are basically using Polis as a way to make the young artists know of this possibility, but the university can only send ten younglings to the program and is calling for a show of young talents. One piece and if it is one of the ten best sold, you’ll get a spot, but only if you pass the judgement of the Polis professor,” he said, smiling, “And I’m sure you could get a spot.”

 

“Oh my God. It would be amazing to land that spot!” the blonde said, charmed by the idea, but soon rethinking of it. She’d have to leave Lexa for four years. “But it’s a big commitment, I guess,” she said, toning down her excitement. 

 

“It is in a way,” the old man said, warmly, “That is why now it would be the perfect time. You are young and free.”

 

“Yeah, I am,” she sighed, picturing her lover’s face, “But, I’d be leaving everyone I love behind. I don’t know if I’ll find them again when I come back.”

 

“Well, if those people really love you I’m sure they’ll wait for you. But it isn’t a pressing matter. The contest are officially open until January. All you need to have is a piece you like before Christmas. You can decide calmly.”

 

“Thanks for letting me know, sir. I appreciate it.”

 

“You deserve it, Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke decide it would be better to not inform Lexa about the Gilford program.

 

After many thoughts that occurred while her blood was being taken, she decided to not make a fuss out of this.

 

There was no point of doing that. It was an if and if she’d actually manage to pass the professor’s examination, she’d still have to be one of the ten best sold pieces at the show with over fifty other participants.

 

She was still not sure if she was going to even submit a piece. She had nothing and January was so far away. The alpha couldn’t even think of it.

 

“That’s it. We’re good,” Nyko said, putting a little band aid where the needle had stung. The bearded man had settled on the hello kitties one.

 

“Seriously?” the alpha said, glaring at him.

 

“We’re out of the Ninja Turtles ones,” he said as he shrugged, barely hiding his grin behind his mustaches.

 

“So funny. I can’t stop laughing,” Clarke said with her best sarcastic voice.

 

“I know, I should’ve become a comedian,” he said with a booming laugh, “Anyway, back to important business. I’ll schedule you an appointment for Thursday, so that in the lab they have enough time to check your blood.”

 

“Sounds great,” the alpha said, still not standing from the chair, earning a weird look from Nyko who raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“You better give me my candy, big guy or I ain’t leaving,” the blonde said, crossing her arms over her chest, while Nyko laughed again, “And don’t think to give me any of that shitty flavors, like pineapple or lemon. I’ll take only strawberry.”  

 

“I should have seen this coming,” the beta rolled his eyes, handing the alpha what she desired.

 

Clarke grabbed the lollipop and put it in her mouth before jumping off the bed, waving her goodbyes to the good doctor.

 

* * *

 

“......I have to grab the results on Thursday,” Clarke told Luna what happened that day.

 

“Are you afraid of the outcome?”

 

“Yes,” the blonde said, earnestly, “I mean, I feel fine, but a lot of bad diseases won’t make you feel sick until they’re killing you. My mum spends most of her days saying that to patients.”

 

“But she spends most of her day saying that many other things are easily curable, Clarke. If you feel fine, most of the times is because you are fine,” Luna said, smiling.

 

“Yeah, that’s also true,” the young alpha smiled back, scratching the nape of her neck, “I might have also done something I shouldn’t have…”

 

“Let me guess. You googled your symptoms.”

 

“Yeah,” the blonde chuckled.

 

“Forget all about what you read,” the therapist said, rolling her eyes, “Trust only Nyko. He is a good doctor. If he isn’t nervous, there’s no need for you to be.”

 

“Ok, you’re right,” Clarke smiled to her, taking a deep breath, “I have nothing to worry about. He’s totally relaxed.”

 

“Something else you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Uhm, yeah there is, but it’s not like it’s a reality. It’s just a if.”

 

“Tell me about it.” the older alpha said, getting comfy on her leather chair.   


 

Clarke told her about the Gilford program. Since finding out the previous day, she had been thinking about it constantly. “I’m not sure if I should tell her or not. I mean I’m not even sure if I’ll get a spot. There are going to be hundreds or maybe thousands of people competing for a spot. I feel like it would be starting a fight when there’s no need.”  

 

“But if you don’t tell her, you’ll break her trust,” Luna concluded for her.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It is up to you, Clarke.”

 

“Don’t remind me!” the young alpha said, rubbing her face with both hands, “Waiting isn’t a bad thing, right? I’ll just tell her later. I’m not even sure if I want to try to get in.”

 

At that the therapist only raised an eyebrow.

 

“Shit. I’m not kidding anyone, am I?”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, buddy!” Wells greeted her, bumping his shoulder to hers, “Long time no see!”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Clarke said sheepish.

 

“No worries, I know you’ve been busy. So was I,” the boy said, sighing.

 

“Why?”

 

“Studying for the last test this year. I can’t believe they’re making us do it one week before the end of the school,” he grumbled.

 

“You’re joking? Who’s the bastard? Wallace?”

 

“No, Junior hasn’t shown his face around school for a month. It’s his replacement, Mrs. Tsing, a major bitch if you ask me, who is making us do that.”

 

“Where the hell did he go?” Clarke asked, surprised.

 

“Dunno. Mr. Vie said he’s sick. But I think he just wanted an extra month of vacation.”

 

The blonde snorted, “I second that.”

 

“Yep. So how everything’s going?” the boy asked with tender eyes, gesturing to her entire body.

 

“Fine, I guess. I’ll get the results Thursday,” she said as she shrugged.

 

“Worried?”

 

“Yeah,” she said with a sigh, stopping to grab some books out of her locker.

 

“I’m sure you’re fine,” he said with a tender smile to her.

 

“I hope so. Luna and Nyko aren’t worried, so I guess I shouldn’t be either.”

 

“I agree,” he smiled.

 

“Whasssup!!!” Jasper said, making the both of them jump.

 

“Jesus, Jas!” Wells said, while Clarke punched him.

 

“Ouch, that was not cool, buddy,” the boy said, touching his shoulder.

 

“You watching Scary movie again, without us, is not cool,” the blonde rebutted.

 

“I always ask on the chat, but the only one that actually comes to my movie nights is Monty,” he said, pouting.

 

“That’s because you ask us ten minutes before you start and Monty is the only one that lives ten minutes away from your place.”

 

“Whatever,” he muttered, “What were you two losers talking about?”

 

“Wells’ test,” the blonde said rapidly. She hadn’t told a word about what she was going through to her friends, all except for Wells.

 

“You know I’m in his math class. It’s my test too,” he said, pretending to be offended by his friend’s forgetfulness.

 

“I know Jas, but I also know you couldn’t care less, because you are a math genius.”

 

“I’m a genius period,” he said cockily, “Anyway, Jordan’s out this weekend, so I was thinking we could have a get together before Monty’s big party the next week.” 

 

“Sounds great, Jas, count me in,” the blonde said while Wells nodded.

 

“Great! See ya!” he said, running toward Octavia’s locker.

 

“Still not talking to them?” Wells asked casually, failing miserably at hiding his curiosity.

 

“I talk to them. Just not about that.” 

 

“Why is that?”

 

“They’d hate me,” the blonde said, looking guilty to her friend.

 

“They are not going to hate you for what you did. They’ll understand you have a problem.”

 

“You think that excuses me?”

 

“No. But I think you’re not bad deep down. I’m sure they’ll understand when they see all of the efforts you’re putting into this.”

 

Clarke sighed, tired of all the things she had to do, of all the things she had to set right.

 

“I really don’t want to add something more to my to do list. I’m so tired.”

 

“You should dump your shitty job. They don’t pay you enough for how much you work.”

 

“I just need the school to be over,” she sighed again, “When are you going to leave?”

 

“The first of July.”

 

“Do you really have to?” the blonde whined, giving him puppy eyes.

 

“Yes! I can’t have any more of those Allie shit. I swear Clarke if I hear that name again, I’ll punch somebody.”

 

“A-”

 

“Don’t,” Wells said, pointing a finger in her face.

 

“Allie!” the blonde screamed, running down the hall, with her friend chasing her.

 

* * *

 

She was smelling like cheap food sold at an overpriced cost, when she finally got home.

 

Harper had given her a ride, so Lexa didn’t need to come pick her up.

 

She should think about getting her license.

 

As usual when she arrived at her floor, she was panting. She thought she’d find a lone plate on the counter and a sleeping Lexa. Instead, she found the dinner table set for two, with a candle and a red rose in the middle.

 

She neared the piece of furniture and on top of it, she found a brochure.

 

It was the New York’s moma special event. Magritte’s most important work was to be on display for the entire month of July, all together at the same time, in the same place.

 

For any of his fans, it would have been a mirage. 

 

And the mirage was right under the flier, two tickets for the second weekend of the month.

 

Jesus, they costed at least a couple hundred dollars.

 

So when Lexa appeared wearing a dress, the first thing that came out of her mouth was a bewildered “What is all this?”

 

“Uhm, it’s my way of doing something nice?” she said sheepishly, sounding like she was asking her and not saying it.

 

Clarke might have been a little harsh with her question.

 

“Why?” the alpha asked, still shocked.

 

“I have realized we haven’t had our first date yet,” the woman said almost embarrassed, still without her usual confidence, “Uhm, and with all of the things happening right now in our lives I thought we could use a distraction. Especially you…Something to take your mind off of all the problems that are going down in your life.”

 

“....I…” the alpha said, but never finished her sentence. Instead she stepped closer to her lover and cradled her face with her hands. “Can I…” she murmured as she licked her lips, “Can I kiss you?”

 

Lexa only nodded and the blonde closed the distance, chapped lips met soft ones, in a tender kiss.

 

The girl kept the kiss tamed, only their lips brushing until the teacher herself, asked for more with a velvety tongue insinuating her way in her mouth, without even an inch of resistance.

 

Clarke pressed Lexa’s body to hers, encasing the woman with her strong arms, making sure she knew what her kisses did to her, what craving they roused deep in the alpha’s chest.

 

“I love you,” the blonde said, breaking their lips meeting, incapable of expressing herself in ways the omega knew.

 

Because the woman closed the gap again, pressing all of her feelings between their bodies.

 

“You never say it back,” the young girl said, nuzzling her nose in the crook of her neck, keeping the woman pressed to her entire body.

 

“You know I do.”

 

“I know,” the alpha said sighing. She knew Lexa wasn’t going to say those words easily. She leaned on her lover, absorbing her warmth before a question popped up in her brain. “How did you know Magritte is my favorite painter?”

 

“That’s easy,” Lexa chuckled, “Mr. Vie always complains about you painting La Trahison Des Image every time he gives you a free assignment. He always says you just change the colors.”

 

“That’s not true!” Clarke said, offended, letting her lover go, “My techniques improves and the contrast I used in the last one were to express the brutality of human condition against the unattainable fantasies we torture ourselves with! I’m giving even more layers to the painting! How could he not see it?!”

 

“Do you want to know what else he says about you?”

 

“What?”

 

“That just like Magritte you like to troll too much,” Lexa smirked.

 

“Shit, he caught me!” the blonde said with a gaping mouth, “He never said a word about it in class!”

 

“He can’t exactly say, Griffin stop trolling me,” the omega laughed.

 

“I can’t believe it! I’ve been doing that for three years and always thought of being a genius for not getting caught. Instead, he was the one trolling me the entire time. God, I don’t know what’s real any longer.”

 

“Those are,” the teacher said as she grabbed the tickets from the table, “Unless I say those are not tickets.”

 

“God, uh, Lex don’t try to make a joke ever again. You’re bad at it!”

 

“You should reconsider yourself as a comedian as well,” the woman said, rolling her eyes, “Come on now, let’s eat or it’ll get cold.”

 

* * *

 

She had always thought that making out on the couch was something teenagers did. She was technically one, but she’d never thought that her 27 year old girlfriend would be so much into the idea.

 

After the delicious dinner, they were watching a movie and unlike most of the times, it was Lexa who started it.

 

Clarke was surprised. The omega had put on their sex ban and the alpha was waiting patiently for it to be lifted. Because they were heading exactly there, grinding on each other as well.

 

It’s not like the girl was opposed to it, but she believed it was weird for Lexa to change her mind so easily.

 

Especially since the omega’s hand had found its way in her boxers and was now slowly caressing her already stiff member.

 

“Not to complain. But, mmm, what’s going on?” the alpha asked while the woman was kissing her neck fervently.

 

“We’re kissing,” she said, diminishing the entire situation.

 

“I thought you said that sex was off the table,” the girl reminded her lover, gently resting her hand over hers to help set a slower pace on her cock, to savor every second of it completely. 

 

“I can’t resist you,” Lexa panted, hot and filthy over her glands, “You’ve been smelling so good the last few days. I need to have you…”

 

“You can have me anytime, babe,” the blonde said before moaning, while the teacher’s hand was sliding over her sensitive head, “Let’s get you out of that dress.”

 

The student’s free hand went behind her lover’s shoulder and unzipped the garment, then Lexa stood up, making it slide down her shoulders onto the floor.

 

Her bare breasts came into view, turgid peaks, stiff awaiting for the girl’s mouth to take them, but the alpha was too eager for her lover’s womb and instead freed herself of her underwear, tugging down the omega’s as well.

 

“Where did you put the condoms?” the alpha asked between kissing her pelvis and lower belly.

 

“We don’t need them,” the brunette panted, gripping the girl’s hair in her hands, “I’ve started with the pill.”

 

“How long have you been taking it?” the blonde asked, before marking the omega’s inner thigh with a dark bruise.

 

“Thre- Jesus…three weeks,” she stuttered out when Clarke took her clit in her mouth.

 

“That’s good,” the girl breathed on her overheated core, earning a glare from Lexa, and started to tug her on top of her.

 

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” the omega demanded, “Knotting is uncomfortable on the couch.”

 

“Who said anything about knotting?” Clarke smirked.

 

Lexa huffed embarrassed, “I thought….I guess…I-I want it.”

 

“Your wishes are my command,” the alpha smirked, scooping her up in her arm, almost running toward the room.

 

She put her lover on the bed and got rid of all of her clothes, before crawling on top of Lexa.

 

Their kiss was filthy, all tongues and saliva, while Clarke teased her lover’s wet sex with her length, sliding her head over her folds, probing the tight entrance.

 

The omega was usually hard to top. The blonde had to fight for dominance during all of their encounters. But that night Lexa left her speechless, because the teacher turned around on all four, pushing her ass upward toward Clarke’s pride.

 

“Lex? Are you ok?” the student asked, jumping backward.

 

 _What the fuck is going on?_ she thought.

 

“Yeah. I… I just want you to mount me,” the omega confessed with pink cheeks, still in position.

 

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked still unsure, settling her body on top of Lexa’s.

 

“Yes. Just do it,” the omega ordered. It was kind of funny how she was ordering the alpha to submit her.

 

Lexa had never been so eager to mate, but she said she was fine, so Clarke grabbed her hard cock and gently pushed on the slick entrance.

 

The brunette was so wet, her trimmed curls were glistening in the shallow light of the room, while the blonde was making all of her walls crumble down.     

 

It felt so good to be inside of her again, it was where she belonged.

 

Clarke placed her hands on top Lexa’s intertwining their fingers, gently sheathing her length inside of her lover.

 

“Faster,” her omega ordered, scowling to the alpha’s slow pace.

 

“I like this pace,” Clarke whispered sultry on her ear. She was making love to Lexa. She had always made love to her woman. She wasn’t going for a mindless fuck, like the teacher seemed so keen to have.

 

“Please,” Lexa begged, biting her gland, earning a hard thrust of Clarke hips that made her gasp. “I need it,” the omega said hoarsely, twisting an arm to grab the alpha’s mane and pushing her back against the blonde’s front managing to straddle her legs while her cock was still inside her.

 

Then the omega did that thing, that thing that made the poor girl go mad.

 

She rotated her hips, once, twice, making her knot slide over the pulsing entrance, while the brunette seemed to try to impale herself on it.

 

Clarke surged forward, pushing Lexa’s front on the mattress, pounding inside of her brutally.

 

All of her weight was pinning her body on the bed, while her hands were holding the omega’s hips still. The headboard was banging on the wall, producing harsh sounds deep in contrast with the teacher’s sweet sounds.

 

“That’s what you want?” Clarke growled in her ear.

 

Lexa didn’t answer. She only let out a desperate cry of her lover’s name.

 

The alpha feeling unsatisfied bit her gland and with a growl shook her lover to the core, still frenetically fucking her.

 

“Yes!” the omega screamed, while her soft walls were crumbling down, clamping on the alpha’s member viciously, and the immense knot was forcing them to open up again and accept their gift.

 

Clarke’s loins never stopped to pump once the bigger part of her pride was finally sheathed inside of her omega. This time her teeth didn’t break the skin. They only left a dark bruise, while the alpha screamed her pleasure to the air, a beautiful symphony of their cries, before collapsing on Lexa’s body.

 

When the heat was gone and they had both recovered their breath and Clarke was ready to doze off in a very alpha fashion, she felt Lexa’s nose nuzzle her temple.

 

Their position wasn’t the best to allow post coitus cuddles, but the pitiful whine the teacher emitted pulled a string the young girl’s heart and Clarke rolled on her side.

 

She maneuvered herself, trying to hover over the woman, twisting the lower part of their tied bodies, to look in the woman’s eyes.

 

The action wasn’t easy and more than once Lexa whined in discomfort, but in the end they managed. 

 

“Did you like it?” Clarke asked between small pecks on the omega’s lips.

 

“Yes.” the woman said, not quite meeting her eyes. She seemed embarrassed by her admission and instead of speaking, she went to suck a mark on the girl’s gland.

 

“What is it?” the young girl asked, nuzzling her cheek.

 

“Nothing,” Lexa said, still bashful, “I…I don’t let alphas mount me unless I’m in heat.”

 

“Are you in heat?” Clarke asked a little dumbly. She would have realized if her omega was.

 

The woman shook her head. “In august,” she murmured, trying to scoot closer to Clarke, making the blonde thrust hard twice, while she closed her eyes and her beautiful features were twisted in a focused expression.

 

“Sorry,” the alpha said a little sheepish. “You should stay still, when I knot you,” she said a little concerned. She didn’t want this to be painful in any way for herself or her lover.

 

“You don’t need to apologize,” the omega said as she smiled softly to her, before scratching her bare thigh with short nails, earning another thrust, closing her eyes in pleasure again, “I like it.”

 

“Good,” the blonde purred, hugging her lover, bringing her closer to her body, while the tremors shook the both of them.

 

Clarke always tried to avoid the purring. She had always been loud, but with Lexa it felt right, and the omega never complained when the girl let out her affection this way.

 

“You’re the most important thing in my life,” Lexa said out of the blue, surprising Clarke.

 

“Lexa, is everything ok?”

 

“Yes, yes,” the omega said, nodding fervently, “It’s just that…that lately I’ve felt lonely without you. I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

 

“You pushed me away,” the alpha said, maybe a little childish, but it was her truth.

 

“I don’t want to lose you for that.”

 

“You don’t have to do this to make me stay,” the blonde said, kissing her cheek gently, “I don’t want you to submit. As frustrating as it is, I don’t want that.”

 

“I wanted it...” her omega said, nuzzling her shoulder. “You,” she heaved, “You are different.”

 

Clarke gave her a confused look.

 

“Your smell. It made me need it.”

 

“It’s just me, Lex,” Clarke reassured her lover, searching in her deep green eyes the right answer, the right thing to say to put her mind at ease.

 

“Yes, but... different?”

 

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say, Lex.”

 

“I don’t either,” the woman sighed, “Maybe, I’m just tired. I should rest.”

 

“Yeah. Sleep well, my love,” the blonde whispered, kissing her temple, holding her tight until her breath evened out, wondering what her mate meant.


	25. Chapter 25

Clarke and her mother were seated at Nyko’s desk.

 

The beta had an emergency so he had to leave the two alphas waiting for him.

 

The blood tests results had finally arrived and it was time for the girl to finally know if there was something wrong.

 

Waiting even more than what she was supposed to was excruciating.

 

She hadn’t slept one bit that night and at school she had been useless.

 

She was so glad that Lexa had taken care of her in the morning, covering her with affection, taking her mind off what was about to come.

 

“I’m so sorry, I’m late!” the doctor said, entering the room, a little out of breath.

 

“It’s fine, Nyko, we understand.” Abby said calmly. Clarke was pretty sure her surgeon training was the only thing that didn’t let her mum snap like a twig. Her anxiety was kept under control unlike the blonde’s.

 

“So?” the younger alpha asked, not wanting to waste any more time. She needed to know, like she needed air.

 

“I believe I have good news,” the man said, smiling broadly, “But, it is only a conjecture I have made with the results. Nothing proven, but still I am a little giddy over this, Clarke. You have to understand that. What I’m about to say is something big!”

 

“Say it then!” the girl almost barked, not caring about all of the bullshit the beta was saying.

 

“Yes, yes. Of course,” he chuckled, embarrassed, “From the results, I think you are perfectly fine.”

 

“What?” Clarke asked astonished. So that was it? She was just crazy? An animal that couldn’t learn how to act properly in society?

 

“I wasn’t done,” the burly man scolded, “As I said before, I have a conjecture that could mean you are perfectly fine, Clarke, because if I’m wrong, I don’t know what to make of your results.”

 

“Nyko, stop being cryptic. Just say what you think.” This time it was Abby that scolded him.

 

“I think Clarke is a Prime, Abby.”

 

“Are you high?” the older alpha asked, making her daughter laugh, and rapidly hide it behind a fake cough.

 

Nyko chuckled again. “No absolutely no. Look at this, Abby,” the man said as he gave her mother the sheet with the results. While she was reading them, he continued talking, “Each one of her hormonal level is at least double of any normal person. Her testosterones levels are three times higher for Christ’s sake! She should be death, God… She wouldn’t have space in her veins to contain blood…”

 

“Unless her blood pressure was higher, her body should be making twice of the platelets as well, if this isn’t wrong,” her mother interrupted him with a bewildered face.

 

“Abby, it isn’t wrong… I’ve made them check twice! This is the only rational explanation! I can’t believe it either but that’s the reality!”

 

“This can’t be right, Nyko! It’s impossible!”

 

“How about we make me understand as well?!” Clarke almost roared. Her frustration had been raising to higher level since the two had started to talk among themselves, leaving her completely in the blue.

 

“Yes, I’m sorry, Clarke,” he said sheepish, “Do you know what a Prime alpha is?”

 

“Yes, an alpha that leads alpha, basically. It’s just a fairy tale though,” the blonde shrugged.

 

“Actually, no…They’re not,” Nyko smiled to her. “You see human descends from wolves, and unlike us, wolves still wonder in packs. Science had always asked why we don’t have Prime as well. The answer had been uncovered in the eighties by a scientist named Becca Primheda, the woman who unlike many of her predecessor, asked herself why haven’t we found them? Because unlike wolves that have a Prime for each pack, we have a different society and our intellectual evolution has brought us to respect the brain more than the body superiority. Evolution found them useless for humanity future so it has eliminated this trait almost completely. That’s why human Primes are much harder to find and basically non-existent,” the doctor said enthusiastic of his tale, “But Becca believed they existed and in the end she found one! Allie Primefaya, the first human Prime alpha ever tested in history!”

 

“Allie Primefaya…” Clarke said under her breath. “You mean the crazy dictator?” she asked, horrified.

 

“Yes! Her!” the doctor said with excited shiny eyes, while Clarke only wanted to puke at being compared to a woman that killed her entire nation out of spite. She didn’t want her people to have democracy. When they asked help from USA, the alpha made a nuclear bomb explode on her people. The woman was obviously long gone from her nation when she pressed the button. History books don’t mention what Nyko had just said. They only say that Allie was recovered in a mental health facility for her own good, until her dying day.

 

“I have studied it,” the blonde said, frowning, “Books don’t say anything about this. It’s something important so why they didn’t talk about it!”

 

“It isn’t mentioned because Allie was the one of five exemplar of Prime that had been found and studied. Her clinical case was considered an anomaly. Academically, this situation is considered as a chronic pathology, of the body, not the mind, so it wasn’t taken in consideration,” he explained. “But you’re not sick, Clarke! It only means you are different and different isn’t always a bad thing,” the man said as he smiled kindly at her, “It means you are special!”

 

“Are you sure this isn’t wrong?” Abby asked again.

 

“Yes, Abby, I’m sure.”

 

“Did you go into rut, Clarke, since you presented?” her mother asked, making her blush.

 

“Uhm, no.”

 

“Oh my God,” the older alpha in the room whispered.

 

“Mum?” Clarke asked a little unsure of how to proceed, because her mother was pale as a sheet.

 

“Oh my God,” the woman said again.

 

“What?!” Clarke asked confused.

 

“Presenting for Primes is just like for other alphas, Clarke,” Nyko said, “It starts with a rut and for female exemplars, like you, the testicle drop. Then your body starts to grow into your adult form. This transition finishes just like it started with a rut. From then on, you’ll have regular ruts. Here comes the difference in common alphas, it happens around the age of 21 but in Primes it happens sooner. The late bloomer of the five, I’ve talked to you about, happened to be 18. Considering testosterones is really high in your blood, I suspect your body is about to reach adulthood.”

 

“Uhm, but what do we do for my aggression?”

 

“Well, right now we can’t do anything,” the man said sheepishly. “That is why your mother asked about your ruts. Only in life or death cases, doctors suggest hormonal regulators to alphas, betas, or omegas that hadn’t reached adulthood,” he said as he scratched his beard pensive before continuing, “And I have to be honest, I’d like to try less invasive methods before recurring to the pills.”

 

“Ok, sure,” the blonde said, ready to face whatever was coming her way, “What do you want me to do?” 

 

“I’d like for you to start practicing a sport, something with a lot of cardio. The studies on the other Primes show that martial disciplines are the ones that gives the best fruits. You should start to conduct a healthy sex life.” The alphas in the room blushed furiously, ignoring the other while the doctor kept talking. “Human Primes are monogamous, so it’d be better with a single partner and absolutely no use of mental altering substances.” 

 

Clarke stared at him for a whole minute.

 

 _Is he fucking kidding me?_ she thought.

 

“Your solution would be start to do sports and fuck more?” Clarke asked.

 

Her mother gasped for her manners, but the beta must be playing some sort of joke on her and she didn’t like to be made fun of.

 

“No, Clarke,” he said as he gave her a stern look, “Studies have proven that after you reach adulthood, hormonal imbalance are lower. You will be able to control yourself! Therapy will help. I highly recommend for you to not stop it. I’d say you need discipline. It had been successful in more than one case! Just because it is the hardest way, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”

 

“How many?” she asked. Something in his speech spooked her. He had been too vague with his data.

 

“Two,” he sighed, “Two out of five. You have 40% of possibility of accomplishment. You’ll get to live a normal life with your condition.”

 

“I want the pills. I want something sure,” Clarke said, glaring at him, “I want something that will make sure I don’t go crazy. Something outside of myself to keep me under control.”

 

“Clarke, please…I don’t think you understand,” her mother intervened, “You should understand your condition right now before demanding the pills. You see your body is a machine. A machine that can adapt to any circumstance. Right now, it is failing you, because it has yet to adjust to the level of hormones that rides your blood. You feel everything twice as strongly as anybody else. When you’ll reach rut, again your hormone levels will be twice of what are right now. Your body will be forced to evolve, to be stronger in order to support and accept the substance. It will adapt better and your brain won’t be sinking in the messages the hormones bring. It will create new synapses, thicker veins to contain blood that has twice of a normal person pressure, a stronger heart as well. It is just like you will be upgraded to the best version of you.”

 

“She’s right, Clarke,” Nyko supported her mother, “There are also many other negative effects of the suppressant you should consider before you set your mind on them.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like depression, tiredness, erectile dysfunction, liver and kidneys failures, even teeth and hair loss. It variates over an immense range. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that no Prime alpha has had a decent life under suppressant.”

 

“Erectile dysfunction?” Clarke asked disgusted by the prospect. She saw her mother face palm herself and Nyko sighed, while she thought of Lexa’s disappointed face, “But it could not happen to me?”

 

“Why do alphas only ever register that…?” the beta asked to the ceiling. “It won’t happen for sure. You could just experience a sexual appetite loss or nothing at all. It is only a possibility,” he sighed again, before talking some more, “How about we do this? We try with my approach first and if it doesn’t work, I’ll give you all the pills you want, if you’d still want them. Could that work for you?”

 

“We’ve got a deal,” Clarke rebutted, offering her hand to the good doctor.

 

* * *

 

Her mother had been hard to appease.

 

She had been a whirlwind of emotion after the pills deal. “Clarke are you crazy? You can’t do that? You could kill yourself! etc.” The alpha was not taking this lightly, quite the opposite really.

 

She wanted to be the best version of herself like Nyko said.

 

The easy way out was forbidden, unless she would go crazy, so she only had hard work in front of her.

 

She and Luna had.

 

The therapist had to study all of the information Nyko sent her for her case and find a good way to support the young alpha.

 

Luna tried to calm her down on the phone, listening to all of Clarke’s fears and calmly telling to her that they were understandable. She had also suggested for Clarke to wait until after the rut to be so obsessed by them. Maybe Nyko was right, maybe she’d get better once her body had stabilized.

 

They had also talked a little about how to face the impending rut but the therapist refused, she said they’d talk about it the next day. She had yet to study that part of Nyko’s files.           

      

She’d also have to tell Lexa.

 

She wanted to spend it with her omega, her first rut.

 

This time the doctor said it was going to hurt. Her mother had also told her about her experience. All alphas had ruts and for all of them was basically the same thing.

 

She really would have liked to unhear all that.

 

Especially the part when her mum mentioned the longs hours spent loving (mounting) her husband.

 

Erase! Erase! Erase!

 

She was still shivering.

 

But she kind of wanted to do the same to her omega.

 

She wanted to love her until she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She wanted Lexa all to herself. She wanted to sink her teeth in her supple flesh once again and drink her up. She wanted to do so many things to the woman she loved. By the time she got home, her erection couldn’t be hidden anymore.

 

Thank God, for shoulder bags! It was a little tricky to walk with the bag in front of her thighs, but she’d rather not earn a lot of well-deserved glares on the bus.

 

She didn’t want to become the weird perv on bus 36.

 

She just wanted to get back to Lexa unscathed.

 

The woman had been worried just like Clarke about this meeting. She had tried to hide it, not wanting to add more fuel to the alpha’s fears.

 

All in all she was kind of lucky. She had been theorizing fatal diseases for days. 

 

She was fine and other people would think of her situation as a blessing.

 

An alpha of alphas.

 

To her it only meant one thing, a curse.

 

She would never control herself, no matter what Nyko said. Her aggression wasn’t going anywhere.

 

“Hi,” Lexa whispered, rubbing her bicep. “You should sleep on the bed. I don’t want to hear you complain, because your neck hurts,” she joked.

 

Clarke smiled weakly at her attempt and opened her eyes.

 

She had been waiting for Lexa on the couch. The teacher had a meeting about finals that couldn’t be withhold anymore, considering her impending resignation.

 

“I’m not sleeping,” she said with scratchy and tired voice, while the omega was placing herself on top of her. Clarke was laying on her belly so the woman put her front on her back, her legs in between the alpha’s and she nuzzled her nose in the crook of her neck, letting all of her weight rest on the young girl.

 

“How did it go?”

 

“Bad, I guess,” the blonde sighed.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” her omega asked. Clarke was thankful to not be able to look in her green eyes. She knew she’d see only concern and the muted begging of her need for knowledge, if the shaky voice was anything to go by.

 

“The doctor said that I can’t do nothing, other than therapy for now.”

 

“But you’re fine, right? You’re not sick?”

 

“No, I’m fine,” the alpha sighed again, “Let me get up and tell you everything he said.”

 

Lexa removed herself and once they were finally seated, Clarke told her everything.

 

“Oh,” was all Lexa said. They looked in each other’s eyes for a few heartbeats before Clarke caught on the ridiculousness of her response and started to laugh hysterically, followed by Lexa after a few seconds.

 

“I’m not good with emotions,” the omega stated, drying her own tears.

 

“No, shit? I wouldn’t have known if you didn’t tell me!” the alpha joked.

 

“Now she sasses back too,” the brunette said with a pout, “Unbelievable.”

 

The blonde chuckled and threw herself on the teacher, encasing her in a hug and making her fall on her side on the couch, while the woman was ordering her to go do sass somewhere else.

 

“What do I do, now, Lex?” the alpha asked. She knew Lexa understood. She knew Lexa would know what to do next.

 

“We move on,” the omega said, stoic, “There is nothing else to do.”

 

“Just like that?” Clarke asked, insecure.

 

“Yes. I’ll be here all the way, Clarke,” Lexa assured her, “We will get through this. I’m sure we can.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke was sure of few things in life.

 

One of those was that she’ll never understand omegas.

 

None of them. She could barely understand her own. The others were a mystery she had no interest in solving.

 

That was why when Niylah approached her, she found herself bewildered.

 

If an omega ever called someone else’s name during sex with her, she’ll never consider talking to them again. God, she’ll pretend that aliens had abducted them from earth, just to not have to greet them in the hallways.

 

And Niylah had been doing just that since the “accident” at O’s.

 

Did Clarke still have to apologize for that?

 

Yes, she did. But she found herself wrapped in other things she thought were much more important to her, and she had, well, forgotten.

 

She was a little of an asshole.

 

“Hi,” Niylah said when Clarke reached her locker. The girl stood there, not moving away from the little door.

 

“Uhm, hi,” the blonde greeted, a little awkwardly, “How are you doing?”

 

“Good, thanks,” the omega said as she smiled at her, “It’s been awhile since we last talked.”

 

“Yeah,” the alpha agreed, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She really didn’t want to have this conversation anytime soon, or ever, but the time had arrived. “I thought it was better to stay away for some time. You looked pretty pissed.”

 

“Yep,” the omega said dry, glaring at Clarke.

 

“I, uhm, I’m sorry about that. I was an asshole.”

 

The older girl looked surprised at the alpha’s apologies. “I’d never thought to hear that from you,” she said, smiling.

 

“I’m full of surprises,” Clarke said with a smirk, joking a little.

 

“Yes, you are.” Niylah bit her lower lip, while her eyes travelled over her body. She was pretty sure she stopped for a few seconds to look better at what was stored between her legs.

 

Clarke felt a little uncomfortable at that.

 

She always hated when people stared at her chest. She found this even more annoying.

 

“So, we’re good now?” the alpha asked to make the girl snap out of her trance.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Niylah said, moving her eyes lazily all over her body, until she made eye contact again. “You coming at Monty’s party, this weekend?” she asked nonchalantly, fixing Clarke’s shirt collar. “I’ll never get why you keep wearing these shirts. You can never keep one of those collars straight.”

 

“I like them,” the alpha said icily, stepping back to make the girl stop. She quickly added an “I’ll be there,” hoping to make the girl focus on this. She really didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

“I’ll see you there, then,” the girl said all the while she smirked suggestive, letting a finger slide on her shoulder while she was rounding her.

 

Clarke shook her head, putting the books in her locker, leaving only the ones she needed in her back.

 

She’ll never understand omegas.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Clarke!” Mel said, grabbing her attention and Lexa’s, while the alpha was putting away her belongings in her back, after English class.

 

She was hoping to sneak a kiss in between classes. Something like that was pretty hard to obtain from her omega, but manageable if she was in a good mood.

 

“Huh?” the blonde asked, not smartly to the girl that had just talked to her, making her giggle.

 

What the hell did Mel Grant want from her?

 

She and her posse were the cool kids at school, Sterling, Dax etc.

 

She remembers pretty well when Mel had rejected her as a newly presented alpha two years ago, because she wasn’t cool enough to be her girlfriend.

 

“I said hi,” the girl said as she smiled at her.

 

“Uh, hi?” Clarke said back almost as if she was asking, “You need something?”

 

“I just wanted to know if you were going at Monty’s party?”

 

“Yeah, sure…” Why did everybody kept asking her if she was going to her friend’s party? She should be the one asking that!

 

“Great! You should come look for me. We’ve never hung out a lot. I feel like I’m missing something here,” Mel smiled seductively at her. The alpha was smelling a hint of mating pheromones too. _Seriously in front of a teacher?_

 

Clarke was so shocked by what the omega was doing that she jumped when she heard the blackboard eraser fall.

 

“Sorry,” Lexa muttered, grabbing it and continuing her job, acting as if she hadn’t heard anything.

 

She could forget that kiss, now.

 

“Uhm, I… maybe. I guess,” the blonde said, awkwardly, blushing furiously, making the redhead chuckle. She wasn’t exactly blushing because of Mel, but because of Lexa. She felt like she had been caught doing something wrong, even if it wasn’t her fault.

 

“You’re cute,” she complimented. “I guess, I’ll see you there, then,” she said before waving her goodbyes.

 

Now Clarke was left all alone to deal with Lexa.

 

_Great._

 

“You’re cute,” the teacher deadpanned, while the blonde was approaching her desk.

 

“I haven’t done anything,” the alpha defended herself, while the brunette only raised an eyebrow. “You were here! I mean, you saw!” she added, gesturing furiously, not knowing what else to say.

 

“Uh, I... maybe. I guess,” Lexa mocked her, copying her voice in a very bad way.

 

“I was trying to be polite,” Clarke groaned before she glared at her omega, “What did you want me to say? No fuck off?”  

 

“Yep, that would have been a better answer,” Lexa said sharply as she returned the glare.

 

Clarke sighed, knowing that this was not going anywhere. Lexa, in a good mood, was hard to convince to listen to her, let alone in a bad mood.

 

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” she asked, defeated, making a scene at school wasn’t a smart thing to do. “We can talk about it later,” she suggested.

 

“Better,” the omega said dryly.

 

“I’ll see you later,” the blonde sighed one last time, before leaving the classroom.

 

Lexa glared at her until she was out of her sight.

 

Why did Mel had to realize she existed now?

 

She’ll never understand omegas.

 

* * *

 

To speak out the truth, Clarke was never going to understand other alphas as well.

 

That day, after she had received an appreciative look even from Murphy, she was happily seated at a table in the cafeteria, stuffing her face with her sandwich as fast as she could.

 

She had decided to try to relieve her frustration with food.

 

She’d get pretty fat, pretty fast, but at least she wasn’t being violent, except with the sandwich.

 

“Easy tiger. Nobody is trying to steal your food,” Dax said with his friendliest smile, followed by two of his football buddies.

 

She looked at her sandwich, then at them again, and gulped.

 

A sandwich was never going to be enough to relieve the frustration of talking to the football posse.   

 

She should start to bring more food, if she wanted to go down that way.

 

“You mind if we sit?”

 

“Uhm, no,” Clarke said, looking at them warily. The cafeteria was full, so she thought they just needed a place to eat. If she was lucky, she could finish her food and escape before they’d start to annoy her.

 

They never liked her. They thought she was a pussy, because she slept with alphas and betas other than with omegas. Their friendly attitude made her even more suspicious.

 

“You know Josh, right?” Dax asked directly at her.

 

“Carter? He’s in Math class with Bell. Yeah I know him.” Josh was one of the few players that Clarke didn’t hate to talk to. He was a good guy and Bell’s friend.

 

“Yeah, he’s gonna leave this year. He’s our best linebacker. He’ll leave a big hole in our defense, you know.”

 

“I’m sorry to hear that?” Clarke said unsure. The only thing she wanted to say in reality was what the fuck is a linebacker?

 

“You should try for the team next year!” Dax proposed while his friends nodded along, “You’d be perfect for the position, I’m sure the coach will pick you, right away!”

 

What kind of twisted game were they trying to play on her?

 

Dax couldn’t be that smart or care enough for that.

 

“I’m not into sports. Sorry guys,” Clarke said as she shrugged, finishing her food faster now.

 

“Oh, come on, Griffin. We throw the best parties! You’d be invited to every one of them if you’d get into the team!”

 

“Uhm, I’ll think about it, I guess. But, uhm, I really need to go now. I need to call my grandma. It’s her birthday today, ya know. Don’t want to let her down,” Clarke word-vomited standing up from her seat, ready to go as far away as she could from this craziness.

 

“Sure, Griff. You’ve got time to decide,” he said smiling again, creeping Clarke out even more.

 

* * *

 

It might have been because Clarke had just punched him in the balls, but Bellamy reacted very poorly at that.

 

He started to scream and push her, like a rabid dog.

 

Clarke was pretty sure they would have started a fight in the parking lot if Wells, Octavia, and Raven hadn’t stopped them.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you Bell?” Octavia asked as soon as her brother stopped to try to lounge at the blonde.

 

“She’s the one who started!”

 

“She was just joking Bellamy!” Raven added, “You used to do this shit all the time without reason!”

 

Bellamy glared at the omega and then got in his pick-up and left without another word. 

 

“I’ve done nothing!” the blonde defended herself, before they could attack her.

 

“Yeah, we saw, Clarke,” Octavia reassured her, while Wells was looking at her disgusted.

 

“The hell are you looking at?” she almost barked at Wells, still wound up from the little fight she had with Bellamy.

 

“You smell weird,” the boy told her, earning a confused face from the blonde.

 

“You’re right,” Octavia agreed promptly, getting closer to Clarke, smelling her glands, while the alpha was trying to push her back, until Raven was on her doing the same on the other side.

 

“What the hell guys?!” Clarke exclaimed, pushing them back.

 

She looked around herself, hoping to not have drawn attention on them, but obviously found Lexa staring like a hawk at them, with her car door open.

 

Great.

 

“You smell really good,” Raven said, trying to smell her again, while Clarke pushed her back.

 

“I agree,” Octavia said, nodding furiously.

 

“I kind of think she smells like something rotting, actually,” Wells said, offering his opinion.

 

“Thanks, buddy,” Clarke dead panned, while Octavia was attacking her again, “Drop it! You can’t sniff at my glands! It’s weird! Stop!”

 

“Jeez, we had sex and now you’re acting all shy! Stop being a prude!”

 

“I’m not! You have a boyfriend! Go smell him!”

 

Octavia only rolled her eyes and muttered prude under her breath again, while Clarke was looking around to see if Lexa had seen that too. She really hoped she didn’t.

 

Thankfully her car was nowhere to be seen. She was pretty happy for that.

 

“I need to meet up with Luna,” she said, changing the topic, “Can you give me a ride, Wells?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” the boy said with a shrug, “Just keep the window down. I don’t want my car to smell like you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Luna opened her door gently, waiting for Clarke to get inside.

 

When the girl entered the study, the older alpha was shook by violent heaving. The blonde swore to God, she was sure her therapist was about to throw up in front of her.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you people?” the student asked, exasperated.

 

“Oh God,” the brunette said, opening all the windows and grabbing her trash bean in case of need, “You stink!”

 

Clarke smelled herself. She was sure she showered that morning. Lexa didn’t let her leave the house if she didn’t.

 

“I showered this morning! You stink!” the young alpha said a little childish. She’s had enough of people telling her that!

 

“You’re about to go into rut!” the therapist deadpanned. “That’s why alphas find your smell disgusting! Stay down wind!” the brunette said, gesticulating to a corner of the room.

 

“Oh, I… yes… Sorry,” the blonde said, finally realizing what the fuss was about, “Did Nyko tell you when it’ll start? I can’t go around and break into rut in the middle of the street.”

 

“Nyko said a week or two,” the woman said, heaving again, “I don’t think I can get through this session, Clarke.” She gave the girl a guilty look.

 

“Yeah, sure, it’s fine.” the girl said a little worried for the therapist, “But what am I supposed to do?”

 

“Give Nyko a call. I think he has more answers than me about this. If you need something, call me. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

 

As soon as the blonde was out of the door, she heard Luna wretch in the trash bean and gave to her glaring beta assistant a guilty look, before disappearing out in the streets.

 

* * *

 

“It’s normal for you to have this effect on people. Alphas will try to be your friends and omegas will fall at your feet,” Nyko gruffed on the phone.

 

“Yeah, but Luna found me disgusting, how do you explain that?”

 

“She is a strong alpha, Clarke. She found herself threatened by you and her instincts told her to fight back. That’s why your smell was so bad for her.”

 

“Ok, yeah I guess, that’s good. So, you think I should start staying home, waiting for the rut to hit?”

 

“Actually, no. I believe you have at least a week to wait, if not two. I can’t tell you to stay holed up in the house for so long, without a valid reason. If you’d like, I can make a calculation of the day, but these things are always hard to guess. Even the temperature could influence your rut.”

 

“If you do that, how wrong could it be? I mean a day? A week?”

 

“I am a confident man, Clarke, so I’d say a day or two. I’ll need you to come to the hospital though. I need to extract testosterones directly from your glands.”

 

“The ones in my neck, right?”  

 

“I won’t touch anywhere below the shoulder. Relax. I’ll need your mum’s signature for this procedure and even if Abby is still in denial, I’d like to know if I can proceed and assess your Prime alpha condition.”

 

“I should ask my mum for that,” Clarke sighed and scratched the back of her head. Nyko and Abby had gotten in a professional fight. Her mother wanted to run down every other scenario before thinking that the Prime theory was right, while Nyko thought it was stupid, because they already had their diagnosis.

 

“Yes, try to talk to her,” the man sighed, “I’ll schedule an appointment for tomorrow. Just let me know what test I’d have to run.”

 

“Sure. Thanks Nyko. Sorry for the mess.”

 

“It’s ok, Clarke. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Clarke then, proceeded to open the door.

 

She was finally getting used at climbing 7 flights of stairs and wasn’t panting when she arrived at destination.

 

Lexa glared at her. That’s all the woman did lately.

 

“Hi, babe!” Clarke said, hoping that Lexa had forgotten what happened during the day.

 

Hoping wasn’t a crime.

 

Lexa only glared harder.

 

“Are you still mad for what happened today?” Clarke asked, exasperated.

 

“Why shouldn’t I be mad?!”

 

“Because it wasn’t my fault!” the alpha defended herself.

 

“I know!” this time Lexa roared, exasperated herself. “I’m not mad at you, Clarke,” she said, almost defeated.

 

“Lex, come on,” Clarke cooed, trying to hug her lover, while the brunette was trying to put some distance between the two of them. “I don’t care about her.” 

 

“But when you will? When you’ll find somebody that interests you?” the teacher said, trying to flee from her arms.

 

“I won’t,” the alpha said, confident. “Look at this,” she ordered, caressing her bitten gland, “This proves I don’t want anybody else! Only one omega will have my bite and it’s you.”

 

“You’ve never wanted to bite me!” Lexa almost spit in her face, with teary eyes. Clarke was lost and hurt. It must have showed on her face because her omega explained herself, “You said it that night…You said that it was all me. That I took your knot and you couldn’t control the rest.”

 

“That’s... I was mad, Lexa! I was just so mad!” the blonde said, frustrated. Lexa’s doubts about her were a results of her own actions. “I’ve never meant it!” 

 

“Back off!” the omega said, pushing her away, breaking their connection.

 

The alpha’s first instinct was to run after her, but she stilled and instead focused on her words. “Lex, please, listen to me. I’m sorry for what I said that night. I’m an idiot and I didn’t think about what I was saying, but I love you and I don’t regret being tied to you. I’ll never, ever regret it,” Clarke said softly, trying to take a step in her direction, holding out her hand for Lexa, and only Lexa to take. “Let me show you, how much I love you. How much I want to bite you again and again.”

 

Her big green eyes focused on her own, while her teeth were worrying her bottom lip, deep in contemplation.

 

“You’re mine, Lexa,” Clarke said, taking a step forward, “And I want to be yours.”

 

Her omega disregarded the hand completely, surging forward to merge their lips together.

 

Clarke hadn’t even realized the strength that the omega put behind the kiss had made her stumble toward the table, until her bottom hit it and she found herself looking at the ceiling after a hard shove from her lover.

 

 Lexa climbed up the table, she had already ridden her body from her pants and panties and Clarke was palming her beautiful ass, making her sit on her pelvis grinding on her pride.

 

The woman bit hard on her gland, pushing her entire body on hers, while the girl whimpered and writhed underneath.

 

“Do it!” she exhaled, “God, just fucking do it!”

 

Lexa kept her sharp teeth on her skin, making her hands scratch on her stomach, palming her breast, while the girl tried to unbutton her pants, with shaky hands, making the task much harder than it truly was.

 

The omega yanked her hands away, giving her a feral look.

 

“You’re mine,” she growled, caressing her throat with one hand, “And I’m in charge tonight. So you’d better be still.”

 

“Yeah,” Clarke conceded. “I’m yours.” she whispered, bringing her hands over her head on her own volition.

 

“Good girl,” Lexa praised her, biting her lobe, while Clarke only gulped the last moisture left in her mouth.

 

The omega pecked her again and dismounted from the table.

 

She undressed her lover slowly and when she was finally met with the hard length, she didn’t waste any time to make it disappear in her mouth.

 

Lexa massaged her knot and her balls, trying to make the muscles relax only to harden them with the force of her suction.

 

She gave her knot the attention it deserved, kissing and nibbling its swollen shell, gently moving her hand up and down the already leaking head.

 

Nobody has ever given Clarke the blowjobs Lexa did.

 

The woman knew her way around a cock.

 

“Lex, I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop,” the alpha whined as she warned her lover after the omega had tried to deep throat her hard rock length.

 

The brunette left her work there and climbed back on the table, after a quick peck on the alpha’s lips. She moved forward, going up and up, until the blonde was face to face with her glistening pussy, ready to be devoured and pleased.

 

Without another word, Clarke didn’t waste time and attacked her lover’s wet sex.

 

She gave a firm lick from her entrance to her clit, only to savor the salty taste, encasing her clit in her warm mouth, while Lexa was shaking over her.

 

She used her tongue to massage the sweet button just inside her entrance, she knew made Lexa go crazy.

 

Clarke had learned a few things on her omega’s body during their past encounters, and she knew that Lexa preferred when she sucked her clit and fingered her roughly, pressing hard on her front walls, making her pant in a few minutes.

 

She liked when Clarke didn’t play nice with her pussy and made her cum fast and dirty.

 

That’s exactly what she did, and Lexa repaid her efforts, grinding shamelessly on her fingers, taking them to the knuckles, crying in ecstasy while her cunt was shaking violently.

 

Her ragged breath were the most sinful melody the young girl had ever had the pleasure to listen to.

 

Before Lexa could register what was happening, Clarke was already behind her, holding her cock with one hand and her hips with the other.

 

“Can I?” she whispered hotly on her ear.

 

“Yes, mount me, Clarke!” the omega ordered and the alpha took action, letting out all of her dominance with her body and her scent, making her lover give her complete submission.

 

She escorted her lover’s head toward the table, making it gently rest on the flat surface, and she brought her hips a little higher before she impaled her on the spot in one hard thrust.

 

Her entire cock was deeply sheeted in her warm canal in a swift move and she kept her omega bent with her entire weight and her teeth in the flesh of her shoulder.

 

If Lexa wanted it rough, she was going to give it to her.

 

She angled every thrust a little upward, having found another sweet spot in her omega’s womb, while her knot was massaging the button at her entrance and Lexa only tried to take it every time she was pushing forward.

 

Lexa never learned to wait when it came to fucking. She wanted everything right away.

 

She shouldn’t have asked to be mounted if she wanted to have her way.

 

Clarke dislodged her mouth from her shoulder only to sink her teeth in her battered gland, pushing the upper part of her lover’s body harder on the table and her weight more firmly behind every thrust. Her knees were barely touching the woods while she kept giving it to the mess Lexa had become under her.

 

The woman was tightly holding the edges of the table, her forehead pressed on it and her back arched to provide Clarke something to hold onto. Still persistent and in a downwards position, she kept trying to grab her knot.

 

But the alpha, maybe a little pettily, didn’t grant her wish and kept fucking her through her powerful orgasm until she felt it subside, while her walls were clamping on her hard sensitive member, trying to milk it before she slammed violently her knot inside her entrance and Lexa roared with her shaken by the blonde’s loins that had no intention to stop.

 

Clarke kept fucking her omega. This time she raised herself to rest only on her knees, letting Lexa enjoy a little freedom, while in the little space the woman’s cunt conceded, she kept moving her immense knot.

 

The swollen bundle of nerves it had become was being spoiled by the omega’s velvety cunt that kept trying to pull it deeper.

 

She loved how much Lexa enjoyed to rotate her hips a little when she was pulling backward to gain more leverage. She felt her muscles shake in pleasure every time, making her cum with every re-entry, moaning and humming her approval for the gift received.

 

God, this woman will never make her stop to make her cum, she thought.

 

Clarke was in the middle of another gentle thrust when she felt her lover’s hand on her thigh, ordering her to stop.

 

“You ok?” the alpha asked right away, ready to stop everything.

 

“Yeah, I just need to change position,” Lexa said, a little embarrassed, “My knees hurt.”

 

“Of course, baby.” Clarke moved carefully and rapidly, making Lexa lay on her stomach and letting her stretch her legs, positioning her body over hers.

 

“Can I keep going?”

 

“Please, do,” Lexa eagerly agreed, placing her lips over her gland, earning a stronger thrust from her lover.

 

The alpha laced their fingers together before whispering “You can bite me.”

 

And to her surprise Lexa did, she jogged her hips ready to fuck her faster. She thought Lexa was going to push her teeth all the way this time, but before she could, she felt them glide, scratching her skin but not breaking her skin.

 

She soothed the skin with her tongue and Clarke hid her face in the crook of her neck, adding more strength behind every thrust, only to satisfy her primal instincts.

 

She knew it was uncomfortable for the both of them, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted something to distract from the pain of being rejected again.

 

“Clarke… Clarke!” the omega berated her, locking her hand in her mane to make her show her eyes and stop her movements, “It’s not safe yet.”

 

“I don’t care!” the alpha spit, her jaw clenched, and her eyes teary, a single drop left it’s trail on the side of her eye.

 

“I love you,” she whispered with a broken voice, “Don’t make me destroy us, before we even begin, please, Clarke. If you ask me again, I will. I’d do anything for you.”

 

Her blue eyes bore into her green ones, begging to have everything, everything they couldn’t have, yet.

 

Another tear fell and the alpha healed her sorrow in the eyes of her mate.


	26. Chapter 26

The party had been an awful idea.

 

She should have stayed home with Lexa, like the omega had begged her to do.

 

It wasn’t exactly begging, because Lexa was too proud to do that, but she had indeed tried to change her mind with a long, long love making session.

 

Clarke was almost convinced to knot her and forget about the stupid thing, but Wells, waiting in his car a few streets down, had been blowing up her phone for almost fifteen minutes and the alpha would feel too guilty to have made him come all the way to pick her up for nothing.

 

Instead, she showered, earning a scowl from her omega, and made her way to the waiting boy forty-five minutes late.

 

To say that Wells was disappointed was an understatement.

 

He didn’t talk for the entire car ride and left her as soon as they arrived at Monty’s place.

 

Thankfully Bellamy and Jasper, driven away from her usual groups of friends by Lincoln, welcomed her with arms outstretched, after Bellamy apologized for the parking lot obviously.

 

From what she understood, Nyko said that the closer she got to her rut, the easier would be to force others to submit without even trying.

 

Her involuntary secretion of pheromones had reached top levels, so that stronger alphas were much more willing to submit to her.

 

With Bellamy was like that, but Anya was another story.

 

The dirty blonde alpha had been throwing daggers at her as soon as she laid eyes on her form.

 

She was pretty thankful that the older girl had been doing that from the other side of the room, until Niylah, drunk out of her mind wobbled in her personal space.

 

“Hey tiger!” the girl purred, spilling her drink on Clarke’s shirt, before using her shoulder to keep herself upright, making the alpha stagger along with her.

 

“Easy, there,” Clarke said grinning, trying to grab her red solo cup, giving it a sniff to understand what was inside. It was moonshine, the toxic concussion that Jasper and Monty made in their basements, “How many of these did you have?”

 

“I lost count after the fifth,” Niylah giggled, stumbling more toward the alpha, basically pushing their bodies together.

 

“You’ll regret this in the morning,” Clarke joked, trying to disentangle herself from the omega.

 

“I’ll regret much more than this in the morning,” Niylah said as she smirked before leaning down to smear a kiss on Clarke’s lips.

 

It didn’t last more than two seconds, before the alpha realized what was happening and she was shoving the older girl away from her, directly into Jasper’s arm.

 

“What the fuck do yo-” was the only thing that managed to come out of her mouth before a fist collided with her jaw.

 

That was the last thing she remembered before her alpha took control and she was attacking her aggressor.

 

She remembered flashes of limbs and the crunching noise of a nose breaking under her fingers.

 

Her rage always manifested like a white hot frenzy in her brain. The next day, with pictures of what she did but not the entire thing, only when she earned the other alpha’s submission, the white spots disappeared from her memories.

 

The next day, she was ashamed to admit it, but inside of her head her instincts were barking to her to keep going, to teach Anya a lesson to remember her whole life.

 

She felt good, accomplished when she earned it, and wanted more.

 

Her power over the other alpha was going to her head.

 

That feeling was almost as good as an orgasm for her alpha.

 

Looking back at it, years later, Clarke realized she owed Monty a big thank you, because the beta boy emptied a bucket of iced water over her head, when it looked like she had no intention of standing and walk away from the fight.

 

Instead she found another target for her anger, the poor beta boy. He squeaked in fear when he saw the blonde charge for him, trying to get away from her as fast as he could.

 

Thankfully Lincoln, Wells and Bellamy were nearby and finally took action in restraining her, dragging her away from all the noise in the backyard, pumping out both submissive pheromones in an attempt to not make her more feral, and soothing ones. 

 

It took her a good half an hour and a few punched on the fence to calm down.

 

At least a little.

 

“You’re bleeding,” Lincoln said stern, grabbing her face to push a tissue on her split lip.

 

“It wasn’t my fault,” she hurried to say, “She was going to send me into a hospital bed if I didn’t react.”

 

“Anya was drunk,” the boy snarled.

 

“Not an excuse,” Clarke growled, “It’s not fair it is for her and not for me.”

 

“You’re not drunk, now.”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare to pin this on me,” the blonde snarled again, pushing him back a few steps, “You know what I mean! I won’t take the blame for this!”

 

Lincoln stepped in her personal space, grabbing her bruised jaw tightly, backing her on the fence, sending searing pain through the synapsis of her brain.

 

A grunt, or a growl was all that left her lips in a proud attempt at saving her ego.

 

She would not give him the satisfaction of howling out in pain.

 

“Not for this, but I know what you did to her and you will take the blame for that!” he snarled again, lips curling over white fangs, “You are a disease, Clarke. This is only but a symptom of what you’re capable of. I have seen Costia try to crush her spirit with her subterfuges of a needy alpha begging to submit a powerful omega like her. For as much as Costia schemed to make her stay, she had never dared to touch her like you did.”

 

Clarke only growled more, rendered silent by his hand, curling her fingers in the cotton of his t-shirt in an attempt of pushing him away from her.

 

“I hope she realizes what a waste of space you are before you break her.”

 

The blonde alpha finally managed to push him back. “You know nothing about me!” Clarke growled through gritted teeth, “About us!”

 

“I don’t need to when I see the bruises.”

 

“I owe you nothing! This is about me and her!”

 

“You promised me you’d never do something like that! Yet here we are. You keep breaking promise after promise. The only reason you’re still around is, because she won’t let me take care of you,” he said almost defeated. “If you’d be a better alpha, you would have left a long time ago,” he sighed, turning around to leave the young girl alone.

 

* * *

 

Clarke left the party right away.

 

But instead of going back at Lexa’s, she went at her mother’s.

 

She didn’t want to be around her mate, not after what Lincoln told her.

 

She was meant to sleep at Monty’s that night so she could spend some time alone, at least until the next day.

 

Abby was working and Clarke let her know she was there and her mother said it was unlikely that she’d come back home before Monday and that she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted.

 

She threw the phone on the kitchen counter and went upstairs to get a warm shower.

 

She was glad to have something to do before the thinking.

 

Right now, she wished she could talk to Luna, but until the rut was over, it wasn’t possible.

 

She was stuck in her own head.

 

_If you were a better alpha you would have left a long time ago._

 

Lincoln’s words were carved in her head and she kept replaying his words over and over again.

 

He was right after all.

 

Clarke could only bring destruction in Lexa’s life.

 

The worst part was that she could do much worse than simply send her to jail.

 

_What if I can’t change?_

 

Maybe she should leave. Maybe she could come back years later when she was better.

 

The thought made her laugh.

 

Who was she kidding?

 

Lexa was never going to let her in again, if she did something like this.

 

She wondered if struggling so much was helping her case.

 

It was like she was an elephant in a crystal cage. Every time she moved, she made something precious drop.

 

The crystal cage was Lexa’s life.

 

She went to look for her mother’s booze.

 

Well she was alone with no risk of injuring others. She deserved a drink.

 

That was when the sound of the ring bell reverberated through the house.

 

Clarke thought it was some freak, because it was already three in the morning, and let it slide, before it started to be persistent like someone was holding down the button.

 

Well, the guy had chosen the wrong house.

 

Clarke made her way to the gate with a baseball bat. Ready to scare the shit out of the idiot on her doorstep, only to find Octavia, Wells, Bellamy, and Lincoln.

 

“Jesus Christ, Clarke finally!” the shorter brunette exclaimed.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked, glaring at Lincoln, without sparing a glance to the other there.

 

“Wells told us everything,” it was Bellamy this time that spoke. 

 

Then she glared at Wells, and only Wells.

 

“I told you not to tell anyone about this!” she seethed.

 

The boy had the decency to blush at least. “I, uhm, after what Lincoln said, I couldn’t let them think you were like that, it wasn’t fair for you to suffer through it all, without defending yourself,” he said as he licked his lips and for effect, he looked at his feet before returning his gaze to her, “I know you’d bear it, because you think you deserve it, but I know that a monster like the one you think you are, wouldn’t suffer like you do, Clarke.”

 

Clarke looked in Wells’ eye moved by the affection her friend had for her, even if she wasn’t worthy of it for quite some time. The blonde had never been happier to be her friend.

 

“Are you crying?” Octavia asked out of the blue.

 

“No,” Bellamy said, trying to hide his face behind his big paws, “I just… I think I’ve got something in my eye.”

 

“You’re such a pussy, Bell,” Octavia snorted, while the others were giggling at the boy’s expense,  “Come on, Griff open the fucking gate and let us in!” The girl then fixed her gaze on her. “Chop, chop. I ain’t got the whole night.”

 

* * *

 

The group had finally settled on the couch.

 

Octavia, being an over-apprehensive mama bear, made Lincoln call Lexa to know if Clarke went back there and Jasper and Monty stayed at house with Raven, who was half taking care of Anya and half making fun of her.

 

Clarke had to call her omega to make sure she didn’t go on some sort of crazy mission to find her, earning quite earful.

 

_Thank you Octavia!_

 

While Bellamy and Wells were looking for food and booze in the kitchen, she, Lincoln, and Octavia were sitting in an uncomfortable silence.

 

“Say it,” Octavia whispered, elbowing Lincoln in the ribs.

 

“I don’t want to,” he grumbled back.

 

“You promised, Linc!”

 

“Fine,” he sighed, “Uh, Clarke, I’m sorry for what I said at the party. I didn’t know the whole story. I mean I still think most of it, but I guess you trying to get better is something that tones it down a little. I don’t know. I still don’t trust you alone with her, but she doesn’t listen to anyone, so there’s little I can do.”

 

“It’s ok. You’re right to do that,” Clarke said, torturing her lower lip. There was something he said that had been bugging her the entire night more than other things. “What did you mean when you talked about Costia?”

 

“You don’t know?” he said as he tilted his head to the side.

 

“She only told me she died. We haven’t talked about her. I mean, she gets sad when we breach the topic and I get weird.”

 

He only narrowed his eyes at her, prompting her to explain herself.

 

“Uhm, I don’t like to think of her with others. I hate it. I hate to know that someone has touched her before me,” she said, blushing furiously.

 

“What is wrong with you?” Octavia said, looking at her like she came from outer space.

 

“It’s an alpha thing, babe,” Lincoln said calmly “Just like when I got pissed off, when I knew Clarke was your first.”

 

“You told him?” the blonde asked, bewildered.

 

“We were talking about exes!” Octavia said quickly to defend herself, “You were the only one before him. I thought it was fair!”

 

“Oh my God,” the alpha girl huffed in her hands.

 

“Anyway, as long as this one,” Lincoln said as he gestured at Clarke, “stays away from you, we don’t have to talk about it, ever again. For the Costia thing, you should ask her.” He sighed before continuing, “I think she wouldn’t want me to tell you. Costia was a big part of her life and I might be biased on the topic. Don’t get me wrong, she was an amazing alpha. She always tried to do what was right, but she was vulnerable as well, especially when it came down to Lexa. I thought she was afraid of losing her and in the end, that was what has driven them apart.”

 

“She never told me any of this.”

 

“Just talk to her, ok? Maybe you’ll understand more about Lexa’s behavior like this, I mean, why she acts like that.”

 

“I will,” Clarke said with a nod. “It’s just that sometimes, she..,” the alpha said as she licked her lips before continuing, “She gets so cold. I don’t understand why, she just shuts me out.”

 

“That’s how she is,” Lincoln sighed. “She doesn’t want anyone to take on her burdens, Clarke. She thinks she has to keep them to herself and just carries the weight of everything on her own. It’s hard for anyone to get close to her. You know it’s kind of weird,” he chuckled bitterly, “how she helps everybody else, but doesn’t let anybody help her in return. I mean, I’ve never thought she’d let you get close to her, actually.”

 

“It’s not like she made it easy,” the blonde said with a shrug, “I’ve been begging her for months. It’s been only two months so far and I’ve been staying with her for almost ten.”

 

“I thought it started sooner,” Octavia confessed surprised.

 

Clarke shook her head. “The first time was when I bit her.”

 

“Let’s just not get into it,” Lincoln said, cringing.

 

“How is she like? I mean, I only ever saw her in class and me and Linc never talk about her, because we fight if we do.” 

 

“She’s a dork,” Clarke said with a goofy smile, “She gets all excited when she talks about authors she likes, she moves her hands so much, and she writes down what she likes in her books. They’re full of notes and sometimes when something makes her laugh, she underlines the sentence and write stuff like “It’s hilarious!” near it. I always make fun of her for it.”

 

“I do that too,” Lincoln said with a large grin, “Did you read what she wrote in the last page of Dorian Grey?” 

 

“Oh my God, I’ve laughed my ass off when I read it! She even drew horns, mustaches, and a pointy tail on Oscar Wilde’s pictures and wrote wanker near it.”

 

“Yeah, it’s just too much fun to tease her about that book. She could go on for hours saying how much of a waste of time it was!”

 

“I love it when she points at the book and starts to ask me “Why? Why Clarke? Can you explain it to me? The movie was better than the book! It never happens, and yet it is! Can you explain this, Clarke can you?”  

 

“It’s just so much fun. Did you know she owns a copy of Twilight?”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clarke asked, bewildered “Where is it?”

 

“I think she hid it after Anya started to read it to her out loud!”

 

“Oh, my, God, I have to find it!”

 

“I liked Twilight,” Octavia grumbled.

 

“Yeah, but can you imagine what Lexa could have written on that book? It’d be like discovering the Holy Grail of the teasing!” Clarke laughed as she grinned, “I’d get material for a life time!”

 

“It’s not like you don’t have already enough,” Lincoln snickered “I’m pretty sure, you know how she gets when she loses her glasses.”  

 

“She looks so cute, when she goes around the house looking for them.”

 

“I’d say she’s hilarious, but it’s kind of cute. I think the best part is when she gives up and then tries to ask you to find them for her.”

 

“She tries to look nonchalant while asking, like she hasn’t spent the last hour looking for them and has now given up at searching, because I’m just done offering her my help and she had refused a hundred time and doesn’t want to admit she has been defeated by an inanimate object.”  

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever look at her the same way,” Octavia said smiling, looking fondly at Lincoln and Clarke talking about someone they both loved in different measure and kind, “But I wanted to know how she is with you.”

 

“She takes care of me all of the time and knows if something’s wrong right away. You know she’s a very empathic person and always knows how I feel and how to make me feel better,” Clarke said as she had to think for a second about what she was going to add, hoping it wouldn’t sound as cheesy as it did in her head, “It’s like we gravitate in the same orbit and know how to move around each other like some sort of natural force guiding us, making us good for the other.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Lincoln said, smiling kindly at her, while Octavia was fake gagging near him.

 

“You’re an ass,” Clarke told her friend.

 

“And you’re such an agglomerate of mushy feeling, rainbows, and unicorns.”

 

“What you just said makes no sense.”  

 

“Your face makes no sense.”  

 

“Just nod along and hope she’ll stop,” Lincoln suggested sighing, earning a grin from Clarke.

 

“You know, Clarke, I’m sorry too, for what I’ve said about her. I really thought she was another Finn, but I guess I was wrong.”

 

“It’s ok, O. I know you only wanted to protect me.”

 

“Who’s Finn?” Lincoln asked, wanting to be a part of the conversation.

 

“My ex” Clarke grimaced.

 

“And?” Lincoln prompted, “We’re already in confession mode, so you could just as well spill.”

 

“He was an asshole. He was dating me and Raven a few years back. While Rae was out of town for some space program, he started to date me, well, it was more like we moved in together,” Clarke said, sighing, “I mean at first it wasn’t bad. I needed a place to stay and he was charming and sweet. He had all of this free spirited ideas, like men, women, alpha, beta and omegas were all the same and we should respect each other and Mother Nature-”

 

“He’s a fucking hipster, with a shitty barista job in a hipster café, that doesn’t want to grow up, and most likely would start a cult for people to venerate him, like he thinks he deserves,” Octavia cut her off.

 

“You liked him too, when we met him,” Clarke said, glaring.

 

“Yeah, but I stopped liking him when he was putting all of his stupid ideas in your mind. “Stop hanging out with O. She’s childish. Bellamy is an idiot. Stop seeing him too. Drop out of school. It’s just an institution made of old people, trying to control your mind. Find a job and help me pay the bills and blah, blah, blah.” I swear to God, C, when I found out that he was cheating on you, it was the best day of my life! At least you saw what a wanker he was, and most likely still is!”

 

“It was kind of for the better,” Clarke said with a smile, “We met Raven and I’m much happier now. I don’t think he could have dealt with me, with all of this.”

 

“He couldn’t have. That’s for sure,” Octavia said.

 

“I only hope Lexa can,” the blonde sighed.

 

“I’m pretty sure she can, Clarke,” Lincoln said, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “And if she can’t, she’ll have backups pretty soon. We’ll take care of you”

 

“What?”

 

“Me and Anya are going to stay at Lexa’s for the summer. I thought you knew. I mean we’re like her pups. I thought it was obvious,” he said, shrugging.

 

“No. No. Nonononono. Nooooooo!!” was all the alpha said before the couple started to laugh at her.

 

Why did this kind of thing have to happen to her?

 

* * *

 

The next morning, the group parted their ways.

 

Lincoln promised to stay out of her way with Anya to give her time to talk with Lexa, so that she could ask about Costia.

 

When she came back home, she was attacked by Lexa.

 

The omega smelled her from head to toe like she used to do, when her mate was out for too long for her liking.

 

The shower had washed away Niylah scent, but she still need to tell her about what happen. She knew that Anya was a little shit and was going to do just that as soon as she could.

 

“Where have you been? What happened? Why didn’t your friends know where you were? What happened to your face?”

 

“Ok, just calm down, Lex,” she said as she smiled despite herself, “Let’s just sit down and I’ll explain everything to you, ok?”

 

“Ok.” Lexa nodded as they sat on each side of the couch.

 

Clarke ran her index finger on Lexa’s bite on the soft skin of the piece of furniture before talking. “First of all, I’m sorry for making you worry, ok? I didn’t mean to scare you or anybody else. I had a rough night and I just wanted to be alone for some time.”

 

“You could have just come back here and tell me what the problem was,” Lexa scowled.

 

“In a way you are.”

 

“Clarke…” Lexa let out a pained whisper of her name.

 

“No, wait, it came out wrong,” the alpha hurried to explain “I meant that I wanted to be alone to think about us, because of the things I did last night and the things Lincoln said.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Just promise me you won’t get mad. Please, Lex, promise.”

 

“I’ll decide as soon as you’re done. I want to know now.”

 

Clarke sighed and started, “Uhm, Niylah, she, uhm, she kind of kissed me last night. Before you kill me though, you should know that I pushed her back and…” Lexa was already seething with unshed anger. She gulped down, suddenly feeling her mouth very dry at her disdained look, that she knew was about to get worse. “And Anya punched me,” she said as Lexa gasped as her anger redirected to the other alpha, but still present for Clarke, “We fought and I might have broken her nose.”

 

“Clarke,” Lexa whined, almost defeated.

 

“I, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about and you can yell at me later, because Lincoln said things, things about you and Costia, that I think we should talk about.”   

 

“What did he say?” Lexa sighed, getting that wistful look on her beautiful features, she always had when they talked about her previous mate.

 

“He said that her fear of losing you was what drove the two of you apart. That Costia schemed to make you stay, but that she had never reached my levels…She had never put a finger on you,” Clarke drew in a shaky breath, “That if I’d be a better alpha I would leave.”

 

“That’s what you want?” Lexa asked with a perfectly stoic facade.

 

“That’s not what I said. I want to know what you think about it. I.. I want to know if you hate me so much that you want to be free of me. Because I’d never leave you, Lex, if you don’t want me to.”

 

“I don’t hate you, Clarke,” her omega said, crawling all the way through their distance, straddling the alpha and letting her weight pin the blonde to the couch, physically holding her there. “I have forgiven you,” she whispered on her lips, resting her forehead on hers.

 

“But I haven’t.”

 

“That’s why I have,” the omega said as she pecked her lips softly, “Because I know that you are a kind soul and I know you’d never do that again, because you’ll suffer the rest of your life for it. That’s why I want you to stay and I’m not afraid of you. I know it.”

 

“What if I lose control again?”

 

“I’m not some sort of frail thing, Clarke,” Lexa said almost too harshly for the atmosphere, “I know how to protect myself and if I’d want to, I know how to make any of my traces disappear. But I’m sure I won’t need to, because I trust you. All of me tells me to trust you and my instincts have never been wrong.”

 

“There’s always a first,” Clarke said grimly.

 

“There won’t be,” the omega said, ending their discussion with her lips on her own, with a tongue begging for entrance and ready to conquer her soul.

 

Lexa kissed her jaw and her hand travelled down the alpha’s belly to unbutton her pants and free her pride and stroke it with gentleness.

 

Clarke submitted to her willingly, arching her back and pushing her tummy upward, in the sweetest surrender Lexa demanded with her touches.

 

But her mind wasn’t fully committed to her body’s desires.

 

“Wait! Wait, Lex,” she breathed on her feverish lips, “I want to talk about her, too, Lex, about Costia.”

 

That made the omega bolt to the other side of the couch again, leaving her hard cock cold and begging for her warm hand and her boiling womb.

 

The alpha tucked it back in her pants, almost regretting her decision, but knowing it was for the best.

 

“I know you don’t want to talk about her,” the alpha said, brushing her hair out of her face with a shaking hand, trying to calm down her boiling spirits, “But, I need to know. I need to know what happened, Lex. You know everything important about me, yet I know nothing about your past mate, your marriage.”

 

“What do you need to know?” she asked with a shaking breath.

 

“Everything.”

 

Lexa sighed before she started her tale.

 

“We were college sweethearts...” she sighed again “We moved in together at our senior year. She knew that as soon as I was going to graduate, I wanted to join the army as a reporter on the front. She said she didn’t care and we got married after graduation was over, mated before I left for my first deployment.

 

“Costia didn’t think it would have been so hard. I was collecting news on a peacekeeping mission in Africa the first time I left. It was hard to send or receive letters there, and for six months everything she got from me was a total of seven half burned piece of papers. She tried to not let it show, but I knew she was dying inside, our distance, her disease. We stayed together for almost two months, and I thought we managed to salvage our marriage, but then she started to talk about pups and before I could give her an answer I was sent to Syria. I stayed there for only three months when a bomb exploded and my shoulder was stuck under a piece of cement that weighted hundreds of pounds. My arm was saved and in time, if I chose to, I could have gone back.”

 

She gulped and licked her dry lips before continuing. “I was sent back home only to find my house invaded by two angry alpha pups, Lincoln and Anya. Costia took them in without saying anything to me,” Lexa seethed and clenched her jaw.

 

 “She was trying to prove a point, I guess, and doing something good for them at the same time. She wanted me to understand that she felt lonely. She showed me how being a mother felt. She wanted me to understand that I could help people, staying right next to her, that I could change the world from our couch,” Lexa laughed bitterly.

 

 “I feel in love with her all over again, watching her being such a good sire for Lincoln and Anya, and I fell in love with the two of them as well. I felt like they were mine. But then I healed and I was faced again with the choice of leaving my family, to accomplish my childhood dream of changing the world, one word at a time and what had truly become the most important thing in my life. I thought foolishly, I could have them both, that Costia would understand what I was trying to do, but I was wrong. One night, she presented me the divorce papers and told me that if I wanted to leave again, I should sign them,” Lexa sighed again, losing all the shining edge her anger gave to her eyes, leaving them dull and opaque.

 

“I’ve never signed the papers, but that night I knew our marriage was over. We started to hate each other. I hated her for the choice she put in front of me and she hated me, because her love wasn’t enough to make me give up my dreams. We lived in our love’s coffin until one day. A normal sadistic day as all the others. She took her keys and left for work, whispering a soft goodbye to which I didn’t answer to, like I hadn’t done for months, only to receive a call from the morgue before lunch time, telling me she was gone,” Lexa sobbed at that, crying her heart out, still trying to hold onto her pride and make the tears willing to stop, “I’ve never told her goodbye.”

 

The omega tried to swallow her own sobs, biting hard on her lip, drawing blood from it, hoping to stop her cry.

 

Her alpha only wrapped herself around her lover, whispering white lies in her ear, to ease her pain.

 

“I can’t let that happen to us, Clarke,” she managed to say between her sobs, “I don’t want to hate you. That’s why I can’t give you myself completely. That’s why I can’t submit to you.”

 

“It’s ok, Lexa,” the blonde alpha said, kissing the crown of her head, “It won’t happen. We’ll never hate each other.”

 

She kept telling her lover that and at the same time, she was telling it to herself.       


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Incoming! Smut! 
> 
> Also Author's note at the end so please read and leave comments for our lovely WeAllGotLeftBehind ~BadBeta

After their talk, Lexa explained to her the reason why she was so loyal to Dante.

 

After Costia was dead, she was torn between leaving again as soon as Anya and Lincoln would turn 18 or staying to be with them. The man was the only one that took interest in her and helped her find a new purpose to stay for the two alphas.

 

He always said that what Lexa was trying to do was something amazing and right, but what if people didn’t care?

 

Because even when they had the all of the information, they never took action for those injustice. He always thought that they could change it. They could change all of this indifference and egoism born in the western side of the world, and they could do it, starting with the pups, helping to forge the next generation to be a brave and gentle one, and always found what Costia did, taking Lincoln and Anya in, as something worth only praises and to be taken as example.

 

He always put it like that, what if you scream for help, but no one is there to help you?

 

Because Lexa was screaming for the voices that she so desperately wanted to help, but not enough people were there to listen.

 

That’s how she found new purpose. That’s why she took Clarke in and helped Murphy escape his father’s legacy and was always there for her students and every other people around her.

 

She stopped screaming for a hero and she became one, hoping that her gentle action could help someone else and maybe bring out the best in people.

 

That’s why Lexa was so loyal to Dante. That’s why Lexa couldn’t just throw his son under the bus. That’s why now she had a confession to make.

 

“I took care of Cage,” Lexa exhaled, rubbing her hands over her puffy eyes.

 

“What do you mean? What did you do?” Clarke asked, both anxious and angered. After everything that happened, Clarke didn’t think Lexa would still go against her wishes. She thought that all of the time spent apart was just because she needed time to think.

 

“We’re not in the Middle Ages, Clarke. I have the right to do what I want.”

 

“It doesn’t make it right! I asked you to do something and you ignored me, Lexa! You wouldn’t be so pleased if I’d do the same thing to you.”

 

“I know and I’m sorry, Clarke,” the omega sighed “I have my issues and I know… you’re not Costia, but I… I couldn’t help it. I don’t want to hate you, Clarke. If I do as you wish, if you force me to do as you say, I will hate you and I don’t want to.”

 

“So what? We’re stuck in the same circles, again and again, Lexa? We can’t go on like this. And you can’t sneak around to do whatever you want. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you.”

 

“We’re at en passé.”

 

“We don’t have to be,” the blonde said, shaking her head, “You can just take a step toward me. If I had known all of this before, I would’ve been different. Maybe things would have been different.”

 

“We don’t know that.”

 

“No, we don’t, but I can’t be the only one changing to be better here. I won’t be your door mat forever, Lex. I need you to listen to me sometimes. Just take into consideration my opinion instead of disregarding it completely. I’m not asking for the moon.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa sighed again, running a hand through her hair, feeling frustrated, “I’ve been asking you so much for this relationship, forgetting to give in return. Maybe we can start over…I can be better. We can be better.”

 

“I’d like that,” Clarke said. nuzzling her nose in her cheek, before kissing her gland, “Now, tell me how did you take care of Cage?”

 

“I‘ve just stalked him. I followed him around after school, until he went back home and took pictures of him every time. He seemed to be talking to sketchy people. I stayed in my car the entire time.”

 

“I still think you shouldn’t have done it. What if you got caught?”

 

“I didn’t. It’s stupid to dwell on the if’s. We’d just be getting in a useless argument. I didn’t get caught and I’m fine,” Lexa said as she did her best to avoid the conversation all together, “Anyway, as soon as I had the pictures of him buying drugs, I stopped. I took them to Dante…At first he didn’t want to believe me, he thought his son was a much better person, but in the end, he sent him in rehab. He should come back next year.”

 

“Does Cage know you’re the one that sold him out?”

 

“I don’t think Dante told him. Even if he did, I’m not afraid of someone as Cage Wallace. I can take him down anytime I want with the pictures I have. Not to mention that, thanks to Anya and her internships at the police district, I know the right people to get him into trouble even after he’s clean.”

 

“Is it weird for me to still be mad and kinda scared of your master mind but mostly turned on by what you’ve just said?”

 

“What can I say I’m an overachiever,” she said laughing, while Clarke was sneaking a hand under her t-shirt and kissing her neck.

 

“You are, indeed,” the alpha breathed in her neck, ready to take the omega’s t-shirt off.

 

“I’m sorry Clarke,” Lexa whispered as she stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, “I know you’re getting closer to your rut and you need to do it, but I’m not really in the mood tonight.”

 

“That’s ok, Lex. We can just cuddle if you want and I don’t need it. I’m not at that point. I mean I want to, but I can control myself. It’s not like I won’t be able to control myself when in rut, I’m sure I can. I could go through it without sex. I mean I could, but it doesn’t mean I have to.”

 

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered softly and smiled, stopping her rambling, wounding a hand in her hair while Clarke was uttering a “Thank you” for being saved from her own self.

 

“You won’t be able to control, but don’t worry. I’ll enjoy every second of the rough sex we’ll be having. Now stop and let’s get back to bed.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke was getting restless.

 

Her rut was now affecting her own body as well.

 

At first, she thought she could handle it, but now, it was like she was on fire.

 

She was constantly sweating. Every touch on her body ignited a reaction she could barely understand.

 

She didn’t know with which logic she was reacting but it was confusing, to say the least.

 

God, she was so ashamed of herself when she moaned after Harper had brushed one hand up and down her arm. Her manager told her to go home.

 

She was also bad for business, making the whole cafe stink with her pheromones.

 

Clarke would never admit it, but when Harper excused her for a few days, she might have shed a tear of relief.

 

The unfortunate part was that Harper saw and she was now bound to be the girl that cried at work.

 

Assholes.

 

Her trip home wasn’t an easy one.

 

The bus was full of people, different pheromones and smells coming from the outside.

 

She was pretty sure her cock had made her presence known on an omega’s thigh, while the bus had an abrupt stop, because of a car driver idiocy.

 

The worst part was that the omega only bit her bottom lip, as Clarke was apologizing, almost as if she was thinking if it was a good idea, getting in a partly private place to fuck.

 

It’s not like Clarke is one of those cocky alpha that believed every omega wanted to be mounted by her. It was just... it looked just like that to her.

 

Maybe it was her rut talking, but she knew she could end up doing something she’ll regret for the rest of her life with this unknown omega, so she leapt off the bus at the next random stop and looked as the vehicle kept its run.

 

She was sure that the omega she bumped against earlier was giving her a disappointed look.

 

Clarke shook her head forcefully, trying to physically get rid of the haziness clouding her head, realizing she got off the bus three stops earlier and started her trek toward the house.

 

* * *

 

Clarke was a stinking mess of sweat and pheromones when she got home.

 

She took off all of her clothes that were dripping because of how much sweat she expelled through her skin and put them in the laundry basket.

 

She turned on the water on ice cold and got herself in the shower.

 

The water did almost nothing to alleviate her burning body, or her angry hard on.

 

So she took matters in her own hands, quite literally and jerked herself off in the shower.

 

Her length was a little sore, and harder than usual, but after a few gentle strokes and her cum already leaking from the head. She felt her member shiver in pleasure.

 

Clarke could barely believe it but it only took her a few minutes before spilling her cum down the drain.

 

She didn’t even need to picture Lexa or anything else. She just needed a few good strokes and she was done.

 

* * *

 

Clarke didn’t waste any time drying her hair. Instead she grabbed Lexa’s panties and crushed on the bed, completely naked, smelling the piece of clothing she was holding in her hand.

 

It didn’t take her much longer before her cock was hard again and she was jerking herself off, cumming into Lexa’s panties.

 

She didn’t know how, but she managed to fall asleep when she was done, probably lulled by the brunette’s smell, because even if her mind only wanted to rest, her body was exploding with energy that needed to be released as soon as possible, in only one way.

 

After her rut, she had no idea of how to explain the mess to her omega.

 

* * *

 

Her slumber wasn’t an easy one, filled with filthy dreams and sinful moans.

 

She turned around in bed every now and then woken, by God knows what, but not lucid enough to wake up completely, so she only searched for a cool spot on the mattress to plop on and slept some more.

 

* * *

 

“Clarke…” she heard a faraway voice call her and a hand caress her cheek. “Clarke,” she called again.

 

She didn’t need to open her eyes, to know who it was.

 

“Lexa,” she rasped, moving her hips upward into the air, finding nothing to purchase any friction from her lover. “Lexa,” she almost growled this time.

 

“You’re in rut...” the omega said in awe.

 

“Lexa,” this time the alpha whined pitifully, “Help me.”

 

“Yes, my love,” the teacher agreed, gently pecking her lips, while her nails were scratching the skin of her belly, until they reached her red angry cock and her fingers curled around it.

 

Clarke let out another whine, this time along with a long wail of pain.

 

Her cock was stiff and sore. Her head leaking the cum that she could no longer hold inside.

 

It felt like the peak of a vulcan ready to explode, but the mouth too little to let out the entirety of her fire.

 

It was almost as if something was exploding inside of her, inside of her cock, her knot, trying to tear her most intimate parts open.

 

And when Lexa touched her, it did nothing to help her.

 

It had only hurt her, hot white pain, flashed through her, while the soft hand was closing around her length, making more seed leak away from her and her balls rot in this inferno.

 

She knew she needed to cum and her hand was wrong. It was so wrong.

 

It was too rough for her delicate skin.

 

She needed her womb, her soft, wet, velvety womb, gentle and so very right.

 

That’s what she needed. She needed to be inside of her, to have her walls coax her cum.

 

So she pinned Lexa to the bed, ripped apart her pants and panties. She could no longer understand how buttons worked, so she just pulled the fabric and sneaked her strong body, between her legs, aligning her cock to her entrance, taking her omega like she should, taking her as the alpha.

 

“Clarke,” the brunette whined, completely submitted under her, with her glistering pussy tilted upward to facilitate the alpha’s entry and her neck showed like Clarke’s pheromones demanded.

 

The alpha knew this was right, even when she only pressed slightly the head of her cock on her folds and hurt like a bitch. She knew it was right.

 

She knew it was right. Everything in her was telling her it was right, and it was, it was so fucking right.

 

She aligned her cock with one hand, a little sloppily, shaking because of her excitement and pushed in like the beast her rut had reduced her to, hearing both her whine and Lexa’s but she couldn’t stop, she needed to fuck her.

 

Even if it hurt her, even if it hurt Lexa.

 

Because she couldn’t understand anything other than how good it felt to have those velvety walls try to not dilate around her cock, trying to hold their ground against the huge intruder but failing miserably.

 

The thought of being stronger, better, bigger, faster and the dominant made her cum on the spot.

 

She would have been embarrassed if she weren’t in rut, three strong thrusts and she was done, with a breathy moan of her name on her lips and her eyes tightly shut.

 

She was so thankful that she hadn’t had time to knot her or they’d be done for the evening as well. She was pretty sure that with how sensitive her cock was she’s be cumming without much movements at all, and Lexa would remain unsatisfied.

 

She was also thankful that cumming didn’t meant getting soft in rut, so after she was done riding her aftershocks with Lexa coaxing her to rush her lazy pace, with her hands firmly planted on her ass, she prepared herself to fuck her harder.

 

The first thing she did was pull out, while Lexa cried out for the loss, completely ignored by the alpha that was busy gathering a pillow to put under the omega’s ass and grieving from the waste of her cum that was spilling out the omega’s pussy.

 

The omega unruly as always, tried to move away from the position the alpha had put her in, to do god knows what and that didn’t sit well with her rutting mind.

 

She grabbed both of her wrists, pushing her back on the bed, while she held them close to her chest, growling menacingly. “If you dare to fucking move again, I’ll knot in one thrust.”

 

She should have expected for her omega to just spread her legs wide open, as an invitation to go through with her threat, daring to look at her straight in the eyes.

 

With her actions, the brunette earned herself a warning snarl and a tidal wave of pheromones, until she finally lowered her eyes.

 

Yet, she kept her legs spread open, daring to push upwards, trying to gain some sort of pleasure from the blonde’s belly. It was something that the alpha had not conceded and no matter how much Clarke tried to reason with herself. It was still something that infuriated her endlessly, because the truth was that alphas in rut wanted their omegas fucking still like they put them.

 

They don’t want a squirming mess that keeps challenging them.

 

Clarke never understood why they’d want something like that, until she actually got into rut.

 

She found everything offending her patience wearing thin and Lexa, being the little shit she was, kept finding new ways of pissing her off.

 

Through her haze though she registered one thing, Lexa, that still wore the upper part of her outfit, and she was wearing a tie.

 

A fucking tie.

 

 _Brilliant,_ Clarke thought to herself with a faux British accent.

 

She pulled at the knot like a savage until the piece of cotton was free in her hands and growled with a twisted smirk on her face to her lover. “You fucking wanted this.” Lexa realized what was happening too late.

 

Clarke had already tied her hands together and before the omega could even let out a breath, the alpha dragged, literally dragged, her body to the head board to tied the other end of the cloth to it.

 

“Clarke…” she whined, trying to pull her hands free of the tie, but failing miserably.

 

“I’ve given you enough warnings and you didn’t listen,” the alpha growled, panting on her lips, as she was holding the brunette’s jaw in one hand. “Now, I guess, I’ll have to go through with what I promise,” she said as she smiled wickedly, “I guess, I’ll enjoy watching you walk funny for a week after tonight.”

 

Clarke had no intention to go through with her threat, even if the petty alpha in her wanted to make her lover suffer, only to prove a point.

 

 _See if she does it again, after you do it_. It growled in her head.

 

No matter how tempted Clarke was to teach Lexa a lesson, she disregarded it completely, but still teased her omega, that as soon as she heard the words coming out of her mouth, actually tried to close her legs instinctively, but the blonde was already in between them and only grinned wolfishly, while she grabbed her hips to keep her still and started to push her cock inside of her.

 

She saw Lexa’s muscled abs clench as she arched her back off the bed, pulling on the tie of her wrists.

 

Her pussy doing the same on her cock as a moan left both their lips.

 

When Clarke was safely sheathed inside her lover once again, filling her to the brim, but holding out the wider part of her cock, she said “I’ll give you one last chance. Apologize and submit and I’ll fuck you first.”

 

The omega stubbornly challenged her, once again, setting her jaw high and looking directly in her eyes.

 

Clarke growled again. “You want it,” she said, fisting the sheets in her palms, starting to grind her knot on her entrance, making it open wider against her as Lexa moaned and writhed under her, holding her ground.

 

She ground her cock a little faster, rotating her hips once more, before thrusting hard.

 

Her walls clenched heavenly on her pride as she cried out in both pleasure and pain as she arched her back once again.

 

“Stop! Stop!” she yelled. “I’m sorry, Clarke. I’m sorry,” she panted as she clenched her eyelids and turned her head to the side, finally submitting completely.

 

“Don’t you think, it’s a little too late?” the alpha asked, only to taunt her.

 

“No. I’ll submit, from now on. I promise,” she said, daring to suck a mark on the girl’s gland, “I’ll be good, and I’ll stop moving. I’ll do anything you say.” 

 

Clarke purred at that, loud and heavy, easing out of the omega only to return harder and faster again.

 

“It wasn’t so hard, was it?” she asked as she was moaning and thrashing against her restrains, picking up, the speed of each thrust and biting inside of her flesh, sucking her essence, until she was satisfied. 

 

Slamming her cock as hard as her muscles allowed as the brunette was howling her pleasure to the suffocating air of the room, Clarke ripped the buttons of her shirt and took a fistful of her boobs, hard, squeezing with all the care she could give during her rut as the woman trashed once more against the tie and almost went rigid, as her orgasm approached, faster than any of them anticipated.

 

Clarke sucked one nipple in her mouth and that was all it took to make Lexa orgasm, as Clarke bit her gland and finally knotted her.

 

Hard and short lived thrusts were what Lexa earned, howling once again her lover’s name, as the most powerful orgasm of Clarke’s life ripped through her, making her almost sob in her release, giving to her omega all of her seed, not stopping her loins for one second, stronger than ever as Lexa panted and she rode what could be possibly be described little orgasms inside her womb, gently stroking her lover’s hair.

 

“Were you going to do it?” Lexa asked out of the blue, while Clarke was cumming all over again inside of her.

 

It took her a few seconds and a few more moans, before gaining back the skill of speaking. “What?”

 

“Knot me without fucking me first.”

 

“Uhm?” she asked, blinking, almost forgetting what had happened before, in the middle of all the pleasure. “No, baby. I was just teasing,” she said, thrusting once more, gently this time, to get her point across. “I’d never do that, unless you’d ask me to. You know it,” she said, feeling more seed leak out of her, incapable of keeping her eyes open.

 

“Don’t joke about it ever again,” the omega said threateningly as she bit on her gland and crossed her legs around her waist, crushing their cores together, as the alpha thrusted helplessly into her.

 

“I won’t. I’m sorry,” Clarke whined a little pained, but mostly pleasured, hoping for the omega to finish what she started with her tireless hips, “I’m sorry.” 

 

“Good,” Lexa groaned as Clarke was rotating her hips, in the little space she had to maneuver their ties bodies, only to go rigid again and thrusting with no rhythm through another orgasm as Lexa was moaning her name once again, until after hours of being tied together, the alpha finally found rest on her lover’s chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTE, please read it!
> 
>    
> Hey guys, sorry for the delay, again, but I’m out of inspiration and written chapters. That’s why I wanted to ask you, how you think I should proceed with the updates!
> 
>  
> 
> Update once every month (starting on the 1st of July) until I have a few chapters ready and then I’ll update once every two weeks (to be sure of having always one chap ready).
> 
> Stop to update until I have everything written and then post the chapters once a week again.
> 
> Update every time I have something ready (this means you might have to wait for a chap for two months or, if you’re lucky one every day, but I don’t think the second option might happen anytime soon.)  
>  
> 
> So if you’d like to let me know which option suits you better and as usual, I’d like to know what you think about the chap if you feel like sharing! :)   


	28. Chapter 28

She didn’t know how or when, but she had managed to turn Lexa around, on all four. Well at least on her knees, as the woman was still tied to the bed.

 

She could see her arms straining, sustaining both her weight and the alpha’s, as Clarke was rutting into her with no retain, or shame.

 

Clarke’s rational side had died the night before. Her instincts had took over completely and she was proud having bent such a strong omega to her desires, to her every whim.

 

Every harsh sound of her skin slapping Lexa’s in the midst of their fucking was a victory for her and the moans, the whimpers, and the weary noises that escaped her lips were a prize for the alpha.

 

Because the truth about rut was one and only one.

 

It wasn’t any of the bullshit the kids have been taught. It wasn’t a special moment between partners, or any other romanticized lie.

 

It was all about dominance.

 

Having complete control on the omega, to do everything you wished with her, to use her for your own pleasure, that was rut.

 

And Clarke couldn’t believe the harshness of it all. She couldn’t believe having kept Lexa tied to the bed for almost two days, fucking her like a rabid dog, as the woman enjoyed it.

 

Because Lexa was enjoying it all and that was what left her all the more flabbergast by the entire experience.

 

She enjoyed being knotted repeatedly for days and she loved the harshness Clarke’s was showing to her, and teased it out of the pup, biting, licking and spurring her on with her dirty mouth, as the alpha kept a savage pace with her hips, almost punishing her insubordinate lover, that only seemed more and more amused by the reaction she aroused in the alpha, that every time knotted her with fervor as Lexa disobeyed her orders, spoken or silent, enjoying the punishment, as Clarke forgot the reason she was angered, taking her omega fully, biting her again, trashing inside of her, owning her entire body and being as her seed was safely secured in the woman’s belly.

 

Nothing of Lexa seemed to belong to the omega anymore. She was conquered, having submitted in the midst of passion in the most testing, yet sweetest way Clarke had ever seen, enjoying how the alpha took what she offered willingly to satiate her hunger for control.

 

It was in those moments that Clarke came back from the recess of her mind, when her animal was satisfied and her body was exhausted, begging to rest. It was in moments like this that maybe her love for Lexa was showed, even with smallest of gestures.

  

Because if it was any other omega, Clarke would have simply slept on their back, indifferent for their comfort, but with Lexa and her pitiful whines, she couldn’t.

 

She felt the need to care and reward the omega that led her through the mist in her mind, that gifted her with her body and soul, freeing her of the animal she desperately loathed, unbinding her wrists and collapsing with an huff on the brunette’s back as her rut was finally over.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke woke up for real after the three days of her rut, with a clear head and a stinging smell in her nostril, as Lexa was coming back to bed.

 

She stretched and opened her eyes, making them land on the brunette’s form and what she did to her beautiful body.

 

Marks of her fingertips showed blue on her hips and breasts, her neck a collage of dark bruises and blood.

 

Clarke was horrified, as Lexa unaware of her inner turmoil dropped a soft kiss on her lips and breathed a “Good morning” on them, before she settled herself between Clarke’s arms.

 

The omega pressed her face in the alpha’s neck, and Clarke, too shocked to function, wasn’t even emitting pheromones. She was just trying to not touch Lexa.

 

A hard task considering that the woman was pressed to her, front to front, sucking a mark on her neck and purring.

 

Clarke was vaguely aware of Lexa’s fingertips dancing on her dimples of venus, making her skin blaze with just a caress.

 

“Lex,” the alpha called, as the omega was entwining their legs, making their bodies almost merge, as if she couldn’t stand to be untied to her alpha.

 

“What?” she asked, deciding to start trailing the space from her neck to her shoulder with soft, yet teasing kisses.

 

“Lexa,” Clarke commanded with a stern voice, and the woman finally stopped her ministration to listen to her alpha.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, touching her neck gently, “I’ve never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

 

At that, Lexa only rolled her eyes. “Not this again,” she said under her breath, turning to face the ceiling instead of her lover, who was left confused, once again.

 

“Lex?” Clarke called softly, “I’m…”

 

“Don’t,” the brunette stopped her before she could apologize again, “I don’t even know why you’re apologizing.”

 

“Because I hurt you, Lexa!” Clarke said vehemently, gesturing to her bruises, as Lexa was once again rolling her eyes.

 

“It was your rut.”

 

“It’s not an excuse. I wasn’t thinking, and I’m sorry,” Clarke said earnestly.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes again, a little amused. “It isn’t but it is what it is. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I liked every second of it.”

 

“You really didn’t have a choice,” the blonde stated.

 

“That’s where you’re wrong. I could have just told you to spend it alone. I wasn’t some sort of unaware, naive creature you lured into your bed. It’s not the first rut I’ve been involved in and I hope it’s not the last,” Lexa said as she smirked wolfishly, before pecking her lips and wrapping her arms around Clarke, again. “And don’t think for one second that you’re the only one that’s made damages,” she whispered sultry on her skin, pressing her fingers on the higher portion of the alpha’s back, as Clarke hissed in pain.

 

“Shit,” she said, giving Lexa a cruel glare, pushing the woman away from her. “When did you give those to me?” she asked, standing up on her knees on the bed to look at herself in the mirror on the wall, realizing the scratches on her back weren’t the only post coitus injuries on her body.

 

Her neck was in similar conditions as Lexa’s, minus the blood, while her sternum was exactly in the same conditions of Lexa’s neck, because there Lexa had pierced the skin while biting.

 

“After you’ve untied me to let me go to the bathroom,” Lexa said calmly, wrapping herself around Clarke strong back, bringing one of her hands to caress the deepest bite on her front “I’ve only managed that before you tied me up again, because I couldn’t be still.”

 

Clarke gulped at that, remembering that as soon as she was done tying her omega again, she had pushed her knot inside her entrance looking for her glands to bite, but Lexa was faster and had already latched her teeth right above one of her breasts, breaking the skin, making impossible for the alpha to bite back. The only option left for the blonde was to keep rutting frantically inside of her lover. Clarke remembered it as one of the less satisfying orgasm she had these days, yet it was the hottest, and the alpha’s knot lasted longer than usual, almost an hour and half as they kept fucking the entire time.

 

“I didn’t even realize you were scratching me.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“So I didn’t hurt you?” the alpha asked, making their eyes meet in the mirror.  

 

“Nope,” the omega smiled and plopped back on her back, waiting for the alpha to nestle inside her outstretched arms.

 

Clarke threw herself on her mate, excited to be cuddled by Lexa who ran her hands in her hair.

 

“You should never be ashamed of your rut, Clarke,” the omega said gently, “Heats and ruts should never be limited by social beliefs of what’s wrong and what’s right. It’s the only times where we can release the animal we keep repressed inside of us, and I’d never want my partner to hold back and not let out the entirety of their instincts.”

 

“I’m pretty sure it shows, but I didn’t contain myself one bit, Lex. I’ve let out everything and I promise you. I’ll keep this attitude for the next rut too,” Clarke said as she smiled cheekily to her lover, propping her head on her head to look in the brunette’s eyes.

 

“Yeah, but I… I’m talking about whoever comes after me. If someone ever tries to make you do that, just dump them and find someone better.”

 

“I have no intention of finding anyone else,” Clarke said as serious as she could, letting her fingertips caress her lover’s stomach, “You know, Nyko said that Prime alphas are monogamous. I went to look into it, because I didn’t really understand what he meant and I found out that they only ever take one mate for the rest of their life. Just one, and they make a pack with them. What differentiate the Primes from the others wolves is that. When their partner dies, they don’t find someone new, because they were it for them. And you’re that for me, Lexa. You’re it. I won’t find anybody else after you, so I guess this conversation is useless.”

 

“Clarke…” the omega said, exasperated, “You’re young. You’ll find someone else in no time.”

 

“That’s why you’re holding back?” the blonde asked, tilting her head to the side, studying her lover, “That’s why you’ve never been one-hundred percent in? You can’t get over the age gap?”   


“It’s not about that,” Lexa sighed, “If I get caught, I’m facing six to eight years, Clarke. Even if you’d be willing to wait for me, I wouldn’t want you to. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

 

“I’d wait even more if it meant that I get to be with you, Lexa,” the girl said, leaning down to kiss her “And.. You could put the blame on me.. If we get caught, I’m still underage and with this Prime alpha thing, I’d just do some social work.”

 

“Don’t you even dare to think about it,” Lexa almost snarled, “I’d rather die than put you under the train to save myself.”

 

“It’d be the smartest choice,” the alpha said, pragmatic.

 

“I’ll never say you forced yourself on me. That’s the end of the story. If I get caught, I’ll just do my time,” Lexa said sternly.

 

“But-”

 

“Please, Clarke, just drop it. I’m begging you,” the omega pleaded to her alpha.

 

“Fine,” she sighed, “But I’d wait for you, even if it meant forever.”

 

“You’re sweet,” Lexa said with a soft smiled for her, caressing her cheek, as the alpha took her hand to kiss her palm and just hold it in hers.

 

“I know that you’re skeptical. Every time I talk about the fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that I love you like crazy, but I think that you’re the one for real,” Clarke said, earning a raised brow from Lexa and an amused smile, “I’ve always been drawn to you and now that I’ve bitten you, it’s even worse. You know since my rut got closer, a lot of omegas realized my existence and, you know, I didn’t even spare a look to them. It’s like they don’t exist now that I have you.”

 

Lexa looked earnestly in her eyes once again, caressing her cheek and turning on her side to look in the girl’s blue ones before saying, “You need to stop reading Nicholas Sparks’ books.”

 

Clarke erupted in laughter, shoving her lover a little, “I was proclaiming my undying love for you and you make fun of me, seriously?”

 

“It was just too cheesy, Clarke! I couldn’t take it anymore.”

 

“You’re just a cynic,” the alpha deadpanned.

 

“Please,” Lexa scoffed, “You’d be ten times worse if I’d say something like that.”

 

“No, I’d probably think you’ve been kidnapped by aliens, and I’d have to check every orifices in your body for probes,” the alpha said smirking, grabbing a handful of the omega’s ass, “And speaking of it, when are you going to let me explore a little more.”

 

“You can forget it,” Lexa said, pushing the blonde back a little, “Been there, tried that, and my answer is no.”

 

“But with the right person, it could be amazing. I’m sure you’d like it with me and we could start small.”

 

“I’m sorry Clarke, but I know what I like and that’s not part of that list,” Lexa sighed, blushing for what she mumbled next, “And you’re too big.”

 

“I am what?” the blonde asked, having heard perfectly, fishing for some compliments.

 

“You heard me,” Lexa grumbled, hiding her face in the crook of the alpha’s neck.

 

“Yeah, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

 

“Fine,” Lexa grumbled, straddling her lover’s thighs, “You’re too big for my back door.”

 

“Keep going. I don’t mind hearing you say things about my dick.”

 

“You’re the biggest cock I’ve ever taken,” the omega whispered on her lips.

 

“Am I?” the alpha asked, enraptured by the woman’s lips, following them as they inched backwards.

 

“Yeah,” the brunette assessed, “The biggest knot to have spread me open.”

 

Clarke could feel her cock twitch and blood rush to it, as Lexa scratched her belly toward her length and was grinding her core on her thigh.

 

“Keep going. What else do you like about it?”

 

“I like that it is thick. It’s big and fat, and it makes me stretch so much every time I take it,” the omega moaned, rolling her hips faster. “I always think I can’t take it, that you’re going to break me before you can push it all in, but then you do that thing with your hips…” Lexa said, licking her lips and playing with the hairs on Clarke’s pelvis, as the alpha was stroking her pride. “That thing when you just rotate them to gain more leverage and you push it in, in one motion… and I don’t even understand what the fuck is happening, because it feels so fucking good, until I can feel your knot trying to close me up, and it turns me on so fucking much, Clarke.. You have no idea...” the woman admitted, raising her own hips to take said cock inside of her glistering pussy, choking on a sob as Clarke did exactly what she had just described with her hips, and Lexa was shivering on top of her, around her, trying to calm herself down in front of the arrival of a premature climax.

 

“I missed being on top,” she exhaled, pulling herself up and then plopping down back again, with all of her weight on her enlarged knot.

 

“I missed it too,” the alpha confessed as she was arching her back, while her hips started to move in time with Lexa’s, and every time the brunette was coming down, Clarke pushed forward.

 

“It never lasts long enough...” the omega panted, already close to her orgasm. It was true they’ve never managed to last more than half an hour without knot, the both of them too sensitive to the other and both too impatient.

 

“Then take my knot,” the alpha ordered, surging forward, to grab a handful of her hair. “Take it, Lexa,” she ordered again, before she pulled her head to the side and sank her teeth in her flesh as Lexa was forcing the knot inside her entrance with as much brutality as Clarke used while in rut.

 

The omega whined in pleasure and a little in pain, trying to hold down her own treacherous hips that kept trying to take every ounce of pleasure out of their mating, even if it meant hurting in the wake of it, as Clarke let her omega thrash, until the noises were too much for her ears.

 

“Enough,” the alpha roared, containing her movements with a hand on her hips. “That’s why you’re not allowed to stay on top,” she growled, before she jerked her hips and Lexa was a quivering mess under her, “You need your alpha to give it to you right.”

 

“Please, Clarke…” she sobbed, “Just come inside of me, please. I need it.”

 

Lexa’s plea did the trick and Clarke couldn’t refuse her omega’s wishes anymore and poured everything she had left inside of her lover’s womb, for many, many long hours, until what was left of the sun disappeared behind the city buildings.

 

* * *

 

When the duo finally decided to exit the bedroom, they found out that somebody had visited the apartment while they were busy.

 

A note on the fridge left by Lincoln read “We smelled the air and left right away. We’re staying at the hotel, and btw Lex, you’re paying for it. Anya is pissed! Come by to set the bill when you’re done or I’m pretty sure you’ll never have your daughter’s love again! xoxo Lincoln.”

 

“Shit!” the omega said, throwing the note in the trash bin, “I completely forgot that they were coming in yesterday.”

 

“Oh come on baby, they understand. They’re two grown alphas,” Clarke said, pulling out of the fridge anything that could be described as edible without cooking.

 

“Have you met Anya?” Lexa sighed, “I’m pretty sure they’re lounging in some four stars hotel, right now, with a pool and sauna, just because they heard me having sex.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry Lex,” the alpha said, scratching the back of her head, “Maybe we can split the total, or something.”

 

“No need for that. Also I’m already sorry for what they’ll put you through after this.”

 

“Wait, wait wait! That’s their revenge. It’s not fair to give more than one sentence for one offence!”

 

“They’ll punish us separately. I’m pretty sure you’ll get the worst out of it, being the usurper.”

 

“The usurper?” Clarke asked, shaking her head, smirking for her girlfriend’s dorkiness, “Let’s be rational. They won’t be doing any of that. I mean they had ruts. They’ll understand what happened here was normal and natural.” 

 

Lexa’s only answer was a non-committal guttural sound, as she started to eat, not agreeing, yet not disagreeing with her mate. 

 

* * *

 

“It’s not fucking fair!” the alpha grumbled under her breath, as she was hitting the punching bag.

 

As soon as her rut ended, Lincoln asked what her condition brought with it and what her doctor had suggested her to do to contain her aggressiveness.

 

Well that was after he and Anya acted like two naive lambs and seemed to be perfectly fine with Clarke and Lexa, until Clarke and Lexa simultaneously left the apartment.

 

They lured the alpha and the omega out, with the false pretense of checking the gym Lincoln used to go to, currently Octavia’s and Bellamy’s, so that Clarke could start her own training.

 

Lexa opted for a personal trainer and a box class so far, obviously her mate had decided to pay all on her own, even if she was out of job. The alpha felt a little neutered by her, but decided to not express her feelings.

 

She knew Lexa would state that she was about to go to college and needed all of the money she had saved up. The brunette also knew that the blonde didn’t want to ask for money to her mother so she said “It’s an early gift for Christmas.” Even if it still was six months away.

 

And Clarke really didn’t want to talk about college at all.

 

Even if that was enough reason for the alpha to be distressed, when they all came back to the apartment they found something… missing.

 

Because Lexa’s bedroom door had been removed from its rightful place and was now laying uselessly in the storage room. 

 

And the only one capable to put it back in its place had refused to.

 

Clarke had simply grabbed a bunch of workout clothes and decided it would be a good to put at good use her membership, instead of using the other blonde as a punching bag.

 

She was going to have some hard months in front of her.

 

“What’s got you so grumpy?” Octavia asked, having just finished with the treadmill.

 

“Anya,” the alpha stated as if it explained everything.

 

“What did she do, this time?”

 

“Other than exist?” the blonde asked as if her mere existence annoyed her, “She decided to take down Lexa’s bedroom door to keep us from having sex.”

 

“Do it in the shower,” the brunette suggested, shrugging, “In the mornings, so she’s late for her internship.”

 

“You really think that Lexa will agree with that?” the blonde asked rhetorically. 

 

“You’re right,” the omega said, scratching the back of her head, “I’d help, but I know nothing about doors.”

 

“It’s ok. I’ll look on YouTube to see if I can find a video that explains how to put the door back in its place, as soon as my murdering wish for Anya will disappear.”

 

“That might take a while,” the brunette chuckled.

 

“Oh I know…” the alpha said, ready to keep hitting the punching bag in front of her.

 

“Let me hold it for you,” Octavia offered, as Clarke nodded.

 

The two kept training thinking of new ways to make Anya pay for the door.

 

If she wanted war, she was going to get it.

 

* * *

 

When Clarke returned home, she found out that Lexa had managed to secure the door back in place.

 

Well it was squeaky and didn’t seem very stable, but it worked.

 

Clarke swooped her up in her arms and turned around, making the brunette chuckle.

 

“You’re amazing!” she said to her mate, “I can’t believe you can even put doors back in place!”

 

“I’m a woman of many talents,” the omega said smiling cheekily.

 

“Why don’t you show me some more right now?” the alpha said, flirting poorly with her woman, but it did have the effect desired. She was sure Lexa loved her being a dork, as the omega pulled her down for an heated kiss.

 

“You know I’m still here, right?,” Lincoln said with his voice an octave higher than usual.

 

“Yes, I do,” Lexa said, glaring at him, “And don’t forget for second that I know you were part of this stupid plan.”

 

“It was all Anya, I swear!” the boy said, dumping all the blame on the other alpha.

 

“Don’t try to play smart with me. You won’t sugar coat your way out of this with your wit.”

 

“But-”

 

“I’m not listening anymore,” Lexa sing songed, leading the blonde inside her room as Clarke was flipping her middle finger up to the boy, with a shit eating grin on her lips.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad beta is bad....but its done now. Author's Note at the end!

Guilty.

 

That’s what Clarke felt and that was what Clarke was.

 

The entire summer she was, and now even if the season was changing, even if the leaves were dying, nothing could make the feeling drown in her heart.

 

On the contrary, it was intensifying.

 

The more time she let her lie, her omission, go on the worst she felt, causing her relationship to only worsen. Lexa couldn't be blamed for her mistakes, yet she knew the omega put the blame on herself.

 

She remembers every and each attempt from Lexa, at making her talk at bandaging what was left of it.

 

Somehow she always thought that Lexa was the one with a foot half out of the door, but with her own self-imposed distance, she was realizing that maybe it was her to be the one already gone. Maybe all of Lexa speeches happened because Clarke never gave her a sense of safety, of stability, not the kind she needed and no matter how much the alpha loved her, she was right. Even if all Clarke said about her love was true. Maybe Lexa was right. She was right at thinking she wouldn't be her last.

 

It wasn’t for a lack of love or emotions, that was what was made it even worse. It wasn’t because Clarke didn’t love her with all of her heart and didn’t want her bite. It was all because Clarke was a liar.

 

And she was stuck in her lie.

 

With every passing day, the Gilford program, the statue she was sculpting in her mother’s dependance was getting harder and harder to reveal, especially when she asked Lexa to give up some important opportunities for her shattered career, something Clarke thought was another thing to add to her long list of faults.

 

Because Lexa was planning their future together, her future intertwined with hers, dependant from the one Clarke was choosing for herself and Lexa didn't know she was thinking about leaving the state and everything they knew to chase after her dream, and how could she ask Lexa to give up everything and spend the few savings she has left only to follow Clarke into a journey through Europe, where truly Lexa has no one and probably no income.

 

How could she do that?

 

How the hell did she managed to do it?

 

She remember how happy Lexa was to give her the news, when they were in New York, for their first real date, for the Magritte exhibit, for the gift Lexa had so carefully purchased for her.

 

“I have great news!” The teacher said giddy, almost dancing in her seat, with a glass of wine in her hand, gesturing for Clarke’s water with her chin.

 

“Can’t make a toast without alcohol, babe,” The alpha said smugly and Lexa simply rolled her eyes.

 

Clarke had chosen for that weekend to put everything aside to just enjoy Lexa as much as she could, to make it a milestone of their relationship, to make Lexa happy. Maybe it was a selfish move to pretend everything was okay. Maybe it was a selfless move to let Lexa enjoy their trip to see their relationship bloom after all of the hard work she’s put in.

 

She knew Lexa had already sensed the distance, that there was something bothering Clarke back home and had given Clarke time, without pushing for answers, but she's been more careful around her, as if she was walking on eggshells barefoot in her own home. She’s been everything Clarke could ever hope for in a mate. That is why she chose to pretend everything was fine once they've landed in New York. That is why she was acting like the best version of herself.

 

“You’re such a little shit sometimes,” Lexa said with a huff and Clarke grinned cheekily. “Anyway, I think I’ve found a new job. It pays good and it’ll give me the chance to be near you while you’re in college as long as you stay away from my classes,” Lexa said with a wink.

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked as her nervousness was arising.

 

“Well, me and Dante tried to repair our friendship in spite of Cage and he had actually recommended me for the English literature course at Polis University!” She said with the brightest smile Clarke’s ever seen on her, “And they called, Clarke. It’s crazy but they called and I have it. They said the position was mine. I’m in!” 

 

Clarke’s ear were buzzing. Her vision actually became blurry as her throat dried instantly. She could hear much more than Dante and Polis. “You’re friends with Dante again?” She asked, gripping the table with as much strength she could muster to ground herself.

 

“Yeah, what’s wrong, baby?”

 

“You can’t.”

 

“Clarke, you need to calm down,” Her omega said with glacial eyes and even colder tone, “You’re attracting attention. Your pheromones... You need to take a deep breath and calm down.”

 

“You can’t.”

 

“Clarke, please, if we make a scene here, things could go very badly for me. We’re in a public place and even if we’re in a different city. It doesn't mean I won't go to jail.”

 

“Please, Clarke, do it for me,” Her green eyes begged her, and Clarke truly wanted to do nothing more than to stop her idiotic hormones to just destroy the night but she couldn't. She did the only thing that always worked, a trick to her mind and body.

 

“Say you won’t. Even if it's just a lie, Lex, say it. Just make me believe it.”

 

Lexa and her had come up with this plan just to escape fights on the short term, but Clarke knew she wasn't safe for the long run.

 

They both knew, but they could only patch the present, the future they’d take it once it wasn’t anymore.

 

“I won’t, I promise. You mean more to me than he. I don’t need anybody else other than you, Clarke. He means nothing to me and from now on, I won’t see him or talk to him again.”

 

“You won’t?”

 

“I won't. Trust me,” The omega said with her green earnest eyes.

 

Sometimes Clarke was so scared of how good Lexa was getting at lying. Her eyes always seemed to be telling the truth in this occasions and Clarke never wanted to know the truth. She never wanted to know if what Lexa promised was truly happening, but the trick was that, not knowing the truth, and Clarke preferred a sweet lie other than a bitter truth.

 

“OK.” That’s how Clarke was placated. That’s how Clarke survived. Sometimes she thought she had an addiction to lies. She was deep in the web she wove she could only feel better when it grew, when Lexa was the one adding to it.

 

Somehow it made her feel a better person to not be the only one, but then remembered she was the one asking for it and it all came crashing on the ground.

 

That’s why she could never forgive herself for that weekend gone wrong, for Lexa's efforts thrown to the wind and her inability to speak the truth.

 

“You need to tell me, Clarke. What’s wrong with you?” She asked as they were talking a walk through the park after the exhibit. The exhibit that had gone terribly wrong because Clarke couldn't find it in herself to talk to her mate, her mate that was trying so hard for her.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Bullshit,” She said with such a conviction that the alpha almost trembled under her steely gaze, “I want to know what have I done. What the hell did I do to make you stop talking to me?”

 

“You did nothing, babe,” The alpha admitted, trying to reassure her lover with a warm palm on cheek, “You’re perfect.”

 

“Why does it sound like you mean the opposite?” She asked, defeated.

 

“It’s not you...It's me Lexa.”

 

“Is this your way of letting me down easy?”

 

“No! God, no,” Clarke said, terrified by the prospect, “I will never, never let you go...”

 

“Then why Clarke? Why?”

 

“Why what?” Clarke hoped to get out if this feigning some ignorance.

 

“Don't play dumb with me, Clarke Griffin,” Lexa threatened.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“If you want me to spell it out for you, I will, Clarke,” she almost snarled, “Why can’t you talk to me? Why can’t you look at me? And why don’t you touch me? It’s been almost a month since you have gone further than a kiss on my cheek.”

 

“I’ve been busy, Lex. That’s all,” She almost pleaded with her eyes, “I’ve taken more shifts at the café and I have to go to the gym everyday if I want to keep myself under control. I have summer assignments and therapist sessions. I just have a lot going on.”

 

“Bullshit,” She said again and Clarke avoided her eyes all together.

 

“I’m just tired.”

 

“Just stop lying!” Lexa almost yelled, frustrated with teary eyes.

 

“I’m not!” Lie. “Why can’t you just believe me? What do I have to do to prove myself to you? To prove you that I love you and I won’t just run off with the first girl that sniffs me! Tell me!”

 

“I don’t want you to lie!” A tear fell off from the pool those green eyes had become.

 

“And I’m not. I’m not lying.” Lie.

 

“Swear it.”

 

“I swear it, babe,” she said, crossing her fingers, while she was occupying Lexa with her mouth.

 

Thinking back to that episode, Clarke should have really told the truth.

It would have been ugly for the short run, but maybe beautiful for the long run.

 

* * *

 

After that first episode of lies directed to Lexa’s face, she really, really didn't know how to stop.

 

She kept avoiding her and on some days, the days when Lexa couldn't bear to see her as well, she slept at her mother's place.

 

She recognized those days, because Lexa was already gone when she woke up and didn’t even bother to wake her up with a peck on her lips.

 

Clarke never slept on those nights.

 

She wondered if she should just go home and come clean about everything, but she didn't have the guts. She imagined the scenarios, hundreds of them with Lexa screaming, crying, or not saying a words, but they all ended with Lexa running out of the door and never turning back again.

 

She wished there was a way out of this. She wished to be a better person. She wished for a lot of things, but wishing never brought anybody anywhere, so she stayed stuck in her childhood bed, staring at the ceiling. That’s how her mother found her some morning when she didn't have a shift.

 

“Clarke do you want to talk about it?” She asked one morning as bacon was rumbling to life in the pad.

 

“What do you mean?” She was starting to hate those words and they were the ones that were leaving her lips more times than not.

 

She had enough of playing dumb, but couldn't stop.

 

“Why are you sleeping here? I thought you said you had a girlfriend, who you live with,” Abby said without turning around to meet her eyes, “I haven't asked you anything about her, because I know that what you’d tell me might get her into troubles, but Clarke I need to know that you're OK. That she isn’t someone that could hurt you.”

 

“She’s not, mom. I promise.”

 

“Clarke, I trust your judgement, but I wish you'd tell me more about her and I wish to know if you staying here, that means that you’re having problems with her.”

 

“I... we’re fine, mom.”

 

Abby sighed a little defeated and served the bacon and eggs. “Just know that I’m here if you want to talk.”

 

And Clarke really wanted to talk to somebody about it.

 

After Wells left, she couldn't really talk to him about it. He was immersed in his new life, trying to make new friends and adapting to his mother and new step-mom lifestyle. She also already knew what his advice would be; just tell her dude!

 

Octavia and Raven were with Lincoln and Anya and she had the bad feeling that they’d end up ratting her out to their respective boyfriend and girlfriend so no thanks. If Lexa had to find out about it, it had to be from her.

 

Bellamy would tell O and Jasper and Monty were too high to have a serious conversation most of the time.

 

Luna just asked how of all that made her feel and she really wasn't any help lately. She was seriously thinking about stopping the hole therapist thing.

 

So, yeah, maybe her mom wasn't a bad choice.

 

“There’s something wrong actually...”

 

“What is it baby?” her mother asked, with her spine straight and her hands fisted on the plate’s sides. You could tell that her inner momma bear was coming out to play.

 

“It's not her, mom. It's me, actually....” She sighed, “I’ve been lying to her a lot lately.”

 

“About what, honey?”

 

“Mr Wallace told me about a program that could take me around Europe to study all the different drawing styles and architectural directly on the field, with the best professors that are out there. I’ve checked into it and there’s the chance to be hosted into families every city and country we will travel through, and it's be the biggest chance I’ve ever gotten in my whole life, and I want in. That's what I’m doing in the depandance. I’m preparing a piece for the program, but I haven't told her anything and I have no idea how to. I’ve already started the piece and applied through Polis University. I’m too deep into it to come clean now.”

 

Her mother used both hands to rub her face as deep sigh left her lips.

 

“I know,” Clarke added, bitterly, “I’ve made a mess.”

 

“You did,” Her mother agreed, defeated.

 

“It's just that I don't even know if I’d get in. I mean there are only twenty spots and all of the most important uni of the east coast have the obligation to let every potential art student know about the opportunity that they'd get in the school or not with the letter comes the informative brochure about the program.”

 

“You're good, Clarke,” Her mother said, sternly, as if telling her that she wasn't kidding anyone with this excuse, as if her mother knew she was getting in.

 

“I wasn't done, mom. My piece will have to get through all the professors of Polis and they are the best we have in the country and then it’ll have to be one of the twenty best sold piece at a charity event in which I have to present.” And Lexa will have too, if she’s taken the Polis job, something that Clarke wasn't sure of.

 

“You’re not listening to me Clarke. You’ll get in, because you're good. You're too good not to. I’ve seen your pieces. I know what your capable of and even if I don't know much about art. I know for sure that what you do isn't something others can do. Your art makes people feel something, and I feel things, a lot of things when I see your drawings that even Picasso or any other great painter could never make me feel. So when I tell that you’ll get in, I know you will.”

 

“You're my mom...It's normal you say those stuff...” The blonde alpha mumbled awkwardly, totally embarrassed by her mother's compliments.

 

“You know, when you were gone, I always went to your room and looked at them, and I cried every time I looked at the one of a small child’s hair caressed by her father's hand.”

 

“Because you know what that means.”

 

“Everyone with eyes will know what that means Clarke, but it’s more than that, because you've made it melancholic, and it shouldn't be. That's why I say all of this.”

 

“So you think there's no if?”

 

“I know there's no if.”

 

“I just don't want to fight with her for something that might not happen.”

 

“Clarke..” Her mother's pointed stare made her understand that she wasn't going to take another dismissal from her daughter. If Abby said she getting the spot, she was, end of the conversation.

 

“She’ll leave me, mom. If I tell her, she’ll leave me.”

 

“You don't know that.”

 

“She has a life here, a career.”

 

“She's put already all of it on the line, because of you, Clarke. You can't know what she's capable of for you.”

 

“How do you that?” Clarke asked, ticked by her mother knowing things she shouldn't about Lexa.

 

“Clarke, I’m pretty sure she isn't some twenty-one years old you're with and that is seriously the older age I’m comfortable thinking she is, and if she has an house of her own and a career I’m pretty sure she is older. I’m not stupid,” Her mother said, pointing to her temple.

 

“You're not going to tell anyone, are you?” She pleaded.

 

“For as much as thinking you with someone older than that makes my skin crawl, I won't. I’d be a little of an hypocrite if I did, after all. Me and your dad had almost nine years of age difference. Though I’d like to remind you that he was already old enough to give legal consent, which you’re not.”

 

“Our relationship isn't about sex, mom. I’m not her alpha toy. It's not like I fuck her to get a place to live,” The blonde alpha said, feeling irritated by her mother's conjectures.

 

“I know baby. That’s why I didn't go straight to the police.”

 

“Thank you for understanding,” She said, “Uhm, can I ask you something else? I mean since you're a doctor and I can't wait till my appointment with Nyko.”

 

“Sure, what is it?”

 

“Me and my girlfriend. We haven't...We haven't managed to...How do I say this..? Be... intimate lately...” The younger Griffin admitted, awkwardly, “It's not like we're trying or anything else. The last time it happened was like, a month ago when we took a trip and we didn't manage. I mean we’ve just had a fight, but it never stopped me before.”

 

Abby entered her doctor mode and with absolutely no shame breached the topic. “You didn't have an erection or didn't manage to hold it?”

 

“Uhm, the second one,” The girl said, full on embarrassed now. “We had to stop, because it just...It was gone, you know, and I didn't even, you know finish early. It was just gone.”

 

“Did you talk about it to your partner?”

 

“No, not really. She was already pissed and when I had to stop, she was fuming. She just ran out of the room and we didn't talk about it. I think I hurt her feelings back then. I think I made her feel unattractive or something like that.”

 

“I see,” Her mother said, nodding, “Have you managed to get excited since?”

 

“Yeah, like every morning, but I don't think she’d appreciate my advances and I’m afraid it’ll happen again.”

 

“Clarke, I think you already know what's going on.”

 

“It's the guilt, you think it's affecting that part of my life as well.”

 

Her mother only nodded.

 

“What should I do?” Clarke asked, rubbing her face with both hands.

 

“You should tell her the truth or at least admit there's something going on.”

 

“Half-truths are better than complete lies,” Clarke mocked.

 

“You shouldn't be judging me when you make the same mistakes as me,” Her mother scolded, and she was right.

 

After all, same sire, same pup.

 

* * *

 

“Hey,” She said softly, once she was home.

 

Lexa was making dinner and strangely but thankfully Lincoln and Anya were gone.

 

“Hey,” came Lexa’s clipped answer.

 

“Are you making some for me too?” Clarke asked, with her best puppy eyes in place, as she was slowly getting closer to her lover.

 

She neared her like she was a wild animal, letting her see each of her movements, only to stop a foot away from her.

 

“I always do”, Lexa said sternly, “Like yesterday.”

 

“Lex, I don’t want to fight.”

 

“Then send a text.”

 

“That's not why you’re angry.”

 

“Enlighten me then! Because really, I don't even what I'm angry about!”

 

“I told you. I don't want to fight. I'm tired of this of us fighting for everything.” She tried to reach her waist to feel the warmth of her body pressed to hers again. It was so long since she last felt it, but Lexa didn't want to and took a few steps back.

 

“What if I want to fight, instead? Mmm come on. Can't that be OK? Or do we always have to do the things you want to do? Because when you're in the mood, we do.”

 

“Fine! If you want to fight, let’s fight! Let's throw shit around and yell till the neighbors call the fucking cops!” The alpha said, grabbing a plate and throwing it directly on the other side of the room, till it smashed on the wall. She stayed paralyzed for a few seconds as she felt Lexa freak out next to her.

 

“Oh God, Clarke! What the fuck are you doing?” she screamed almost maniacal and truly it all made the scene more hilarious to the alpha, who turned around with a goofy on her lips and gently rested her hands on her omega forearms.

 

“Babe, you need try!”

 

“Have you lost your mind?”

 

“No, no... I’m fine. I’m better than I’ve ever been. Just grab a plate and throw it on the wall!”

 

“Clarke…”

 

“No, no! Just do it!” She said, grabbing a plate and putting it in her lover’s hands, “Trust me when I say it's what we need.”

 

“This is crazy,” Lexa sighed and aimed for the same wall Clarke hit, before throwing the ceramic with all the strength she had.

 

“Oh my God!” She exclaimed once it had crashed on the wall with a thunderous sound. “It's amazing!” She said with the same goofy smile her alpha was sporting, “Pass me another one!”

 

“Hell no, next is mine!”

 

* * *

 

“We should really clean this up.” Lexa said, passing the bottle of red cherry sweet wine to Clarke. She really had zero taste in alcoholic beverages something she and the alpha had in common, actually.

 

“Naah... I think I just want to stay here and admire our handy work.” The alpha smiled lazily with her legs dangling from the countertop she and Lexa were perched on.

 

“We should really act like mature adults. We can't just leave it here,” Lexa sighed.

 

“I’m neither mature or an adult, and I’m pretty sure I've dragged you to the irresponsible side so I guess we’d better wait for Lincoln and Anya to come home before moving.”

 

“You know I think I agree with you on this,” The teacher said with a mischievous look and smile, before a sigh escaped her lips and her expression turned upside down, “Did you cheat on me, Clarke?”

 

“No, never,” The alpha said, earnestly.

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“I want to tell you. I really do, but I’m not ready and I just need some more time before I tell you. Can it be okay? Just like this a little longer?”

 

“I won't wait for you forever.”

 

“I know. I’d never want you to.”

 

“OK, just one thing....Don't ever get soft on me ever again...”

 

“Oh my God, it was one time!”

 

“Yeah well I’m just making sure it won't happen again.”

 

“How 'bout I show you right now?”  the alpha proposed, wiggling her eyebrows.

 

“On the shattered ceramic, Clarke, seriously?”

 

“I meant on the counter.”

 

“Clarke, we make food here.”

 

“It has never stopped us before.”

 

“Yeah, but I think that if Anya and Lincoln will come back and find us fucking here, they’d probably leave us here for a week.”

 

“You’re right.” Clarke sighed “I just really hope they’ll come back soon.”

 

“Me too, me too.”

 

* * *

 

Bonus

 

“What...What the fuck did you do to the floor?” Lincoln yelled from the front door.

 

“Yay finally!” Clarke exclaimed as Lexa was throwing her arms to the sky, “Lincoln, my favorite boy!”

 

“Oh fuck no. I’m out of this shit fest!” They both heard Anya complain before hearing disappearing paces.

 

“No, please don't leave me!” Lincoln called after his sister, before he sighed and mumbled, “Now I get why Ms. Zarbech asked me to make sure Lexa was alive.”

 

At that, both Clarke and Lexa started to laugh uncontrollably.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone but our lovely lady author, WeAllGotLeftBehind has a lot of things going on and wanted to make sure that everyone knew that this is not abandoned (-hisses at the bad word-) but she does not know when she will have time to write chapter 30. Our lovely Alpha and Omega Clarke and Lexa has a few things to work out before they can go anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I will try to update at least once a week.


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